Healthy self-understanding 1 – How the modes distort our self-understanding

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Hare Krishna Hare Krishna So, thank you for coming today morning.
And I’ll be speaking today on the topic of redefining our relationship with ourselves. What I mean by this is that we talk about our relationship with Krishna, we talk about our relationship with others, and these relationships matter to us. If our relationship with a loved one is disrupted, then we feel very distressed by that.
But before we can relate with anyone else effectively, we need to learn to relate with ourselves effectively. What does relating with ourselves mean itself? All of us, am I audible behind? All of us have some self-conception. So, I may think that I am very intelligent, or I am a good singer, I am an Indian, I am not so good at this, I am like this, I am like that.
We all have a self-conception about ourselves. And this self-conception is the filter through which everything about us goes. So, when we interact with others, in every relationship we have, say, if we go to office, we are working with the boss, then we have a self-understanding.
I am the software engineer, and this is my project manager. So, we have an understanding of our role, and our understanding of our role determines how we interact with others. So, I was talking with one devotee, I just came from America, I was three months in America, the devotee was telling that nowadays we have cell phones with almost everyone, in fact, same people may have two or three cell phones also.
And in the past, they were in a temple, and the whole temple had only one phone, which is quite common, 20-30 years ago. So, he said, at one time, they were expecting Sri Prabhupada’s call to come, and they would have, because they were expecting Prabhupada’s call to come or not, they were saying that, you know, they had turns of devotees sitting and watching the phone. When will it ring? So that, one phone was there, and that one phone was the link for them with Prabhupada.
So, Prabhupada would normally not use phones so much. He would normally just write letters and correspond to people. So, if that one phone was the link, then they were treasuring that phone.
It is well positioned properly, it is functioning properly, as soon as it rings, we attend to it. So, if something is the, is a vital resource for us, and it is, it is something which we absolutely need for doing something, say, if we have got a new computer, and then, we don’t have the budget to buy another computer. That is the only computer which we have to manage with for one year, two years, and we were extremely careful, say, how we handle the computer.
If a resource is valuable, it is, valuable means it costs a lot, vital means it, we need it a lot. They are two different things. Valuable and vital.
Valuable things can be vital, but it is not the same. It costs a lot, and we need it very much. And, it is indispensable.
That means, it is not replaceable. Then, if it is valuable, vital and indispensable, we will take very great care of it. So, for all of us, in our life, we are our first and fundamental resource.
Whatever we have to do, whether it is in material life or in spiritual life, we are our most important resource. Nobody can do anything for us, unless it is done through us. Somebody inspires us to do something, but it is we who have to do it.
So, in that sense, for everyone of us, we are valuable, vital and indispensable. So, that’s why having a healthy relationship with ourselves is very important. I was at a mental health care centre in America, in New Jersey.
I gave a talk over there to the mental health care providers. And, telling that there are various kinds of mental health problems that people have. Two of the most common problems are depression and anxiety.
But, these are more of emotions. And, they said, underlying both of these is an attitude towards oneself. And, that attitude is what people call as self-loathing.
Self-loathing means people loathe themselves. They dislike themselves. They hate themselves.
But, they won’t show this to the world. In front of the world, people may feel, you know, I am so intelligent, I am so smart, I have done this, I have done that. But, inside, they detest themselves.
There are some people whom we just can’t bear to stay with. We just don’t like their company. As soon as they come in, it’s like we feel as if we have walked into a minefield now.
What will cause an explosion, we don’t know. Then, if somehow we have to be with them, we will be there for some time. And then, we will try to end that interaction and move away.
But, if that sort of detestful relationship starts happening with ourselves, then where can we go? We are the only resource that we have. Now, who will dislike themselves? We may dislike others. But, why would we dislike ourselves? There can be many reasons for that.
We all have a certain idea about how we should be. And then, there is a reality of how we are. And this distance happens in spiritual life where, say, we want to live according to certain principles.
But, it can also happen in material life where people have a particular conception. Of how I should be. So, say, nowadays, there is a lot of emphasis on being thin and slim.
And somebody doesn’t like their own figure. Then, they can start hating themselves. And people get into all kinds of eating disorders because of that.
All kinds of mental disorders because of that. So, we have a particular image of how I should look. And this is how I look.
And then, because of that, I hate myself. Or I have a particular image of how I should present myself in public. I want to speak fluently.
But, when I speak, I start stuttering. Then, I may start hating myself for that. Why am I like this? So, there is, all of us, based on our particular cultural conceptions, have a particular conception of how we should be.
