How can birthday celebrations be made more traditional and spiritual?

(I am grateful to HH Bhakti Rasamrita Maharaj for providing valuable guidance in answering this question)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xsONG81bmI

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Hare Krishna. Question. How can we make birthday celebrations of devotees as traditional and spiritual as possible? Answer.
Firstly, it is not necessary to celebrate birthdays. But for those devotees who, for whatever reasons, need to or have to or want to celebrate birthdays, they should try to make the celebrations as spiritual and traditional as possible. Now another point is that traditional and spiritual are not necessarily the same things.
Spiritual means that which is connected with Krishna. Traditional means that which has been going on for a long time and has become a tradition now. So now everything traditional is definitely not spiritual.
For example, in India, there is a tendency among some devotees to equate Indian culture, Indian traditional culture with spiritual culture. There are definitely many aspects of India’s traditional culture which are very conducive for spirituality. But there are several significance which are very hostile.
For example, the discriminatory caste system, which are the whole social system by which lower caste people or outcasts were not allowed to enter into temples. Chaitanya Mahaprabhu did not approve that. Srila Prabhupada did not approve that.
And he said, Lord Jagannath is Jagannath. Why are you making him Hindunath by not allowing non-Hindu disciples inside the temples? So first, it is not that everything traditional is necessarily spiritual. But yes, traditional forms do help us in in fostering a spiritual consciousness.
So we try to preserve the traditional forms as much as possible. Now, how can we do this? How can we make the birthday celebrations as traditional and spiritual as possible? I consulted several devotees on this. And especially, I am grateful to the inputs of His Holiness Bhaktira Samvat Maharaj on this topic.
So with respect to let’s traditional and spiritual. So we will look at the content of the birthday festivals and then we look at the intent of the birthday festivals. So the content, how can we make it traditional? And then we can look at the intent, how that should be spiritual.
So now as far as the content is concerned, the most anti-spiritual element of birthday celebrations is the blowing of candles. Actually, there is no logical reason for blowing candles at all. It is a medieval European superstition that that people are considered to be possessed by as many evil spirits as is their age.
And therefore, by blowing as many candles as there are, as is the age of a person, that many evil spirits are excoriated, are driven out. This is a rank superstition. So this is a good example of how modern people often think that religious people are superstitious.
But here we have a very good example of modernity being unthinkingly, uncritically, blindly superstitious in following something which is entirely irrational and has no logical footing. And now all the more so from the spiritual perspective, switching off lights is inauspicious, especially blowing away a candle. Devotees, when they blow away a candle and we want to extinguish a light, we actually use our hand and fan gently because we understand that that light is Agni.
Agni is a manifestation of the light of wisdom. Agni is also a manifestation of the God Agni. And we should not, actually, fire is considered sacred in the Vedic tradition.
Certainly, fire should not be switched off by blowing a breath. So, first of all, blowing off a fire flame is inauspicious. Blowing it off with a mouth is actually disrespectful.
And blowing it with a mouth on a cake, you know, basically, then the birthday person, that person is basically sprinkling his or her birthday, her Mahaprasad saliva on the whole cake and giving everyone the Mahasaliva, saliva as Mahaprasad. So, that should, if devotees are going to celebrate birthdays, the candles should definitely be avoided. Now, there is no need to conform to something which is anti-spiritual and illogical, just in the name of fashion.
Now, going further, with respect to the cake. So, the cake is often considered to be, the central element, cutting the cake is considered a central ritual of the birthday celebrations. Now, actually speaking, again, the link between birthday and cake is also just plain historical.
There is nothing intrinsically connected between a birthday and a cake. But somehow the cake has come to represent celebration. And a birthday cake cutting or any victory cake cutting or whatever, it has become a tradition.
So, it has become a tradition which has nothing spiritual in it. So, now, if you want to break free from that tradition, that what is a non-spiritual tradition, then we can even avoid having the cake. Certainly, if devotees are going to have cakes, then they should be vegetarian cakes.
