How can we control impulsive behavior?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
ok so how do we control our impulsive behavior? basically at the first level we just have to start with externals the externals are not enough but the externals are often essential in the beginning Krishna when he talks about controlling selfish desire, controlling lust he says begin with the senses so for example if I decided that I’m not going to over eat or I’m not going to eat fatty foods so if I keep if I get if I get a snack attack laughter I suddenly desire to eat a snack snack attack so when I get a snack attack now if I have some healthy food maybe some fruit, some vegetable there in my, I’m working drawer I have that, I also have a fatty snack, if I’m conscious I will eat that healthy snack, I resolve to eat that healthy snack but if I’m talking on phone, I’m reading something, I’m typing something suddenly the snack attack comes, my hand will automatically go to the fatty snack, I’ll eat it and after some time, hey I was not supposed to eat, what happened so what happens is that when we have acted on the impulses repeatedly then those impulses they just trigger us towards actions without even our understanding it so there are some actions which just happen subconsciously so there is, so now when those actions are happening subconsciously then to check them becomes very difficult that’s why it’s best to create an obstacle externally, that means don’t keep that fatty snack nearby don’t keep that in the home so usually when that impulse comes the force of the impulse doesn’t last for a very long time but while it is there, it seems irresistible so when the impulse comes and I desire to eat something if that food is immediately available, I just grab it and eat, I won’t even realize it but if that food is not available, I have to go somewhere and get it then what happens during that time, the impulse is suddenly spiked up and it’s very strong but as the time passes the impulse intensity also goes down I don’t want to do this I don’t really want to do this so that way if we can make whatever is our impulsive behavior, we can make that not so easily available for ourselves, create some external obstacle within us and that external that impulse, that helps it is not an ultimate solution it is just an initial solution but an initial solution itself as they say, out of sight is out of mind so, it’s one way of doing it of course, if we dwell on the impulse, if we meditate on that impulsive desire then we’ll go wherever we get that object and we’ll get it, it’s possible always but much of the battle can be avoided by just by just not having that object available as much as possible best time to win the war against temptation is before it begins before the desire starts growing, just stop it it’s not available only, get out but that is not always possible so then we second thing as I said, association association means we could have some friends with whom we make some resolutions we say this is what I’m going to do and then we share this is what I plan, I plan to wake up in the morning but I’m not able to wake up I just feel like sleeping so much then we have some friends with whom we share this is what I did, this is what I did not do and then that is called as, not just a general friend but it’s more like a we want to be accountable to someone it’s accountability partner if I decide I want to read, I want to read I want to study scripture but I’m not able to do it make a plan with some other people, not just ourselves and then that can also help a lot, the third thing is that when the impulse comes, we don’t just, unavailability is not the solution, it is the initial step, what we need is some intelligence, oh this is not what I want to do, so now at that time when the impulse comes, the intelligence doesn’t work we don’t just it’s like it’s when the impulse comes it is the impulse comes and presses the delete button of our intelligence all that we have learned we just forget at that time so at that time you know if if you know that some person is very forgetful, there are some people who just forget things and we tell them when you are coming there, please get it and then they don’t get it, they say I forgot now why did you forget, if we understand after a period of time that they are forgetful people then what we have to do is, rather than expecting them to do it we have to take the initiative, we remind them 2-3 times, we write it down somewhere so they remember it and then make sure, so if they are forgetful, then reminding them is our responsibility, telling them is not so like that we find out sometime that with respect to certain impulses we become forgetful then we have to create reminders for ourselves reminders means, if a particular impulse is overpowering us then if we have heard some philosophical points, if we have done some analysis ourselves intellectual analysis, heard some verses heard some quotes about why this particular impulse is bad why I need to give it up then we keep that readily available for us write it down keep it readily available in a in your phone or a diary or somewhere so that at that time when our intelligence doesn’t work, we borrow intelligence from there and we use that intelligence at that time and it does help so this is beyond that we need to pray to Krishna at that time we may not feel like praying but if we look at our impulses we often find that there are certain circumstances which trigger them so for example, if I am going on a road, there is a pothole now if a car goes in the pothole, there is a bump over there so there is a jolt I feel so what we do is, we anticipate, okay there is a pothole going to come over here, so we plan and we take our car from a different direction so we steer it so if we look back and find out what are the situations in which we face impulses and then before that we pray to Krishna before that happens, we sincerely pray to Krishna and then even if that doesn’t help us at that time somehow, still we get overpowered but the fact that we are praying to Krishna at that time will will please Krishna and the likelihood of our remembering will increase so the last point is that we don’t have to we don’t have to define our bhakti by our capacity to resist impulses sometimes you go, oh I made this resolution I didn’t do it, again I am good for nothing, useless now, the impulses may come the impulses may make us do something which we didn’t want to do just there is just one part of life what are we doing the impulses are not there 24 hours a day the impulses come as a spike and they stay for some time, they go what we are doing in between the impulses is much more important if at that time also if either we are lamenting why did I do that, why did I do that, why did I do that or we are looking for craving, next time I do this, next time I do it then we are not Krishna conscious we are not Krishna conscious at all we are simply mind conscious the mind impels us to do something and the mind beats us up why are you doing this whatever has happened, it has happened in between, during the time of impulse I am unable to connect with Krishna I end up doing something which I don’t want to do but in between the impulses, what am I doing if I am wholeheartedly connecting with Krishna doing things enthusiastically that itself will purify sometimes the impulse may be so strong that despite everything else despite distancing ourselves from the objects despite having an accountability partner, despite having a source of borrowed intelligence despite praying, still we may relapse but it doesn’t matter, what matters is what are we doing in between doesn’t matter means not that it doesn’t define as much as what we do in between if in between the impulses we are connecting with Krishna we will become purified and gradually the impulses will become will become more manageable you know we shouldn’t make the battle against temptation more important than the war for devotion, the war for devotion is we are trying to connect with Krishna doing many things for that the battle against temptation is one part of that sometimes because we are defeated in the battle against temptation, we become so discouraged that we stop fighting the war for devotion okay, something I did which I was not meant to do, but still I can chant now I can read now, I can do so many things now, now that the impulse is tormenting me, so we okay, even if we are defeated in the battle against temptation doesn’t matter, we fight the war for devotion as much as I can you should always be you should never be frustrated devotees of renunciation okay, I couldn’t do that I am frustrated, no, we are always meant to be hopeful devotees of Krishna okay, I couldn’t do this, doesn’t matter, next time I will try, but in between now let me connect with Krishna, thank you