Or how we want to be. And there is a reality of how we are. And when this distance, this distance is there in everyone.
When this distance becomes unbearable for us, then we start disliking and detesting the reality of who we are. And that is very unhealthy. Of course, we could have, one negative attitude towards ourselves could be self-loathing, self-hatred.
The other could also be that narcissism. Narcissism means that one is just thinking of I and I and I only. We live in an age of obsessive individualism.
Obsessive individualism means, you know, everybody in today’s world is a I-specialist. Not the I-specialist, but the I-specialist. I was, last year when I was in America, I did a series of programmes in a college.
So, I got close to some of the students over there. So, one of the boys was telling me that he, he grew up in a foster home. Then, I asked him that, after we got together, what happened, did your parents pass away in an accident or something? He said, no.
Both my parents are alive. Oh, really? Then, what happened? Why did you grow up in a foster home? So, he said, when I was 5, my parents separated. And when they separated, both of them told me that, you know, this marriage was the biggest mistake of my life.
And, they said, you remind me of that mistake. So, both of them said, I don’t want anything to do with you. And although he had both parents, he became a ward of the state.
So, then he tells me that now, sometimes in our bhakti tradition, we have songs which compare Krishna to a mother or a father. Krishna Mata, Krishna Pita, Krishna Dhanna Prana. He says, when I think Krishna is like a mother or a father, I say, let Krishna not be like my mother or father.
So, here, what has happened, is that, they, instead of seeing the child as a person in their own right, what are they seeing? Okay, sometimes people may not be able to get along together. And, they may just have to separate. But, why see the child through that filter? So, here, what has happened? One has become so self-centred, that one doesn’t care for even one’s own child.
So, basically, when we become too self-centred, then we don’t care for anything else. And, narcissism actually comes from a Roman mythological character called Narcissus. So, Narcissus was a very attractive looking male.
And, he loved to look at himself and admire his figure. So, once he came next to a pond, and he was looking, see how good I look. And, he was peering over into the pond, to look more clearly.
He was looking at his face, his torso, his body. He bent over, bent over, bent over. And, he fell into the pond.
And, he didn’t know how to swim. And, he died over there. So, that is also a common phenomena, where people may be obsessively self-centred.
So, where one likes to preen how good I am, in front of everyone else. But, actually, these two, at one level, seem opposite. One is hating oneself so much, or one is, you could say, so obsessed about oneself.
But, the two are not that different. The two are, we could say, the two sides of the same coin. There could be two ways in which we may be self-centred.
One is, I am so good. And, the other is, I am so bad. In both cases, the centre is very much the self.
So, now, we see in today’s world, people have a lot of mental health issues. The mind causes a lot of problems. And, when we say that, say, somebody commits suicide, at that time, that is, we could say, the ultimate act in which the person destroys oneself.
Why would someone destroy themselves like that? That is because they feel that they are good for nothing, their life is good for nothing, things around them are good for nothing. Something is going on in their head, which makes them feel that, I can’t live anymore. So, what goes on inside the head has a lot of consequences, for us and for others.
And, what goes on inside the head is not just the particular thoughts. Underlying those thoughts is a conception. So, means, we all have particular worldviews, particular conceptions, which shape the kind of thoughts we have.
So, understanding our self-conception and changing our self-conception to a more healthy and affirmative one is vital. Otherwise, we may do various things, we may practise spiritual life. But, it’s like, suppose I am eating food.
But, while eating food, if there are some germs in my stomach, if there are some digestive issues, then all the food is eaten by those germs. And, I get no nourishment. So, I am eating the food, but there is no nourishment happening.
But, similarly, a negative self-conception can be like a parasite inside us. And, everything that we do, it is just sucked up, gobbled up by that. And, we can’t function.
So, self-loathing and we could say, self-loving in a narcissistic sense. So, both of them are two extremes. Now, if you consider, the topic which we are discussing is this first session was understanding how the three modes shape our self-understanding, our self-conception.
Broadly, we are thinking about redefining our relationship with ourselves. Within that, we will discuss what the three modes are and how they shape our understanding of ourselves. So, among the three modes of material nature, there are various permutations and combinations that take place.
But still, these three modes, they are overall forces that shape our perception of the world. So, I will use two metaphors to explain what the modes are. And then, we will see how that applies to our self-understanding.
The standard metaphor used in scripture for modes is like a rope. Guna means a rope. So, a rope is something which is tied to something and it pulls something.
So, the ropes are like, the modes are like subtle ropes which pull our consciousness in particular directions. The other example could be that in the past, we had cars with gears. And in each gear, the car moves in a particular way.
