How can we inculcate Krishna consciousness in our children?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

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How can we inculcate Krishna consciousness in our children? If we as parents have failed to inculcate bhakti in our children we feel very sorry and we repent about it. As I mentioned in earlier classes also, we are all individual souls and everyone of us is on our own individual spiritual journey and even people who are related with us whether they become devotees or not, that is not necessarily a reflection of our spirituality.
Why is that? You can see even great Vaishnavas. For example, we have Advaitacharya, you know, who is God himself, he is descendant of God. Chetan Charitam would say that one of his sons, not only did he not become a devotee, he actually became a Mayavati.
He became a Mayavati. So, there are many great great saintly people whose children may not become devotees. Even Krishna himself, when Lord Vishnu came, when he lifted up Bhoomili Devi, from that contact a child was produced that became a demon after Bhoomasura.
So, what to speak of the parent-child relationship? Sometimes it may happen that even the parent-child relationship, at least it’s some level of material relationship. Even a spiritual master who initiates a disciple, not all of the disciples may remain devotees. It’s sad when it happens but it happens.
So, every soul has a free will. And naturally the spiritual master will feel bad if a disciple goes away. But that does not necessarily mean that the spiritual master is deficient.
Naturally, when we are in a responsible position, we should be introspective and see what more could I have done. But we should not let that cripple ourselves. We are souls on our journey towards Krishna.
Others are souls on their journey. And they will be at a different stage. So, firstly, don’t make others or children’s spirituality or lack of spirituality as a statement about our spiritual advancement or our success of our efforts or unsuccess of our efforts.
Now, in general, whenever we interact with any person, we can only do three things for others. We can provide knowledge, we can give knowledge, we can provide facilities and we can set exam. These are the only three things we can do to inspire others to make wiser choices.
Provide knowledge means we educate them. Do this, this is what is going to happen. It’s not just academic education, but education about life’s values, life’s choices and life’s consequences.
So, we can provide knowledge. Let’s say Bhagavad Gita tells us knowledge and we can try to provide them that knowledge. Secondly is that we can provide facilities.
Facility means that children, they want to practice, but they cannot be expected to come and hear long classes. We have some special children who are hearing classes, but they are very special. But usually, the children will need their own sangha.
So, if we have some children’s wing or a teenager’s wing or a youth wing, where in like-minded association, their bhakti flourishes. So, every community that is growing, it needs to put sufficient effort to create a facility like that. And when that kind of facility is there, and sometimes if a number of such students can come together, go for a picnic together, and they enjoy each other’s association and they enjoy bhakti in that association.
That can help a lot. So, parents can try to create as many facilities as possible. Some parents may try to come together and start a school or at least have a Sunday school or maybe like they basically try to provide facility.
And third is set an example. So, the Krishna consciousness is more caught than taught. Caught means, we observe somebody doing something, oh, this is how it is done.
Taught means, okay, do this, don’t do this. Yeah, it has to be taught also, no doubt, but it is often more caught. So, what happens is, parents, they practice bhakti, but then if they are coming to the temple and they go back to the temple and they say, this is wrong in the temple, this is wrong in the temple, this is wrong in the temple.
They are criticizing the temple and then they say, we should go to the temple. Why should I go to the temple, there are so many things wrong over there. So, you know, yes, anywhere we go, there are issues.
We can’t avoid issues. But if we are clear in our purpose, this is where I can become Krishna conscious. So, if we are setting a proper example, then those interactions are going to be there.
Especially, in childhood, we give some formative impressions with the formative ages. Formative age, that stays deep. It is never lost.
Now, when children come to their teenage, at that time, teenage is actually a very, very turbulent age. So, I think, yesterday I talked to the teenagers, I told them that there is one author, famous author. So, he was asked, now how do you get ideas for writing? So, he said, if you have survived adolescence, you have enough material to write for a lifetime.
Adolescence is a very turbulent phase. So, at that time, the mind, the body, all of them start thinking, feeling in a very different way. And the parents were thinking, hey, my sweet little girl, what happened to her? A nice little boy, where did he disappear? Who is this person who has come in his place? Unrecognizable change happens sometimes.
So, actually, this is the time when the children are growing and they are trying to form their own identity. When they are very small, they are basically identified as the son or the daughter of so and so. Now, when they become adults, they will have their own identity.
You know, I am this professional, I have this job. But when they are trying to, in their adolescence, when they are trying to discover their own identity. So, yes, ultimately we are all souls.
