Gita 04.04 – Accept responsibility for clear communication – don’t affix blame for unclear communication

Thank you Arjuna Vacham Bhagavad Gita 4.4 Arjuna is asking to Krishna Aparam Bhavato Janma Aparam is not Param not higher, it is lower Bhavato Janma, your birth was lower Param Janma Vivasvata and the birth was Vivasvan was senior Kathame Tad Vijaniyam how can I, how am I to understand that you spoke this knowledge to the Sun God so Arjuna is raising an obvious question that will come to anyone who hears this section especially when Krishna says in 4.1 that I spoke this knowledge to Sun God now the question actually comes how is it possible Krishna and Arjuna are more or less contemporaries and Arjuna certainly is not of an age where he has spoken to Sun God so how is it possible this question itself indicates that first of all we look at the position and the disposition of this question the position means that it comes in the Bhagavad Gita as it is entering into deep philosophy and it indicates that questions, logical questions are meant to be raised and the Bhagavad Gita does not disapprove of questions at the same time, if you look at the position of the question, Krishna made the point in 4.1 that I gave the knowledge to Sun God now the question could have come immediately at that time but Arjuna's question comes not immediately but substantially later two verses later actually so why is that now Arjuna waits to see if in the further course of Krishna's discourse the question gets answered or not sometimes when we are hearing a class we hear some point and that point raises a question some of us may be inclined to immediately raise our hand and ask the question at that very point and in some interactive discussions that may well be welcomed but sometimes such questions may interrupt the flow of the teacher when the teacher is speaking and if the teacher is going through a linear systematic flow then the teacher may also anticipated the question that a previous point would bring and then in one of the future point that question would be addressed so Arjuna waits after hearing 4.1 to see if Krishna is going to clarify that how he could have spoken to Sun God so after that Krishna speaks this is how the parampara system was set up for passing knowledge to the Rajyavishis and then in the third verse Krishna says that now the parampara is lost so I am giving the knowledge to you that means now that part about the first one is more or less over Krishna is just telling that the purpose of telling that was that actually the knowledge I am giving you is not some newfangled concoction it has been there and in the past also it was there and not only was it there but even at that time I had given it so I am only giving it to you now so that the knowledge is ancient and it is authorized it is ancient, it is given in the past, authorized because the same person who gave it in the past is now giving it to you so that assurance is coming to Krishna, coming to Arjuna through this these statements of Krishna so now after this the question may come up that basically this points out that the historical detour is over, the detour into history of that knowledge is over and now Krishna will move forward to further talk about the same knowledge so then Krishna says no no no the detour cannot get over so fast the detour itself has raised some questions and those questions need to be addressed so accordingly Arjuna raises this question at 4.4 although the question is about 4.1 he waits to see if the Krishna's flow of thought is going to raise address the question 4.2 and 3 but then at 4.3 it becomes clear that now the flow of thought is that point is more or so when the flow of thought is going elsewhere and Krishna Arjuna says no I need to ask this question so we see the position is that there is inquisitiveness at the same time there is also patience not that as soon as the question comes immediately ask no wait and see in the natural flow of the discourse the question is answered if not then he is asking and then the way he is asking is also very instructive how am I to understand that means Krishna has spoken that I give this knowledge to sun god now Arjuna does not challenge the fact Arjuna only presents his problem with understanding the statement so this is often talked about in communications as a principle of discussion where we have a non-challenging question where we don't compromise our intelligence but at the same time we don't question the other person's integrity either so if Arjuna accepts unthinkingly that Krishna spoke this knowledge to sun god then Arjuna is compromising on his intelligence how is it possible it doesn't make sense intellectually so Arjuna doesn't compromise on his intelligence but at the same time he can't unthinkingly accept what Krishna has spoken so but but if he doesn't accept it does that mean that he has to say that Krishna is a liar or a bluffer Krishna is just exaggerating no he doesn't question Krishna's integrity either so he adopts a balanced path wherein he states that how am I to understand this so Krishna he is not saying what you are saying is senseless he is saying that it doesn't make sense to me at one level the difference may be subtle but it is significant it is that rather than blaming the speaker for saying that you are speaking senseless things Arjuna is speaking that I am not able to understand what you are saying so Arjuna is accepting responsibility himself and this way we can actually have honest discussions which can still whose honesty does not breed acrimony acrimony means harsh feelings and harsh speech there is no acrimony that comes because that honesty is there based on mutual understanding based on mutual respect so Arjuna respects Krishna's authority and after respecting Krishna's authority he says how am I to understand this so for example when we speak something and if we apply this from a speaker's point of view if we speak something and we see blank faces in front of us then if we ask do you understand what I am saying the implication of such a question is that you people are dumb and why are you so dumb that you can't understand what I am saying do you understand what I am saying that could very well be the implication of that question but if we want to be more inviting less less denigrating of others intelligence we could say we could make the same point by saying am I making myself clear and then generally we will get much more ready feedback to that who likes to say that I am not understanding what you are saying who wants to admit that I am not intelligent our goal is not to make people feel bad about themselves our goal is to help people understand things so when we take up the responsibility for that and we say that so blaming them for not understanding we take up the responsibility am I making myself clear and that way again people will candidly say ok no this point is not clear can you explain so essentially our purpose of transmitting the message clearly gets served if we take up the responsibility rather than assign blame to others so similarly here we see from the students point of view Arjuna takes a similar attitude rather than blaming Krishna for speaking insensibly, Arjuna says the same point but says in such a way that it doesn't make sense to me how am I to understand it that you spoke it long ago so when we adopt this attitude of accepting responsibility rather than assigning blame then we will be able to educate as well as communicate much more frictionlessly and much more productively frictionlessly because there will not be misunderstandings and productively because people will be forthcoming people will not feel defensive so if Arjuna doesn't say over here Krishna you are speaking nonsense then immediately Krishna has to Krishna is Supreme God itself but in normal communication if we do that the normal human tendency will be to become defensive but by taking the responsibility I am not able to understand Arjuna makes sure that the point gets clarified but does it in such a way that it doesn't cause any friction or any hurt feelings.