Gita 02.06 – Find way through lose-lose problems by seeking emotional distance

Hare Krishna Bhagavad Gita 2.6 So Arjuna after giving all his reasoning about why he should not fight is now revealing the indecision that is tearing his heart apart confusion that is practically rendering senseless I do not with Maha I do not know in this case Katarand no which is better for us which is better for us actually Katarand which one Yidva Jayeyma Yidivano Jayeyu so Yidva Jayeyma normally we may wonder if a player is playing if a match you know what is better is winning or losing better that would be a no brainer question it's obvious winning would be better but then you have the complication is that Yidva Jayeyma actually if they win over us they will kill us we will die otherwise if they start the war normally Kshatriyas will not flee from the war so we avoid till death and they will kill us or we will kill them Yidiva Jayeyma Yidivano Jayeyu but if we win over them then we will have to kill them but because they also will not accept defeat peace proposals have failed because of Duryodhana's obstinacy but if we kill them we will not there will be nothing left for us to live for as he mentioned earlier that even for the three worlds I will not give up what to speak of for this earth in 1.35 he spoke that and he is saying that we won't want to live how can we live with thinking that oh the blood of our loved ones was shared by us life was taken by us we won't want to kill them but the leaders of Dhritarashtra's army are here Dhritarashtra is a word he is using repeatedly because even if they feel not much connection with Duryodhana Dhritarashtra has been their uncle he has acted like their father at least initially Dhritarashtra was affectionate considering that because Pandu was orphan so his sons were like so Pandu's sons were like his sons and eventually only when Duryodhana became envious and Yudhishtira's good qualities started outshining Duryodhana's qualities that Dhritarashtra became more and more biased but anyway Dhritarashtra so Pramukhe so he is saying that what do we do here you know what are the options for them basically three options if we fight and win then we will have to kill our opponents kill our respectable ones and that will make our life not worth living but if we fight or if we decide not to fight then we will have to live like beggars and that will be mortifying he expresses readiness to do that but that's an extreme situation it's definitely not a preferred situation under unavoidable circumstances they may accept that but it is a great greatly painful thing for a Kshatriya to actually live in a forest or to live like a beggar so and of course if they if we don't fight then we will have to live like beggars if we fight and defeated we will be killed so what should we do I don't know what is the right course of action essentially actually should I fight or not fight that is the primary dilemma that is there but no action seems feasible so actually in material life sometimes we come to what are called in management circles or conflict resolution circles as loose loose situations whatever you do you lose to use a little bit street language be damned if you do it be damned if you don't do it so actually Arjuna is faced in this situation Shakespeare expressed that predicament to do or not to do that is the question so to do and get involved in the complexities of everything that may happen and deal with all the consequences or to not do and live with the idea that oh what might have happened if I had done not do and live with the idea that not actually it is only when in the next verse he will surrender to Krishna that he will get learned so we all need the guidance of Krishna coming through his representatives for us to be able to make sound decisions so when lose-lose situations come upon us the way to avoid losing is by rising rising means rising to a higher level of consciousness where considerations other than the considerations of lose-lose higher considerations factor in and based on that we make decisions about what is to be done and what is not to be done so here the key thing is for Arjuna to come out of his confusion is to have his consciousness raised and that is what the Bhagavad Gita will do sometimes when we face problems we just keep thinking and talking about the problem and that only makes us feel more and more problem afflicted the more we think and talk about a problem sometimes the problem just grows bigger and bigger of course if we talk with a spiritual mentor and get guidance from them then the problem may be solved but sometimes even when we go to a spiritual mentor a spiritual guide we are ourselves so confused in our head that whatever guidance we are given we just point out the problems the faults with their guidance and sometimes we are not able to even present the problem properly and that's why we don't get the guidance properly if a patient doesn't give the symptoms properly how can the doctor diagnose and give proper treatment so the principle of surrender to the spiritual master is important the principle of seeking guidance from the spiritual authority is important but along with that it is important for us to take responsibility also a doctor takes responsibility for curing the patient but the patient also takes responsibility for informing the doctor accurately about what the disease is and what the how the treatment is having the effect so it's not a one way relationship that the doctor gives instruction the patient simply follows the patient also has to take periodic inventory of health and give appropriate report to the doctor so similarly you know we can and we need and we should take guidance from the spiritual master but along with that we also have to become responsible ourselves we have to organize our thoughts so basically just talking and thinking about problems especially when the problems are of the loose loose nature where there doesn't seem to be any way ahead at that time just thinking about and talking about a problem simply leads to a problem growing bigger so it is good at such times to just take a break and force ourselves to think of something else something which is more relaxing comforting rejuvenating such as our most nourishing form of devotional service which helps us absorb ourselves in Krishna and by that we can gain some strength gain some our consciousness rises and we gain some distance from the problem sometimes even verbalizing the problem by writing it down in a journal helps us because as long as the thoughts are going on in the mind they just occupy mental space and they create a congestion that aggravates the confusion getting the thoughts out removes the congestion and then we can when the thoughts are out then we can actually see them with greater objectivity when they are written down and then we can evaluate better and then we can present the problem better also to take spiritual guidance from others so what we need is a distance creating a distance from the problem so that we can see the bigger picture and find a way ahead and that distance can be created by ourselves getting the thoughts out and out of our head and writing them down or consulting someone who is at a distance by distance we refer not to the physical distance but the emotional distance so emotional distance between us and the problems is created by spirituality and that enables us to find that actually even loose situations are not loose there are alternatives which we have not explored and those alternatives can help us to move forward and even to grow and we will see as the Bhagavad Gita moves forward Krishna will show how Arjuna's situation far from being loose is actually win-win and that we will discuss when we come to the second third section 2.30 to 37 but here Arjuna by just thinking and talking about the problem using his own intelligence has ended in agonizing confusion and that is voiced in this verse thank you.