And if you try to make sure, absolutely sure that whoever has made the cakes, they have made the cakes eggless. And often it may be the best to get it from some devotee makers only. Because many commercial makers may say that certain product is vegetarian, but it may not be vegetarian at all.
And of course, if the cake can be made at home, no doubt it is very challenging to make, often big cakes for a large party. But if they can be made, then there is the love of the mother, the love of the other family members and those who love. And then all that comes out.
And that actually becomes much more personal, human and devotional if the family members are devotees. But certainly the cake, if at all is to be used, should be vegetarian. But if you want to be more traditional, we can even, you know, why should we cut a cake? We can just have nice Mahaprasad that is distributed to everyone.
And there is nothing intrinsically special about cutting a cake. You could cut a samosa, you could cut anything else. But of course, there may be certain sentiments associated with certain activities.
And we don’t have to necessarily, if certain activities evoke certain memories and people have strong feelings about certain things, it’s not necessary that it has to be given up. So certainly now all that I’m saying about this, it is a recommendation and none of this is something which should be made. It’s worth fighting a war over, nothing to wage a campaign against, either for or against.
But this is just a suggestion of how things can be made more traditional and spiritual. Now, beyond that, there is the singing of the Hare Krishna tune. So often that is the same tune as happy birthday to you.
Now, some devotees may find it very, very sweet and moving to have the material ritual spiritualized in this way. Again, just singing up in a particular tune is also material. Now, some may find it a watering down of the Hare Krishna tune being used for a particular purpose.
This depends on individual sensibility. But essentially, we are trying to remember Krishna. And that certainly, rather than just having happy birthday, we can definitely have Hare Krishna tune.
And Prabhupada was actually, the idea that Prabhupada is only traditional is not necessarily true. Actually, for example, right in the Darshan Aarti, Prabhupada had George Harrison and Yamuna Mataji and their whole group. Their Govindamadi Purusham institutionalized as the daily worship offering in all the temples of ISKCON.
Initially, actually, when the devotees had made it and Prabhupada did not come to know about it, it became very popular. But one day the devotees got it and then they thought that, OK, this is the modern western music, western tunes. Prabhupada won’t like it very much.
But somehow they just thought that when Prabhupada is going to take Darshan, they will play it at that time. And Prabhupada was so moved by it. There are not many occasions on which Prabhupada showed personal, showed ecstasy publicly with tears in his eyes and withdrawing so deep into his relationship with Krishna that he just couldn’t do anything except have tears coming down his eyes.
So this was one of those occasions. So Prabhupada was not just pandering to modern sensibilities, modern people who want to hear modern music, but he was actually very devotionally moved by it, spiritually inspired by it. So it’s not that spiritual substance has to come only through traditional forms.
Spiritual substance and spiritual substance of such a high caliber that it can move even a pure devotee to tears, that spiritual substance can come even through non-traditional forms. So the Hare Krishna tune is one thing that if certainly Hare Krishna tune should be sung and it depends if somebody feels very uncomfortable with the Hare Krishna tune sung in exactly the same way as a happy birthday to you tune, then the tune can be changed also. But one shouldn’t make it a big issue again because the spiritual can manifest even through forms which are non-traditional as the Govinda Madhipurusham example conveys.
Now beyond that, further if we look at the form, generally speaking, what happens in a birthday celebration? There are various ways in which people celebrate, but basically people come together, people offer some gifts to the person whose birthday is there and then that person, they may speak some words to him and then basically they just, it’s an occasion for socializing and often the gifts that are given, they often become a competition of ego and prestige, you know, who is given how much gift, how much money have I spent, how much money I have got, the whole thing can often become very materialistic also. But the point is when devotees come together, there should be a central spiritual element. So if it is possible, one can invite some senior devotee and the senior devotee can give a class, then essentially it becomes a satsang.
It can be a short class, that is also okay, but it becomes a clear satsang program. So the birthday festival just becomes a forum where one is doing satsang, it was a takeoff point for satsang. Now if the mood is more of celebration and say one is also called non-devotee friends, who may not appreciate lecture so much.
