Emotion Commotion Devotion – Nourishing our emotions in a culture of emotional exploitation

So, thank all of you for coming here today for this series programme. I'll be speaking on emotion, commotion, and devotion. Emotion, commotion, and devotion.

Emotions are a defining feature of life. In the Ramayana, when Lord Rama is exiled, at that time, Lord Rama very obediently accepts the sentence of banishment. But Lakshmana opposes.

He says, why should you accept passives generated in justice? But when Rama says, no, I'm going to obey my father, he goes. Then Lakshmana also goes with him. And then when they see, when they are situated in Chitrakoot, Chitraki Buddha, Dhriniketa, Nairama.

So, he makes his abode in Chitrakoot. At that time, they see a commotion. And Rama asks Lakshmana to climb on a tree.

And then Lakshmana sees from there. He says that the whole Ayodhya army is coming. He says Bharat is there.

He says, Bharat, he must be in cahoots with Kaikeyi. And now he has come to attack and kill us. Now, he will not escape the wrath of my arrows.

I will kill him. And then, Rama very gently, but strongly, he says, no, I do not consider Bharat's love for you, for me, any less than your love for me. Now, I'm sure Bharat must have come out of benevolent intention.

Has he offended you in any way that you are so angry with him? Okay. Is it better now, you think? Or is it that, you know, you have become already fed up with life in the forest and you are venting out your wrath on Bharat? If that is the case, then, if I ask, Bharat will stay and you can go back and do the thing. Lakshmana gets completely deflated by that.

Lakshmana actually sees Bharat, how sweet, how gentle. It's one of the most moving incidents in the Ramayana, when Bharat and Rama have their loving tussle. Bharat is saying, come back to the kingdom.

Rama says, no, I cannot come back. And finally, Bharat says that, you know, I cannot go back without you. If you do not come back to the kingdom, if you do not accept that the kingdom is yours, then I will sit here and I will fast.

And he sits down for fasting. So, at that time, Rama says that, Bharat, your love has won. So, actually this is said to be a confrontation between love and duty.

Rama's duty to his father and Bharat's love for his brother. So, Rama says that, your love has won. I cannot refuse your request.

You have come to give me this kingdom, I accept it. Now, Bharat's face just blossoms in joy. And then, Rama is also very excited.

He says, at the same time, I feel, I cannot disobey my father. Therefore, after accepting the kingdom which you have given me, I entrust it to you who occupies. So, on my behalf, you take care of this kingdom.

And let me honour the world which I gave to my father. So, at that time, Bharat realises, now he cannot speak any further. And he says, and the whole world should know that you are the king, that I am the king.

Please give me some token. And then Rama gives his padukas. Now, if today there are two sons that they had, or two children, they had succession battle.

Now, if one son gave his paduka, the other person will probably hit him on the head. So, finally, Lakshman takes the paduka on his head and goes. So, at that time, after that, Lakshman talks.

Now, Lakshman and Rama have a fraternal relationship. But sometimes, you know, Rama takes a paternal role. Because he is a father.

He is after all the elder brother. So, then Lakshman and, yes, he becomes very apologetic. He sees how much emotion Bharat has.

So, he says that, you know, I don't understand why I become so angry sometimes. So, so, at that time, Rama is the elder brother. He pats his head and says, you know, you know, you are very sentimental.

So, then Lakshman asks, are sentiments bad? Is it undesirable to be sentimental? So, Bharat replies, no. Sentiments are very good. He says, emotions are the ornaments of life.

But, we should choose those emotions that lift us up. All the devotees come ahead. Some other devotees may also come in afterwards.

Is it on? So, emotions are the ornaments of life. And certainly, emotions should be cherished. But, Lord Rama adds, we should choose those emotions which take us towards Dharma.

Not those emotions which take us away from Dharma. We should choose those emotions which lift us up. Not those emotions which drag us down.

So, this is a very important emotional principle. Not just an emotional principle. Actually, it is a principle even for human life in general.

We are emotional creatures. And it is not wrong. But, we also have intelligence by which we can choose which emotions to cultivate and which emotions to eliminate or to at least regulate.

And, for that, we need an intelligence which is directed by something higher than our emotions. Our intelligence can work either to direct our emotions or our intelligence can be directed by our emotions. So, what Lord Rama is telling Lakshman is that let your emotions be directed by your intelligence, knowledge of Dharma.

When you know what is Dharma, then accordingly, you decide which emotions to cultivate, which emotions to regulate or eliminate. So, another example from the Ramayana to illustrate this. This happened before when Bharat comes back and he sees Ayodhya is devastated by the double disaster.

First, the exile of Rama who is the beloved prince of the whole kingdom and then the demise of Dashrath. And then he hears that Kaikeyi is responsible for all this. He is furious and he comes to know that it is Mathura who initiated Kaikeyi for all this.

And then they go for Dashrath's body has been kept in an oil vat because the final rites have to be done by his son and no son was there at that time. So, then they do the final rites both Bharat and Shatrughna are there and they come back. So, as they are coming back to the palace at that time Bharat is caught by his son.

He is not caught. He is approached and some courtiers start talking with him. Shatrughna moves onwards.

And then just outside Kaikeyi's palace Shatrughna sees Mathura. He is furious with her. Just runs to her and grabs her.

