Facing our fears – FEAR acronym

[Hall program at Perth, Australia] Video:

I thank all of you for coming today evening. As I mentioned, I'll speak on the topic of facing our fears. I'll speak using an acronym, F.E.A.R. which will explain various aspects of fear and how we can deal with it.

Let's begin. So, the first thing is, fear is not a bad thing. Fear is actually a natural and essential, desirable response to danger.

Suppose if I'm sitting on this chair or you're sitting on your particular chairs and if there is a sharp nail coming out from the back of the chair. We feel pain and that pain protects our body from injury. It points out to us, hey, there's something wrong.

Then we move to another chair or move a position. So, just as pain protects us from danger at the physical level, similarly, fear protects us from danger. Pain is a physical response to danger and fear is a mental or emotional response to danger.

So, fear is healthy, but fearfulness is unhealthy. Fearfulness means that even when there is no danger, still the fear remains. So, if we look down from a 25-storey building, we feel a little dizzy, we feel a little fearful.

That is good. Sometimes if children are dead, they look down and they don't feel any fear and the parents feel great fear. So, fear is essential.

But suppose we were peering down a 25-storey building earlier, that time we felt a little fear, but then we come back home, we are safely in our home. At that time, show the thoughts. What if I fall from a 25-storey building? What if I fall? That keeps coming.

Then that is fearfulness and that is unhealthy. So, when the stimulus, which is a source of danger, is no longer present, in spite of that, the negative emotion of fear is there, then it becomes unhealthy. So, fear is a false extrapolation from apprehended reality.

Apprehended means perceived. There is a reality that we perceive, but from that we made an extrapolation, which is false. And this kind of fear is what we need to face and we need to overcome.

There was once a woman, she had some pain in the stomach and she went to a doctor and said, Doctor, I have got a frog in my stomach. He said, What? He said, I have got a frog in my stomach. I can feel it moving round and round and round.

He said, No. The doctor said, A frog can't survive in your stomach. He said, No, I can feel it.

He said, Do something. Please remove it. He said, No, there is no frog.

He just walked away in a huff. She went to a second doctor. Second doctor said, There cannot be a frog in your stomach.

Third doctor. Third doctor said, You and her have done some tests. He said, No, there is no frog.

He said, No, you don't understand. I know there is a frog over here. Like that she went to fourth, fifth, sixth.

When she came to tenth doctor, she told the whole story of how she has been to so many doctors before. Then the tenth doctor thought about it. He said, Okay, let me do some tests.

Did some tests. And then he told her, You know, you are right. Actually, there is a frog in your stomach.

Oh, thank you doctor. Thank you. At least at last you understood what has happened.

So then the doctor said that we need to do surgery to remove it. So when can we remove it? He said, Right away. Okay.

The doctor gave her anaesthesia and did some small surgical incisions on her belly. And he told a nurse to go to a nearby pond and get a frog from there. And then when the doctor, when the woman came back to consciousness, he told her, You see, this is the frog we found in your stomach.

This small frog was there. She said, Oh, thank you God, doctor. You have saved my life.

I was profusely grateful. And she went back. And the whole medical staff thought this was a very clever solution.

And she is also relieved. Now she won't come back. But after one week she came running back, frantic.

Says, Doctor, doctor, the frog had babies. And the babies are there in my stomach. Please remove them.

So, you know what has happened? There is some discomfort in the stomach, which is a reality. But from that there is a false extrapolation that is made. And that is what leads to fearfulness.

Go ahead. So, we can have broadly two approaches to fear. One is where we see that this can be called as fight or flight.

That, oh, this danger has come, this trouble has come. Just forget everything and run away. Or we can have other responses.

Oh, this danger has come. I will catch hold of it. I will do it.

In the animal world, these are the two broad responses that are there. Fight or flight. If a deer is grazing and the deer feels there is a predator, like a tiger coming from behind.

As soon as it senses that, it means it starts running. If there is a tiger and that tiger feels another tiger has come in my territory. Then the tiger may turn around and fight.

So, we human beings often have these two responses when we face fear. And quite often, neither of these responses are healthy. Because when we fight or when we choose flight, in both these situations, we are actually letting ourselves be controlled by our impulses, not our intelligence.

And in both cases, we do not perceive the reality properly. So, to understand how we can effectively deal with fear, we will try to understand where fear originates from. Where fear resides within us and how it manifests within us.

For that, I will use, based on the Bhagavad Gita, a three-level model of the self. The Bhagavad Gita explains that our present existence is three-dimensional. There is body, mind and soul.

These can be understood by comparison to a computer system, where the body is like the hardware, the mind is like the software, and the soul is the user. Sometimes, we may have a brand new, high-end device. It looks shiny and attractive, but if it is corrupted by some virus, at the level of the software, then that device becomes dysfunctional.

Similarly, our mind can become contaminated by different negative emotions. And then, a person may be young, healthy, well-built, safe, but still when the mind becomes fearful, it can't do anything. We become paralysed at that time.

So, the body is fine, but the mind is corrupted with fear. Go ahead. So, that is a virus that corrupts the software of the mind, and this is something like a security alarm that has gone wrong.

So, I was in America, in Arizona, at one devotee's place, and we had gone for a programme, and now many of the houses, they have high-end security. So, if somebody breaks into your house, and wherever you are, if somebody tries to open the lock, then you get a notification on their phone. And not only the people get the notification on their phone, if they are not in their house, depending on how vigilant or how much of a welfare state it is, the notification even goes to the police.

There is a break-in happening over here. So, we were in the programme, and at that time, this devotee got a notification on their phone that there was a break-in. And then they just rushed from the programme and went back, and by the time they reached there, the police had also reached there, and they found there was nothing there.

And it was not just their houses, the police, they said in the last one hour, they had got 25 alarms like that. So, apparently, somebody who wanted to play a prank, it was Halloween day at that time, so, somebody wanted to play a prank, and they had found out how to hack the security software. So, all over there, people had gone out for Halloween to pray, just to have fun, and then, the software got hacked, and they all got alarms.

And when they would actually open the door, then for the software, a sound would come. In Halloween, when children come there, how they say? Trick or treat. So, the security alarm would give trick or treat.

So, here what had happened, this is a harmless prank, but this is an example of how when a software gets corrupted, there is no danger, but a danger sign is triggered. Danger alert is sent. So, like that, when we become fearful, at that time, even in the absence of danger, fear is triggered.

And this is a huge problem in today's world. Anxiety and anxiety related disorders are among the biggest problems in today's world. The sheer nature of the problem is such that millions and millions of people all over the world, who are otherwise normal, get overcome by fear.

And anxiety is something that has assumed epidemic proportions. Psychologists talk about an anxiety epidemic that is overcoming the world today. So, paradoxically, this anxiety is not so much due to physical danger.

It's not that how many of us, in our routine lives, we are afraid that a tiger may bounce on me and eat me up, or some snake may come and bite me. Those are not our fears. We have many different fears, which arise from various situations.

So, I'll talk about how to address fear at two levels. One is the circumstantial fears and then there is an existential fear. Let's move forward.

So, this is an acronym which will talk about the solution. While dealing with fear, focus, engage, arise and release. So, focus and engage will be more at practical levels.

And that is when we deal with circumstantial fear. And then the last part, arise and release will be for existential fear. Let's move ahead.

Focus. Usually, whenever we face fear, basically, the mind goes on an overdrive. It starts imagining, this may happen, that may happen, that may happen, that may happen.

So, the best way to deal with fear is to focus on the present. How does this affect me right now? Suppose I go to job one day and suddenly get the pink slip, fired. I imagine, oh, how will I pay the mortgage of my house? If I can't pay, then I'll be on the streets.

If I'm on the streets, how will I take care of my family? Oh, I may be deported from the country. What will I do? How will I show face at home? The mind may go on a hyper drive. So, to bring it back to the present.

