How do we deal with negative people who are not transformable?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
So, sometimes, sometimes, I think the Pandavas, Kauravas, they had so much past issues that eventually they had to go to war.
So, I did not talk about that aspect, where we are stopping or transforming. But, what if there are some people in our life that are not transformable? Then, what do we do about that? Yeah. When I talk about transform, the point there was that we can transform ourselves.
As I said, the mind is both the wall on which the impression is made, as well as the people who are putting the graffiti over there. But, with respect to others, we have only finite influence on them. And, if somebody is not willing to be transformed, then, when we are facing an unpalatable situation, we have broadly three options.
Say, if I come to a place where I find the weather to be very unfavorable, it’s too cold for me, then, I have three options. Tolerate, mitigate, or emigrate. Tolerate, just, okay, I’ll get used to it.
Mitigate, always make sure, it’s too cold, I have warm clothes with me, I make sure that in my car, in my home, wherever I am, I have a liquid, temperature control is there. I mitigate it. Or, I can’t stay here, emigrate to some other place.
The same principle, same three options, we can apply to the social weather around us. That means, some people may just be very hostile. So, we have three options.
One is, just tolerate, change ourselves. Or, second is, we do something to change the situation. That is, we report to someone, take assertive action, take some disciplinary action, or at least do whatever is required.
Or, third is, I just don’t want to get involved in this. I have better things to do in my life, I just move on. Now, all these three options can be done in a mood of service, or all three can be done in a negative mood.
In the Mahabharata itself, you see the Pandavas doing all these three options at different times. Initially, when Bhima was poisoned, or when they were attempted to be burnt in Varanavarth, Yudhishthira told the Pandavas, this is a family issue, don’t bring it in public, just tolerate. But eventually, when Draupadi was dishonoured, eventually when the Pandavas, when the Kauravas showed no signs of remorse or reformation, then the Kauravas fought.
So, the Pandavas fought a war, but they did not fight primarily for revenge. They fought for establishing Dharma. And third, eventually when Krishna departed from the world, at that time, they decided enough.
Now, we also want to renounce the world, and they renounced. So, similarly for us, we have these three options. Now, depending on what the political situation is, what is really important for us, we may decide, okay, this person is just like this, and I just have to become more thick-skinned with this person.
Let’s tolerate and move on. Sometimes we may decide, no, this person is hurting me, and he will keep hurting me. This person will hurt others also.
So, how do we take action? We take action not in a vengeful mood, but in a mood of protection. Protecting ourselves, protecting others, and ultimately protecting that person also. If they keep hurting others, they are going to get the karma for that.
They are going to get the reactions for that. So, we may take some disciplinary action. Otherwise, we may decide that, I have better things to do in my life.
Let me move on. Now, let me move on to something else. Let me walk away from this.
See, walking away is different from running away. Running away means my mind is still there. When we run away, our focus is, oh, I want to go anywhere except here.
So, it’s not that I have something more important to do. I just have, this is so dreadful, I want to get away from here. That’s not what we are talking about.
Walking away means, okay, I can deal with this if I need to, but why should I do it? I have better things. So, we, if we have that mood of Krishna, you are my lord, I am your servant. Please guide me.
How best can I serve in this situation? So, with that prayerful service attitude if we approach the situation and then we can consider all these three options as ways of serving. And we can find out which is the most effective way I can serve. With that attitude, we’ll be able to find out how best to move forward.