Mathura screams and runs away. She runs straight into the palace of Kaikeyi. The whole of Ayodhya is angry with her.

So, as she tries to run inside to get shelter the guard over there catches her. The guard catches her and drags her back. She is the cause of the ocean of agony that is now drowning Ayodhya.

Punish her as you see fit. So, then Shatrughna he just catches Mathura and starts shaking her in great fury. And all that anger and agony and the death of their father and the great injustice to their brother.

So, all pent up and starts coming out. At that time Mathura realises nobody can see her. So, then she comes out and she starts screaming for Kaikeyi.

And Kaikeyi comes rushing out of the palace to see what has happened to her maid. And as Kaikeyi comes over there Bharat also comes behind to see what is this commotion. And then Kaikeyi says Shatrughna to stop.

But Shatrughna pays no attention to her. And now Shatrughna is not her son, he is her step son. So, she is her own son, Bharat behind.

So, Bharat tells Shatrughna to stop. Bharat is still furious with his mother. He looks at her with eyes of cold fury and he says What Shatrughna is doing to Mathura I feel like doing to you.

She is shocked. But then he says Stop. Shatrughna stop.

Shatrughna is still very angry and he is also not ready to stop. So, okay Shatrughna, thank you. Now, if whatever you want or you are trying to do to Mathura I have contemplated doing this a hundred times.

The one reason that has checked me from doing this is the knowledge that if we heard either Mantra or Kirtan Ram will never perform this. Ram will not want them to be heard. And if we at all are to have any hope of getting him to come back and that hope will be lost if you hurt him with the hope.

When Shatrughna hears this he immediately lets go. So, the point is two fold over here. There are there may be righteous causes for certain emotions.

The emotion of anger that was there in Bharat and Shatrughna was completely righteous. What Kaikeyi had done was quite very grievous and that she had done all this saying that what I was doing was for the sake of Bharat. It was very difficult for Bharat to dominate it all at that time.

And his anger was in all sense warranted. We could say that. But, it is Kshatriya code, not just a Kshatriya code, it is a normal human code that one does not raise one's hand against a woman, want to speak of one's own mother or any elderly woman or want to speak of any woman for that matter.

So, although at that point the emotion of anger was justified. What gave Bharat the capacity to control that emotion was his devotion to Ram. His desire to please Ram or at least his desire that Ram should not be displeased with him.

So, what this means is in this particular story what I would like to make out point is all of us have within us some emotions which will drag us down. Which will make us want to indulge in things which will be harmful for us. And all of us have some upward connections, some emotions which inspire us to do the right things.

And which emotions will win out in our life will depend on which association we value the most. We will have in our society, we will have say friends who will be very materialistic and they may make obscene jokes and they may do all sorts of materialistic things. And if we value their friendship, if we consider their opinion of us very important then we will do whatever it takes to please them.

And by that association or not just by that association by our attachment to that association because we are attached to what we thought good in that association then our lower side will come out. So, our emotion if they are not checked, they will bring about commotion. And because they will drag us down, they will create chaos in our life.

And if you don't want our emotions to drag us down then they have to be connected upwards to devotion. So, now a very good example of how a good person can be emotionally manipulated is Karna. Now, Karna was by nature a virtuous person but he got attached to Duryodhana.

I gave an elaborate class a few days ago on the whole life of Karna. I won't go into all of it but Duryodhana knew exactly what buttons to press to make Karna happy. So, he swung Karna over and then because of his desire because of Karna's desire to please Duryodhana, Karna did things which he himself bitterly regretted afterwards.

In the gambling match in that assembly when Draupadi was dragged into the assembly with her and she was wearing only a single cloth her period was just ending at that time and so she was dressed in that apparel. So, at that time it was a scandalous thing, outrageous thing to do and how did Karna justify it? Karna called Draupadi a prostitute and then he said she's already got five husbands, she's a prostitute. Now, whether she comes with one cloth or no cloth, there's no difference for such a woman.

You just take off her clothes. Now, Karna himself says to Krishna, I bitterly regretted what I spoke at that time. I spoke because I wanted to please Duryodhana.

So, what happens is our emotions can cause us to be dragged down if they are manipulated by others, especially those whose morals, whose standards are not very high, they'll drag us down. Starting with this framing from the two epics, Mahabharata and Ramayana, I would like to talk a little bit about contemporary society. So, I'll start from a historical perspective and then I will come to our current situation.

If we look at the advertisements, say 100 years ago, most advertisements, at that time, most advertisements would tell how good a product is. Suppose somebody wanted to sell a vehicle. They would say, oh, this vehicle has this much mileage, this vehicle has this advantage, this advantage, this advantage.

And, that's why you should take this vehicle. So, all advertisements were based on how good a vehicle is. The father of modern psychology is Sigmund Freud.

And he is called psychology. Now, he was, in some ways, brilliant. He was a very lockwood speaker, very entertaining intellectual, but he was also perverted in many ways.

So, one of the theories that, or one of his observations or theories, whatever you want to say, he said that the human mind is like a turbulent ocean. And, on that, the human mind filled with turbulent ocean. What are the waves in the ocean? That is our emotions.

And, he said, on top of that, our reason, his language is our intelligence. He said, our reason is like a canoe, tiny boat. And, we, we want to act reasonably.