How does this affect me right now? The key is right now. The problems of today are always manageable today. But, when our mind is corrupted by the virus of fear, then that corrupted mind piles on top of the problems of today the problems of yesterday and the problems of tomorrow.

And, when all this gets piled up, life becomes unbearable. If a porter has to carry, say, a 10 kg or a 20 kg or a 30 kg bag, he can carry it. But, if somebody piles five 30 kg bags on top of the porter, and this porter is not dragging it, it's carrying on the head, then the porter will get crushed.

So, similarly, the problems, when our mind piles, one problem is there, this problem, that problem, that problem. And, then, when our mind, whenever there's a danger, often it sets off a chain reaction of thoughts within us. And, that chain reaction leads from fear to fearfulness to panic.

And, we get overwhelmed. So, the way to get back some sense of control is to pull back to the reality. How does this affect me right now? So, this, when we do, we get a sense of perspective.

This is the immediate challenge that I have. Quite often, for people, there are emergency situations or when danger comes up. And, that time, we may go into excessive anxiety.

But, other times, most of the time, we become fearful during our leisure time. When we are doing our work, whether it is work at home, whether it is work in office, driving, we are engaged. But, when we have nothing to do, that is the time when we think we'll enjoy.

But, during our leisure time, our mind works overtime. During our leisure time, our mind works overtime. Oh, this will go wrong, that will go wrong, that will go wrong.

And, this way, we just become overwhelmed. So, we human beings have two broad faculties with which we interact with the world. The Gita wisdom tradition refers to them as the Gyan Indriyas and the Karma Indriyas.

Gyan Indriya, Indriya is senses, Gyan is knowledge. So, we perceive the world and take in information from the world. That is done through the Gyan Indriyas.

So, for example, through the eyes, you are right now looking, through the ears, you are hearing. So, this is, you are taking in information through the Gyan Indriyas. And, then, we interact with the world also by acting.

And, we act, say, if there is some danger somewhere, if we hear that a loud one has met with an accident, immediately, we will rush into our car and drive our car to the hospital, wherever they are. So, that is, we do with the Karma Indriyas. Karma Indriya is the senses with which we do action.

We do action. So, hands, legs, voice, like that. So, the first part is to focus.

Okay, what is the situation right now? If the mind is imagining here, imagining there, focus the Gyan Indriyas. How does this affect me right now? The second part is engage. Engage means that we focus on the Karma Indriyas.

What can I do right now? What can I do right now? In every situation that we face, there is something in our control and something which is beyond our control. And when we become fearful, at that time, our mind gets caught up in all the things that are not in our control. And because the things are not in our control, we feel more and more powerless as we contemplate those things.

And thus we become more and more paranoid, paralysed. So, what can I do right now? When, say we are driving a car and suddenly we find that the car's wheel has come off. And we are on the road and suddenly what are we going to do now? Oh, this car may spin off the road, somebody may hit the car from behind and the car pile up.

We can go on imagination. So now, what we need to do is immediately, okay, what can I do right now? The wheel has come off, let me pull the car off the road. Which side there is less traffic? Let's go off that side.

If there is some grass on the other side, let me go over there. So in every situation, when we focus on that which is in our control, then that enables us to take some tangible actions. When the virus of fear has corrupted our mind, the worst thing that we can do is to live inside the mind.

Because the more we live inside the mind, the more the mind starts broadcasting its horror movie. And in this horror movie which the mind is broadcasting, we are not the spectators, we are the victims. So, when that horror movie is going on, at that time, we just have to turn our eyes off.

Okay, what happens in the future, we'll see. What can I do right now? So, engage. And quite often, just calming ourselves down, taking a few deep breaths, speaking out, our concerns to someone, praying to Krishna, chanting His holy names, these just get us out of the chain of thoughts on which our mind is being propelled.

And when we do that, we just break that chain of thoughts. If we let ourselves get carried by that chain of thoughts, we will be overwhelmed. So these two points which we are talking about, focus and engage, are about breaking the chain of thoughts which takes us from fear to fearfulness, from anxiety to paranoia.

We need to break that chain as soon as possible. And sometimes, something even simple can deal with this. Once a person went to a psychologist and he said that I have a great fear of when I'm sleeping on a bed and there's someone under my bed and that person will attack me and will kill me.

So the psychologist told him, I can treat you, it will take time, it will come thrice a week to me and you come for three months, I'll help you deal with the fear. Okay. And how much will be the charge? Just $200 per session.

Okay. He said, I'll think about it. And then after a few months, the psychologist met him in a mall.

He said, how are you? He said, I'm fine. He said, how is your fear? He said, I dealt with it. In fact, all the money that I would have spent on psychologist, I saved it all because I dealt with my fear.

And now I bought a new car. Oh, really? How did you deal with the fear? He said, you know, I met a friend who was, who's a very wise person and he told me there's a simple solution. What is it? He says, sell your bed and sleep on the floor.

So sometimes, some fears, when the mind is imagining too much, now I've given two examples which work in two different ways. The first example I gave of the frog in the belly, where the mind's imagination does not stop. And in some cases, we just deal with something practical, the mind's imagination stops.

When the mind is fearful, there is no formula for dealing with the mind. We have to see what works. Sometimes, when a small baby starts crying, the mother, the mother cannot have one formula by which she'll make the baby peaceful.

The mother has to see whatever works. So the mind is like a baby. When the mind starts crying with fear, unfortunately, instead of recognising the mind is like a baby crying with fear, suppose the baby is crying, and then the mother also starts crying.

Hey, what is going on? You shouldn't cry. No, no, the baby is crying. You are meant to pacify the baby.

No, the mother also starts crying. So like that, when our mind becomes fearful, we also become fearful. But we are meant to manage the fear.

So this is when there are circumstantial fears, that there is something uncertain, something dangerous, which is happening in our life, which causes some fear to us. Curiously, however, that many of our fears are not dealt simply by being addressed at a circumstantial level. If we consider, the world can be broadly divided into first world countries and third world countries.

Now, in the third world countries, say, India is moving from third world to first world, not much of India is in third world countries. In third world countries, actually there is far more reason for anxiety than the first world countries. In many parts of India, if you go and press a power button, there is no guarantee that light will turn on.

If you turn on a tap, there is no guarantee water will come. So, many times, things do not work. So, normally, if we consider that, some things are in my control, some things are not in my control.

So, one way we can deal with fear is, trying to get more and more in our control. And we can speak, see, relatively speaking, that in the first world countries, we have got the technology and the social arrangement, by which we have many more things in our control than what we have in the third world. And yet, despite there being more external control in the third world countries, in the first world countries as compared to the third world countries, still there is greater anxiety in the first world countries.

Not only that, actually as people move from third world countries to first world countries, although their prosperity increases, although the technology available to them becomes better, but anxiety doesn't go down. Anxiety goes up. Why is this? To address this fear, we have to recognise that there can be circumstantial fear, which arises because of the circumstances.

And it needs to be addressed at that level. But there is a much more fundamental fear, that is existential fear. Existential fear means that, does my existence count at all? In today's world, we get the news updates and breaking news from all over the world.

And we keep hearing, there is a terrorist attack over here, there is a car crash over there, there is a plane crash over there, there is an earthquake over there, there is a hurricane over there. And in that way, we get the news of disaster and distress and death from all over the world. And this raises a fundamental question, which we may or may not consciously speak out.

That question is, does my existence really matter? No. One bug or one bang can just end our life. Casually, nonchalantly, we consider our life to be very meaningful.

And when we have to make some decisions, say career decisions, should I do this, should I do that? If we have to marry, should I marry this person or that person? We take these decisions very seriously. Within life, we take decisions seriously. But life itself can be ended casually.

