How can we rectify an offense, especially when the devotee whom we have offended doesn’t know about the offense?

Transcript

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Hare Kṛṣṇa. Question.
If we offend a devotee unknowingly, that means without that devotee coming to know that we offended, then how should we rectify that situation? Should we tell the devotee that we have committed this offense and then seek forgiveness? Answer. The term offense can involve a broad range of activities. So, we don’t have to consider that every single offense is the same.
Sometimes we may speak or do something which displeases another devotee. That can be called one level of offense. Another time, another could be that, you know, we have a malicious intention.
We don’t like another devotee’s happiness or success and then we spread rumors or we speak behind the back to sully that devotee’s reputation and drag that devotee down. This is a very serious offense. And sometimes we may speak some things about a devotee not with a malicious heart but just in the flow of conversation.
It might be a small gossip or something like that which involves speaking against the devotee. So, it depends on what kind of offense it is and in general the important point is to understand what is wrong with the offense and correct that wrong thing. So, actually all offenses stem from the point of thinking the spiritual to be the material.
That means mistaking the mistaking the transcendental to be just the material reducing it. So, devotees they also, they have material bodies and they have to some extent their material nature. They are somehow coming from their previous life.
Accordingly they are going to act. By the same time, devotees they are trying to serve Krishna. Their soul is devoted to Krishna and we should, while associating with devotees, be able to see beyond the material to the spiritual.
So, when we see only the material let me say all this devotee like that, that devotee like that and then that foreseeing only the material and not the spiritual is the seed of offense. So, that is the seed that needs to be corrected. We don’t have to live in the devotee society in a perpetual paranoia constantly fearing maybe I’ll offend this devotee, maybe I’ll offend that devotee, maybe this, maybe that, like that.
No, that is not required. We focus on trying to serve Krishna to the best of our capacity and while serving Krishna to the best of our capacity in as sensitive way as possible. If we somehow offend some devotees, then depending on time, place, circumstance, we can seek forgiveness from Krishna or we can go to that devotee and seek forgiveness from that devotee.
So, how do we know that the devotee doesn’t know that we have spoken something like this? If there is a chance that the devotee may have come to know about it, then better that we go and tell that devotee and seek forgiveness from that devotee accordingly. That I spoke this or I did this, I’m sorry about it and please forgive me. But if it’s unlikely that the devotee has come to know anything about it, then we can pray to Krishna and understand philosophically seriously what was wrong, what was the mentality which caused this particular relapse, this particular behavior and correct that mentality.
Then when the mentality is corrected, automatically the behavior will be corrected. So, sometimes the devotee may depart from the world and then how do we seek forgiveness? It’s not that in every situation we have to seek forgiveness from that devotee only to be able to be forgiven. No, Krishna is not waiting to catch us doing wrong to punish us.
No, Krishna is a compassionate God and he loves us and he wants to elevate us and he’s ready to do whatever it is required for elevating us and one of the things is which is required for elevation is that we learn to respect devotees because they are dear to Krishna and Krishna is dear to them. So, rather than being in a paranoia about whether we have offended devotees in what we should do, it’s far better to cultivate a healthy service disposition. I’m a servant of Krishna and I’m servant of devotees and let me try to serve them in the best capacity that I can and if in the course of service, sometimes some offense happens, if it is likely that the devotee may come to know or has come to know, then we can go and seek forgiveness from that devotee directly.
Otherwise, we pray to Krishna. If we want, we can do some extra devotional service, especially that kind of devotional service that gives us strength to curb our lower tendency. That may be, that kind of devotional service may be chanting more rounds or studying scripture more or hearing on a topic more systematically, more diligently.
Whatever inspires us with strength to fight our lower tendencies and rise upwards in our spiritual life. So, in this way, we can deal with the offense unknowingly that has happened. Thank you.