Say, if you have one gear, you can move a steep uphill. Another gear just moves steadily at a straight motion. Another gear moves when there is a starting off.
So, basically there are different gears and those gears shape how the car will move. So, the car is always going to move but the gears, everything that we do, if the car is in the first gear, where a lot of engine is exhausted, then we may still press the same clutch, we may still press the same gas, still press the same brakes, but the functioning will be subtly and significantly different. So, the soul is here, the body is here, the mind is here.
So, the modes act primarily on the mind. And the modes shape how the soul perceives the outer world and how the soul responds to the outer world. So, the modes are like, like I said, our self-conception is what filters our perception.
So, the modes are also situated at the same level, in the mind, through which our self-conception takes place. So, what are the three modes of material nature? Three modes are goodness, passion and ignorance. What are the Sanskrit words? Sattva, Rajas and Tamas.
That’s interesting. These words themselves have a significant meaning. Sattva is associated with word Sata.
Satchitananda. That is, the soul is Satchitananda. Sattva refers to that state of existence which is very close to Sata.
Sata is eternal. The soul is eternal. Sattva is that mode of living which is very close to eternal.
Rajas refers to, Raga is attachment. So, Rajas refers to that which causes attachment. Sattva is the state of existence which takes us towards transcendence.
Rajas, it is a state of thinking in which we get attached very easily. And Tamas, Tamas refers to darkness. So, Tamasoma Jyotirgama.
It’s a famous Upanishadic saying. Go from darkness to light. So, Tamas is the mode which causes darkness in which we just can’t see properly.
So, Krishna describes these characteristics in the 14th chapter of the Bhagavad Gita. And there he uses one, one word to describe each mode. So, in 14.11, when he talks about the mode of goodness, he says, sarva-dvaareshu dehesmin prakasha-upajayate jnanam yadatada vidyad vivruddham sattva-mittyuta He says, sarva-dvaareshu dehesmin The body has many doors.
And when all these doors are illumined, prakasha-upajayate Now, what is this prakasha? Is it that people in the mode of goodness, light comes from their ears, light comes from their nose? No, not like that. What it means is, here, the word prakasha, light is used in a sense of, in the sense that, there’s a door and the door is dark completely. There’s a thief might sneak in and we would not notice also.
Or, there might be some restless child who might just go out into the road and we don’t want him to go there, but the child will just go there. So, if the doors are illumined, then we can know who is coming in and who is going out. And we can discern, should this person be allowed inside or should this person be allowed to go outside.
So, basically, light at the door of the senses means that, when we are illumined in the mode of goodness, we understand what to take in from the outer world and what to give out to the outer world. In the outer world, there are so many stimuli. Now, we have to decide what to look at, what to not look at.
There is, many of us have seen this, these three monkeys, you know, see no bad, speak no bad, hear no bad. That’s basically, have light at the door of the senses by which we don’t take in bad things or we don’t give out bad things. So, in the mode of goodness, there is prakash.
So, prakash of what? The illumination. What is the prakash of? sarva-dvaareshu dehes means prakash-upajayate jnanam of knowledge. tada vidyad vivruddham sattva-mittyutam This is the mode of goodness.
Now, in contrast, Krishna says, what is the characteristic of the mode of passion? lobhav pravrttirarambha karmanam asya mahaspruha vajasyetani jayante viruddhe bhara tarshabha So, this next verse, 14.12, he says that pravrtti. Pravrtti means, I have to do something. I have to do this, do that, do that, do that.
There is a strong urge to do things. There is greed. There is insatiable desire.
But the defining, defining characteristic of the mode of passion is the urge to act. So, some people speak to express their thoughts. And some people speak to discover their thoughts.
They speak, I am sorry, I did not mean to say that. You know, all of us sometimes have slip of tongue. Isn’t it? And, slip of tongue can be sometimes quite embarrassing.
So, what happens is, in the mode of passion, there is like, in the mode of passion, we speak first and then we think later. So, basically, in interaction with the world, there is contemplation and there is action. So, in the mode of goodness, there is first contemplation and then action.
In the mode of passion, there is first action and then contemplation. First we act and then we think. You know, we say that, there is a tradition saying, look before you leap.
That is, which mode? Mode of goodness. Yes. And then, if you want to embody the mode of passion in a particular thing, you could have it, I think, there is a slogan of Nike shoes, just do it.
Just do it. Just act. So, there is not one thing, just act.