We expect others to act reasonably. But, at any time, from that ocean, turbulent waves may come and completely overthrow the person's reason and make that person act irrationally. And, that was how he explained.

Now, he lived at a time when the First World War just took place. That was the time he was at. His popularity was up and then afterwards it came down.

So, he said, the cause of the First World War and then, subsequently, his followers said, the cause of the Second World War also. Now, how could one country consider, Germany started considering that Jews are the cause of our own problems and they ended up killing 5 million Jews. Total 10 million people.

How did this happen? He said, because Hitler emotionally manipulated the whole German nation. They believed his propaganda that all our problems are caused by Jews. And, just eliminate Jews, our problems will be solved.

So, this sort of events on the world screen also, seem to confirm his theory. That, if people's emotions are activated, then, their reason will be sabotaged. Their reason will be destroyed.

Now, this insight, I'll talk about how it correlates with the Gita's wisdom a little later. But, let me take the historical perspective forward. This insight was used, was captured by the advertising industry.

And, whereas, prior to Freud's theories, all advertisements focused on how good a product is. Now, all the advertisements are focussing on how good a product will make you feel. Not how good the product is, how good you will feel after getting this product.

So, the focus became, triggering the emotions of people. And, manipulating them based on their emotions. So, once I was there, going to Kolkata to go to Mayapur.

So, I saw over there on the screen, there was an advertisement. So, it was of a Bollywood star. It was a young man.

And, he was just walking along. And, this Bollywood star comes. And, as soon as he comes, there are some, there's a bevvy of young girls.

They see him. And, they start squealing. And, they start cheering him.

They run to him and hug him and kiss him. And, this young man is looking so, nobody notices me. Nobody cares for me.

And, then this Bollywood star comes. And, I tell him, what is my secret? He says, my secret is, you know, I'm fair and handsome. And, now, then, the next screen shows that.

Now, his hair is, they don't even show it, I think, as far as I remember. Applying the hair. Now, he's walking along.

He's applied the shampoo. And, he comes. And, then, all those girls, you know, they all start coming to him.

Squealing and hugging him and kissing him. When I watch this, this is an advertisement that is an insult to both male and female intelligence. You know, that a woman will fall for a man just because he has applied a shampoo.

This is an insult to female intelligence. And, that men will believe such fairy tales. That is an insult to male intelligence.

But, I've seen this advertisement so many times. It's a popular advertisement. And, people buy into it.

Why? Because it makes them feel good. So, the what I'm talking about is not just in the advertising industry. Now, it has actually pervaded the whole media that it's all about exploiting your feelings.

How we can exploit people's feelings to make them do what we want them to do. The whole advertising industry is based on that. There's a book written about these fast foods that are sold.

So, Michael Morse is a Pulitzer-award winning journalist. And, he wrote a book on sugar, salt, and fat. How the food giants How the food giants with McDonald's and all these big multinational corporations.

So, how they book us. So, what he wrote in that is amazing research. So, their research has found that when we eat some food, some food tastes delicious, some food tastes ordinary.

Some food tastes not just delicious but is irresistible. So, what they did this research when people are eating food, you know, when some food tastes as irresistible, find out what are the areas of the brain that are activated. So, that is what is called the statory cortex the statory cortex in the brain which is activated when we eat food.

And depending on the taste of the food, the more the food seems tasty, then the more that area gets activated in the brain. So, what this food research or this food giants like McDonald's and others they found that the more salt, the more sugar, the more fat you put in food, the more the statory cortex of the brain gets activated. And by that people find that once they get a taste for eating food cooked outside the house because it is filled with oil, sugar and fat it is not at all nutritious.

It is in fact hazardous for health because that level of sugar, salt and fat is definitely not good. But people get hooked to it. So, what is happening here is you know when a mother prepares a food for a child, when our family members prepare a food for us, there is love, there is concern, there is caring over there.

But here there is not just exploitation but systematically, scientifically planned exploitation. And the result of this is that when people eat this commercial food, this sort of food prepared by the food giant, it gives a it gives a momentary zing. Yes, the brain gets activated, there is a peak impulse that comes and people feel so captivated by that food that they feel, I just have to eat more and more and more.

And then, after that zing goes down, because what happens all materials stimuli, they may give some pleasure. But in that pleasure, there is a law of diminishing returns. So, if we eat something first time, it is great.

Second time, it is great. Third time, well, good. Fourth time, okay.

Fifth time, then next time. I don't know what I think about it. So, if something is told, first time it is irresistible, if your stomach is full, ten times somebody says, eat it.

No, I can't eat it now. If I force to eat it, I may vomit it also. So, the point is that there is a law of diminishing returns.

So, what they did is, slowly they start hiking up these levels. So, whenever they find that the shames of their products are going down, just increase the fat a little bit. Increase the salt a little bit.

Increase the sugar a little bit. In fact, so according to this author, now a situation has come. Because of these foods, now, there are many problems that come up.

One of the biggest problem is obesity. So, now the problem with obesity in America, at least for some years, it has become so great that there were not enough young men in America, young men or even young women, who could join the American army because no one was fit enough. Everybody has to obese.