Just one person who is crazy, who has, in America, he has guns, some guns, and he goes out and shoots people. And so many people die. So this raises a question, does our existence count at all? And in this existential anxiety, we try to cope with it, we try to overcome it by holding on to something or the other.

So in the threat of our existence going off into non-existence, and faced with that threat, we try to hold on to something which gives us some security. So for some of us, it may be our bank balance. Some of us, it may be our family.

For some of us, it may be our physique, our health. For some of us, it may be our job. Some of us, it may be our position in society as an influential person, as a famous person.

We hold on to these things, and through these, we try to get a sense of identity and a sense of security. And, tragically however, the very things that we seek to get security through, often those very things causes anxiety. If I seek security through my bank balance, yes, that is, money is a necessity for life, and money does provide some security.

But, in today's volatile economic situation, sometimes the currency may depreciate, the stock market may crash, and then, if our security is coming from money, and suddenly we lose the money, then it is not just a loss of money, it becomes a loss of identity. It becomes the loss of the very basis of our existence. That is unbearable.

One of the greatest insecurities, greatest causes of fear, is the fear that comes from relationships. Now, I gave a talk in an American university a few months ago in Ohio. So, there I was talking about a similar topic.

What we can learn from our fears. So, I was quoting a survey from an American university. What are the top fears of people? Generally, people's fears are similar throughout the centuries.

But, in the last century, two fears have been added. One is the fear of terrorists, and the other is the fear of rejection. Somebody wants to form a relationship and they get rejected.

It just becomes unbearable. Because, it is not just that they are feeling that, oh, this relationship didn't work out. Because, their sense of identity and security comes from that.

It becomes overwhelming. So, existential anxiety cannot be dealt with by circumstantial security. If my basic sense of identity and self-worth is not secure, no matter how many locks I may have to my house, no matter how many bank accounts I may have with good bank balance in them, no matter how many contacts I have with influential people, none of these will actually alleviate the anxiety at the existential level.

For alleviating that anxiety, we need to go beyond making circumstantial arrangements to asking existential questions. What is the purpose of my life? What is life? Who am I? Without seeking the answers to these questions and without finding answers to these questions, we will not be able to address fear at a deeper level. Yes, definitely, by gaining more money, by having a better social position, we get some security.

But this security is like a painkiller. It is not a curative medicine. When we are taking the painkiller, as long as the painkiller is being taken, we feel freedom from pain.

As soon as the painkiller stops, immediately the pain comes back. And then it comes back worse because the disease internally is worsening. Similarly, the more external arrangements we make for security, if that is the only thing we are doing, then that is like taking more and more painkillers.

We will feel some relief, but it will not be lasting relief. And as soon as that arrangement seems to be disrupted, our fear will not only come back, it will become disproportionate. Some people say they lose their money.

Anybody who loses money will be disturbed. But some people, when they lose their money, they are not just disturbed, they are devastated. Some people, when their relationship breaks up, they are shattered.

Others are not so disturbed. The reason why some people may get shattered or devastated is because that particular object was the source of their identity, their security. And when that gets shaken, then there is nothing practically that can be done for them to gain security.

When I was in New York, I passed by, I was going for a programme, I passed by the Twin Towers. They had made a memorial where the Twin Towers had crashed. So when the Twin Towers fell, it was not just the collapse of a building.

It was the collapse of what the Twin Towers represented. It represented prosperity, power, prestige, and most importantly, security. We have made all these arrangements, and thus we are secure.

And within just a few hours, they crumbled. Without going into the specifics of how or why they crumbled, the key thing is that created a permanent scar on the American psyche. Because that was not just the crashing of a building.

Similarly for us, when we find that something triggers too much fear within us, then that indicates that we are getting our sense of identity and security from that thing. And that's why this is causing such disproportionate fear. And how do we deal with that? Let's move forward.

The last two parts. Now we'll talk about dealing with existential fears. First is Arise.

Arise means rise to a higher level of consciousness. Rise till we understand our indestructible spiritual side. The Bhagavad Gita explains that at our core, we are spiritual beings.

That we are indestructible. Now someone will say, this is just your belief. How do I really know? Yes, that's a valid question.

All of us have a longing to live forever and to love forever. There are millions of novels, millions of movies, which come up over the decades and centuries. And most of them are about romance.

And romance, most of them feature H.E.A. Happily Ever After. Now if you look at life objectively, nobody lives forever. And yet everybody longs for happily ever after.

Why is that? That's because it's an innate longing within us. Now where does this longing come from? Everything around us is temporary. Even the biggest mountains.

I believe Perth is on a mountain. Which is the mountain over here? Or a hill? Any hill in this area, Australian area? Kalamunda mountain, okay. This is a major mountain range in Australia.

Darling Range, thank you. So now, those mountains can look impossible. Imposing, huge.

But even those mountains are not forever. They are going to be there for some time, they will be destroyed. So if nothing in the world around us exists forever, where does our longing to exist forever come from? Our desires have to be stimulated from somewhere.

If in a remote African tribe, that has no connection with the rest of the world, say, a child goes to his mother and says, Mummy, I want a pizza. Where did you hear about a pizza? The mother will ask. There is nothing in the child's circumstances that the child will come to know about a pizza.

Similarly for us, if we were simply material creatures, there is nothing in the world of matter that lasts forever. So why would we even have a desire to live forever, to love forever? That desire does not come from our circumstance. It comes from our core.

At our core, we are souls, we are atma. And an atma is avinashita tad viddhi, is indestructible. So just understanding that all the dangers which may cause fear within us, none of those dangers can actually destroy our core.

They can affect our periphery, they can affect our body, they can affect our mind, but we at our core are indestructible. Understanding this itself gives some relief. Beyond that, spiritual knowledge helps us understand that the world is actually not operating by chance.

There is a plan, there is a purpose, there is a controller. So there is a supreme spiritual being who is in control of everything. And this again is not just a matter of belief.

Science operates on the principle that things do not happen by chance. That things operate according to certain laws. Now where do those laws, the law of gravity, law of thermodynamics, law of fluid mechanics, whatever laws are there, where do these laws come from? They actually come from a transcendental intelligence.

There is a supreme being who controls everything. And normally in a materialistic worldview, we have two options, things are in my control or things are out of my control. But when we understand, when we understand a spiritual worldview, we understand that things which are out of my control are not out of control.

They are in God's control. God is known by different names and different traditions. The Bhagavad Gita knows him by the name Krishna.

So when we understand this, this also helps us deal with fear. I was in America, I was in Florida at that time, one of the biggest hurricanes in the history of America, Irma, it came and hit Florida, devastated much of Florida. So at that time, a devotee was telling me that they were staying in a house, they had just come for an outing, and they were staying in, they had taken like a retreat house, and they were staying there, and they could see the water rising, rising, rising, rising.

They didn't know what to do. They couldn't go out. The internet had broken down, nobody was visible for security.

They were just panicking, they could see the water rising, rising. And suddenly, one of them just went, and behind the cupboard, there was a staircase, and it led to the attic. They just went to the attic, and they stayed there.

The water rose, rose, rose, up to a particular level, and it came down, down, down. And just by being in the attic, at a higher level, they were protected. That's why our existence has the material level and the spiritual level.

So when danger, the flood of danger comes in our life, that causes panic. How do we deal with this flood? It's impossible to deal with. It will inundate me, it will drown me.

But when we understand our spiritual side, we understand that, okay, I can rise to a higher level. I can connect with Krishna. To raise our consciousness to a higher spiritual level is through mantra chanting.

Mantras are empowered sound vibrations that act as elevators for our consciousness. We chant the Hare Krishna mantra. Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare, Hare Ram, Hare Ram, Ram Ram, Hare Hare.

So this is not just some utterance of some sound, but when we enter into meditation using the sound vibration as the tool for meditation, then that becomes like an elevator which raises our consciousness upwards. And even amidst fear, we get relief. The flood water is still coming, but by being at the attic, we get safety.