So, that is the mode of passion wherein there is the first action and then we contemplate. Should I do this? Should I not do this? And then, in the mode of ignorance, where Krishna says, aprakasho apravrdhischa pramado mohe vacha tamasye tani jayante vivruddhe kuru nandana aprakasho apravrdhischa That is, neither illumination nor action. And what is there? That is simply delusion.
One is simply lost inside the head. aprakasho pramado mohe vacha An illusion and madness disconnected from the world. tamasye tani jayante This is the mode of ignorance.
So, in the mode of ignorance, people are just lost in this. Maybe this will happen, that will happen. What about this? What about that? What about that? They just don’t do anything at all.
They are stuck in their thoughts. So, yes, we do. Now, if you see, the mode of goodness and the mode of ignorance can sometimes appear very similar.
In the mode of action, in the mode of passion, there is a lot of action. In the mode of goodness, there is first contemplation and then action. Action is immediately not there.
In the mode of ignorance also, action is immediately not there. But the big difference is, in goodness, there is internally the thoughtfulness. What about this? What about this? They are calmly analysing, discussing.
So, when we are sitting in a class, usually we are running around in life, so that is in the mode of passion. When we come to a class, we can either come in goodness or we can come in ignorance. And sometimes, it is easier to go into ignorance than to go into goodness.
So, you might just, you might just glide off into, when we are often having a class, what happens is, the mind decides to go off for a walk. I want to go here, let me go there, let me go there. And then suddenly some joke happens in the class, hey, come back.
Hey, what is the joke? I also want to laugh. And the mind comes back. So, basically, in the mode of ignorance, one is not thinking clearly, one is just going along with the mind wherever it is going.
So, in the mode of goodness, there is contemplation means, one is directing one’s thoughts. So, because in the mode of ignorance, there is no, no proper thought at all, just wandering with the mind, it is characterised by helplessness. One just feels very helpless.
One just doesn’t do anything, one doesn’t think clearly, one just is helpless. So, we could put the three modes in this way, that some people make things happen. In the mode of goodness, people think, plan, okay, I do this, you do this, we’ll all do this together, we’ll get this done.
Some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. In the mode of passion, people start off, I try to do one thing, but then I don’t think about it.
Sometimes I just decide, decide to go, I’ll go to this programme, but then we go half the way, you know, okay, I forgot to take my entry card, I forgot to take this, we come back again. And we go back, we just start to do things, and one thing goes wrong, another thing goes wrong, third thing goes wrong, and the whole thing becomes a mess. We try to be inspired, we want to get someone to do something, but we speak something in a way which is indiscreet, and they get hurt, and they complain here, they speak that over there, speak that over there, what happened? So, some people make things happen, some people watch things happen, and some people wonder what happened.
So, those who wonder what happened are in, which mode? Ignorance. Yes, they’re just lost, just in a stupor, not knowing what is going on. So, basically, now, how, these three, this is a broad understanding of three modes.
Now, how does this apply to our self-conception? Our conception of ourselves. So, that means, now, if you consider, Krishna talks also about knowledge in the three modes. This is, in the 14th chapter, gives the broad characteristics of three modes.
But he talks about knowledge in three modes in the 18th chapter. And there he says, he talks about 18.20, 21.22, knowledge in the three modes of material nature. So, I earlier said, we take in the world from outside, and then we act with the world.
So, when we take in information from the world, now, for us, we ourselves also are the object. Whenever there is conscious experience, there are three, some three elements in it. There is the, there is the subject of consciousness, there is the perceiver.
Say, for example, right now you’re hearing me. Let me say, you are the subject of consciousness. You are the person who is perceiving.
And then between you and me, there is a stream of consciousness. It’s coming towards me. And then you are observing.
So, I am the object of consciousness. So, for you, for me, you are the object of consciousness, I am the subject of consciousness. So, basically, whenever conscious perception happens, there are these three things.
That the subject of consciousness, the stream of consciousness, and the object of consciousness. So, now, this we can apply to ourselves also. So, for example, if we go in front of a mirror, and we look at ourselves.
At that time, we are the observer, but we are also the observed. So, between us and the mirror is the stream of consciousness. So, now, when we are talking about self-conception, how we look at ourselves, that means, in that case, we are both the subject of consciousness and the object of consciousness.
So, Krishna says, when we interact with the object of consciousness, then we take in something from there. If the door is illumined, we know what to take in, whom to let in, and whom to let out. So, we take in certain information from the outer world, and we act in the outer world.
