How do we avoid prayasa in the services we like to do?

So the question is that when we try to achieve success in some area of service, often we want to work hard and that hard work often makes us feel as if maybe we can cut down on our sadhana or basic Krishna consciousness so that we can get more things done and do more service to Krishna. In general, there is always a danger of getting into the mode of passion in whatever way and it is not necessarily related with any specific service. Normally, now we think of say direct devotional activities like chanting or studying scriptures or doing devotional work as more transcendental than say fundraising or doing scientific outreach or something like that.

Now in one sense yes, the connection with Krishna is more in these activities but still it is the same consciousness that is connected with Krishna and so one can very well go into the mode of passion while even studying scripture or for that matter, there are many devotees who chant at 64 rounds, 192 rounds. At one level it is very good, an ekadashi or dasa bhakti on stage but sometimes it just becomes a bead pulling exercise wherein the focus is not on trying to fix the mind on Krishna but it is on just getting the thing done. So now of course there is some good, some threat that comes even by meeting the target.

There is some willpower that is exercised and some sense of satisfaction that okay I decided I will chant this way and I will chant at 64 rounds. That is good but at the same time it is also important that we observe ourselves in Krishna. So to some extent this will boil down to every devotee's sincerity.

Whether while I am doing the service am I observing in Krishna or am I absorbed simply in the passion of the service and it will also depend on what keeps us Krishna conscious. So certainly we have our basic sadhana, 64 rounds chanting and other sadhana that we need to do always but overall the possibility of a person falling into passion is always there. It is not that just because one does the basic sadhana one may not fall into passion.

Sadhana is like we could say initial insurance or initial fence but still it is we who have to lock the fence. Now I may be inside the fence but if I keep the fence open that means I do the sadhana, I keep myself within that regulated program but still I let my ego drive my activities. Even through these activities we may become proud or we may become passionate.

Now having said that certainly that possibility is more when we are doing activities which are less and less connected with Krishna because often such activities also require us more to connect with people who are less and less connected with Krishna and because of that we may ourselves go more into the mode of passion. So when there are high pressure, high demand, emergency situations then those are special. Say for example here it may be at the time of Akhyatra, one of the days before Akhyatra or suppose sometimes a new temple is being inaugurated at that time the beat of the book may be a lot.

Say some devotee is publishing books maybe the last 2-3 days of publication. So every service has its high tension periods and at that time if one adjusts the sadhana at that time that is ok but at a routine basis adjusting the sadhana so that one can get more service done that is not a very healthy practice and it can overall lead to minimization of the spiritual practices in our own mind as well as minimization in the eyes of others. That means there are two possibilities.

We may ourselves realize that actually these are important and I have no intention of decreasing the attentiveness to them but I have done this in the morning so I will do this in the afternoon or something like that. We may have no intention but it is not a very good example for others and others who have not yet learned that priority they may also take that wrong example and more than that what may happen is that you may also start subtle minimizing things. So it is always good to have some senior devotees whom you can consult that this is the time and this is what I feel I should do and if they agree then you can go ahead and in general nobody, we are, Prabhupada made our movement permanently practical so in that sense if there are real high pressure demands that will be understood but if emergency is happening every other day then that means what needs emergency attention is not just the activities that we are doing but actually the planning behind the activities.

When we have too much load or we are too disorganized so emergencies by their very nature should be occasional and then during emergencies things can definitely be adjusted but in general as a matter of policy it is always good to give priority to our sadhana and then in general see when we do service actually there is one very important caution point about doing the service according to our sabhaav. That's what we have been discussing that we should always find our sabhaav and do the service according to sabhaav. One great danger in that is that it is very easy to think of oneself as a doer.

Why? Because we actually can be do it and do it much better than others. So it is very easy to think of us as a doer. In fact if there is something which we are not good at then it is actually very easy to understand that we are not the doers because we are not doing anything or we are certainly not doing anything that we will be proud of.

So then how can we be careful about this doership when we are doing the activity that we like to do. That we like to do means that which has our sabhaav to do. That non-doership or that understanding of divine agency that actually Krishna is doing to me that will come only through our devotional connection.

That will come through our sadhana. Otherwise it will become karta aham iti manyate. So we may get a lot than us and from practical point of view materialistic people often get lot more things done than us but then they are bound by that because there is external purpose of doing devotional service and there is an internal purpose of doing devotional service.

The external purpose is to get the service done so that in the outer world we manifest a result for Krishna's pleasure, for Krishna's glorification and the inner result of service is that we become attached to Krishna. That our attraction to Krishna increases. So the purpose of service is neither productivity nor popularity.

It is purity. The purpose of service is neither productivity. Productivity means how much service I get.

I distribute so many books. I give so many programs. Nor is it popularity.

Oh so many people like me because I am giving services. Now in a preaching movement both these two are important. No doubt about it.

But they are not the primary purpose when we do devotional service. The purpose of service is neither productivity nor popularity. It is purity.

So what do we mean by purity? Just by doing that service we are keeping ourselves connected with Krishna. We are keeping ourselves engaged in Krishna consciousness and that contact itself is purifying and of course when we offer our heart to Krishna, offering our consciousness to Krishna then we go closer to him. See the one way of understanding this hierarchy from 12.81 Krishna says that just fix your mind and indulgence in me.