So, that was because initially the American government didn't want to have immigrants join their army. Because how much their national interest will get compromised, they don't know. But they had a crisis because all the American children, they were so obese that they were just not fit enough to join the army.

They had to open it to the immigrants. The point which I am making is that throughout in the modern culture, there is very systematic plan to exploit us by our emotions. Exploit us by our emotions.

And this, the result of this often is that people just get so hooked to certain things that it's almost impossible to give it up. Although, initially there is pleasure, but afterwards, it becomes an addiction. And later on, we do that activity not because it gives us pleasure, but because not doing it causes pain.

Initially, a person may smoke or drink because it feels so good. But once a person gets habituated, addicted to that, then it's not that by smoking or drinking one gets pleasure. It's not doing it causes so much agitation.

So then at that time, the indulgence is not so much a pleasure as a relief from a self inflicted misery. The indulgence is not a pleasure. It's a relief from a self-inflicted misery.

Why is it self-inflicted? Because we ourselves got attached, we ourselves got addicted. And then, I can't live without it. I have to eat this.

I have to do that. I have to smoke. I have to drink.

And then, a person, then, even if one does that activity, there's not much pleasure. Maybe just a little relief. And after that, that relief goes away.

And again, one feels like, I have to do this again. I have to do this again. I have to do this again.

And perhaps the most most one of the most detrimental ways in which emotional manipulation happens in today's times is through pornography. In pornography, essentially, the person is objectified to a shape. The person is just reduced to a shape.

And that shape is just for mind pleasure. And in the Vedic way of looking at things, there are different levels of consciousness. So, the lowest level of consciousness is Annamaya.

Annamaya means what? Everything is full. So, like a small child, or an infant when he is born, actually, it feels the world by its mouth. The first sensation it gets is the mother's breast from which it gets milk.

So, because that is nourishment, it starts putting everything. It puts fingers in the mouth, maybe legs fingers in the mouth also. It takes a pillow and puts it in the mouth.

So, the idea is the whole world is potential food. The whole world is potential food. So, now from there, one is to grow upwards.

And then one comes to Pranamaya. Pranamaya means one starts discerning. Okay, okay, this I should not eat.

Because the primary consideration is not food, primary consideration is survival. So, a small child may take a knife and put it in the mouth also. Small infant.

But then, when his mouth starts bleeding, this causes pain. So, one comes to Pranamaya level of consciousness, where one starts seeing, this is not favourable for my survival. So, I will not eat.

Then after that Pranamaya, there is Manomaya. Manomaya is where one is at the level of emotions. Mind is the location for emotions.

So, at the Manomaya level, we are driven primarily by emotions. So, food and survival are also considerations. But we do many activities which are not necessarily directly connected with food or survival.

You know, people go and say, go and see some natural scenery. People go and watch movies. So many things they do, which is just, they are driven by, I feel like doing it.

So, at the Manomaya level, it's feeling, feeling driven primarily. Then, subsequently, the names, the nomenclature sometimes varies. Sometimes called Gyanamaya or Vijnanamaya.

Where one is at the level of the intelligence. One starts thinking about ultimate purpose. And the highest level is Anandamaya.

Anandamaya is where we realise our spiritual identity and we experience spiritual happiness. We experience spiritual, the development of spiritual emotions and therein, there is real happiness. There is lasting happiness.

So, Anandamaya, Pranamaya, Manomaya, Gyanamaya and Anandamaya. Now, among these, we all are born from the Anandamaya consciousness. As we grow up, we come to Pranamaya.

Then we come to Manomaya. In our normal life, we operate somewhere between Manomaya and Gyanamaya. We use our intelligence sometimes.

Sometimes we are driven by our emotions. But, now, what happens in pornography is that there is no concept of any relationship with anyone. There is just exploitation of a form for one's own pleasure.

So, it is not even Manomaya. It is simply unknown. Where one is seeing a particular form with a predatory outlook.

This form is for my enjoyment. And, the scale of pornography industry is mind-boggling. Actually speaking, just in America itself, the revenues coming from the pornography industry.

In America, three sports are popular. Largely speaking, there is soccer, there is baseball and there is basketball. And, there is huge money.

In India, IPL is very rich. There is much, much more money in football, basketball and baseball. And, all the franchises of football, basketball and baseball combine together.

Whatever is their revenue, the revenue of the pornography industry is three times more than that. It's huge. And, what is happening is actually people are being exploited.

So, leave alone spirituality, when people get attracted to objectifying others as just good-looking forms for my exploitation, even at a material level, relationships can't sustain. What we call spiritual level. Because, every relationship requires give and take, the reciprocation.

But, here with this objectification of the other, there is no reciprocation, there is only exploitation. And, no relationship can sustain on that platform. So, it's not only spiritually detrimental, even materially it actually wrecks relationships.

It destroys one's capacity to contribute to relationships. Damages, not destroys. Depends on person to person.

So, now, the point which I am making here is that what do, I was talking about emotions which draw us up and emotions which draw us down. So, and I was talking about how in current culture, there are a lot of sources from which, where we are exploited by the triggering of those emotions which drag us down. The triggering of those emotions which drag us down.

And, in such a culture, actually speaking, there is enormous frustration that results. If you look at, again, go back to the history. Now, we say we are in the information age.

