​How can we avoid judging others?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
If we have an inherent tendency to judge others, how can we avoid that or at least avoid expressing that? Yeah.
See, there is the judgmental mentality comes because we often put ourselves in a superior position. One thing is discerning. Discerning means, okay, understand this, somebody is in an upset mood, at that time we start to give them some further, we may speak out to them, that means further agitate those people.
So, there is discerning, what is favorable, what is unfavorable. That can and that should be done. But that is done in not in a judgmental mood, but it’s in a more of a humble mood.
It’s like say, somebody is sick. At that time, if I go and tell some unpleasant news to them, it’s going to worsen their condition. Sometimes if somebody is sick, we don’t tell them this news, let them recover, then we can talk about these things.
So, that is simply sensitivity. So, we cannot just go around the world close to how people are disposed, what they are thinking, how they are living. We cannot go through life like that.
We can and we should be able to read people in terms of what their natures are, what their moods are. But rather than labeling people according to their natures and moods, we can, especially if we study the Bhagavad Gita, we understand that everyone is at their core a pure soul. Now, the soul is essentially part of God, the soul is essentially pure.
But there are different kinds of conditioning. So, the conditioning that are there, they’re basically like a disease. So, we don’t label people according to the disease that they have.
As the disease is there, if it is there, we have to be aware of that. But just because the disease is there doesn’t mean that we have to equate that person with that disease. So, if the disease is there, we may have to appropriately deal with it.
Somebody has got an infectious disease, at that time, if we are going there, we may have to put a mask or something or we have to keep a distance or whatever. That’s just practical measure. But we are not judging the person at that time.
So, similarly, if somebody is known to be a little irritable, then rather than labeling that person as irritable, we will focus on this, I have to deal with a little more sensitive. So, it’s not that they as a soul are pure, but they are having some conditionings. And sometimes people say that, you know, my wavelengths doesn’t match with them.
They think in a different way, I think in a different way. Yes, it’s possible wavelengths may not match at times. But then if we have to do work with someone, if we have a relationship with someone, then humility means to change our wavelength so that it matches.
So, we have to, we cannot change our wavelength permanently or completely. But at least to some extent, we can adjust. So, being sensitive does help in small, small things can make a big difference in relationships.
So, basically recognizing that we don’t equate the behavior with the person. We don’t think that this is the, this is characteristic of their bodily conditioning, and they are separate from that. Our focus should be on trying to bring out the positive side, bring out their pure side.
When we label them for what they are presently are, then we perpetuate their behavior like that. If you say that you are always irritable, and you tell them like that, and what happens is, then they become irritable about being labeled as irritable. And that it just becomes worse.
So, even if they are labels, we see it’s not possible for us to, to go around in the world with closed eyes. So, certainly, when we observe some things, we will think about some things. But if we recognize if we do that in an exercise, you know, I said in the Ramayana, Hanuman when he first saw Ravana, in the Royal Assembly, his first thought was, he’s so powerful.
He’s such a commanding leader. If only he had been on the side of the gods instead of against the gods, he could have done so much work, glorious service. So, actually, Ravana was the enemy for Hanuman.
But even in Ravana, Hanuman saw the potential for good. Of course, Ravana had no intention of developing that potential. But still, the fact that Hanuman saw the potential even in Ravana, that is, everybody has faults.
We all have faults. And especially in Kali Yuga, all of us have a lot of faults. So, in Kali Yuga, finding faults in others is as clever as finding water in an ocean.
It’s there everywhere. Kali Yuga is an ocean of faults. But if when we are lost in the ocean, we find land, that is of some use.
Water is everywhere. Similarly, everybody has faults. But if you see some good in people, that is like finding the land.
And then we can actually help those people to develop by that. So, we can avoid seeing the bad. But by remembering that the bad is different from the core person and focusing on the good within that person, we can try to bring more stability and maturity in that relationship.