Deflecting attention doesn’t decrease addiction – develop connection

In the next verse. Deflecting attention doesn't decrease addiction.

When we are unable to control ourselves when we are succumbing to temptations that we know we should be resisting when we find ourselves having become addicted to certain degrading indulgences then we feel angry with ourselves and we deal with this anger often by deflecting it onto others. We have problems with ourselves and we are unable to deal with this problem. So scapegoating is a common tendency of the mind.

It is a common tendency in politics in the world because ultimately people in the world are made of are directed by their minds. So what applies at the social level collectively also applies at the personal level mentally individually mental level individually personally that means we try to deny we we need a scapegoat when we find ourselves being troubled by our own addictions then we we look for a scapegoat and our mind projects our upset and angry emotions onto others onto someone else and that person becomes our scapegoat. We vehemently hit out at the person blaming them for all our problems blaming them to be irresponsible, insensitive, incompetent incoherent whatever it is and thus we by dumping the blame of our problems on them we try to gain some relief from the crushing burden of those problems.

When we feel when we have problems and when we feel that we and we alone are responsible for our problems then we feel burdened and of course we can and should seek help to deal with those problems but the nature of attachments and addictions is such that that it but they are embarrassing they induce shame within us and because of such feelings of shame we just can't we just can't do anything we just can't we just can't deal with we just can't reveal this to anyone we feel mortified thinking what people will think about us and such thinking at one level it leads to isolation at another level it leads to alienation isolation because we can't share we don't feel confident enough we feel too ashamed to share what is actually troubling us and alienation because we start unfairly, unwarrantedly, disproportionately blaming others for problems that we are facing and although they haven't caused those problems although we ourselves are responsible for those problems but that's how we get, we feel bound we feel, that's how we feel impelled to make them into scapegoats and nobody likes to take blame nobody likes to take blame even when they are to be blamed what to speak of when they are not to be blamed and when people find us unreasonably dumping responsibility for our problems on them then they get alienated either they hit back at us in self-defense which increases the acrimony in the relationship or they just stay away from us with the relationship overall staying strained either way we find ourselves disoriented, distressed frustrated so what do we do about such situations actually the deflection has to be avoided you know there has to be, rather than deflection there has to be confrontation confrontation not with others but confrontation with ourselves we have to face the reality of who we are we have to acknowledge that our trouble is caused primarily by us that this kind of acknowledgement this kind of confronting reality is not meant to burden us because actually speaking we are anyway burdened whether we accept it or not our addiction, our attachment is a burden on us but it is a burden that we are unable to cope with, that we are unable to manage because we feel that we are we are utterly alone in a hostile world whereas actually what is much more hostile than the world is our own mind hmm if we were alone in a hostile place we would feel fearful but actually we need to feel even more fearful because we are in a hostile place we are alone with our hostile mind and with the mind with this deadly combination of isolation and illusion it sets us up for further victimization that actually when it is clear when it becomes, how the mind is working becomes clear to us that actually the mind is I have a problem but the mind is making me hit though the very people who can help me deal with the problem mind makes us hurt our helpers and hurt and help our hurters it makes us hit out at the people who want to help us and it makes us reach out to the people who are going to hurt us that is the mind makes us think that hmm that if people discover what I am doing if people come to know the reality of the kind of indulgences I succumb to kind of attachments that I have, the kind of activities that I have done they will look down on me and I will lose their respect and my life will become like hell and thinking like this fearing the scorn and the shame that will come we push people away from us so that they don't discover what we are doing so that they don't come to know what we are up to so that they don't so that our good image stays protected but actually you see if we are coping with if we are being caught with some some another thing which I will say suppose say some people who are drunkards you know we may not have the problem of alcoholism we may say have the problem of lust but whatever it is say somebody is alcoholic now their alcoholism often leads to anger and by the anger they push people away now of course alcoholism is something which cannot be so easily denied but often sexual addictions can be covered up for some time at least that's why we need to see how the mind is tricking us on the one side the mind makes us hurt those who could be our helpers by pushing them away in the hope that our good image will be protected whereas actually whatever be the image the substance beyond the image is actually already bad and because of our irritability our image is also going to become bad we may not be known as addicted people but we may be known as short tempered people that also is harmful for our image but another way equally dangerous way in which the mind torments us is through getting us to help our hurters that means that the mind makes us think that the very addiction that is making our life unlivable the mind makes us think that I can't live without it I need to get it and I need to get it at all costs so by such thinking that I need this and I have to get it at all costs we end up becoming more and more attached and addicted we actually strengthen our addiction by further indulgence and as our addiction becomes strengthened we find it more and more difficult to do anything to move forward in our life we find it almost impossible to face life as our mind keeps beating us more and more unwittingly we are supplying weapons to the mind which is going to beat us we are making stronger the lust, the anger within us which is actually tormenting us so if we just can understand the way the mind is mind is making our life into a hell then we will understand that somehow or other I have to distance myself from the mind I have to do whatever it takes to push the mind into the background and to move towards making my life situation better so the way to push the mind away is to bring Krishna close the way to push the mind away is to bring Krishna close at what level physically the mind is close to us being next to the soul as a part of the subtle body and also positionally Krishna is also close to us because he is also next to the Atma as the Paramatma however what shapes our consciousness is not so much position as disposition so from the perspective of disposition we are very close to the mind and we are far away from Krishna we are actually very very close to the mind because we are actually the mind is our next door because we are attached to the mind we believe, we hear the mind constantly we believe what the mind says and we let ourselves be caught, consumed by the mind's promises the mind is like a fisherman with a bait the mind is like a fisherman with a bait and its promise of pleasure is the bait and we are like the fish who get caught by the fisherman of the mind so we need to push the mind away and because the mind is close to us and because the mind is constantly speaking we cannot just push the mind away actually we can pull Krishna close by chanting his holy names by hearing his message by rendering service to him by absorbing ourselves in him we can bring ourselves close to him we can invoke his presence in our heart and the more Krishna comes close to us the more we start living in the light and love of his presence then the more we start understanding that the mind is actually something which I can keep at a distance the mind is actually tricking me and I need to treat the mind with suspicion not submission I need to evaluate what the mind is saying rather than uncritically accepting it and only through evaluation can I take action and so of course there are direct devotional activities which connect us with Krishna and along with that there are also indirect devotional activities which can connect us with Krishna that means indirect devotional activities are the activities of Bhakti indirect devotional activities are the activities of It's not indirect, but it is just that they are the activities of doing various kinds of services in the association of devotees. Even if we are not directly remembering Krishna at that time, we are still remembering things connected with Krishna. And even if it is difficult for us to reveal our Narthas, what we need to do is that we need to find some way by which we can come close to devotees.