Like that our consciousness gets raised upwards. When we understand and experience our spiritual side, then we can be concerned. Yes, the water is coming, I am concerned, but I am not disturbed because I don't feel personally threatened.

I am secure in my spirituality. Last line. And we have release.

Release means that in every situation we face, there are things which are not in our control and we need to just let go of them. Okay. I have given my exam.

Will I pass this exam? I have given this interview. Will I clear the interview? I don't know. Now, if I keep trying to hold on to things that are not in my control, I disempower myself.

Letting go may seem like weak. How can I let go? This is so important for me. It enables us to hold on to things that are not in our control.

So letting go is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of strength. How can we let go? By knowing that we let go to let God take control.

He is in charge and will take care. In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says in 18.58 मचित्तः सर्वधर्गानि मत्प्रसादातरिश्यसी If you become conscious of me, you will pass over all obstacles by my grace. Just let go.

When we say, how can I let go of things? Actually, when we hold on to things, essentially what happens is those things hold on to our thoughts and they take our thoughts on a, not a joy ride, but a horror ride. Where we get paranoid. Just let go.

We let go to take control of our thoughts and focus those thoughts on Krishna. Krishna, I want to serve you. I am your servant.

Please, you take care of me. Please, you guide me how I can serve you. So devotion has these two aspects.

There is diligence and there is dependence. For the things that are in our control, there is diligence. We will do everything as well as we can.

And for the things that are not in our control, there is dependence. Krishna, you take care of these. Those things, I will leave them to you.

When I started speaking in public for the first time about 25 years ago, a devotee mentor gave me some guidelines. And the last, the printout was there. And the last guideline in the printout was depend on Krishna.

Depend on Krishna. But in bracket was, but only after you have prepared. So what this means is, when we let go, that is not irresponsibility.

But let go is, you can say, let go is smart responsibility. I understand what is in my power. So if I am going to give a class, I am going to prepare.

And that preparation is my diligence. But after I prepare for the class, and exactly what all I will remember at that time, or after the class, what kind of questions people will ask, that is not in my control. So for that there is dependence.

So now I am going to finish the diligence part. Now I am going to go to the dependent part. So, if we learn to have these overall attitude towards fear, we can correct, we can change, or we can remove the virus that has corrupted our mind.

And then there will be dangers in life, and we will need to face those dangers. But we won't be overwhelmed by fear. Rather we will be able to face the fear, and we will be able to, by focussing on that which is in our control, overcome that fear.

So I will summarise what I spoke today. I spoke, starting by differentiating between fear and fearfulness. Fear is a natural and necessary response to danger, it protects.

But fearfulness is, even when danger is not present, the mind keeps repeating the possibility of danger. So it is false extrapolation from apprehended reality. So I gave the example of the woman imagining that there is a frog in her belly.

So there was no frog, and even it was removed, still she felt that all the babies are there. So this is indicative of a corruption in the software of the mind. The body is like the hardware, the mind like the software, the soul, the user.

Just as when the software is corrupted, then the security software may give a false alert. Like that, the corrupted mind gives false alerts. Hey, this will go wrong, that will go wrong.

So how do we deal with that? The normal default responses are fight or flight. But they are not healthy for us. We need to be intelligent in responding.

I talked about acronym. Does anyone remember what was F-E-A-R? F was? Focus, yeah. How does this affect me right now? During our leisure time, the mind works overtime.

So rather than letting it ride away on its imagination per drive, come to the present. And the problems of today are never too much for today. So only when the problems of tomorrow and yesterday are piled up, they become unbearable.

E was? Engage. What can I do right now? Our knowledge acquiring senses and our working senses. And in every situation, there is something in our control.

It wouldn't be something as simple as calming our breath. Or if I have an exam tomorrow, opening my book and study. So what can I do right now? And these two steps can help us to effectively deal with circumstantial anxieties.

When from a circumstance, some fear has come. But sometimes, some change of circumstances may trigger excessive fear. And just doing focus and engage may not deal with it.

That's because we have wedded our sense of identity and security to a particular circumstance. And the deepest fear is the fear that our life doesn't count. That we live and we die and it's all over.

And that termination can come casually at any moment. So the meaninglessness of life is what causes existential anxiety. And to deal with that, we need to arise.

We understand that we are at our core eternal spiritual beings. Just as an African child gets a desire for pizza, the question will come, where did the knowledge for that desire come from? Similarly, we live in a world where everything is temporary. Where does our desire for life eternal come from? It's not from our circumstances, it's from our core which is spiritual.

And another aspect of raising our consciousness is to understand that there is a supreme controller. Science discovers the laws of nature, but who put those laws in place? That's a supreme controller. And that supreme controller has a plan by which everything will be eventually working out for our good.

So, by understanding the spiritual side, we rise, if there is a flood, we rise to an attic, don't feel so disturbed. So I guess the problem is there, but when we raise our consciousness by chanting mantras and by practising yoga, we don't feel disturbed. And lastly, release.

Let go of the things that are not in our control. And by doing this, we catch hold of our thoughts and thus we can keep ourselves calm and move forward to deal with the issue. So for the things that are in our control, we are diligent.

For those which are not in our control, we are dependent on the supreme. And in this way, this is our way. We can deal with it with composure and clarity and emerge through it stronger.

Thank you very much. Great. So do we have any questions or comments? So you can either ask directly through the mic, you can write chats, or you can send WhatsApp, whatever way you prefer.

Yeah, okay. With all of those things you've been talking about, we can still, when we've tested our fear, we can still become stubborn-minded and in a state of confusion when it doesn't work, we might, like the Ganges River, maybe flow through and cover the whole thing. The mind can come in and just wipe out all the conscious Yeah.

So if the fear comes like a forceful river and sweeps away whatever we have learned, whatever we have practised, what to do at that time? Yeah. There are times when we can be overwhelmed. If we have been fearful for a long time, then that repeated fearful thinking has become like a habit of the mind.

So if, say the flower over here, if the flower is inclined like this, then as soon as water falls on the flower, the water will immediately flow in this direction. Even if I don't want it to flow, my intention will not change the flow. So similarly, sometimes as soon as some problem comes up even a shadow of a problem comes up, our mind goes down the track of fear.

Our consciousness gets inclined and flows towards fearful scenarios. So in such situations, if I don't want the water to flow this way, I have to do three things. First is we could say redirection.

Forcibly push the water in that direction. Second is restriction. Create a wall by which the water doesn't flow in that direction.

And third is reconstruction. I change the flower's orientation so that it is inclined this way. So what we need to do with respect to fear is that when the mind starts getting paranoid in this particular way, we have to find something which will push our thoughts in another direction.

So for some of us, we may be more emotional, some of us may be more rational. Especially those of us who become more fearful, we often tend to be more emotional. So if we can find some emotional channel by which we can direct our thoughts towards Krishna.

For some of us, it may just be hearing some kirtan. It may just hear some sweet kirtan and not just hear, repeat it. Even if nothing makes sense, just repeat it.

Or we may look at a beautiful picture of Krishna and pray to Krishna. If you are not able to pray, just have a picture of Krishna and have some prayer written below that and just repeat that. Initially it will not have an effect, but it will slowly but surely.

We need to create the water flowing in this direction, somehow push the water in the other direction. So this redirection, how to apply it? We have to ourselves find out what is it that connects our consciousness towards something constructive. When we find that and when we use that, then our consciousness starts moving upwards.

The second is restriction. Restriction means, in the case of fear, we can have someone with whom we can talk who brings us back to reality. See, when the mind goes off in negative fantasy, we have to distract it by bringing it back to reality.

So if we have even one person with whom we can talk, when we are fearful, and they know, they understand, why are you so afraid? No, not like that. They understand our nature, but then they help us to understand our nature. There are two different things over here.