So, our whole session will be based on this understanding, how do we look at ourselves, and how do we act with ourselves. So, that is, first I’ll talk about knowledge in the three modes, that is 18.20 to 22, and then later I’ll talk about determination in the three modes, which Krishna talks about in 18.33 to 35. So, it’s interesting, Krishna differentiates between three things, actually four things over there.
He talks about knowledge in the three modes, he talks about work in the three modes, he talks about worker in the three modes, then he talks about intelligence in the three modes, and then he talks about determination in the three modes, and finally he talks about pleasure in the three modes. So, we will not go into that, whole thing will be a seminar in itself. Our talk is focused on self-conception.
But knowledge in the three modes means there is a lot of information out there in the world, we take in some information. So, the modes will shape what kind of information we take in from the outer world. So, let’s look at the mode of ignorance first.
That’s 18.22. They take one thing to be everything. So, observe one thing and make it into everything. They just become irrationally attached to that one thing or one mode of action and that’s all.
There is no proper cause-effect connection. There is no proper understanding of the truth. Their understanding is very meagre.
Krishna says that is knowledge in the mode of ignorance. It’s interesting, normally we consider knowledge and ignorance to be opposite. But what does knowledge in the mode of ignorance mean? It means the knowledge that increases ignorance.
How can knowledge increase ignorance? Here ignorance refers not to so much just absence of knowledge but having one particular perspective. Say for example, in the past, in the western world, say there was racism. In India, there was casteism.
So, in this kind of isms, essentially people are defined by one characteristic. Either the family in which they were born or the colour of their skin. And when this happens, now okay, the colour of the skin, the family of the birth, that is one feature.
But the person is a whole complete being and they have many other aspects. But you reduce the whole person to just one feature of theirs. And then everything is perceived in that filter.
Perceived through that filter. That means okay, then even if say, if people have a particular prejudice, see prejudice or bias, what does it mean? That essentially means that we we take a small sample. Now say one person from a particular community or particular race was very aggressive.
And based on that we brand people in this, people of this community or this race are aggressive. One person was unclean, dishonest. Say everybody is dishonest.
So we take a narrow sample and make a huge extrapolation based on that. And then even if the experience we could say, you know, even if we have a conception this person is dishonest or this community is dishonest, we think like that. Then even if somebody in that community is honest and they are in a very upright way they are dealing with us, we think, this must be just a show.
They are just waiting for an opportunity to cheat me. So here what has happened we filter everything through our bias. And such people actually if somebody has a conception this community is just this community is dishonest.
They keep cheating. Then even if in the news they will only zero in on the news, say this person from this community did this. This person from this community did this.
There will be hundred other things that people in that community might be doing but they will just zero in on that. So what happens? They have knowledge but their knowledge increases their ignorance. Their ignorance means they are seeing only one aspect of that community or that group or that person and they are not seeing anything else.
So knowledge in the mode of ignorance means it is knowledge which just perpetuates our ignorant conception of things. Our uninformed conception of things. So just as this can apply to external other people.
Just take one feature of theirs and just define them. Our mind keeps doing that. Sometimes we see a person this person so proud.
This person so untidy. This person so irresponsible. This person so forgetful.
Our mind keeps giving a free commentary on everything that is happening. It keeps giving commentary. Now turn this same thing around to ourselves.
And in the mode of ignorance we just take one feature of ourselves and let it define us. Just one feature about ourselves. It may be like our looks.
Oh I don’t look good enough. Oh I look so great. Or it may be our financial status.
Oh I am so wealthy. Oh I don’t have any money. It may be whatever particular feature our mind zeroes in on it just defines us entirely through that filter.
So somebody might actually be reasonably successful and happy. But say in their childhood they had a brother who was very good at things and their parents were always comparing. You know you got this much marks your brother was getting so many marks.
Now in their own life they might be having a good job, a good family. They are happy. But as soon as they see see their brother.
Oh he is earning so much. Oh he has this. He has this.
So what happens? Their whole world they are filtering through the filter of comparing with their brother. Now brother is just one metaphor. We may be comparing with someone else.
So we all have in the mode of ignorance we just take one parameter or one reference point for deciding everything. And then each of us is a multifaceted complex being. And sometimes some one thing you might just not be able to do well.
We all have certain conditionings because of which some things may just not work out. So there is no need to get obsessed on one thing alone. So in the all of us in our life we have certain weaknesses and we have certain strengths.
And in the mode of ignorance we see only the wrong things in us. In our life again associated with the weakness and strengths in every situation that we are in there is something which is in our control and some things which are out of our control. So all of us can look at the things which are in our control and do something positive about it.
