How can we overcome depression caused by frustration of expectations?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
What is your name? So how do we overcome depression that may be caused by these things like grades, grades, special relationships and expectations? Yeah. Depression is a big problem in today’s world. And in some cases, it may be because of a neurological problem.
If there is some structural problem or if there is some chemical deficiency, then it may need to be clinically treated. But most cases, often the tendency in today’s world is to pathologize human problems. And trying to take a pill to solve every problem, every unpalatable feeling that we get, that doesn’t work.
It simply leads to chemical dependency. So in special cases, we may need some medical treatment. But in general, it is more of a change of the focus of our thoughts.
See, all of us have a mental home. Just as we have a physical home where we go and stay. Like that, we all have a mental home.
That means when we are not doing anything, when we are not consciously thinking of something, what are we thinking about? Now that mental home can be energizing or it can be draining. So if my mental home is, how good do I look? Oh no, they look better than me. They look better than me.
And by the negative comparison, we start feeling drained. So the whole process of Bhakti Yoga is not just about chanting some mantras or attending some programs. All that is fine.
The ultimate purpose of Bhakti Yoga is to change our mental home. Is to make Krishna our mental home. dhautātmā puruṣaḥ kṛṣṇa-pāda-mūḍham namo yati muktaḥ sarva-parikṣeṣa-pāṇḍha-sva-śaraṇam yatha Bhagavatam says that, just as a travel-weary person, when they come back home, they just feel relief.
They feel joy. Like that, a devotee, the thoughts come back to Krishna. The devotee feels at home.
The devotee feels comfortable. So if we make, by the practice of Bhakti, we make Krishna our mental home, that means, when we have nothing to think about, consciously, we just try to bring our thoughts to Krishna. It may be, we may hear some nice kirtan, we have some attractive photos of Krishna, we think of some service to Krishna, whatever it is.
That way, this mental home that we have, that will shelter us. Otherwise, we will have some kind of, some socially defined parameter which becomes our mental home and that will drain us. So at a fundamental level, depression is because Krishna is not our center, something else is our center.
And then as per that center, whatever we have, if we are not up to the mark, we feel depressed. But when we have Krishna as our center, now Krishna’s love for us doesn’t depend on who we are. Krishna’s love for us is based on who He is.
He is Pitahamsa Jagato Mata Dhata Pitamah. He loves everyone irrespective of how we are, who we are. Now of course, Krishna’s love for us doesn’t depend on who we are.
But our experience of His love depends on who we are. That means, the sun is always giving light. But if my eyes are closed, I can’t see the sun.
So similarly, Krishna always loves us. But if we are too infatuated with something materialistic, then we see Krishna’s love only if that thing is fulfilled. And if that thing is not fulfilled, we feel Krishna doesn’t love me.
Krishna doesn’t care for me. Then we can’t pursue Krishna’s love. So ultimately, if we center ourselves on Krishna, that will give us a security, a sense of security, a sense of strength that can uproot depression at its base.
Now, that is the ultimate solution. And practicing bhakti is very important. Along with that, if we find ourselves getting depressed, we have to monitor our association.
There are some people who just like to pass negative comments about others. Often, a cause of depression is depressing people. So, if we find that there are certain people who just speak and act in ways that depresses us, then we need to keep a safe distance from them.
We respect them, but we keep a distance from them. Because the whole point of expectations that others have, expectations are meant to bring the best out of us. Expectations are not meant to crush us.
They are not meant to burden us. So it’s natural in every relationship we have expectations. But the expectations need to be expressed in a way that inspires us and doesn’t burden us.
If somebody is doing that, then we have to find some circle, some friends who accept us for what we are. Yes, we all want to become better, but friends who accept us for what we are, in that association, when we are not constantly being judged, not constantly being measured, constantly being evaluated, then we get some security. And in this connection, it’s very important for us to find out our strengths.
We live in a culture where much education is standardized. So say everybody will be rated according to some grades. And we may or may not have the talents to do particularly well in the grade rating system.
But if we are aware of our talents, then we can gradually move our career towards the areas where we are talented. So becoming aware of ourselves. How do we know what is our talent? Two things basically.
If there is something which we feel comfortable doing. Yes, I just like doing this. And secondly, if we are competent doing that.
We like to do something and we are good at doing that. We can assume that this is the place where I have my talents. Krishna says, guna karma vibhagasah.
He says, people are divided according to their qualities and activities. Qualities means we feel comfortable doing it. Activities means we are competent doing it.
So that way if we find what we are talented at, then that itself gives us a sense of self-worth. And that self-worth which we get from there, that helps us to counter the depression. So overall by cultivating a spiritual Krishna at the center of our consciousness, by keeping a distance from people who depress us by their heavy burden of expectations, and by trying to understand and focusing on our talents, we can counter depression.
So are there any other questions or should we stop here? It’s been quite a long session.