They understand that our mind is corrupted by the fearfulness. So if somebody is very fearful, if you just tell them, don't worry. How can I not worry? I am worried.

It doesn't work. They understand us. But at the same time, when the mind is worried, just like I gave the example, if a baby is crying, and mother calls somebody, some friend, just silence the baby.

That is the problem, I can't silence. So understand, the baby is crying. So then somebody who understands our mind and helps us to understand our mind.

So that association with one friend like that can ground us back to reality. So our emotion, we normally think of it in two terms. Either we express our emotion or we repress our emotion.

If I have fear, I repress it. Or I just hide it under it and appear as if nothing has happened. That's repressing.

But we can go beyond expressing and repressing our emotions to processing our emotions. What exactly is causing us fear? What are the possible scenarios? How can I deal with them? If we can have someone with whom we talk, then they can act as a restriction. They bring us back to reality.

And if we keep practising bhakti diligently, by that practise of bhakti, by chanting the holy names, by worshipping the deities, by doing our puja, by doing our seva, all this gradually makes our mind attached to Krishna. That means the inclination of our consciousness then becomes towards Krishna instead of being towards danger and panic. Thereafter, whenever there is any danger, instead of the mind going on a panic attack, the mind will immediately go towards Krishna.

We will take shelter of Krishna and therein we will get security. So by redirection, restriction and reconstruction, we can combat fears. Thank you.

I think the same question. When the mind goes to a state where it freezes, we have to find out some channel to activate it positively. So I have been discouraged by people close to me that whatever I do, nothing works out.

And because of that I feel what is the point of my life. So how do I deal with this? Yes. There are some people who bring out our higher side.

And there are some people who bring out our lower side. And if we are associating with people who are constantly discouraging us, then to stay encouraged is extremely difficult. So that doesn't mean we have to break the relationship.

But it doesn't really mean that we have to create some distance. That rather than looking at ourselves from the mirror that the world holds in front of us or some people in the world hold in front of us, we have to find out people who are positive. Even one person who is positive.

Without that positive association we will be overwhelmed by discouragement. And if you study the Bhagavad Gita, the Bhagavad Gita reveals to us that God, Krishna always has a positive perception about us. That He never abandons us.

No matter whatever wrongs we do, He's always with us to help us deal with whatever situations come in our life. So by trying to connect with Krishna, we will be able to gain inner strength. At the start of the Bhagavad Gita, Arjuna was so discouraged that he gave up his bow and arrow and said, I can't fight.

This is, if you want to give an example today from today's context, say there was a World Cup final between India and Pakistan. And then there's a batsman who goes out, opening batsman to bat and just as he's about to take the strike, the batsman gets panicked and says, I can't play. Come on, don't be a chicken like this.

Arjuna became so fearful at that time. He was so discouraged. But then Krishna spoke the message.

And what happened, that same Arjuna in discouragement, he picked up his bow at the end of the Bhagavad Gita and was ready to fight. So Arjuna's bow represents our determination. Many times in life, distressing, devastating situations may come which can dishearten us.

We put aside our bow in rejection. But if we hear the message of the Bhagavad Gita, if we understand that message, understand Krishna's enduring, unfeeling love for us, knowing that his guidance is there for us to be empowered by, if we just connect with him. And if we base our sense of identity on our relationship with Krishna, the world may reject me.

But still, I am a part of Krishna. And he still cares for me. Both externally, by finding positive association and internally by cultivating a devotional awareness of Krishna's love for us, we can overcome this self-doubt and move from self-doubt towards self-actualisation, towards self-discovery, towards understanding and then utilising whatever God-given gifts we have.

Thank you. If our fear is associated with a particular person from our past, as long as that person is not there, then we are, what was that? As long as that person is not there, we are peaceful. But as long as that person, as soon as that person comes back in our life, our peace goes away.

What to do? Yes. He said that some people bring, bring happiness where they go. And some people bring happiness where they go.

So what do we do in such a time? Yeah. If some people cause anxiety, cause fear, cause anger, then we need to do three things. See, in every relationship, there is the other person, there is, I am there, the other person is there and the interaction is there.

So we can't control what the other person is going to do. Sometimes the person is physically abusive, and we may get some restraining order so that the person doesn't come close. But if that person is just causing irritation and anger, then that may not work.

So we have to begin from inside out that, okay, I am getting irritated because of this person. What, basically whenever there is fear, the fear is an indicator of something important. If somebody, say, I lost a pen and a very fearful, oh, I lost my pen, I lost my pen.

Okay, pen, what is so big deal? Say, oh no, no, that was the last gift that my mother gave to me before she departed. Okay, that's why you are so concerned about it. So fear basically indicates that whatever is causing the fear is something important for us.

So we have to look within and see why is this person's presence or return in my life causing me so much fear? What is it that is so important? Is it that this person is causing me so much danger? Or is it that somehow I have associated my sense of self-identity and self-worth based on what that person thinks about me? So we have to find out and address that inner issue. So this is what becomes much more easily possible when we are rooted in our spiritual identity. Bhakti is not just about coming to a temple or satsang or hearing some katha.

It is about changing our self-identity. When I understand that, okay, whatever anyone may do, I am secure internally. So my defining identity is that I am a part of Krishna.

So we work internally to deal with that first of all. Then in the level of interaction, if at all we have to interact with that person, we just keep it as short as possible. Like sometimes if we are going by a road on which there are potholes and that is just the road we have to go by.

And what can we do? There is no point in cursing the potholes. We try to navigate in such a way that we hit the least number of potholes. But we just pass by it.

Sometimes we just toughen ourselves internally. Okay, this person is like this. The interactions are going to be a little difficult.

But just toughen ourselves. Minimise the interaction and toughen ourselves during the interaction. And then it just passes off.

Some people, they strengthen us by encouraging us. Some people tell me, you go and do a workout and you lift weights, you become stronger. Some people strengthen us like that.

Some people strengthen us by beating us. They beat us and by that our body becomes more resistant. It becomes stronger.

Now lifting weights is a much more less intrusive way of becoming stronger. But we can see that even if these tough interactions are there with some person, rather than letting that person control that interaction entirely, we see that this is something which can toughen me. And we go through it, keep it as short as possible, anticipate it, prepare for it.

And lastly, with respect to that person, quite often, aggression is simply concealed insecurity. That means when a person is hurting us too much, it is because they themselves are hurt because of something. And because they are insecure, they are aggressive.

So rather than seeing that oh this person is so dangerous, this person is so fearful, it's their own insecurity speaking. Most of the times when people do something with us, it is much less about us and it is much more about them. That means what? In every person's mind, a movie is going on.

And in that movie, they are the hero. And everyone else is an extra. Everyone else is simply an extra.

Some extras are more important, some extras are less important. Suppose I am watching a movie and in that movie I am seeing a hero beating a villain. Come on, beat him.

Now somebody else must say, what are you doing? So most of the times, when people are angry with us, their anger is not about us. They are fighting some villains in the movie of their mind. And we just happen to be triggers between the attack.

So such people, even if they do some things, don't take it too personally. It is their issue and they will have to deal with it. So we create a safe distance.

It is when we take people's actions too personally. Now people who are insecure, some people, some people who are insecure get a sense of control by causing fear in others, by creating trouble to others. So if we just develop a thick skin and don't let ourselves get troubled, they will say, I am doing so much, this person is not affected only.

Then they will find some other softer target. So we don't, even if some person is troubling us, don't take it too personally. Because even if we are the triggers, we are not the cause.

So it is between them and let them deal with it. So by cultivating inner strength, by minimising the interaction and by not taking their actions personally, we can minimise the fear that may come from such troublemakers. How can we become dependent on Krishna when we feel like we have been let down by him in the past? Yes.

