How can we become more disciplined?

Podcast:

---

Disclaimer: This transcript was generated using AI and may contain occasional errors or inaccuracies.

Summary

True self-discipline is not about setting impossible standards and feeling guilty; it is a sustainable process of understanding and expanding your personal capacity.

Key Highlights on Building Self-Discipline

• Assess Your Real Capacity First: Avoid setting unrealistic goals—like sleeping at midnight and waking at 3 AM—that lead to immediate failure and destroy self-trust.

• Embrace a Gradual Approach: Shift from radical, abrupt changes to incremental steps, aligning with the wisdom of progressing “step by step” (Shanaih Shanaih).

• Focus on Consistency Over Size: Achieving a small goal consistently (like reading one page daily) builds more momentum and self-trust than failing at a massive one.

• Practice Internal Dialogue: Use a constructive inner dialogue between the “teacher” and the “student” within yourself to navigate daily expectations realistically.

• Cultivate a Healthy Relationship with Yourself: Move away from toxic guilt and constant frustration over shortcomings; instead, anchor your identity in your eternal spiritual self rather than temporary conditioning.

• Balance Pushing and Understanding: True self-elevation requires a healthy mix of gentle self-compassion and realistic, steady personal drive.

Key Takeaways

• Set achievable goals: Start with small, manageable targets you know you can win, leading to 365 pages read or consistent habits formed over a year.

• Prioritize the soul over the label: Remember you are an eternal soul valued by Krishna, rather than drowning your growth in a cycle of constant self-blame and guilt.

Full Transcription

Any other questions? So how can we discipline ourselves more? Well, discipline involves basically two aspects. That first is we need to understand our capacity first.
And then second is we have to extend our capacity. So that involves basically it’s trust. Trusting ourselves.
Say suppose we set an alarm to wake up at 3 o’clock after we have slept at 12 o’clock. When we set the alarm itself, we know we are not going to wake up. But some we set an unrealistic rule.
And then by that we not only don’t just lose it or switch it off and then wake up at 7 o’clock or 8 o’clock or whatever, we not only don’t actually stick to the alarm, but we also lose both trust in our judgment and in our self-discipline. So we should not set goals that are unrealistic for us. Okay, if I normally need 7 hours sleep, maybe I can do with 6 hours sleep.
So if I’m sleeping at 12, I can set an alarm at 6. If I want to wake up at 3, then I have to organize my life in such a way that I can sleep at 9. So first is that, that’s why understanding our capacity. We can extend our capacity, but we cannot do it abruptly and we cannot do it excessively in anything. So that’s why this process of understanding our capacity, this is what I can do.
And then extend ourselves a little bit and set a goal accordingly. So by that we will learn to trust ourselves. So trusting ourselves means that if I resolve to do something, I can do it.
That’s why in the initial stages, the important thing is not how big a goal we set, as it is that we achieve the goal we set. Even if it is a small thing. Instead of saying that I’ll read one hour Bhagavatam every day.
I can say that I will read at least one page Bhagavatam every day. Start with that. Even if it’s one page, how much am I going to read? Well, to surprise with 365 days, it’s going to be 365 pages.
So one full canto. It’s not a big thing, but it’s not a small thing also. So start with a goal that we can achieve.
And then gradually we will develop a… शनेशनेः परमेत बुध्धादुति गुरूहि तया आत्मसंस्तम्मनः कृत्वान किन्चितविजिन्तेः शनेशनेः Gradually, step by step, Krishna says. In his 6th chapter, which is also actually about yoga, who are renouncing the world and going to the forest. There Krishna is, even in what we would consider radical renunciation, going away from the world, Krishna is actually advocating an incremental approach, a gradual approach.
शनेशनेः परमेत gradually, step-by-step. Yuktahar viharasya. So, it is like, it’s sometimes helpful.
I do seminars generally, where, you know, we can separate ourselves into two people, the teacher and the student. The Chetan Charan, the teacher, Chetan Charan, the student. So, say, every night before I sleep or every morning when I wake up, Chetan Charan, the teacher and Chetan Charan, the student have a discussion.
Hari bol! Amazing! So, okay, this is what we are to do today. The other student says, this is too much, you know, I’m not able to do it. But, he says, you know, okay, what’s the problem with it? It’s not the Chetan Charan, it’s the teacher and the boss going around.
They have a discussion. So, by that, we actually can push ourselves in a way that is realistic, not unrealistic. And then, gradually, what will happen is, that uddharet atmanatmanam naatmanam avasadayet aatmayi vay aatmano bandhur aatmayi varpur aatmana Now, the 6.5 is, some said, the technical word is aatma.
Now, aatma can refer to the mind, it can refer also to the self. So, if we have, Chakravarti Pada uses it to refer to the self, Prabhupada uses it to refer to the mind. When you use it to refer to the self, what it means is that elevate yourself with yourself.
Don’t degrade yourself with yourself. Because you can be your friend and you can be your enemy. So, that means that sometimes we need a bit of pushing.
But sometimes we need understanding. Yeah, you know, this is difficult. So, elevating ourselves means that we try to develop a healthy relationship with ourselves.
Many times, people have just so much, especially when we practice bhakti, we try to follow high standards. Most of the time, we just have so much guilt and resentment. Not just towards others, but even towards ourselves.
You know, I am not doing this much, I am not doing this much. And that is actually a very toxic relationship. You know, if we are constantly feeling guilty, where is the place for Krishna in the heart? I mean to say, I am a fallen soul.
That may be true, but the soul has to be emphasized more than fallen. Because fallen is a conditioned label. Soul is the eternal identity.
As a soul, I am a part of Krishna and Krishna values me so much that He is always there with me as the Paramahamsa in my heart. So, we emphasize the fallen part so much that the soul is lost only. We may say, with each other, you are not the body, you are the soul.
And we tell them, don’t identify with your conditioning that you are the body. But ourselves, we identify with our bodily conditioning when we say, I am fallen. So, we have to identify ourselves as souls.
So, yes, we do need pushing. We don’t want to stay fallen even if we are. But that doesn’t mean that we live constantly with guilt or anger or frustration.
We have to develop a healthy relationship with ourselves. And that requires first of all, understanding our capacity realistically. And then pushing ourselves beyond our capacity realistically.