Prior to that, there was more of the industrial age. Prior to that was the agricultural age. So, when the economy shifted largely from the agricultural age to the industrial age, then there was large scale relocation because migration from rural areas to urban areas.

Because the urban centres became the places where people would have primarily employment and lucrative opportunities. So, now, one result, one significant result of that was that people became separated from a supportive family structure. If people for many generations have been living in one place, then they have many relatives over there.

Not just parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins. So, there was a whole supportive family structure. And, from there, when the industrial age came, people came for lucrative opportunities to the urban areas where the culture was much more of competition than cooperation.

Because if there is a family, then we are all a family unit together. Then, you know, if our family member becomes successful, that also contributes to the whole family. But when we come in urban, there are urban centres, often there are limited number of jobs.

And every friend is also a potential competitor. So, the overall, the isolation started increasing. The isolation, that means, the supportive family structure became lesser and lesser.

And this had many results. I will focus on a couple which is relevant to our relationship. So, because of this, the pressure on the relationship of marriage became much more.

Now, we all need emotional satisfaction, emotional fulfilment from multiple sources. Now, we have our elders, we have our equals, we have our juniors. Now, when people are not there in supportive family structure, then, there is a tremendous expectation from the relationship of marriage.

And this expectation was hyped up much more by the whole movie industry, especially with their focus on romance. So, now, the problem is that, of course, the male-female interaction, and even, dharmically, the attraction is there within marriage. That is always a fact of human life.

It is a fact of human life. But, when there is mass media which glamorises it constantly, then, the expectations people have become sky-high. Once, I got a college programme.

So, there, one boy, sometimes people write some funny singing statements on their T-shirts. So, this boy did a statement. 90% of the world's women are beautiful.

The rest 10% are in my college. So, what he meant, I don't know. The sentiment over there is, when we live in a culture where the most beautiful, good-looking people are glamorised, whether it's through billboards or through movies or wherever it is, then, we start comparing everything around us with that.

And, in real life, things are never going to be as attractive, as wonderful as they are depicted in movies. But, when that becomes the framework for comparison, then, we sentence ourselves to frustration. Because, that is never going to be a realistic standard.

So, when the, actually, comparing ourselves to the models, whether they are heroes or heroines, we compare whatever is the figures and the built and all that is depicted in the media. If we start comparing ourselves with them, that is a very easy way to make ourselves miserable. Because, nobody is going to really stand out in that comparison.

And, factually speaking, even those people, those movie stars or those models, the way they look on the screen, they don't look all that good in their real life also. There is a lot of makeup. So, the point which I am making through all this is that the emotional support that came from the whole supportive family structure was lost.

Because of the shift to a distant place for employment. And then, the expectation, so all that was, all the emotional support that came from various relationships, all that became concentrated now on the relationship of marriage. Further, the expectation from marriage got hiked up more because there is this whole, what is marriage? The idea is, oh, what we see in movies in Bollywood and Hollywood.

That's what marriage is. Now, sometimes some people ask me, which is better, love marriage or arranged marriage? Now, this question itself is biassed. Because all marriages are meant to be based on love.

No marriage can be sustained without love. But when you say that arranged marriage and love marriage, it's as if in arranged marriage there can never be any love. Now, if you wanted to rephrase the question, you could say, which is better? Infatuation marriage or arranged marriage? You know, also, the question is, not that some religions or some traditional cultures are against love.

That's how it's portrayed. If it's a love marriage or arranged marriage, the idea is, oh, you know, these traditional family structures and they are all, they are so much against love. That is not the point.

The point is that love has to be developed. And love is not just about initial infatuation. It's about a lifelong commitment.

It's about a lifelong commitment. And that requires sacrifice. That requires hard work.

So, when we are exploiting, this dichotomy between love marriage and arranged marriage, this is the way we are emotionally exploited. There's nothing, it's not necessary to entertain this dichotomy in mind at all. The point is, all marriages are supposed to be based on love.

But how that love develops, that may vary. So, we have to check whether what is being developed is real love or it is just infatuation. And that sort of check is lost when you create this dichotomy.

Okay, arranged marriage or love marriage? No, all marriages are based on love. But what is real love and what is portrayed as love, or what is conceived of as love in the initial stages, that may not always be the same. So, even in psychologists, they have done research and they have found that when a man and a woman are attracted to each other, what initially happens is that the body secretes various hormones.

And researchers have found that there are certain hormones which are secreted when people feel romantic. I'm not just talking about the just hormones related to sex. I'm just talking about, in the brain also, certain hormones are secreted which give that romantic feeling.

You feel you touch someone and you feel electricity is going through your body. So, all those things poets talk about. So, now what happens that that is just hormonal generated stimulations.

And these, there is an article in I think it was Science or Nature, one of the very prestigious magazines. The title of the article was Romance has a Bench Life of 9 Months. Romance has a bench life of 9 months.

That means what? Those initial emotions, those initial emotions that make people feel so irresistibly attracted, those are secreted by hormones and those hormones last for about 9 months in the relationship. So, whether that relationship is based on initial infatuation or whether that relationship is based on a deeper compatibility where it will be sustainable. That cannot be known in the initial stages.

Because we are spiritual beings but we are in physical bodies. And the physical bodies trigger certain emotions. They can obscure our perception.