When we feel that Krishna has let us down, the problem often is that we have defined the terms of the relationship in our terms. So when we go to God, say Krishna, let's form a relationship. The terms of the relationship is, I have this problem, I can't solve it, but you are strong enough to solve this.

So the term is my intelligence and your strength. And let's solve this problem. Now, Krishna is not just stronger than us, he is also wiser than us.

So if we half trust Krishna, I trust your strength, but not your intelligence. We work accordingly. Then Krishna doesn't work like that.

Everybody likes to serve God. Is that true? Everybody likes to serve God? You may say no, but yes. Everybody likes to serve God as an advisor.

Even atheists who don't believe in God, they also like to advise. If God had existed, he would have made this plant like this. He would have made this organ like this.

He would have done like that. So their non-existent God pops into existence whenever they want to give advice to him, accepts their advice gratefully and then pops back into non-existence. So, rather than thinking that Krishna has let us down, we have to know that Krishna works according to his plan.

So if we make our relationship with Krishna conditional to the fulfilment of a particular prayer in a particular way, then we will find that we will be frustrated. But if you just pray to Krishna, Krishna, with my intelligence, this is the problem and this I feel is the solution, but you know best, please guide me so that I can go through this situation. Please give me the strength to serve you.

If you have this understanding, then whatever comes in our life, we will be able to go through it. We feel sometimes that Krishna has let us down because our frame of reference and Krishna's frame of reference are different. We look at the present and plan for the future.

Krishna looks at the future and plans for the present. So a child who has got some pain in the stomach goes to a doctor and thinks the doctor will give something for my pain to go away. But the doctor takes out an injection.

Hey, what is this? You are increasing my pain. But now the doctor sees the future. This infection can become worse.

So let me give you this medicine now. I was in Florida, in Fort Lauderdale. I was speaking to this point.

After that one Russian Mataji, she came and told me about an incident. She was in one of our temples in New Vrindavan which is on top of a mountain in a remote area. She had gone there and then suddenly some situation had come up at her job so she had to immediately leave.

And it's a remote place so not much communication available. So she came to know that one devotee was going next morning and she asked that devotee and said, I can take you. She says, come by at this place at 10 o'clock.

So she came there by 9.50. She was waiting 10, 10.15, 10.30 just trying to call. The phone was not reaching. And she was waiting and getting angrier and angrier.

Where did this person go? And finally at 11.40 the range went through. Because it's a mountainous area the range was not going through. And he said, oh I forgot, I'm sorry.

Now I've gone too far I can't come back now. And then the range went off. She was furious.

How could you forget I was waiting for two hours? If you had told me I would have done some arrangement. There was no other arrangement. She was seething with anger.

And then she came back and she was doing some doing some service in the temple. Then that evening another Mataji told her you know that boy who was there? That young man said yes. His car was hit by a drunk driver.

And he's in the hospital. And then she enquired further she found that actually he had some minor injuries but that drunk driver had hit full on the passenger side. And if she had been there she would have been killed.

So she realised that in this particular case she understood. Krishna had his plan. So sometimes how what Krishna is doing is good for us we may understand in six hours.

Sometimes it may take six years. Sometimes it may take sixty years. So we may or may not understand immediately.

If instead of asking Krishna for a specific solution to a problem even if we ask for strength to face whatever comes in our life then we will realise that Krishna will never let us down. He will give us the strength to face problems. So rather than thinking of our relationship with Krishna as a means to get our problems solved we can see that Krishna can toughen us internally.

So that even when problems come he gives us the strength to face them and to overcome them to go through them in a way that helps us grow. How can we love others when we aren't meant to become attached to them? Attachment and affection are two very different things. Affect or we could say bondage and bonding are two different things.

When we are attached to someone that means we are concerned only about their pleasure. In every interaction there is pleasure and there is welfare. Like a mother is very attached to the child and the child says mummy I want chocolate.

Now the child's tooth has become spoiled because of eating too much chocolate and the mother says no I cannot have chocolate. No! She starts crying. And the mother says no no no don't cry I'll give you chocolate.

So what is happening the tooth will get further spoiled. So when we say we are attached to someone that means the pleasure that their pleasure and thereby our pleasure from their pleasure that is the only basis of the relationship. We are not really concerned about their welfare in the long run and we are also not because for their pleasure we will do anything we ourselves end up doing wrong things.

The classic example of attachment is in the Mahabharata Dhritarashtra and Duryodhana. Duryodhana was an evil villain. He was an active villain.

And Dhritarashtra was a passive villain. So he could not tolerate any displeasure of Duryodhana and that's why he did hideous things. Hideously he had his own nephew's plan to be burnt alive to be killed to be poisoned it was horrible.

So attachment means that we get so concerned with other person's pleasure and our pleasure through that person that neither that person's welfare nor our welfare remains a concern. When we are affectionate then we are properly situated in the intersection between welfare and pleasure. If we have to choose we choose welfare normally.

Even if it sometimes causes displeasure to them. And for this we need a strong vertical relationship with Krishna. Our ultimate welfare and other person's ultimate welfare is to be connected with Krishna.

All our relationships in the world they are important they can be fulfilling but they cannot be forever enduring. The purpose of all relationships in the world is to help us develop an enduring relationship with Krishna. So when we interact in a way that is not driven only by their pleasure or our pleasure but we interact in a way that is for their welfare and our welfare then we can be affectionate without becoming attached.

So how can we distinguish between what to let go and what to work on in our lives? Yes, life is like a tennis match. In a tennis match sometimes we are serving and sometimes we are returning. Now when a player is returning at that time they have little less control.

Now a player may be very good on the forehand but if the serve comes on the backhand the player can't say I will play on the forehand. He will play on the forehand and just hit air and the ball will go off and they lose the point. So when we are returning wherever the ball comes we just have to get the ball back in the play.

So in life sometimes we are serving and sometimes we are returning. In some situations when we are serving we can decide whether to serve on the forehand or the backhand or into the body at what height at what pace with how much spin all that we can decide. So there are situations in our life when we have more control and there are some situations in which we have less control.

A lot of frustration comes when we don't understand what phase of life we are going through. So if we are returning and we expect the freedom of serving we will get frustrated. If we are serving and we exhibit only the reactiveness of returning rather than the initiative then again we lose the opportunities.

So if we rather than getting caught in the situation withdraw ourselves from the situation and calm ourselves down and think calmly about the situation pray to Krishna and then look at our situation. Okay. I can say that the same situation if I keep trying, keep trying, keep trying, I will never control.

But in terms of the overall picture of my life how important is this? Sri Prabhupada explains that intelligence means to see things in their proper perspective. Sometimes I may try to get this person to do this and I will force them. Yes, but I force them to do that and that person got so alienated but then there are hundred other things which anger me or displease me.

Okay, let them do this one thing but we develop a stronger relationship to other things. So if we have an overall understanding of life, if we have a, if our life is directed by an overall purpose then how important which particular thing is we can decide and accordingly how much to try to control and work on some things, how much to let go of things, that we can decide accordingly. Say if we are a crowded local in a metro train say in India, we are a crowded train and somebody is, you know, pushing us.

Now, if they push us, how dare you push me, it's a crowd, I push them back and then they push me and I push them back and we get so caught in pushing with each other, pushing each other that our station comes and goes and we forget. They are still pushing, pushing, Now sometimes we just get so caught in some situations that we forget the broader purpose. No, okay, you are pushing me, I am in this local for a short while, why bother, I just move somewhere else.

And okay, you win this battle, it doesn't matter to me. So we move on. So my purpose is not to conquer this space in the train.

My purpose is just to get to my destination. I can decide, let it go. But if somebody is pushing us out of the train itself, then we can't allow that.

Then we have to push back and maintain our space. So when to control and when to let go, that can be understood if we keep our broader purpose foremost in mind. Okay, thank you.