But we also have our identity in this world. And they are trying to understand that at that time they may go through a phase of experimenting. And they may feel, oh, I missed out so many things in my life.
I want to enjoy it all. Now, naturally, the parents may want to protect the children. And to some extent, we can give good advice, we can give protection, we can try to protect them.
But ultimately, some lessons may have to be learned through experience. So, even if they want to go and experiment things, we shouldn’t make that as a condition for our love. Now, we will always love them.
But naturally, we will want them to do some things and if they are not doing that, we will be unhappy. But that doesn’t mean that we stop loving them. We are there for them if they need us.
And that way, if we continue offering them our affection, deep in their heart, they also have got devotional impressions. If you make it into a ego issue, you know, you are wrong and one day you will come crawling back on your feet to me and I will admit that you were wrong, that I was wrong. Even if they in future realize they are wrong, they will not come back.
Because, you know, we have made it into an ego issue. So, no need to make it into an ego issue. Because, yeah, we can guide them and if they don’t, some lessons have to be learned, as I said, the hard way.
But when they are hit by life’s blows, if we are there, then they will learn. I remember this one devotee in Pune. Their whole family is devotees and the young boy, he was born and brought up in a devotee family.
In his teenage, he went wild. He said, one time, I think it was Michael Jackson had come to India and he wanted to go for that concert. And he shelled out a huge amount of money and went through so much crowd and finally he got to the concert.
And when he was there in the concert, it just suddenly struck him, this is just noise. This is just noise. You know, in a simple kirtan, the temple is sweeter.
He had got nothing actually. Not that morning he had gone to the temple or heard a kirtan. Many days he had not gone to the temple also.
But suddenly, it just struck him. I was so excited about this. But there is nothing here.
And then, that was like an epiphany. A moment of realisation. After that, he got completely transformed.
He associated with some other devotees, some other boys of his age. And then, he has now become a serious devotee preacher. He does more preaching than his parents.
So, what happened? Actually, we shouldn’t see that our children’s bhakti is between us and them. It is between them and Krishna. And Krishna is working in the background.
We are meant to assist Krishna and the impressions that we have given in the childhood, they will manifest in due course of time. They will manifest in due course of time. Another devotee told me that you know, I think in 2011, was it, when India won the World Cup, Cricket World Cup? 2011, was it? Yeah.
So, at that time, he said that he was very excited about the cricket matches. Then he gave it up. But then again, when India started doing very well in the World Cup, he was very excited.
And then, India won the quarter-finals against Australia. So, he was telling me all this. So, he said, I was so delighted.
Then, India won the semi-finals against Pakistan. So, I was so much more excited. And finally, then the finals against Sri Lanka and India won the finals.
And then, I was with my friends watching on TV and they were all dancing and yelling and screaming. My friend, you know, what’s there to be so excited about? I just, although I wanted to be excited, but I couldn’t be excited. Because I could see what is so great about it.
I am not saying cricket necessarily is anything bad. I am just giving an example here of a higher taste which remains. And that higher taste will manifest at a particular time.
So, Krishna is working in the hearts of everyone. And he is working in the hearts of everyone in general, but especially those who have been given devotional impressions. Then, at that time, in their childhood, those impressions will manifest in due course.
So, this is what happened. I said, India is winning the World Cup. It was like the biggest anticlimax of my life.
I said, I was so excited. I felt there is nothing to be excited about. What is there? From that time, he also became very serious about practicing bhakti.
So, we may have, our mind and our circumstances may create some bubbles of imagination. Hey, this is so enjoyable. How can you live without that? This is so enjoyable.
How can you live without that? And, by our end, the children, they may have those bubbles. But when they experience the bursting of those bubbles, because they have had the experience of bhakti, they will turn back to bhakti. So, just provide the knowledge, offer the facilities, set an example.
And then, it is between them and Krishna. And then, they will come in due course of time towards Krishna. So, our process of bhakti is that we are serving Krishna.
That means, irrespective of whether they become devotees or not, our service is to them and our service is to Krishna. If we did the best under our circumstances to serve Krishna, we are going closer towards Krishna. And how Krishna will get them closer, that is ultimately between them and Krishna.
So, there are two extremes where we think, ultimately, it is just their spiritual life, I don’t care about it. The other is, we think, their spiritual life is entirely my responsibility. So, when we, when we take on a role that is not for us to take on, then we can become very insecure, we can become very frustrated.
But in addition, my role is to to connect them with Krishna. And then, they will choose Krishna and move on in their lives.