So, we need patience to understand what are actually, what is a sustainable attraction and or what is a perishable infatuation. So, this whole propaganda often through the movies, it manipulates people emotionally. And there are multiple, we see in today's world also, there are so many marriages that end divorce.

Divorces are very complicated issue and there are many reasons why divorce can happen. But one of the things is often the relationship originally is not formed on a foundation of commitment. It is not formed with the expectation that I have to commit and I have to sacrifice.

The relationship is formed? Yes. But it is a form of infatuation. So, then that becomes a reason for lot of frustration.

So, now when we come into, I will be concluding part of the class. When we come to Bhakti. Bhakti is centrally an emotion.

But Bhakti is not only an emotion. Bhakti is a whole way of life that develops our refined emotions. Bhakti ultimately is love for Krishna.

But Bhakti is also a culture, Bhakti is also a way of life that helps us develop that love for Krishna. There is, many people have this idea of I fell in love. So, the idea of this sort of usage is that love is spontaneous.

You see someone, love at first sight, fall in love. Yes, okay. There might be that infatuation or attraction and I am not saying that it is not possible that through the initial infatuation there cannot be a sustainable relationship.

But if that relationship is sustainable, what sustains it is not the love at first sight. What sustains it is the commitment of the many sides. So, the point which I am making is that the idea is that love is just something which happens spontaneously.

You see someone and you fall in love. But what Bhakti Yoga tells us is that emotions are not just something that happen. But emotions are something that can be systematically cultivated.

And the whole process of Bhakti Yoga is meant to help us cultivate healthy emotions. So, now we have a vertical relationship with Krishna and we have a horizontal relationship with others. So, now the ideal situation is when both these relationships work symbiotically.

That means our relationship with Krishna, our devotion to Krishna it makes us more self-controlled, more mature, more tolerant, more sensitive and thereby we can relate better with others. And similarly our horizontal relationships if we are having relationship with others who are also devotional inclined, who are also devotional inspired, then seeing them, associating with them, seeing how they are also devoted, how they are also living principled lives that inspires also to become devoted to Krishna. So, the ideal situation is where our vertical relationship strengthens our horizontal relationship and our horizontal relationship strengthens our vertical relationship.

So, for this to happen, there has to be the purification of emotions. Now, Bhakti Yoga, okay, now there is the path of materialism where people think that, oh, if I just make the right arrangements then I'll enjoy. Enjoy means my emotions will be very very joyful.

Now, often emotions, emotions get us into trouble. So, when emotions get us into trouble, there are some people who feel that emotions themselves are the cause of trouble. And such people, they feel all emotions are illusory and therefore we should reject all emotions.

And that is, if you consider a pendulum, one is emotions are the way for life. Just go according to your emotions. That is what is called as Karma Marga.

The other extreme is emotions are the obstacle. Emotions are the trap. Just get rid of all emotions.

That is the pendulum going to the other extreme. That is the Jnana Marga, where all emotions are considered illusion. And everything that stimulates emotion is also considered an illusion.

So, one of the things that most strongly stimulates emotions is form. So, all forms are considered illusion. Even the form of God is considered illusion.

So, the whole idea is this philosophy which is called as impersonalism, where it's considered nobody is a person. That is a reaction. It's a reactionary philosophy which goes to the other extreme after getting burnt by material emotions.

But what Bhakti Yoga tells us is that the problem is not emotions. The problem is the irregulation of emotions. Is that the emotions are unregulated.

And that is the problem. So, Bhakti Yoga tells us that if we direct our emotions towards Krishna and through Krishna we direct it towards others. Those same emotions can become the source of great fulfilment, great satisfaction in our life.

Now, the process of Bhakti Yoga involves doing certain activities that purify our emotions. Purify means that, just like if there is impure water, then we put it to a filter or something and the dirt comes out, where it is left behind and then the clean water comes out. So, like that, within the emotions that are there in our mind, there in our heart, those emotions, there are certain emotions which are impure, which will drag us down.

So, Bhakti Yoga purifies those emotions and the higher, the richer emotions start getting developed more and more. They become stronger. And when we practise Bhakti, there are there are emotions which will inspire us onwards.

By the same time, we also need to use our intelligence. For example, we practise Bhakti, sometimes when we come to the temple, we see the deities, we see, we chant the holiness, we feel, this is so wonderful, I feel so peaceful, I feel so joyful. And other times, we are chanting, we take out the beads and say, are there 108 or 1008 beads? Mala is not getting in this? Mala is not getting over? So, the why did this happen? For this, we need to recognise the nature of the mind.

The mind has sought pleasure in many many different objects. If you look at our own life, we have had so many different habits, so many different hobbies, so many different interests. The mind has sought pleasure in many many different objects.

And over a period of time, none of them have given pleasure. So, because of that, the mind has developed a habit of restlessness. That's why, as soon as the mind comes to some particular thing, it will do it for something, as long as it seems new, as long as it is something, something to explore in.

And after some time, the mind just flickers to something else. And, even when the mind comes to Krishna, now Krishna can offer us the supreme fulfilment. The Lord is the devotion of all qualities, and He is the reservoir of supreme happiness.