How to fix the corrupted software when the fear is excessive? Yeah, we have to work at things which we can fix. Sometimes some fears may be so much that they almost be impossible. So rather than trying to deal with those fears at that time, we focus on trying to spiritualise ourselves during the rest of our life.

Trying to gain more knowledge, gain better understanding, connect with Krishna. So if you consider our life, the graph of our consciousness with respect to time, we'll find that there are times when the fear shoots up. And those phases may be almost impossible to deal with.

When that happens, rather than trying to think, oh, when that fear will shoot up, what will I do? How will I deal with it? Okay, when it comes, let's see what happens. Say, this is the time when fear shoots up and this is the time when fear shoots up. In between, what do I do? If in between, I'm focussing on Krishna, I'm trying to toughen myself internally by gaining knowledge, by strengthening my devotion, then, when those phases come, we'll be able to better deal with it.

See, the nature of the mind is that it cannot not think of something. If, say, I find that this mic has some electricity in it, some current is going on, I put, ah, I feel a current, I decide I'll not touch this. Now, I can, because it's a physical object, I can decide not to touch it.

But if I tell you now, for the next thirty seconds, please don't think of a pink monkey. Now, in your whole life, you may not have thought of a pink monkey. But, now when I tell you don't think of a pink monkey, you'll start thinking of it.

So, sometimes, thinking of not doing something, that actually increases the thinking of that thinking, thinking of that particular activity. So, rather than thinking, I will not become fearful, I will not let myself become overcome. Negation doesn't work well in the level of the mind.

So, what we do is focus on the positive. During the phases in between, when the fear shoots up, try to cultivate some positive connection. Try to develop some habit of thought, which can fill us with positivity, with energy.

We chant the holy names of Krishna, read something constructive like the Bhagavad Gita, learn deep breathing, and we try to strengthen our positive connection. And at that time, when the fear comes up, still the fear may come, but we try to redirect our consciousness towards the positive habit which we have developed. And that way, we'll be able to overcome the fear.

So, if you're not meant to use material things, such as people for our security, but only Krishna, does that mean we shouldn't depend on close friends, family, or even our Guru? Not exactly. What I meant was, I gave the example that there are painkillers, and there are medicines. There are painkilling medicines, and there's curative medicine.

So, the painkillers are also required at times. But, the painkillers are not meant to be the replacement of the medicine. The painkillers are meant to be a complement to the medicine, or a supplement to the medicine.

So, all of us, depending on our particular disposition, some people, they have capacity to tolerate a lot of pain. Some people, if they have to do a tooth extraction, they just do it. You don't need anaesthesia also.

Some people, just a probe goes inside their mouth, and they just, aah, they want anaesthesia over there. That's not necessarily a bad thing, that's just that some bodies are made that way. So, whatever painkiller dosage is required, that's okay.

Take the dosage, the important thing is get the treatment done. So, some of us may need more connection, more emotional relationships, more bonding with others. Some of us may not need that that much.

But the point is that this should not become our sole source of security. That is a painkiller, it's important. But all our relationships and all the, all the connections that we have in those relationships, they are meant to help us take shelter of Krishna.

So, actually, if we are dependent on Krishna, then we will be able to function better in our other relationships also, because we won't get so shaken by the other by the ups and downs of that relationship. In relationships, we can say there is, there are dependent people, there are independent people and there are interdependent people. It's only those who are independent, they can become interdependent.

When we are dependent on someone, then they can manipulate us or their absence can disempower us completely. So, our, our dependence with, on Krishna makes us independent, because we get our security within through our connection with Krishna. That doesn't mean we become, we become negligent about others.

But then we can choose to be interdependent. And then that relationship can help both the people in that relationship to grow. How can we handle our past hurt, hurt feelings? How to forget those memories? And how can we be strong when those memories also come up? Yeah, when I was in Brisbane, I gave a talk on how to get past our past.

So, yes, past memories, which have hurts are there, they will, we can't wish them away. But in the past hurts, they can be of two forms. If something is a raw wound, then that raw wound, as soon as I touch it, it causes pain.

Any touch, contact anywhere causes pain. But suppose that raw wound has become filled, then it becomes like a scar. The scar is still there, but the scar doesn't cause pain.

So, how can we So, what is the difference between at an emotional level, a raw wound and a scar? When we are still emotionally fixated in that, then it is a raw wound. When our emotions are released from that, then it becomes a healed wound. A scar is there, but the wound gets healed.

So, how do we, how do we get past those? The first thing is that we have to recognise that the past can't be changed. It's a simple point at one level to say, but at our mind's level, we don't accept it. The Mahabharata says that lamentation achieves nothing except to sap the energy of the lamender.

So, it's like, say, if I'm driving along a road and somebody shoots across my path, I pass the brake and I press the brake and that person goes on and I move on. And then the other person is going on looking back, glaring, glaring, glaring. How dare you do like this? Well, if I keep glaring there, I'll meet with another accident here.

Isn't it? Okay, that's happened, it's over. So, the past can't be changed. The past can control us only to the extent we let it control us.

So, what do we do? We just, we can't stop thinking about the past, but we can fill our present with more constructive things. And when we fill our present with more constructive things, then, if the mind goes to the past, if we keep the mind idle, it will automatically go to the past and it will make us miserable. So, we fill our mind with constructive things.

That's the first thing. The second thing is, then, when we are calm, we revisit the past and analyse it and process it. Okay, this happened, what can I learn from it? If I, if we learn from it, whatever happened, okay, this person acted like that, that person acted like that, it's a closed chapter in my life.

That person has hurt me, I forgive them. Forgiveness is not condoning. Forgiveness doesn't mean that whatever they did was not wrong.

It doesn't mean that it was wrong, it is wrong, but I won't hold on to it. So, if we think of forgiveness as saying that, oh, it was not wrong, our mind will repent. No, it was wrong, it hurt me so much.

Yes, it hurt me, but that chapter is over in my life. Forgiving is also not trusting. Forgiveness is for the past.

Trust is for the future. Forgiveness can be given, but trust has to be earned. It's only when that person shows some rectified behaviour, then we can trust them.

So, if you understand forgiveness simply as emotionally disinvesting ourselves from that situation. Okay, that thing happened, that person acted like that, but that chapter is over in my life. Now, everything that happens is for a purpose, some purpose that was there.

If I can learn something from it right now, that's good. Otherwise, in future, what was meant to be learned from it will be revealed. But now, I close this chapter in my life.

Sometimes, doing some physical activity, writing down our feelings, addressing those feelings, what I have learned from it, and then just all the emotions that are there, just end it in that way. Express it, process it, and then end that chapter. That way, we can get over the hurts of the past.

Okay. Okay. So, if mistakes happen from my side in the past, and people keep reminding me of those mistakes, and that creates turbulence and fearfulness, how to deal with that? Yes, as I said, there are some people who hold the past as a tool for beating people in the present.

Now, it's understandable that if I have made some mistake, the other person will say troubled by that mistake, and the other person may not trust me right now. That's understandable. But, if that person is holding on to the past, and because you did like that at that time, that's how you are now.

Then, we have to see in a particular relationship, how is that relationship affecting us? If some people are, their presence is bringing out our lower side, then we may have to create some distance. Distance may not just be physical, it's more of emotional. I won't take this person's remark so seriously.

For that, we need to have some other people who validate us. Validate doesn't necessarily mean they approve everything that we say, everything that we say or do. They also guide us to improve.

But, the important thing is that we try to learn from our past mistakes, but we don't want to live in the past, lamenting about the mistakes of the past. If some people are having that more, then they are caught in the past, and they are trying to keep us in the past. Sometimes, some things may have hurt someone so badly, that for them, it may be difficult to get over it.

But then, that does not mean we have to let them hold it on us. It means, even if somebody's anger is because of our past actions, if they are holding on to that anger, that means it is their issue, it is not our issue. Yes, there are, in life, when things happen, there are causes and there are triggers.