Or all of us can look at the things that are out of our control and can get worried. So if we consider the three modes of material nature with this dynamic. In the mode of ignorance we only look at the things that are not in our control and feel sorry for ourselves.
Oh you know this is not working, that is not working, this is not happening, that is not happening. What to do? So that is just not in their control. Now all of us say are born with a particular complexion.
Now some people lifelong just keep detesting them for their complexion. Well move on with life. It is not the end of the world whatever complexion one has.
Complexion is a very drastic example but the point I am making is that there are certain things okay the complexion which I was born, the family in which I was born, the race in which I was born, that is not in my control. So when we keep obsessing over things that are not in our control we just feel helpless, we feel powerless, we feel sorry for ourselves. So this in the mode of ignorance we focus on the things that are not in our control and just the mind goes this is like this, this is like that, this is like that, feel sorry for ourselves.
In the mode of passion we focus only on the things that are in our control and again we don’t get a complete picture. So in the mode of passion we focus only on our strengths. Whatever I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.
There are many people if we have a group meeting where some responsibilities have to be assigned. There are some people who come up and say I’ll do everything and actually when it comes to doing they don’t do anything at all because what happens in the mode of passion we just focus only on our strengths, we don’t acknowledge our limitations and we overestimate our capacity to do things. In the mode of goodness we are able to see better.
Okay I have these strengths and I have these weaknesses. Let me use my strengths properly and let me manage my weaknesses. So there is a holistic picture.
So now with respect to our self-conception I talked about these two extremes where we hate ourselves or we become narcissistic in terms of just thinking how great I am. So if we correlate these two together, so hating ourselves would be characteristic of which mode? Mode of ignorance, isn’t it? Just look at one weakness and let it define us. And conversely just being narcissistic would be in which mode? Passion, you know I am so good, I am so good, I am so good.
Just look at one thing and just gloat about that, gloat about that. In the mode of goodness we are able to see properly. This is my strengths, these are my weaknesses.
And actually if we go beyond that to transcendence, we see that yes, I have these strengths, I have these weaknesses, but ultimately I am a part of Krishna. And whatever be the situation I am in, it is all a part of Krishna’s plan. Let me just do the best that I can in my situation.
So I will talk about transcendence in a later session. We will talk about when we come to the bhakti perspective. But here the main focus which I like to have is that understanding that the modes shape our perceptions.
And we, if we are in the mode of ignorance, we just as I said feel sorry for ourselves. Now it could be in terms of the weaknesses that we have, it could also be in terms of the bad things that have happened to us. All of us if we go through life, we all get wounded.
Some people let us down, sometimes life just has a nasty turn and all our plans fall apart. We all go through that in life. But if we are in the mode of ignorance, we just keep going on that again and again and again.
The bad things that have happened to us, we keep replaying it, replaying it, replaying it. No, this person did like this, this person did like that, this person did like that. Okay, they did that.
Let’s move on with life, let’s move on with life now. But no, we just keep replaying that again and again and In the mode of passion, we just keep replaying whatever pleasures we might have had and just keep hoping, oh, I will get that pleasure again, I will get that pleasure again. Sense attachment happens because some person has some pleasure, I want again and again and again and again.
Now, yes, certainly we all want to be happy, so what’s wrong with replaying the enjoyable moments that we have had? It’s fine, the important thing is we have a purpose in life. We don’t want to live in the past, whether in the past pleasures or the past pains. We need to move forward in our life.
So, in the mode of ignorance, we may let our own weaknesses define us and say, oh, I am good for nothing. Or we may let our wounds define us. Wounds means that things that have hurt us, things that have hurt us.
This person did like that. All of us have said in our life, sometimes people will let us down. We trust someone and they betray us.
That’s just the way people are in the world. But because of that, if I decide that I will never trust anyone again, and that wound becomes the basis with which I act throughout in the world. All my relationships get filtered through that wound.
Then, I can’t have healthy relationships with anyone, because I am so insecure. I am so fearful. So, the Bhagavad Gita, when it talks about three modes, it is talking about how we shape our perception.
Ultimately, we understand that we are not the body, we are the soul. So, the best, the most complete self-understanding is that I am a soul who is a part of Krishna. At the same time, that soul is in a particular body.
That soul is in a particular mind. And understanding that body and mind is helpful for us to work in our present situation. Suppose that we go from one city to another, and there we hire a car.
When we hire a car, first, before we start off on a long drive, we might just get a feel of the car. How does this car work? How does it, if you press the gas, how fast does it start moving? Do the brakes work well? If it is a familiar brand, we always hire that car, then more or less we know about it. But if, say, a familiar brand car is not available, then we have to get a new brand of the car.
