How can we avoid being affected by things not in our control?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
So, what can we do to not be affected by the things which are not in our control? See, it’s not that we can avoid being affected.
We’d all be affected. Because those things matter to us. But what we are considering is the magnitude of the effect.
If I think only about the things which are not in my control, then I become totally disempowered. I feel like a victim. But if I focus on that which is under my control, then I get a sense of urgency.
I can do something. So generally, whenever we face any problem, basically we have three alternatives. One is change ourselves.
Second is change the situation. Change ourselves means tolerate it. Change the situation means get more control.
Third is walk away from the situation. I just don’t want to be involved in this. So, now each of these approaches may work at different times.
Sometimes we may have an argument with a friend. And then, why is this person behaving like this? Why is he, why is she talking like this? We feel irritated. Now, there are three options.
One is that we try to change ourselves. I was a little insensitive. I was short-tempered.
I was not understanding. So I can change myself. The other is we try to change the other person.
Talk with them, help them. Help them to see things from our perspective. Help them to see how what they did hurt us, why it hurt us.
And help them to change. And sometimes I would say, you know, this is not working. I don’t want to continue this.
All three options can work at different times. So, basically when we say that things are not under our control, that doesn’t mean that we just neglect them or just become passive about them. It is just that we operate from a platform where we have a sense of agency.
Sense this, I am doing something about this. And the problem becomes disempowering when the problem makes us feel powerless. But when we can see there is something which I can do, then we can practically work on it.
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