How can we ensure that the give and take between devotees doesn’t become artificial or business-like?

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
The question is that when does the give and take, the reciprocation between devotees become artificial or business like? Actually in one sense you can say give and take itself is business. Isn’t it? If I give something and I take something isn’t that business? No, not necessarily.
The give and take, you can say that when a person goes to a shop and takes some sweet. A child goes to a shop and takes a sweet. That is give and take.
And a child asks the mother give me some sweet. And the child gives something to the mother. Mother says clean your dress properly, clean your room properly.
Child cleans the room. Mother gives some sweet. That is also give and take.
So in both there is give and take. But there is a difference. What is the difference? There is the underlying foundation of affection in the mother-child relationship.
And there is an underlying foundation of just of impersonal reciprocation. You don’t really care much for the other person. So give and take itself is not wrong.
That principle is natural. And that is the meaning of relationships and reciprocations. I do something to someone, that person does something for me.
So now I would say that being commercial and being artificial are two different things. They don’t necessarily same. Commercial means that the whole idea is that I want something from that person and for that I will give it.
So the owner of a particular say shop, confectioner, sweet shop owner, that doesn’t really care for the child. So then you give me this, I will give you that. That is purely commercial.
Now on the other hand, the devotees circle, they usually don’t have commercial interests. If I give something, it’s not that I think the devotee will give me something equal in that amount or more in that amount or something like that. That’s not usual.
We just expect some reciprocation. So the artificiality may be in that we may not fully feel the emotions that we are expressing over there. But that is a part of sadhana.
When we chant Hare Krishna, when we dance in kirtan, no, it’s not that every time we feel ecstatic. But then we know that we are following a process by which that emotion will eventually develop. So as long as we are following that process, we are making spiritual consequences.
So that’s why artificial need not necessarily be undesirable. If that artificial, in the sense that I don’t have that emotion right now, but I am going to develop that emotion, if that is the attitude, then that artificial is a step towards the natural. So if I am having the artificial and I am thinking that I know it will develop in the natural, like sometimes it is flattering a person, we have no appreciation for that devotee, now we want to appreciate that devotee, but just I want to get something done from that devotee, that’s why I flatter that person.
That is not so. But if I have some level of appreciation and if I come to know the devotee more, my appreciation will increase also and I would like my appreciation to increase. So initially when I express some things, if the artificial we see it as a stepping stone to the natural, then that is not undesirable.
But if the artificial is a replacement, a substitute to the natural, then it is undesirable, then the relationship will stay superficial. So give and take if we do with a devotee with the intention of developing a deeper relationship, then that is not undesirable, that is not necessarily undesirable. It will be a stepping stone towards the deeper relationships.
So we give and we don’t so much focus on the expectation of what I will get from that relationship. We focus primarily on doing our part in deepening the relationship. And then if that devotee wants to reciprocate, well, if that devotee doesn’t want to reciprocate, then we understand that this relationship may not develop so much.
I can choose to focus on some other relationship. Or maybe that devotee is reciprocating in some other way which we may not realize. So then we have to understand what that devotee is doing and how he is doing.
So artificial is not always undesirable. Only when it is a substitute for the natural, then it is undesirable. But if it is a stepping stone towards the natural, then it is also desirable.