Then we will first feel around to make sense of okay, how does this car actually work? And then we’ll start driving. Similarly, to get proper self- understanding means not just to understand the self to be the soul, but also to understand the kind of the body and mind that the soul has. So the mind has certain impressions within it.
And I’ll talk more about the mind-body mechanism later, where we will discuss about how the modes act on the mind and how self-pity and humility, these are two broad, self-pity, humility and other emotions which come within us because of the, because of the impressions within the mind. So here, I’ll summarise and then we can have some questions. I talked about how the modes distort our self-understanding.
And in that, I started by talking about how many people, a common psychological problem in today’s world is self-loathing. I started before that, if we, if one phone is the only phone we have, then we’ll take great care of it. If a resource is valuable, vital and indispensable, then we take great care of it.
So for each one of us, we ourselves are the most powerful fundamental resource that is valuable, vital and indispensable. So to the extent we can properly use this resource, to the extent we can act constructively more than material and spiritual life. So self-loathing is where we dislike and detest ourselves.
That is usually happens because we have a certain conception of how I should be and that is contradicted by how we are. In the material world, it may be how I should look or how much I should be earning or how much power I should have or how much prestige I should have in society. The spiritual realm it should be, oh I should be this much pure, I should be having the following standards.
Either way, we can have the self-loathing where we start hating ourselves and that is it is a very uncomfortable situation to be in. Just as if we dislike someone and we have to be with that person, we are always very, very uncomfortable. Similarly, if we dislike ourselves, if we are uncomfortable with ourselves, where will we go? We can’t go out of our presence also.
So, redefining our relationship is necessary for us to function properly. So, other extreme could be narcissism where we just irrationally obsess over ourselves. So, both these extremes of self-loathing and self-obsession in terms of narcissism, these are unhealthy and how do these arise? I talked about three modes.
Goodness is characterised by contemplation before action, passion by action before contemplation and ignorance by ignorance. So, neither contemplation nor action, simply delusion. So, in the mode of ignorance, there is the object of consciousness, subject of consciousness and stream of consciousness.
This can be towards the outer world. This can be towards ourselves also. So, in the mode of ignorance, we just take one feature and obsess over that.
So, in the mode of ignorance, we may take one weakness of ours and just let that define us. In the mode of passion, we take one strength and let it define us. We don’t acknowledge our weaknesses.
In goodness, we acknowledge both our strengths and our weaknesses. We learn to manage our weaknesses and use our strengths. Or, so this is with respect to how we are, it could be what happens to us.
We just look at the wounds that we have had and we let those define everything about us. So, when we take one thing to be everything, then that is knowledge in the mode of ignorance. Wherein, we may increase our knowledge but that knowledge only reinforces our ignorant conception of things.
Like we may be biassed against a particular community and we only look at that news of that community which reinforces that bias. Similarly, we may have a particular conception of ourselves and we look at only those actions of ours which reinforce that conception. And in that way, we stay helpless.
So, if we have to change ourselves, if we have to become better, then we have to look at what is not in our control, what is in our control and focus on that which is in our control. So, in the mode of ignorance, we just obsess over what is not in our control and feel sorry for ourselves. In the mode of passion, we think only of that which is in our control and overestimate our capacity.
In the mode of goodness, we learn to balance both, what is in our control and what is beyond our control. In that way, we can have a healthy self- understanding and we can move forwards. So, are there any questions or comments at this stage? Yeah.
So, you mentioned obviously people look at one attribute about a particular entity and then extrapolate to get a conclusion. So, if this conclusion is negative, you mentioned that is obviously a mode of ignorance that should be avoided, can the same be said about looking at one attribute for a particular entity and then having a positive conclusion about that? Is that also a mode of ignorance even though the definition is Okay, good question. So, if you look at one attribute of a particular person and you just define them by that, but if it is a positive attribute, is that also in the mode of ignorance? No, it depends on how we are seeing it.
Say, somebody has some special talent, some devotees are very good singers, then defining identity in the devotee community would be they are singers, but if we think they are only a singer and they are also human beings, they are also a person in their own right. One of India’s most famous cricketer was Sachin Tendulkar. So, he at one time, one of our devotees is interacting with him, so he was telling that how one time India had come to a tour of England or something, an important match was there and before that his back was injured and he couldn’t play.