But because of the past habit of restlessness of the mind, even when the mind comes to Krishna, initially it's good, but after a while, what next? And, the mind goes on to something else. And because the mind is looking for something else, even when Krishna is there, we feel no tasteful. So, at such times, we have to use our intelligence to stay fixed in Bhakti.

You know, I talked about how Freud said, that there is an ocean of turbulent emotion and a small boat of reason. Now, that is true. That is, in the Gita's language, it is called as Rajoguna and Sattoguna.

Rajoguna is the mode of passion, where there are very wild emotions. And Sattoguna is the mode of goodness, where intelligence is there. So, yes, the influence of Rajoguna is very forceful on us.

And it can shake us up. The mode of passion can just overthrow our intelligence and make us do all wrong things. Krishna says, He says, if the senses focus on a particular object, our intelligence may just get swept away, just as a boat is swept away by the waves in an ocean.

This is 2.67 in the Gita. So, now, the Bhakti culture centres on trying as much as possible to live in the mode of goodness. So, we wake up early in the morning.

We try to have a regulated life. We try to eat regulated food. Although at one level, this may seem to be restriction.

So many rules, don't do this, don't do this, it may seem like deprivation. Where is my freedom? Where is my enjoyment? But, that's a misunderstanding. Because, there are two kinds of freedom.

There is freedom for and there is freedom from. Freedom for means freedom for doing whatever I want to do. That's one kind of freedom.

And freedom from is something which our culture doesn't talk about at all. So, freedom for means somebody may say that I want the freedom to eat whatever I like. I go to this hotel, I like this, I like that.

I want freedom for doing whatever I want. That seems very nice. But, that ends up making us a slave of our time.

We just can't regulate ourselves. Even when we want to do some other works, we go there and eat. There is a devotee doctor telling me that he is an A&T specialist.

So, he told me that he was one day called on emergency from the hospital and he said that some person had eaten chicken. He ate so much chicken, his whole oesophagus up to the neck had got filled. And, he had to bring the scope and he had to actually take out all the chicken for 15 minutes.

So that, they could come to the stomach. Just a few years ago, here in Australia itself. So, what happens is here, the person may think I want freedom to eat as much as I want.

But then, the simple fact of life is we can never enjoy as much as I want. As we want. The body's capacity is limited.

Even if I want to enjoy, my stomach's capacity is limited. Similarly, with respect to all forms of sense gratification, all forms of bitter enjoyment, our capacity itself is limited. So, first is we can never have unlimited freedom.

Never. It's just not possible. Sex is glamorised so much in the movies and the novels.

But the body's capacity to enjoy sex is limited. It's finite. Like a sponge, when you use water and squeeze it, the body gives out some pleasure.

But then, with every squeeze, the sponge's water-emitting capacity decreases. And after that, you squeeze and squeeze and you get just pain. There's no water coming out.

So, like that, the body's capacity to give pleasure is limited. And this is often not depicted at all in the medium. So, then, all that happens is people think, oh, those people in the movies are enjoying so much, I'm not enjoying.

So, probably something is wrong with my sex life. I'll go to a sexologist and then get counselling and read books about how to improve the sex life. It's all based on a fundamental misconception.

Misconception is that we can enjoy unlimitedly at the material level. It's just not possible. Even if there were no cultural restrictions, even if there are no moral restrictions, even if it is a completely free culture, still we will never break free from our body's limitations.

The body will limit our enjoyment. So, freedom for is not possible. Freedom for enjoying as much as we want is just not possible.

But in there's another kind of freedom, that is freedom from. Freedom from is freedom from the desire to enjoy an unlimitedly. Imagine, say, there are two students or two young people.

This is their, they're staying in a some sort of hostel or together in a community place. And this is their work place. Now, along the way, there's a cigarette shop.

Or there's an alcohol shop, whatever. Now, one of the friends has never drunk alcohol. And the other has drunk a few times.

Now, this first friend, because he's never drunk alcohol, the thought will not come in the mind. Just pass by, and just go and do the work. What if the person who has drunk once, twice, thrice, what happens as soon as he passes by the shop? Maybe I should go and take a drink.

Maybe not now, but when I'm coming back, I'll drink. And then, throughout the day, oh, when I go back, I'll drink. And then when the person drinks more, then gradually what happens, it's like, when we become addicted to something, it's like there's an invisible rope between our minds and that object.

And that rope keeps pulling us. So, initially, the thought of that comes only when you pass the shop. But as one becomes attached, when you're coming out of the hostel, only the thought comes, oh, that shop is there.

And then, sometimes, there are some people who are addicted so much that when they wake up first thing, oh, I have to drink. I hope in the long run to write a book on addiction. So, I read about one alcohol addiction story, you know, how he eventually became free, but he said, you know, one night, I just woke up with an irresistible urge to drink.

And it was late midnight, and I just got up and I went out. And I went to my car, and my car just broke down. Then I just, it was golden night, I walked out of the, I walked all the way almost 500 metres, the cold night to go to the nearest alcohol shop.

And then when I went there, the alcohol which I wanted to drink, there are different alcohols also. There's wine and all that. I don't know the names of them.

But whatever, he said, that was not there. So, then I thought, let me go to another shop. And then he started going to another shop which was almost one kilometre away.

Night, cold, walking. And then as he was walking along, suddenly he slipped and fell. And he just, bang, fell on the ground at that time, just lying there looking at the sky.

