​How can we respond positively after committing mistakes?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
So, how can we understand or respond in a healthy way when we end up making wrong choices? The first thing is that, there are phases in our consciousness.
Say, if I consider my consciousness to be like a graph, then within that graph, sometimes, desires spike up. Normally, even say, if somebody is an addict of something, somebody is an alcohol addict or somebody is a drug addict, it’s not that 24 hours, they are having the craving with the same intensity constantly. There are times when the desires spike up.
And at that time, it seems intolerable. So, similarly with us, also, we have certain times when the desires become very strong. And sometimes, they become so strong that it may be almost impossible to tolerate and resist them.
And we may succumb at that time. But, the mind is so tricky that, first, it makes us a criminal and then it becomes a judge who punishes the criminal. That means, first, it makes us do, come on, do this, eat this, watch this, do this, enjoy this.
And then, after it makes us do this, the mind becomes, you fool! Why did you do it? So many times you have seen that it leads to misery. Don’t you have any intelligence? So, it just starts beating us from within. So, now, this way, we get basically caught in the web of the mind.
First, we do its bidding and then we endure its beating. And, neither of them is actually strengthening us. Neither of them is elevating us.
So, it may happen that during the spikes, we fall. But the spikes are not there constantly. So, what we do in between the spikes will determine whether we change for the better or change for the worse.
If during the period between the spikes, I am simply lamenting. Why did I do that? And I am not doing anything to strengthen myself. I am not doing anything to purify myself.
The next time when the spike comes, again, I may fall. And not only sometimes, I may fall more because already I have weakened myself. So, instead, once the spike has come and gone, even if I did something bad, whatever undesirable, I did that.
Now, let me make a healthy choice. Let me try to connect with Krishna. Let me try to purify myself as much as I can through constructive activities, through devotional activities.
And when I do that, it will strengthen me and next time the spike comes, I am better equipped to resist it. Even if I may not be able to resist it next time also. It may take some time.
But if in between the spikes, I am strengthening myself, then eventually I will be able to resist the spikes. So, we have to, we shouldn’t get too obsessed or too depressed if we are not able to, if we have some relapses in doing things which we had planned not to do, which we had resolved not to do. Of course, when the relapses occur, we can also check.
When the spikes happen, at that time, we can do things which can help us or which can help us from, or help us avoid acting on the impulse engine, acting on the spike. Say, if somebody has the tendency to binge eat, or eat a lot, you suddenly get a desire to eat a lot. Then one thing that is told is don’t keep food next to you.
Are you going to keep food? Keep only healthy food. Don’t keep any fatty food. Then when the desire has become very strong, the spike has come, if at that time I have food readily accessible, then I will eat a lot.
But if I don’t have any food readily accessible, then by the time I have to go and procure the food, by that time the spike has come in my, well the spike is overwhelming me, but after some time the intelligence also comes back. Why am I doing this? I shouldn’t do this. So in one sense, if we can create some obstacles between us and that indulgence, then that obstacle can also protect us when the spike comes.
Of course, if the spike becomes very strong and if I am overwhelmed, I can knock down the obstacle and I can go and purchase and eat also, whatever. But that obstacle also helps us in giving ourselves some more time to reorient ourselves. So quite often it is very helpful to create some obstacle between ourselves and whatever is our weakness.
That obstacle is not a permanent protection, it is not a sure shot protection, but it is at least a delay. And the delay itself is quite often enough for us to regain our bearings. And then we can protect ourselves.
And from our devotional perspective, we should know that Krishna’s love for us is unconditional. Krishna is not a God who is waiting to catch us, do wrong and punish us. Krishna is a coach.
He is not a critic. He wants to help us rise. So Krishna is present inside us as our friend.
He is present inside us not to catch us when we do wrong. He is present to catch us when we fall. To catch us when we fall and to help us rise once again.
So we should never, no matter whatever happens, no matter whatever undesirable thing we do, we should never become disenthused in our service to Krishna. We should not think that because I have done something now, now I cannot practice bhakti, now Krishna is rejecting me. There is nothing that we can ever do that can make Krishna stop loving us.
We don’t have that power to do anything because of which Krishna will say I am fed up with you, I am leaving your heart and going away. We should not think that we can do which can make Krishna do that. Therefore Krishna’s love for us is always there.
And by knowing that no matter whatever happens, we never become discouraged in our practice of bhakti. So firstly by recognizing that the spikes are temporary and not getting discouraged by what happens in the spikes but focusing on strengthening ourselves between the spikes. Secondly by creating obstacles so that we don’t indulge during the spike or at least we delay indulgence in the spike.
And never becoming disheartened in connecting with Krishna. By that gradually we can overcome those relapses.