How can we avoid pride without going into self-pity?
From Mishri
Self pity is opposite of pride. but in our practice just to avoid the pride we try to be humble and that turns out to be self pity. It is very difficult to be exact what we want to be.
Transcript
This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Hare Krishna.
Question from Mishri. How can we clearly differentiate between self-pity and humility? When we, self-pity is opposite to pride. But in our practice, just to avoid pride, we try to be humble and that turns out to be self-pity.
It is very difficult to be exact what we want to be. Answer, first of all, we do not have to go into a hyper introspective mode that can often lead to paralysis by analysis, where we just live in our head too much thinking what I am feeling about myself. At a sadhaka stage, in many ways, the essence of bhakti is practical service.
Vishala Prabhupada also writes in the Nectar Instruction that devotional service is not sentimental speculation or imaginative ecstasy. Its substance is practical service. So we should always be engaged in service of Krishna in different ways, whatever is practical for us, whatever inspires us, whatever is asked for us by senior devotees.
The important thing is that we keep doing service of Krishna, serving great service to Krishna and our inner disposition inspires us in our service. It doesn’t discourage us in our service. That is what is important.
Now, how this may be practically implemented will vary from person to person. So the difference with, we want to avoid pride. What does that mean? That means that we don’t seek glory.
We don’t seek recognition and praise for ourselves. Is that necessarily the simplest meaning of pride? Not necessarily. Pride essentially means that we are the center of our thoughts and not Krishna and his service.
If we are doing service to Krishna nicely and then some other devotees appreciate us for that service. It’s not that we are proud at that time. And it’s also there is a human reciprocation.
When if we do some service, we try to do our service diligently, then we expect, okay, you know, are the devotees pleased with my service? So when others sometimes appreciate us, that may not be taken as a sign of, that may not make us proud. That can also make us inspired to serve Krishna more. Conversely, if others neglect our service, we may feel disheartened.
Is my service actually pleasing devotees, pleasing Krishna? Should I be doing this or should I be doing something else? So naturally, the important point is that we keep doing service. We don’t be self-centered. So if service uses appreciation, we accept that appreciation.
If service doesn’t bring appreciation, then we understand that, okay, this is the way Krishna wants me to serve in this situation. I’ll happily do that. So when our thoughts are exclusive, excessively or exclusively about ourselves, and they are also centered on, oh, I’m not good for this.
I’m not good for that. I can’t do that. Then that is self-pity.
But humility would mean, okay, if in a particular service I try to do, and I find that I’m not able to do it well. So devotees don’t, so nobody notices me, nobody appreciates me. And then I feel that, okay, I cannot do this service.
Now that can be honest realization also, okay, I’m not very good for this service. At this service, maybe I can find out what I am good at, so that I can make an effective contribution. So humility, self-pity would mean, oh, I’m good for nothing.
I’m good for nothing. I’m good for nothing. And just staying in that mode, humility would mean, okay, I’m a finite being.
There’ll be certain things I’m not good at. So, okay, I accept that I’m not good at this. What can I do? What other service can I do well? Service which inspires me and which contributes to others also.
So humility would mean that we’ll be ready to shift, be flexible to find out how we can serve Krishna. As Kunti Maharani says that, Ganga flows towards the ocean. Similarly, let my consciousness flow towards you.
So our consciousness flows towards Krishna largely through service. So self-pity would mean just feeling sorry for ourselves. Humility would mean doing the service which inspires us and contributes to Krishna’s cause.
And if we find one doesn’t work, rather than getting piqued or annoyed or dejected by that, we find other services. And over a period of time, we’ll find out the service which we can do well, and we will be able to go on steadily in devotional service. So the difference between humility and self-pity is, self-pity is self-centered.
Humility is Krishna-centered. And we focus more and more on serving Krishna. So our focus should not even just be avoiding pride.
Because we may have, yes, we definitely want to avoid pride. But avoiding pride doesn’t mean that we should avoid service. Because I can sing nicely and people appreciate my singing.
Therefore, if I sing, I’ll become proud. So I will not sing. No, that shouldn’t be the attitude.
Okay, let me sing. But let me think about Krishna and pleasing Krishna. And even when others appreciate me, let me see that actually.
Okay, I’m helping them remember Krishna. And they’re encouraging me to do the service. But if I get caught up in the praise that they’re offering me, then by my service, they will be remembering Krishna, but I will not be remembering Krishna.
I’ll be remembering myself and my own glories. So that is undesirable. So by sharp introspection like this, we can do service and do it well and avoid pride.
So avoiding pride doesn’t have to take us towards self-pity at all. If we find out a service that inspires us, that which can do well, and we keep doing that service diligently, and we are ready to switch services when we find that we are not good at one service, we can do some other service, or we find that there are some complications in one service, then being willing to change and find a new way to serve Krishna is also humility. Thank you.