And suddenly, what am I doing? What am I doing? So, probably all my friends were sleeping peacefully in their beds. Here I am, trembling in the cold, and lying miserably on the ground over here. So, is this really enjoyment? So, we often think, frustration or misery is caused by restriction in our enjoyment.

Somebody doesn't allow me to enjoy, that is what is causing me frustration, that is causing me misery. But often, misery is caused much greater by the domination of the desire to enjoy. When the desire to enjoy dominates us, and makes us run here and there and there and then, that makes us miserable.

So, today's culture makes us think that freedom for is what is important. But, Bhagavad Gita talks about a different kind of freedom. कामः क्रोधस्त थालोगस् तस्मादे तत्र यंते जेत एतै रुमुक्तः कौंतेय तमो द्वारे इस्त्र भेवन रहा आचिरत्यात्मणश्यय सतो याति परांगते Krishna says that last anger and greed there are three gates to hell and he says एतै रुमुक्तः कौंतेय It's not that you restrict yourself from it, it's just become free from them, become liberated from them.

So, freedom for one will never give us any peace. At least when it comes to this gross material function enjoyment, it only causes more and more agitation and addiction. Freedom for, freedom from Freedom from the desire to eat whatever I like whatever passes my mind Freedom from the desire to lust after every woman that I see Freedom from the desire to crave for every gadget that anybody flashes in front of me Actually after this this constant craving that comes up that craving after sometime becomes sickening it just it just sucks our mental energy.

So, when we live a regulated life it may seem like it's deprivation of freedom but actually it is actually it is freedom because it frees us from so many drives that actually don't bring happiness that only cause misery and the temporary relief from that misery we consider as happiness which is not happiness. So, bhakti will actually bring us freedom bhakti will actually help us to experience emotional fulfilment because to experience emotional fulfilment we need the emotions to be pure otherwise we may get some gratification, some temporary deletion of the senses some release of the hormones that we get but there will be no emotional fulfilment at all. Emotional fulfilment comes when we have some capacity to control our emotions as I said all relationships require commitment if we are ruled by our emotions alone then we cannot sustain commitments we cannot sustain relationships, we cannot maintain commitments and then relationships also break apart so the more we commit ourselves to our vertical relationship with Krishna the more our capacity to commit ourselves in our horizontal relationship to us increases because essentially when we commit ourselves to our relationship with Krishna we come more and more to the mode of goodness we gain more and more control over our emotions and then that control enables us to benefit in all our relationships so in that way real emotional fulfilment comes through devotion devotion to Krishna and through that devotion to all our relatives and friends and loved ones in relationship with Krishna I summarise then we can have few questions I started by talking about how Lord Ram tells Lakshman emotions are very good but we should choose those emotions that help us rise upwards that take us along the path of dharma not those which cause us to go downwards away from dharma and then I gave the example of how Bharat was able to control the natural emotion of anger by remembering his upward connection with Ram that this will displace Ram so I will not do it and then I came to contemporary society and discussed how you know based on Freud's insights that people have such strong emotion that reason can be completely overshadowed by that so the advertising industry changed its pitch from how good a product is to how good it will make you feel and such advertisement basically exploits our emotions I talked about that advertisement which is basically insult to both male and female intelligence and then I talked about further even the food, the fast foods how they manipulate us by observing what kind of neuro chemical activity takes place in the brain they fill us with junk food and then I talked about again going back to relationships how the shift from the agriculture to the industrial civilisation it removed the supportive family structure increased the pressure on the marital relationship and further this pressure was hyped up because of the hype in the movie industry and that's why the whole idea that relationships should be formed based on what is called as love but what often turns out to be infatuation what is actually infatuation that relationship is formed based on that then that leads to a lot of frustration so relationships are consistent only with its commitment and commitment means that we are not just driven by our emotions, we have a higher intelligence which makes us persevere even when the emotions are not there and then I came to how bhakti helps us to regulate our emotions by purifying them so our vertical and horizontal relationships can be symbiotic and in bhakti also when we don't feel the emotions that connect us with Krishna that make us feel good in bhakti, at that time we need to understand it's just the mind's default habit of restlessness Krishna is attracting, Krishna is a source of pleasure but the mind is just shifting off because of its many past experiences of objects giving only fleeting pleasure but if we persevere in the process of bhakti gradually we experience higher satisfaction and the connection with Krishna will purify us and the last I talked about when we practise bhakti it may seem that there are so many rules which choke our freedom but there is freedom for and there is freedom from and freedom for doing whatever we want to do, that is never possible even if there are no cultural, social, moral restrictions, still there is a body restriction and then so rather than seeking something which is not possible actually and which ends in entanglement which ends in misery I gave the example of that alcoholic falling on the ground in night, in cold night so misery is caused not by the restriction in desire but by domination by desire so bhakti, the rules and regulations in it they actually give us a different kind of freedom freedom from being enslaved by any and every desire that the culture wants to inject in us, buy this, eat this touch this, watch this and that way we become enslaved but by the practise of bhakti our richer, purer emotions come up and the more we commit ourselves to the practise of bhakti the more not only does our bhakti increase but our mastery over our emotions increases and that can help us become committed in all our relationships.

Thank you very much Are there any questions?