How can we prevent ability from making us proud?

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
visible abilities which also are needed in services and which are seen by everyone, at that time how can we maintain humility? First of all, actually, ability and humility are both two successive installments of Krishna’s mercy.
Ability is often the first installment. Because if you didn’t have any ability, how will I serve Krishna? Some ability may be correlated with our original talents which we had, but quite often we find that some devotees, they would hardly speak anything in their social circle also, but when they come to Krishna Bhakti they start becoming fluent speakers. Or even if we had some abilities, those abilities developed enormously and we are able to serve Krishna by that.
So that gift of the ability is also Krishna’s mercy. And by that ability, Krishna gives us a steady forum by which we can serve him and it stabilizes our connection. So sadhana is one level of connection with Krishna, but you can’t keep doing sadhana solely.
So ability is the first installment of Krishna’s mercy. Now, when we serve with our ability, naturally if we do this service well, we will get recognition, we will get praise. And that recognition, we can let it go to the head or we can let it go to our heart.
Letting it go to the head meaning I am so great. And letting it go to the heart means that we see that actually this Krishna very mercifully accepting my service and encouraging me. So, Krishna only gave me this ability and Krishna is now encouraging me.
You are doing good service, continue this. So, if we especially focus on some of the pastimes, there Krishna’s loving nature is manifesting. For example, probably pastime Chaitanya Mahaprabhu dances at Haridas Thakur’s dead body.
It’s extraordinary. Normally, a sannyasi will not even touch a corpse. In that culture, to pick up a corpse and dance with a corpse.
It’s extraordinary. So, for each of us, some pastimes are there wherein we feel Krishna’s love coming out very vividly for us. Then meditating on those pastimes and think this is the Lord whom I have the opportunity to love by doing this service.
But, if I let myself become proud, then I neglect this Lord because then I am just me, me, me, me. And I am neglecting this Lord for some little determination that I am making. So, by focusing on Krishna’s loving nature and trying to see our ability and the appreciation we get for that ability as the opportune reciprocating Krishna, we can minimize the chances of failure.
And it is not always, again, not always bad to be proud. What do I mean by that? Actually, there is a very nice pastime of one Prabhupada disciple. He is a very good kirtanier.
I forget his name. Pankajamritu told me his pastime. He said that he used to play very nice nadanga and sing very nicely.
So, one day Prabhupada came to the temple in the evening and he was reading temple. And Prabhupada just came right by him and stood about. And he looked up.
Prabhupada was right there, standing. Prabhupada, your kirtan is so nice. This is like the ultimate tribute for a disciple to have a such a master come and appreciate him.
So, then he said, Prabhupada, sometimes I feel proud. Prabhupada thinks, what’s wrong with that? And walked away. Now, Prabhupada is opening up his books and said, what is wrong with pride? Now, what’s wrong with that? So, what does he mean over there? The point is that we cannot wish away the pride.
There is some anartha of pride in us. And if that desire for appreciation, that desire for appreciation, if that inspires us to do bhakti seriously, that is definitely 100 times better than we trying to get appreciation and recognition in materialistic circles. So, it’s like we cannot artificially jump to a state of complete pridelessness.
Just like this brahmacharya ashram and this sanyasa ashram. If they suddenly made everybody into sanyasi, it would be chaotic. So, like that, to expect that suddenly we can become completely free from pride.
Now, again, I would say that it’s not always pride in the negative sense. It is a natural human need for reciprocation. And if we have that need, that should not be thought of as pride also.
But even if it is pride, assuming, still, rather than imagining that I can be prideless completely right away and in that process go into some mental complex that I am so proud or whatever, we focus on trying to serve Krishna and reciprocate Krishna. And by that, gradually, we will also start seeing that when serving Krishna, there is far more satisfaction than in trying to titillate my ego. So, by seeing the ability and the opportunity to serve that ability and the appreciation that we get from that service, as reciprocation with Krishna, we can avoid that pride to a large extent.