We need to find some way by which we stay close to devotees. We need to find some way by which we can have reciprocations with those who are having reciprocations with Krishna and thus we can get some kind of taste of Krishna Bhakti. We can get some level of reciprocation of the taste of devotion through the security that we will get by our connection with Krishna.

We can decrease our vulnerability to our minds, delusions and deceptions. And so deflecting attention doesn't decrease addiction. That means that as we have a problem and if we deflect our attention from the problem to others whom we make as scapegoats, that doesn't decrease the addiction.

So instead of trying to deflect attention, what we can do is we can redirect our attention towards Krishna. Yes, sometimes focusing our attention on our conditioning, on our addiction can be scaring. It can be horrifying.

It can be so disheartening that we may just become, just feel crippled and crushed. So we naturally don't want to feel crippled. That crippled means I can't do anything and crushed means that I feel that there is so much to do, there is so much burden.

So I just can't give up this addiction and the consequences of having this addiction, the burdens are so many that I can't cope with it also. So we feel crippled and crushed. And at that time, even if we can't put our attention or addiction for dealing with it, we can know that we can also deal with the addiction by directing our attention towards Krishna.

So, of course, we can contemplate on our addiction to feel the need for Krishna. But no matter how dangerous, how disastrous the addiction is, still our need for Krishna has to be more than our fear of the addiction. So our need for Krishna has to be greater than our fear of our addiction, our insecurity, our problems.

That is the meaning of being Krishna conscious and not problem conscious, not addiction conscious. And as we thus become Krishna conscious, we will find that we will be able to deal with issues far more maturely than what we would have otherwise. Just by the connection with Krishna, our consciousness will become stabler, our life will become calmer.

And we will learn better how to decrease our vulnerability to that addiction, how to boost our security. So even if confession or confrontation seem unbearably unpalatable, still we can continue with our connection. That means confrontation means facing the reality of the gravity of our addiction.

Confession means admitting to someone else how terribly we are bound and how abominably we may have acted. Even if these seem unbearably unpalatable to us, still we can persevere in our connection with Krishna through whatever practices we can do. And that connection, that will be the basis of our transformation.

Ultimately, confession and confrontation, they alone are not solutions. It is the connection with Krishna that is the solution. And we connect with Krishna through the diligent practice of bhakti.

So whatever happens, now, if our addiction doesn't cause alienation from Krishna, then there is always hope for reformation. By connecting with Krishna with all seriousness, we can reform ourselves. And gradually as our connection with Krishna becomes stronger, as we get higher taste, as our higher intelligence awakens, then we will be able to better resist the addiction and learn what we need to do to protect ourselves from it and to eventually purge ourselves free from it.