How can we stop our family members from using items having animal products?

From: varun
prabhu ji how a person can stop children and wife from not using animal products. my wife uses cream and other makeup products which contain animal ingredients like glicerien made from animal skin. so if i stop her for using products i will  become fool in society people will say many things even my wife and children also.what should i do in this circumstances

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Hare Krishna. Question from Varun Chawla Prabhu. How can a person stop children and wife from using animal products? My wife uses cream and other makeup products which contain animal ingredients like glycerin made from animal skin.
So, if I stop her from using products, I will become fool in society. People will say so many things. Even my wife and children also.
What should I do in this circumstance? Answer. First and foremost, we have to understand that every individual has free will. Krishna has made it that way.
And we can’t stamp on anyone’s free will. We have to respect every individual’s free will. And if they are family members, then we have to respect them because we have a lifelong relationship with them.
And by our example, and by our kindness, by our culture, gradually, they will become attracted to Krishna consciousness. And when they become attracted to Krishna consciousness, then gradually, they will give up these things. So, trying to impose things on others, on the authority of one’s own position as the leader of the house, that may lead to some acceptance in a reluctant or even a resentful way for some time.
But that will come back again to us to trouble us in the long run. So, essentially, we have to recognize that the changing of the heart is a gradual process. You know, most devotees, when they come to Krishna consciousness themselves, they often need a lot of understanding and love and care and patience by which they come.
Unless, of course, they are special souls who have already been practiced Krishna consciousness in previous life. And then they have come immediately now. But just as we need understanding, culture, patience, similarly, understanding, care, patience, similarly, others also need that.
And often we expect our family members, just because I have taken this up, so you should also take it up. No, things don’t work like that. No, they are separate souls and they have their own backgrounds and they will take their own time.
So, the most important thing to do is that we be there for them and we help them in whatever way we can, do our responsibilities competently. And we can, if once or twice, occasionally we tell them that we would be happy to practice Krishna consciousness and if they have some reservations about it, we can discuss with them calmly and try to persuade them, maybe introduce them. Very important is, rather than we trying to preach to them, we also introduce them to someone who is like-minded like them.
So, now, for example, there are other devotee Matajis. You know, it’s not that just because a person becomes a devotee, one has to stop using all personal care products. So, people may want to use certain things.
Then, if people meet somebody else who is a similar situation, they find there are other Matajis who are actually avoiding these kind of products, that may inspire them. So, rather than trying to be ourselves, by our will, force them to practice Krishna consciousness, we should focus on trying to let them make the choice and providing them the facilities to make that choice. That facilities may be taking them to the temple or getting them to meet devotees who are from a similar background as them and trying to, most important, provide our own example.
And especially with respect to certain lifestyle choices, it is important that we don’t keep grating on them. I didn’t do this, do this, do this, do this. That will simply strain our relationship.
So, rather than doing that, we set a good example ourselves and then let our family members see that by our becoming Krishna conscious, we have become better persons. And when they see that, oh, my father, my husband has become a better person, and then what has happened? Because of this, it has become. Then I also want to do like that.
But on the other hand, if they see that because of Krishna consciousness, my father has become, my husband has become more demanding, do this, do this, don’t do this, don’t do this, then they will get a negative perception of Krishna consciousness because of us. And that is a great disservice that we will do to them. So, of course, Krishna consciousness does expect us to make changes.
But Krishna consciousness gives us a higher taste and it gives us a higher understanding. And that higher understanding and higher taste enables us, inspires us and empowers us to make those changes. So, we should be thinking not just of getting our family members to do the right thing.
We should be thinking more in terms of how we can provide it in the facilities by which they can make the right choice. And even if that takes time, we should be patient. We can pray to Krishna and be patient and try to set as good an example as possible.
If we can, if they are ready to be persuaded, we can use logical, philosophical reasons why there is, how there is bad karma involved. And therefore, we should not do it. But ultimately, it is their choice and imposing anything will create conflicts in the long run.
So, focus on setting a good example and helping them by providing facilities to make the right choice.