How can we avoid struggling in vain to control situations that are not in our control?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
not in our control, and we need to just let Krishna do the best for us. Still, we often tend to try to find some way out instead of just, and then we realize we have wasted our time in trying to find a solution. See, basically, it is not that we are, see, we are also conscious beings.
And as conscious beings, Krishna has given us control also. In the Bhagavad Gita, the soul is also called as Ishvara. But the soul is not a Parameshwara.
So, we have little control. And then for us to let go of that control is not easy. Because we have that, it is not necessarily a bad thing.
See, the spiritual master also controls the disciples. But that is in the service to Krishna. So, our controllership, whatever little controlling capacity we have, that is meant to be in service of Krishna’s controllership.
So, the parents are meant to, say, take care of the children, materially, spiritually. Taking care means, to some extent, putting some limits, controlling to some extent. So, it’s not that we can be ever expected to, just as we can’t stop consciousness.
The feature of consciousness is desiring. And then when we desire, we see things, we desire things, and we want to control them. So, the problem is not controlling itself.
The problem is controlling in a way that is independent of Krishna, that takes us away from Krishna. So, we see that there are, in the Bible, towards the end, you know, Jesus says, let thy will be done. It is surrender.
Like Kundalini also raises her hand and says, surrender. Let thy will be done. But then at the end of the Bhagavad Gita, we have Arjuna saying, He’s saying, I will do your will.
So, Arjuna, he doesn’t raise his hands in surrender. When he surrenders, he raises his bow in readiness to fight. So, that is also surrender.
But his way of surrendering is different. So, basically, we need to redefine, because just as we can’t give up desires. So, what we are told is, just spiritualize our desires.
Desire things in devotional service. Similarly, it’s not possible for us to give up the controlling mentality. But what we need to do is, we need to control in the service of Krishna.
So, what that means is, there are some situations in which we can control externals. Yes, I’ll plan this and make this happen. And that’s what we do when we are coordinating some events, assisting in some service.
We have to control. We get things done. In some situations, we just don’t have the power or the facility or the circumstance to control.
So, at that time, we just have to think in a different way, rather than thinking that, oh, I can’t do anything. I’m just powerless. The idea for us is, so to think that I can’t do anything, that is actually very disempowering.
Just like when we tell a person, don’t do this, they feel deprived. So, like that, for us, it’s very difficult to acknowledge that I can’t do anything. So, instead, we can even think in that situation that I still have control over my own thoughts, over my consciousness.
So, sometimes, we just need to trick the mind. Actually, essentially the same thing. Instead of saying, I don’t have control over my circumstances, I’m saying, I still have control over my thoughts.
I still have control over my consciousness. And then, so it’s like our controlling capacity begins with our consciousness and expands outwards. So, sometimes, if we are in a company where we are in a big position, so we may have control over 50 people.
Other times, we are in a smaller position where we may have just control over 5 people. If we are retired, you know, we may have control over no one except ourselves. So, our controlling capacity, that changes as per time, place, circumstance.
This is a normal part of life and it has happened to devotees also. So, when we see that in this situation, my controlling capacity is over only my consciousness, then let me control my consciousness and fix it in Krishna. So, if you think of it that way, not that we are letting go, rather we are taking charge of that which is in our control and offering it to Krishna.
Then, the whole concept of surrender, it doesn’t seem like disempowering. It seems that, yes, I’m still having some control. I’m using that control in Krishna’s service.
And sometimes, it may also work out that because one difficult thing is that how do I really know that nothing is in my control? I might still feel something will work out. So, let me try it. So, then, rather than letting the mind keep us in that duality, you know, maybe I should try this.
This will work out. Maybe I should try. This will work out.
And then we just keep obsessing over the problem constantly. Rather than that, we can decide, okay, I’m facing this problem and I will give this much time to deal with this. Maybe in a day, in a week, in a fortnight, in a month, whatever.
And in this time, I’ll think, I’ll plan and I’ll do something. It works out well and good. Because life isn’t present only with one problem.
Sometimes when one problem, we give a lot of time, then that problem seems to become bigger and bigger and bigger. But we just decide, okay, I have tried enough on this problem. Now, it’s not worked out.
So, I’ll just focus on making sure that my consciousness stays focused on Krishna. Sometimes we have to see, if somebody comes and steals our money, we’ll fight to protect it. Somebody comes and steals our property, we’ll fight to protect it.
But you know, sometimes, what about our consciousness? Now, you just have to think in a more, you can be more possessive about our consciousness, you know. If somebody is troubling us, you know, is this person worth so much of my mental time? Is this situation, is this problem worth so much of my consciousness, so much time I’m spending on this? So, just like if physically somebody comes and just starts taking our time a lot, then we’ll just say a firm no, you know. Okay, we’ll be polite, but we’ll be firm.
So, like that, sometimes, some situations just take a lot of our mental time. So, that time, we are actually not even solving the problem. We are just agonizing over the problem.
So, it’s best to, so the same action we may have to do, but we have to do it with a more, we have to look at it more positively. Not that I am just giving up. See, bhakti is not so much about giving up, it is about going up.
Going up means rising in our consciousness. So, I just don’t want to fight at this level now. For enough at this level, I’ll raise my consciousness upwards.
So, if we have this positive attitude, what I am doing is, I’m adopting a different approach, not that I’m just giving up over here. I’m focusing on controlling my consciousness. I’m focusing on ensuring that problems don’t take more of my time than what they are worth.
So, then that way, with a positive attitude, whatever it is that we want to do, our determination will work, our willpower will work for us instead of against us. So, when we feel deprived, then our desires, our willpower, you know, why can’t I do this? Why can’t I do this? I’m doing this, I’m going to focus on my consciousness right now. This is what I’m going to do.
Then that way, we can turn towards the positive. Then our own intelligence, our own willpower, our own desires, they work for us. Because we feel we are doing something.
Does that answer your question? Yes, yes. Thank you.