So, he said whoever he would meet, they would all ask, how is your back? How is your back? How is your back? So, he said, nobody asked me, how am I? So, for the whole country, they are not seeing him as a person, seeing him only as a cricketer who wants to come and play with us. So, he has outstanding batting talent but still he is a person, they are not asking, how are you? How is your back? If your back is good then you will play for us. So, even if you reduce a person also to just one attribute of theirs, then we may be depersonalising them.
Somebody is a very good singer and we want him to sing kirtans but they have got a bad throat, so when we ask, how is your throat? Well, okay, that’s an enquiry, but we don’t reduce the person to their throat, isn’t it? So, that reductionistic vision can be a problem. But if we acknowledging someone’s strengths and also acknowledging their whole personality, this devotee is a very good singer, but they also have their emotions, they also have their needs, they have their likes, so we acknowledge the whole person and we see some outstanding attributes, that is fine. It’s not that we shouldn’t see, some people may just have some weakness and we can’t be blind to their weakness, some people are just forgetful, they are very nice, loving, kind, but they just forget things.
Then, if that is their weakness, we have to be aware of that and if something important is to be done, you know, we may have to remind ourselves to remind them, please get this, they may need 3-4 reminders, so well, if that is the way it is, that is the way it is. So, it’s not that we have to reduce, so I was at one devotee’s house, so they were telling that whenever this Prabhu, his husband is very forgetful, so whenever he goes anywhere, his wife calls him and makes a checklist, have you taken this. When he comes out of temple to the home, she asks him this, have you taken this, taken this, taken this and he will forget his bead bag, he will forget this, he will forget that.
Now, so initially I found it a little odd and they are doing like that but then they said that, I asked the husband, does he feel bad that he always calls him, he says no, we just made peace with this, this is the way I am and she is helping me in this. So now, the wife also does not disrespect her husband, you are so forgetful, no that is a weakness, we all have certain conditionings and when we understand that rather than defining a person by the conditioning, we say you have this conditioning and you are like this, rather than we say that I am here, you are here, you have this conditioning, I have this conditioning. So, let us both come together and help each other fight our conditionings.
So, if somebody has a particular weakness or a particular strength, acknowledging that is good but reducing them to that is bad. So, if somebody has a weakness, we cannot live in denial of that. If somebody is just careless about money and if we make them in charge of accounts of the temple, you know, it is not that they are careless, it is we are careless in giving them that responsibility.
So, acknowledging people’s weaknesses and acknowledging people’s strength is just, it is an observation, it is essential but what I am talking about is equating people with their strengths or weaknesses, that is where the problem comes. Yes, any question? I understood that the spiritual master is bringing the disciples to be expert and also really work on their mode of passion as well. I am just thinking if someone is in mode of ignorance, should we be encouraging them to come to mode of goodness or should we at least get them to passion? Okay, good question.
If somebody is in ignorance, should we try to get them to goodness or should we at least get them to passion? Yeah, whatever works. If somebody is sleeping, while chanting they are sleeping, then better get up and walk. If while sleeping suddenly I will sit and chant attentively, well the mode of ignorance is so strong, again you will go to sleep.
So sometimes rising from the mode of ignorance to the mode of passion is easier. But if I am running around here and there and then I am not able to think clearly, sit down and be a little reflective. So it depends on what level we are at, that what is the next level up for us.
Sometimes we are so much inside our head, you know this may go wrong, that may go wrong, that may go wrong, if I say this, this person will do this, if I say this, they will think like this, if I say this, they will think like this, and you don’t do anything at all, get out of your head, get into the world, do something and then okay, if people think that way, then you can respond properly. So if you are just too much in the head, just get out of the head, people go out for a walk, go out for a ride, get out of the head, so living in the head is living in the mode of ignorance too much, so then sometimes just going out for a walk or going out for a ride may not be in the mode of passion literally, but it is just getting out of the head, doing some activity so that we are not so caught in the head, but sometimes we are running around, our mind is also running around here, there and we need to calm it down and focus on some things, so then we need to get out of the world and get into your heart, look within, plan properly, so what is required when will vary, so basically we have to make sure that we are able to function effectively and we have to help others to function effectively, now what is required for whom to function effectively that will vary from person to person, does it answer your question? Thank you. Any other questions or comments? Okay, yeah, actually I am going to answer this question, I am going to talk about the whole concept of the mind, so would you like to have a 5 minute break and then we will start once again and we will continue till 1 o’clock, is that okay? So we had an hour session, so 12, maybe 12.20, 12.20, 12.25 we will meet and then we will go on till 1, 1.10, something like that, so we will answer that time, thank you.