How can we share Krishna’s message purely without the need for validation?

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Thank you. We all want to be accepted, respected, affirmed. And if you see spiritual culture or any general culture, it has some systems by which people who are doing some good things are appreciated.
At one side, even in devotional culture, on one side, we are told to be humble. But on another side, we are also told that we should appreciate each other. We should glorify each other.
अमानिना मानदेना If you see at one level, if I am going to follow Amani, I should not want any respect for myself. But I follow Manadena. And if you are going to follow Manadena, अमानिना मानदेना, if I am going to give respect to you and you are going to give respect to me, then how can we be Amani? Isn’t it? Means, is it that it’s obviously not an instruction for only one person, it’s for everybody in the community.
So, Sri Prabhupada writes that humility means to not be anxious to have the satisfaction of being honored by others. It doesn’t say that we should not be honored by others or that we should not feel satisfied when we are honored by others. It is that we should not be anxious to have that satisfaction.
So, it’s actually a good human culture to respect others, to honor others, to appreciate others if they are doing something good for us. But if seeking that honor becomes our sole driving motive and not getting that honor agitates us so much that we can’t function at all, then it is a serious problem. At one level, respecting and exchanging, it’s a reciprocation.
Bhuhiyam akhyat pruchchati te said, share the heart in confidence. So, if I have appreciation for you or you have appreciation for me, if we don’t share it, then how are we sharing our heart? But, in some situations or in many situations actually, the motive for doing something may only be that without validation. That’s why what we can choose is from whom am I seeking validation? If I start seeking validation from people whose values are very low, then I’ll have to do those things.
If I seek validation from a group of alcoholics, from alcoholic friends, then in order to hang out with that crowd, I’ll have to become alcoholic. If I seek validation from friends who are teetotallers, then I’ll become a teetotaller. So, basically, just like we say we cannot give up desires, we have to redirect desires, similarly, we cannot give up the need for validation, but we need to redirect it in a way that it is helpful for us.
And also, while seeking validation, we have to be realistic. That means some people may affirm us, some people may not affirm us, even when we are doing the right thing. So, to spiritualize ourselves does not mean to dehumanize ourselves.
It simply means that we act at a level which is not limited by our human level. So, at a human level, we want reciprocation. So, if I do something for you, I expect something from you.
But, if I speak some kind words to you, I expect you to speak some kind words to me. But if that doesn’t happen, then if I have a higher purpose, still I will continue to act according to my higher purpose or higher principles. But, having said all this, so, wanting validation is not necessarily an impure motive.
But, when that motive, say, becomes stronger than the motive of pleasing Krishna or of gaining spiritual realization through self-purification and that motive starts dominating my consciousness and if that motive is not fulfilled, then I stop doing it. Then, it is a problem. So, the way Prabhupada presented Krishna Bhakti, he said, sharing it is a part of our sadhana.
It is not that we are perfected and after that we share. It is that while where we are, we keep sharing and just as by our chanting, by our studying scriptures, we get purified, similarly by our sharing Krishna Bhakti also, we get purified. And by that we move, keep moving steadily towards Krishna.
And in general, even if, say, I have an excessive need for validation, but how am I going to become free from it? It is, if that need is there, that need has to be fulfilled in some other way. So, I may, if I am not sharing Krishna Bhakti, I am doing some other activities and through those I am seeking the fulfillment of that need. So, I may have some close relationship and in those relationships there may be a lot of emotional dependency.
So, by not doing the service, that need is not going to go away. I say that sometimes some devotees are talented but they say that I won’t do this service because I am a good singer but I won’t sing because if I sing I will become proud. But then, I would say that well, at one level it’s a good fear but to say that, think that I will become proud is also a form of pride because I am assuming that I am not proud right now.
So, it’s actually that pride is there in our hearts already. But that pride is simply maybe right now I am not an ethereal being which is which is worthy enough for me to express my pride. So, it’s not that after doing something special we become proud.
After doing something special we express our pride. So, the way to the way to become free from the pride is to actually keep serving Krishna and serving Krishna will purify us. So, if I keep if I if I keep singing about Krishna doing kirtans then initially I will be concerned how many people appreciate my singing.
Then I will start realizing that the pleasure that I get when others appreciate my singing that is fine but actually it is the absorption in the kirtan itself I get so much higher pleasure. And the absorption is actually so much more fulfilling than the dependence on appreciation from others. And slowly my focus will shift from the need for appreciation or from the craving for appreciation to the cultivation of absorption.
And that’s how purification is. So, that’s why I said that we never give up our service to Krishna but try to do it in such a way that gradually we can move towards more and more absorption and that’s how purification will come.