Actually, it may well be that one can call non-devotee friends for one’s birthday celebration and they may like the devotional culture of appreciation and spiritualization of a birthday celebration and they may be open to even hear a class at that time and the other times they might not be open. So then it can even become an opportunity for sharing Krishna consciousness in an intimate and sweet cultural setting to people. With those who have a personal relationship or at least some relationship.
But if for whatever reason a lecture is not possible, then we can have at least kirtans, adequate amount of kirtans, so that the center stays Krishna and that way basically there is a satsanga and the form becomes largely spiritual. In fact, you know, if people, if somebody would just come from outside and see, if that person say saw at a time and the cake cutting or whatever is already over, then that might just seem like a satsang program entirely. So that can be the spiritualization of the form.
Now, as far as the making the form as traditional as possible. Now, coming to the spiritual part also, the mood has to be clear. What is the mood? It is not that we want others to come and give us gifts and we are going to show them how much, how big a party we can throw and we want to see how big gifts they can give.
That should not at all be the mood. The mood is actually to seek blessings, to seek blessings. So the devotee whose birthday is there, that devotee or the devotee’s family members or whoever, they’re all arranging this festival, this celebration.
And the celebration is not just to center the, not just to center the attention on the body, but is actually to recognize that this body is the center, the body is actually an opportunity for us to serve Krishna and serving Krishna requires the blessings of other devotees. So it requires their good wishes. So now those other devotees may speak some appreciation.
That appreciation should not be taken at the level of ego. I am so great. It should be taken as encouragement.
And the whole mood should be that this is an occasion when we can seek the blessings of others, the good wishes of others by which we can move onwards in our devotional service. So this way and this mood is very important that actually it is. And then the whole idea is that the mood at the end of it is I am one year closer to going back to Krishna.
I am one year closer to ending my material existence. So that way when we do the birthday can become a marker for actually the onward progress of our spiritual journey back towards Krishna. So in this way we can make this birthday celebrations traditional and spiritual.
Spiritual actually comes primarily not just by conforming to the traditional forms, but by actually ensuring that there is a mood of service to the Vaishnavas, the devotee who is celebrating the birthday. The idea is not that they are all coming for my birthday celebration. I am such a big person so many people are coming.
No, the idea should be I am getting an opportunity to serve so many devotees. So the devotees will come and they will give their blessings, they will give their good wishes depending on their relationships with me. But then I get an opportunity, I get an opportunity to serve them prasad.
Certainly the food that is served should be food that is offered to Krishna so that it is prasad. And even if there are non devotees who are coming to see that also as an opportunity to at least share Krishna prasad with them so that they will be benefited. And in devotee celebrations the focus should not be too much on giving gifts.
Yes, one may have non devotee friends who may give gifts and one can graciously accept their gifts as their token of affection. But in devotee circles we should not make it a big issue who gives how big a gift. And we shouldn’t try to evaluate people’s affection based on the magnitude, the price of their gift.
Often we can just give a greeting card with Krishna picture on it, with somebody’s picture on it. And write a few words of appreciation how that devotee has helped us in our spiritual life. Or we may appreciate that devotee and just offer good wishes and our prayers and even nothing else.
So that way the gifts need not be too much of a part in that. Actually the whole idea is that if the mood is to seek blessings, then receiving the good wishes and blessings is the greatest gift that a devotee should want. And devotee parents should also want for their children that blessing of the good wishes.
And good wishes and blessings are not just something that can come only from devotees. Even our elders, they have lived in this world, they have maturity and we should So Krishna says that one of the austerity of the mind is to also offer respects to the god and the gods, to the brahmanas, to the teachers, the gurus and the prajna. Those who are advanced in knowledge.
So elderly people often have experience and wisdom. So we can seek their blessings and good wishes also. So the gift that we should really be looking forward and cherishing in the birthday celebration, if you are celebrating is the gift of good wishes and blessings and not so much whatever things that they give as gifts.
And that way we can make the birthday, when the birthday celebration is celebrated, at that time it can be made as Krishna centered, as spiritually uplifting for us as possible. Thank you.