Desires exhaust us but remain inexhaustible themselves
Desire exhausts us but doesn't get exhausted itself. When we get caught in the grip of desire, for example say a person becomes addicted, say to alcohol or nowadays it is to internet use, going to watching video, playing video games, watching movies or just chasing after addictive desires, what essentially happens is that desire gets exhausted. Rather we get exhausted but the desire never gets exhausted.
It exhausts us and remains inexhaustible. So when we strive to practice bhakti, when we strive to go closer to Krishna, at that time desires often distract us. At that time we find that we just have no cultural, no capacity, intellectual or emotional to resist the power of desire.
That's because desire itself is such a powerful thing. So what do we do about such a desire? Actually there is not much we can do. We may feel because Mahashino Mahapapma Vidhe Namiha Vairinam, Krishna says, Mahashino, that it is all-devouring, Mahapapna, it is extremely sinful, Vidhe Vairinam, as he says to us in 3.39, we are a constant enemy, it just does not let us go, no matter how much we try to fight it.
So what do we do when confronted with an overpowering desire? We fight, we resist and then we just call it quits. So we make resolutions to give up the desire but then after sometimes the obsession seems to grow stronger and the resolution to resist the indulgence seems to grow weaker and thus we end up captured, we end up overpowered, we end up unable to resist at all. We all need to have at our core a spiritual essence.
Of course we have in an objective sense the understanding that we are at our core spiritual beings but most people are not aware of this, of their core spirituality and more importantly even when they are aware they are not exactly there in the core of their heart convinced of their essential spirituality or at least in terms of the consequence of that essential spirituality for causing them to amend their thoughts, their desires, their aspirations, their intentions, their whole mental world which is consumed by the particular desire, that is the pitiable state of addiction wherein a person tries but is just not able to give up the repeated indulgence. So our physical energy is finite. At the same time the energy of the desire within us seems to be practically infinite.
Sometimes some people they are addicted to say watching something on the internet. Then they may wake up, they may have done a lot of hard work throughout the day and they do need desperately some sleep at night but when in the middle of the night the desire comes, they are physically exhausted but the desire is not exhausted and thus the desire it drags them out of the bed. Sometimes we may have taskmasters, sometimes we may have some bosses who make us work outrageously hard, who exploit us, they call us on weekend, they call us at late nights, they call us at any time and every time and thus we end up incapable of dealing with our particular situations in proper ways.
We end up overwhelmed by the inebriaties of our particular situation. So when we understand that desire has so much energy, what do we do at that time? We deal with inexhaustible energy of desire. The best way to deal with it is by rising or raising ourselves to a higher level of consciousness, is by purifying ourselves and recognizing that we need to redirect our desire.
Desire itself cannot be given up but the specifics of where our desire is directed that can be changed and changing that is the essence of purification. Now it requires to some extent conscious intention but also involves a subconscious redirection. The combination of conscious intention and subconscious redirection, conscious intention means that we decide that this is not the way I am going to act and rather than deciding that I will not desire something, we focus on desiring something else.
So rather than saying, deciding that I will not desire sense objects, we need to focus on desiring Krishna, on desiring to love Krishna, desiring to serve Krishna, desire to remember Krishna, desire to come closer to Krishna. To the extent we do that, to the extent we will channel the energy of desire for our purposes, that means for our spiritual upliftment. So desire itself is enormously energetic.
Now where that energy of desire goes, that can vary from person to person. So to be able to channel the energy of desire constructively, we need to have ourselves grounded in spiritual reality. So to have a spiritual essence means that in our spirit we are convinced that this is the course of action I want to live, this is the way I want to behave, this is the way I want to function and with that conviction we mould our life accordingly.
When we are ready for such a determined remoulding of our life, then we will find that there is much that will come to our aid in transforming our consciousness and taking us towards Krishna. So the exalted devotees, they have a desire to serve Krishna that far exceeds their body's capacity to serve Krishna. But because Krishna can be served even through remembrance, so even if one's physical capacity to serve Krishna is exhausted and the desire to serve him remains an exhausted, the desire connects us with him and when the desire connects us with him, then that gives us a deep sense of fulfillment because at one level Krishna can be experienced just through recollection.
He, when we remember him, he's there with us because he is not just a distant object or even a distant person. He's all-pervading person and by recollection there can be connection with Krishna. So by recognizing that misdirected desire, desire directed towards material things can be extremely damaging but properly directed desire, desire directed towards Krishna can be extremely empowering.
By recognizing this, we can channel our energy and move closer and closer to Krishna and then the inexhaustibility of desire will actually bring us inexhaustible.