How can we identify false ego while doing services?

Transcript

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Hare Krishna Question from Sudhir Chaitanya Prabhu How can we identify the false ego? Sometimes we may do certain activities in the name of spirituality and service but actually we are doing it for name and fame and because we can’t identify the false ego we end up committing a lot of Vaishnavapras Answer we can’t be entirely free from ego Ego basically means I exist I am there is true ego and there is false ego in terms of ontology the true ego, ontology means nature of existence it is clear understanding that I am the soul I am not the body so true ego is the idea that I am the soul and false ego is the idea that I am the body so in terms of ontology this is clear enough but in terms of psychology, in terms of our thinking and functioning in this world this differentiation is not very easy to make when I am acting at a particular level, for example now I am answering questions now why am I doing it am I doing it because I want to serve Krishna based on my understanding that I am a servant of Krishna or am I doing it because I think that I am a scholar and I want the world to know how clever I am and I am using the knowledge of scripture as a means to boost my ego it’s difficult to divorce this and functionally the line between false ego and true ego is very difficult to discern and we will go into a paralysis by analysis if we stop ourselves from doing services just because they may be motivated by false ego what we should focus on is that are we practicing the process of devotional service diligently if we are practicing it diligently then even if we have some motive for egoistic aggrandizement the practice of bhakti will purify it at one time one devotee was doing kirtan very nicely and Prabhupada was entering the temple Prabhupada said your kirtan is very nice this devotee told Prabhupada that but Prabhupada sometimes I feel proud Prabhupada just looked at him and smiled and said what’s wrong with that now we may say there is a lot wrong with pride it’s one of the anarthas but what Prabhupada emphasized over there is that actually if we are feeling proud in our relationship with Krishna and our service to Krishna that simply means that we are actually within the realm of devotional service although it may not be pure devotional service right now it’s not that by not doing service pride will go away no the pride is still there in the heart and when we do service that service gives us the opportunity to express that pride otherwise the pride is there it is not expressed and sometimes what happens is that the pride becomes expressed perversely as envy we don’t do good things in Krishna’s service because we feel I’ll become proud but then if others do some good things and they get praised we feel envious of them so the anartha of pride is there whether we do good things or whether we don’t do good things when we do good things then that anartha gets expressed otherwise it may not be expressed explicitly so then when we have that desire for seeking honor what should we do it is better to seek honor by doing devotionally honorable things then by doing things which are meant for getting honor from materialistic people because often to get honor from materialistic people we may end up having to do things which are contrary to our devotional so in materialistic circles may be the person who cracks the most rebelled jokes most obscene humor that person may crack the biggest laughs and cheers now that is certainly something which we do not want to do at all so now first is that ye na keena prakaarine mana krishna niveshe that somehow fix my mind on Krishna that means we should render service without becoming paranoid whether I am doing it because of false ego or true ego because even if there is pride just by not doing service there is no purification that is happening it is only when we do service that service acts as the medicine that cures the disease of pride service alone can purify us and now while doing service we can try to take precautions by which we will be able to become free from pride gradually so we can regularly associate with senior devotees hear from them submissively and ask them to correct us if we find that if they observe us committing any offenses and have some good friends who will give us feedback when we are going on the wrong track and also we can introspect within to see that when I do service what am I eager for am I eager to serve Krishna and remember Krishna through the service or am I eager to get praise from others, get recognition for the service that I have done there is a human aspect to recognition, to wanting some appreciation which is not to be rejected entirely but that should not be our primary motivation for doing service and when we distribute books and say somebody has good book distribution score naturally that person’s name is announced that is the way we appreciate each other and that appreciation is desirable it’s a part of a cultured community but that appreciation shouldn’t be our primary motivation for doing service our primary motivation should be purification so as I have written in the Gita Delhi article the purpose of service is not productivity or popularity but purity so philosophical education can repeatedly regular philosophical study of scripture will remind us of our purpose and it will help us to reorient and especially if you are combating pride combating lust at least identifying lust is relatively easier because the desires come up very grossly and they take us directly away from devotional activities or devotional thoughts whereas identifying pride is a little more difficult because often pride creeps in while we are doing devotional activities so writing a daily journal or a regular journal personal diary wherein we introspect and express in words our introspection helps us in finding ourselves, words are not just tools for by which we express thoughts but words are also things by which we form thoughts, what is vague becomes clear when we try to verbalize it so diary is also very helpful in identifying the false ego’s actions and checking whether the false ego is becoming too dominant in our actions and then reorienting ourselves so associating with seniors and equals doing our own introspection to see what is our driving motivation these can both help us in dealing with false ego and most importantly it is the continued process of bhakti that will purify us it is not just fear of false ego that will purify us continued engagement in bhakti that will primarily purify us and also with regarding auto offenses if we are observant we will see that there are certain devotees with whom we have difficulties in dealing and especially with them we tend to react in ways that may become offensive so we can be extra cautious with those devotees and especially we can try to pray for those devotees, pray for their spiritual well being and pray for the spiritual health of our relationship with them, when we pray for others then that completely changes our perspective of them quite often instead of seeing them as competitors or antagonists we see them as co-combatants, as comrades we see that actually we are all fighting the same war against anarthas and they are also battling in a similar way although the specific anarthas they may have may be different and that way we can feel more of a spiritual connection which will decrease the likelihood of offenses being committed now while we are doing services important urgent services in the heat of the moment sometimes certain things may be spoken then that is not necessarily considered an offense if the idea was not to if the intention was not to malign or denigrate the person, if the idea was primarily just to get the service done but still words which once spoken can cause permanent wounds in the heart so we should not assume that because my intention was to serve so it doesn’t matter whether that person felt hurt or not, we should try to guard ourselves from speaking such things and we should clarify maybe apologize and restore the relationship to proper health later on if such things have happened, so the important point is that we keep doing our service properly and wherever there are known to be some situations and people with whom trouble is likely to arise, take extra precautions like praying for them, like doing some some service for them, clarifying situations with them and if none work then better to keep a distance from them and then do service accordingly. Thank you.
Hare Krishna.