How do our conditionings shape our behavior without determining it?
Answer Podcast
Transcript
Disclaimer: This transcript was generated using AI and may contain occasional errors or inaccuracies.
So, if we are conditioned in a particular way either by our upbringing or by our genes then they prompt us to act in a particular way. So, how they will shape our behavior and not determine our behavior. The conditioning from whatever source it comes before us, it dangles certain courses of action which seem to be like natural responses for us.
At the same time, what seems natural is not always essential or desirable. So, for example, say in the past there have been a lot of discrimination. Say for example, people who were whites in America, they used to look at people who were African Americans, these are low class people or say because of the theory of social Darwinism, social Darwinism was the idea that the Darwinian survival of the fittest doctrine was applied to different races and social Darwinism was the idea that some races are good and some races are bad.
And Hitler took that idea and he said the Aryans whom we consider Germans, he said they are the best race and the Jews are the worst race. So, now with this idea, he said that actually because the Jews are the worst race, so the Jews are going to be annihilated by nature. Because only the fit are going to survive, the unfit are going to die.
And his idea was that when we are killing the Jews, we are in the gas chambers, we are helping nature accelerate its course of progress. So, that was his idea. And actually he brainwashed practically speaking the whole nation at that time.
So, now can we say now during the Nuremberg trials, at that time, many of the Nuremberg trials and the trials when many of the generals of Nazi Germany, they were trying. So, many of the generals at that time said that we were simply following orders. That is what our bosses told us to do.
And that is why we arrested and we killed the Jews. So, the point is that we all have a basic sense of conscience. We all have our intelligence.
And just because in the name of following orders of some authority, we cannot act in barbaric or brutal ways. So, the point here is that certain circumstances, so for them at that time, it may well say in action, okay, somebody is a Jew, tell about them, get them arrested and but then they have their conscience and they should have chosen not to act that way. So, just as we can easily understand that even if there is an atmosphere of hatred against a particular community, we are not bound to hate that community.
We have a choice to act more objectively. So, just as there is a social environment, which may push us towards certain perceptions, but it does not force us to act according to those perceptions. Just as what social environment does, similarly, our mental environment also.
Now, we may have a perception of some people to be like this, or some problems to be like this or whatever. But we are different from our mind. And our mind may push us to act in particular ways.
But we can counter push. So, for example, say, if somebody is studying for an exam, and the exam is six months away, and they say, oh, today is a cricket match, maybe I just go and watch the cricket match. And you say, yes.
If the exam is six months away, you say, okay, let me watch the cricket match. But if the exam is tomorrow, the same impulse is coming, let me watch the cricket match. But if somebody, when the exam is tomorrow and they watch the cricket match, you know, the other will chastise them.
You could have watched the cricket match, you should have studied now. So, the point is that we ourselves see there are situations when impulses come and we have the capacity to say no to the impulses. So, by the way we have acted, the extent to which we can say no or say yes, that may vary.
So, for example, say, if we are short tempered, then when somebody irritates us, we tend to become angry. So, now what may happen is that we may not, it will be, if somebody irritates us, it may be difficult for us to avoid the emotion of anger. But we can avoid expressing that anger immediately.
So, for example, what I do is when somebody acts in a way that really makes me wild. So, I cannot just wish away the anger, the anger is there. But if I express it, I know I will speak in ways that will hurt that person unnecessarily and I will not be able to make the proper points which I want to make.
On the other hand, if I do not speak it also, then I am repressing myself. And actually, I am not really improving the situation also, because they may keep repeating that situation. So, sometimes what I do is I just write a mail expressing my full anger.
But then I make a rule, I will not send that mail. So, for at least 24 hours, I just keep it there as it is. And then after 24 hours, then I read the mail, hey, this is too heavy.
I should not have spoken like this. And then I say, yeah, this is a reasonable point, but maybe I can rephrase this a little bit. Sometimes I may not send the mail at all.
Sometimes I may edit the mail a lot and send some part of it and keep the other part as it is. Or sometimes, very few occasions, particularly never I would say I have sent the mail as it is. So, that time, I need to express myself, but others do not need to hear my expression.
So, based on our conditioning, whichever the conditioning may be, we have to find out some way, we cannot choke the emotion that is there. But just because we cannot choke the emotion does not mean that we have to in an unregulated way express it. So, to find some way in which when a particular course of action seems to be the natural course of action for us, at that time, we may not be able to say no to it.
And trying to say no to it may appear like repression. But instead of no, we can have a pause button. This pause, okay, I feel like doing this, but not immediately.
So, journaling, writing a letter like this is basically journaling. You know, in a journal, we express our emotions and we give vent to them. And then once we get those thoughts and emotions outside us, then that creates a certain level of objectivity.
As long as they are inside us, they are just creating congestion inside. They are not allowing us to think in any new way. The mind is going along the same old tired tracks again and again and again.
But once we get it out, there is a certain release that is created. And afterwards, when we read it after some time, there is some objectivity. So, how exactly when we are prompted to act in particular ways, how we can check that, that we will have to use our own creativity to find out how to do that.
But there is, what our conditioning does is, it presents us certain options. But just to give an example, just like there is a multiple choice paper. You know, in the multiple choice exam, we do not think necessarily that the first choice is going to be the right choice.
Is not it? Sometimes the first choice will be the right choice, but the rightness of the choice, the rightness of the option is not determined by its position. It is determined by its content. So, if we are just in a too tearing hurry, A, A, A, A for all of them, you know, me may get a F because of that.
So, like that, by our conditionings, the first option that comes, we tend to act on that first option itself. But by creating some kind of pause button for ourselves, we can make sure the first option has come, but the first option may not necessarily be the best option. So, our conditionings present the first option as a very natural or alluring option for us.
But by finding out how we can create a pause button for ourselves, we can avoid acting on that option and then eventually we can choose how to act. So, the mind, which is the way through which most of our conditionings come upon us, the mind can impel, it cannot compel. Impel means to push, whereas compel means to force.
So, when the mind pushes, we can resist, we can counter push. So, it does not compel us, it does not take away our free will. And the more we choose to counter push, the greater our free will becomes more and more active, and then we can make healthier choices.
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