Trigger is what makes a particular thing happen. Just like, say, home and this is the college, and there is a student who passes by, and in between there is a bar. Now, if there are two students, one of them has drunk a few times, the other has never drunk.

And the student who passes by the bar, who has drunk, as soon as he passes by, there is a desire that comes, let me drink, let me drink. The other student passes by, there is no desire over there. So, now, the bar, there is a desire to drink, is not the cause of that desire to drink.

The bar is the trigger. The cause is, cause is the craving that has already been created, that attachment that has already been created by past indulgence. But now, for some people, certain actions become triggers.

You did like that, and that's why I feel angry, that's why I am angry with you. So, our mistake from the past is a trigger for them, but it is, the cause is within them. The cause is that they are still obsessed with the past.

Krishna says that, यया स्वप्नं भयं शोकं विशादं मदमेवच नविमुञ्चति दुर्मेधा दृति सापार्थ तामसी He says that the mentality which holds on to past wrong, which is habitually morose, habitually negative, that mentality is in the mode of ignorance. So, we should see, although they are blaming us, we are simply the triggers. The cause, the issues within them, their mind is negatively directed constantly.

So, we don't take it personally and we move on. So, if we can't keep too much of a distance with such people in our lives, then we should focus more on trying to connect with people who bring positivity in our lives, who encourage us. And that will help us to counter whatever negativity these people bring in our life.

6 o'clock? Till how much time? Okay, fine. Does being highly ambitious make us more fearful? If so, how to deal with it? Ambition is meant to inspire us to do better. We are all conscious beings and as conscious beings, we have an innate desire to improve things.

If we look at hens or we look at animals, for millennia they have been eating the same food again and again and again. We humans have made thousands of delicacies and we keep coming up with newer and newer. So, we have an innate desire to improve things and the desire to improve things is an expression of our ambition.

So, when we are ambitious about something, we want to achieve this in our life and that achievement is not in our control. So, the fact that it is not in our control can cause anxiety to us. So, we have to see what is the driving motivation for the ambition.

Is it recognition or is it expression? Recognition means I want the world to recognise. I am so intelligent. I am so smart.

I am so good and if that is my purpose, then it is not in my control and that will cause me a lot of anxiety. But if I see that by God's arrangement, I have been given some talents. I am inspired about certain things.

So, I will try to express these talents. I will do justice to these talents. I will try to realise my potentials.

So, if not recognition but realisation is the spur for my ambition, then my centre will be within me. Did I do my best? I worked hard and I improved myself. I did this much.

Then that ambition will not cause anxiety because our focus will be on how well am I doing things. If my focus is on what result is coming? Will I get this result? Will I achieve this? Then we will not be able to, then the ambition will cause anxiety and greater the ambition, greater will be the anxiety. So, rather than vetting our ambition to certain external results, we can vet that ambition to an internal purpose.

Now, I want to do my best. There is a difference between doing my best and being the best. If I think I want to be the best among everyone else, then I don't know how well others are going to do.

I don't know what is going to happen in the outside world. Then that will make us insecure. But if I focus on being the best, being my best rather, then we can do our best without getting overwhelmed by anxiety.

Einstein is attributed to have said that if we start judging a fish by its ability to climb a tree, the fish will live with a lifelong inferiority complex. So, we focus not on external parameters for judging our talents or judging our ambitions. We focus on not recognition, but realisation.

And most importantly, we can direct our ambition in a devotional mode. Krishna, I am doing this to please you. I want to be a good student.

I want to be a good singer. I want to be a good whatever it is, good professional. I want to do this for your pleasure.

And if we have done our best, Krishna will be pleased with us. So, if we direct, if we spiritualise our ambition, doing it primarily for Krishna's pleasure and then externally we try our best to get the best result externally. But that external is not our primary motive.

Then the anxiety will not be induced so much. Rather, the satisfaction that will come from our connection with Krishna. So, what do I do with fear of darkness and clowns? Clowns are not something which people are afraid of.

Maybe it is ghosts or something that we are afraid of. But with respect to darkness, generally when our fears are there, we have to deal with them. As I said, there is the body, there is the mind and the soul.

So, correspondingly, there is a physical solution, there is an emotional solution, there is a spiritual solution. So, at a physical solution, if you are afraid of dark, simple thing is avoid dark. Try to have light as much as possible.

If there is no light, try to have some flashlight or something. We have to work at a practical level. But not only at a practical level.

So, beyond that, it is at the level of the mind. Okay, if I am afraid of dark, what do I do? What is it? When we are in dark, we become fearful. But then, when we are in light, when we are safe, we can look back and think.

Maybe have our parents or somebody else think with us. Okay, what is it that I am exactly fearful of? Is that somebody will come and attack me? Or is it that I will slip and fall? The fear is basically when the mind goes on an imagination track. And then we have to find out what exactly is that track.

And what triggered that track. Maybe saw a movie in which a child was kidnapped in the dark. And that's why I am fearful.

Whenever I am in dark, I will get kidnapped. Or I heard some story from someone about what happens in dark. That's what caused fear.

So, at an emotional level, we try to analyse what caused that fear. Or what is the imagination that the mind is going along. And then try to deal with that.

That was just a movie. That's not happening in real life. In my life, there are doors, there is safety.

There is no need to be afraid. So, that's at an emotional level. And even if you are not able to deal with it, See, fear is not the problem, usually.

It is what comes after fear. For most people, it is not that… We all have our fears. And we never completely overcome our fear.

It is that, say, if a cricketer is there. And the cricketer goes out to bat. There is some fear.

What if I get out on zero? What if I get injured? Sometimes you may say, sometimes players get injured. And they get badly injured. They never want to play again.

The fear is always there. So, we press on, not by the removal of fear. But by cultivating a purpose that is higher than fear.

This is when a cricketer goes out to bat. I want to perform. I am a batsman.

I want to develop my talents. So, we don't have to be fearful of our fear. The fear is there.

And yes, some amount of fear is good. Because that can inspire us to be alert. A batsman has a little tension, a little anxiety.

That brings more alertness. That brings more sharpness. So, the energy of fear, we don't have to necessarily let it make us fearful.

You see, it can increase our alertness. And lastly, at a spiritual level. We have to develop more faith in Krishna.

Connect with Krishna. It is said that, when fear, if we are driving in a car. And, while driving in a car, if suddenly the car starts moving fast.

Say, if there is a slope. Because of that the car is starting to move too fast. Then what do we do? We press the brake.

But sometimes, some people, instead of pressing the brake, they press the accelerator. The car starts moving even faster then. So, if the car is moving fast, we have to press, not the accelerator, we have to press the brake.

So, similarly, when fear starts coming in our mind. We don't have to press the accelerator of our imagination. Our mind will be like, this will go wrong, that will go wrong.

We have to press the brake of faith. We chant the name of Krishna. We pray to Krishna.

And that, this is redirecting our thoughts towards Krishna. Now, whatever it is that, you, if you have, if you like a particular pastime of Krishna. Then keep that picture of Krishna with you.

That pastime. And you pray to Krishna. And then you press that brake.

Then we find that the thoughts will come under control. So, by avoiding light, by having light as much as possible to avoid darkness. By trying to find out, what is it that triggers my imagination.

And recognising that even if that doesn't go away. Fear is fine. It can increase my alertness.

It's only when I let that fear choke me. If I cultivate a fear bigger than fear. If I cultivate a purpose bigger than fear.

And lastly, when fear starts accelerating in the imagination. We press the brake of faith. By that, we will be able to deal with our fears.

Thank you very much. Hare Krishna. Hare Prabhupada.

Hare Krishna. Thank you very much. I would like to thank His Grace, His Eminence Prabhu.

Once again, I would like to thank His Grace, His Eminence Prabhu. I would like to take a few questions which haven't been answered.