At next level is try to fix the mind on me. That is sadhana. At next level if you can't do that then work for me.

And then after that it is work for me means you work and give the fruits to me or just do diet and seva for me. Or you can work and give the fruits to some good cause. That is the next level.

So here what is the point? See the point of bhakti is to give our heart to Krishna. So now our heart is filled with so many things and we can't very easily give our heart to Krishna. So the next level down is if we can't give our heart to Krishna then we give what is in our heart to Krishna.

We can't give our heart to Krishna then we give what is in our heart to Krishna. So for example naturally money has a very primary place in the heart. So when we give money has a place in the heart.

When one gives money to Krishna what happens? One is giving what is in one's heart to Krishna. And by that one gives Krishna a place in one's heart. So similarly with respect to our sabhava what we are doing is I as a writer I like to write.

So more than Krishna in my heart is writing. But when I write for Krishna what happens is what I naturally and easily can think about Krishna enters into that subject. And that way Krishna comes into my heart.

But then that Krishna connection also needs to be separately established. Otherwise this will just become like another middle activity which we are good at. So by overall remembering the purpose that our goal is not just to get the service done but our goal is to connect ourselves with Krishna through that service.

So now one challenge in the preaching movement is that those who get results, get things done are often glamorized. And they are often seen as successful and they are praised and we may equate that sort of public recognition with spiritual advancement. But it is not necessarily so.

Just because a devotee is very much praised by others that does not necessarily mean the devotee is spiritually advanced. Yes the devotee will pray and devotees will bless that will lead to spiritual advancement. But what leads to spiritual advancement is not just the blessings.

It's one's inner disposition. If one is becoming proud by that then those blessings will also not enter into the heart. Krishna is attracting Krishna will not enter into the heart.

So therefore if we are doing the sadhana clearly then our inner compass will not get misdirected, will be clear. Why am I doing this activity? And then we will ourselves be able to get a sense of balance. So now what that sense of balance will be may be different for different people.

Some devotee may find that everyday I need to study one hour or two hours or whatever. Some devotee may feel that nature of my service is that I have to get out and do things. So may be for one week, two weeks I just do a lot of services and then I take 2-3 days off and then I do intense studies.

Some other devotee may be that I study with some other devotee in a group and whenever we get together we study. Other times I just do my services. So now this also in the initial stages of our life it may be good that we have sustenance.

Because initially we are not going to decide. But over a period of time that level of individuality is perfectly fine. Some devotees I know that, I will give 2-3 different examples of how different devotees get nourished.

So one devotee told me, when I talk about devotees most of them are talking about Prabhupada's disciples. I won't violate their practices by telling their names. Some of them are sannyasis because I am a writer and they are also writers.

So I have talked a lot with them. So one of them told me that what he does with Prabhupada's purports is, he takes those purports, whichever he is reading, whichever touches him, he writes it in his own words converting it into a prayer. This is what Prabhupada wants me to do and this is how I can be doing it and this is what I need to be able to do.

And that rephrasing in one's own words and then verbalizing that as a prayer, that gives him far greater strength than just reading the purports. So reading the purports doesn't have to be the same mechanical activity of reading. Some other devotees may find that, just not reading the purports but reading Sanskrit and memorizing the verses and then praying as per those verses with the details.

That may give them a lot of strength. So they may instead of reading a lot of pages, they may read just a few purports and memorize a lot of the verses and contemplate a lot on them. There are some other devotees who basically decide that, there are 2-3 devotees who just said that we will ourselves read these sections, we will come together and then we will churn them together.

And after churning that then they read it again and then they find that, now all this is, after some time in the initial years of our spiritual life, they just caught up with, ok I have to complete Bhagavatam, I have to complete CC, I have to read Sri Prabhupada's books at least once and that is a good motive. But after a period of time you realize that in spiritual life it's not so much a matter of study, it's not so much a matter of learning something new, it is more a matter of applying what we already knew. It's not about learning something new, it's about applying what we already knew.

And then for that there are ways in which we have to sort of sharpen the blade, we have to find out ways in which we can integralize things. So for me journal writing helps a lot. So I read something, I hear something and then I phrase it in my own words and I kind of convert it into a prayer.

So basically that means I am trying to say two points in answer to your question that definitely we need to give due time to sadhana and only in emergencies should the sadhana be adjusted. But the second point I am making is that every individual will have to decide how best I can do my service and how best I can do my sadhana. So that means in what kind of study gives me internal strength and what way do I do my service by which I can best stay in the mood of being a servant.

So that will not be decided in the early years of our spiritual life but as we move forward it becomes more and more clear to us. And this is how I should be doing these things. And then that is actually the meaning of एक प्रोग्रासिवल गाव जुद्धी योगंतन ये न ना होते हैं As you keep trying to do services and especially if you are introspective in terms of thinking, okay I did a service but how much did I actually how much are the Krishna conscious, what could I have done? No more Krishna conscious.

Then we will see even in those services Krishna will guide us how we can come closer and closer to him through those services. This answer the question.