How can I protect my bhakti when I go home and am with my pre-bhakti friends with whom I had indulged in bad habits?

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
question whenever I go home and mix with my former friends from my non devotee days at that time I tend to relapse back into my bad habits of the past how can I deal with this situation answer answer first of all we need to recognize that we are all weak and vulnerable the Ramayan gives the example of Sugriva who committed to help lord Ram but then when he was living in opulence with Tara and Brahma he forgot his promise and lost himself in indulgence and then when he was living like that it was only Lakshmana’s anger and Hanuman’s timely advice that saved him from disaster so was Sugriva insincere that he forgot his promise and got into indulgence no he was just a he was a victim of his circumstance and he did not recognize his weakness so after having lived in austerity in deprivation for many years living in constant fear of Vali when suddenly he got back into his circumstance of opulence and enjoyment he became overwhelmed to his credit however when he remembered when he was reminded he immediately took up the responsibility properly and arranged for fulfilling his promise by first searching for Sita and assisting lord Ram in the regaining of Sita so this pastime illustrates that how even someone who is who has the direct association of the lord not just the direct association but also the direct demonstration of the extraordinary power of the lord can also fall to Maya and so it can at one level seem a frightening pastime and another level it is also a hope giving pastime because he did pick himself up and he recovered and he became a glorious associate of the lord in subsequent war so now the same principle we could say in a small way applies to us if we put ourselves or if we are put in circumstances that we are not ready to face that we are not strong enough to face then we may fall so what can we do in such situations there are broad principles specifics will vary according to person to person so first and most important principle is that we shouldn’t expose ourselves to more temptation than is necessary that means even if we have to go and meet with our non devotee friends we don’t have to do that in situations that are likely to compromise our standards that means we don’t have to say sit and watch movies with them or go to or go and join in anti devotional activities that we might have been doing earlier we may have just a social visit of courtesy to continue the friendship but we have to do that in neutral or safe ground and naturally there is peer pressure which may push us into doing certain things which we may regret later but forewarned is forearmed so if we know in advance that yes we are going to likely to face pressure then we can plan in advance this is what I will do and that way I can deal with the situation second point is that although we don’t have to aggressively talk about Krishna consciousness it is good to let our friends know about our change values so that may create some hostility initially but basically if they know what we are doing and why we are doing it then although they may still not agree with us they may not find what we are doing acceptable but at the very least it will be intelligible so in many situations especially if we are not in a situation where we are say in a company where our job is dependent on such things just friend circle where we are it is not that we are financially or professionally dependent on them then it is good to tell them about our Krishna consciousness and tell them about what we stand for and where we stand so that way we will be able to in one sense be forced by our words to live according to our principles so of course we don’t have to stamp it in their face and say that you are all fallen and things like that we can just present it objectively this is what I this is what I have understood and this is how I want to live and I respect our friendship but my values my priorities have changed I want to live according to certain principles and these activities I will not be doing we don’t have to go specifically and mention it if it is not appropriate but where it is required we can do that as I said specifics will vary one of the things that makes us weak is if we can get the notion of privacy and anonymity so if no one knows that we are devotees and we just mix into the crowd doing what what is considered hip by them that is that might make us feel that yes I can get away with it let me just let me just splurge for some time let me just enjoy for some time but if we talk about our principles then to some extent it becomes you know it becomes a matter of our honor for us to live according to our words and although it might seem egoistic actually it is a matter of anything that helps us to come closer to Krishna stay closer to Krishna is anupul to bhakti another thing is that even among the friend circle that we are in we can find those friends who are relatively relatively somewhat sattvic and relatively less materialistic in any social group there are people who are across the spectrum and all the most may be involved in gross sensuality not all will be and those who are not involved thus in gross sensuality we can invite them to we can try to focus on them and befriend them more and that way we will not go into danger zone too much and who knows that this kind of friends who are relatively somewhat sattvic they may even be more open to devotion and then we may even have the association of someone who is devotionally inclined and that may protect us also in our devotion so that is one more way there is one way so basically by not exposing ourselves to unnecessary dangerous circumstances by informing people about our principles and by finding those who are the least hostile and the most congenial about our devotion and focusing on that friend circle we can protect ourselves beyond that there are situations where we can plan properly okay I am going for this many days and these are the things that I will do over here so often as we know that the idle mind is the devil’s workshop so when we stay idle then we often open ourselves to all kinds of schemes and mind schemes for enjoyment and if there are friends who facilitate that enjoyment then it becomes that much easier and quicker to to relapse so if we plan okay when I am going to this I will do this this this this okay maybe I will read these books I will hear this I will yes there are it’s not that we have to do all devotional activities we may also do some home responsibilities or some other activities which we can share with our friends whatever is appropriate but just keep yourself constructively engaged and also as we often hear in the story of the our heart can be with Krishna and devotees that means we can still have some contact with devotees through phone calls, emails messages and nowadays now with internet we can also connect with temple darshans and so many other things which can boost our which can give us a connection with Krishna even when we are physically stood at a place which is not close to devotee association so that way by keeping by basic principle is that we create as many obstacles between us and the relapse as possible and we try to connect we try to create as many connections as possible within ourselves and Krishna so as I said making regular phone calls making plans to read and hear regularly making staying in contact with Krishna through various ways these are ways we are connecting with Krishna and the earlier point is that we create obstacles so now in spite of that if we have some relapses we don’t have to get discouraged too much because we know that the path towards spiritual advancement is fraught with danger and danger doesn’t have to become disaster unless we we reject our intelligence and conscience and dive into danger as if it’s pleasure so it may happen once twice then we learn from the situation and then we can strategize and get over it praying to Krishna and seeking his help is extremely important Krishna says that he will give us intelligence by which we can come back to him so that intelligence is also very vital for us in order to find out in specific situations how to apply the broad principles for our protection and by Krishna’s guidance we will be able to deal with the situation effectively and we will be able to come out of the problem so overall as we become stronger in bhakti then we will find that the circumstance we are in we can still say strong even if the circumstance is not so strong but the important point is that when we have devotee association now actually even if we have some relapses the relapses are like spikes and overall if our consciousness is set on the path of purification those relapses will gradually decrease and go away so what we should focus on is never get disheartened and when we have the opportunity for association purification during that time we maximize that opportunity and we take as much association and try to get ourselves as much purified as possible in this way even if we are sort of beaten and wounded during the occasions when we are in vulnerable circumstances so the remaining time if we are recovering and strengthening ourselves then gradually we will become strong enough to overcome these difficulties as I have written in the Gita Irelia article we may fall down but we don’t have to fall away fall down means that because of certain circumstances force of the circumstances we may fall down but we may fall from the standards but falling away means going away from Krishna so no matter what happens we should never become so discouraged thinking that I am so weak that I can never become strong in Bhakti and let me therefore give up the practice of Bhakti that attitude should not be entertained it can be entirely given up no matter how many times we have relapses still Krishna is always waiting for us in our heart and as we connect with him to the best of our capacity and gradually with the strength that he gives the relapses will become lesser and then they will end