How hurt people hurt people 2 – Learning to process our emotions before acting on them

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Welcome back, we will continue our discussion on the character analysis of Karana, focussing on the processing of emotions now. I was talking about the theme of how we have an emotional side and we have a rational side. Now in the Ramayana, there is a striking incident where Bharat comes with the full army to persuade Ram to come back to the kingdom.
At that time Lakshman suspects that Bharat has come to attack and kill Ram. He becomes very angry and he says that I will kill Bharat. Ram says no.
Bharat’s love for me is as much as his love for you. And then actually he sees that. How Bharat so desperately, so earnestly begs Ram to come back.
And finally he goes with his padukas. Then after that, Lakshman and Ram are sitting there as a brotherly chat. And Lakshman asks Ram, why did I become so angry? Ram says, you know, you are sentimental.
You are sentimental. Then Lakshman asks, are sentiments bad? Ram says no, sentiments are not bad. Sentiments are the ornaments of life.
But we need to choose those sentiments that lift us towards dharma. Not those sentiments that take us away from dharma. So we all have emotions.
But we need to choose those emotions which take us towards dharma. And we need to avoid those emotions which take us away from dharma. And that is central to processing of our emotions.
What is the criteria by which we process our emotions? That is, whether they are taking us towards dharma. Ultimately, Lord Krishna, Lord Vishnu is the lord of dharma. So whether they are taking us towards Krishna or taking us away from Krishna.
They take us on the right path or they take us on the wrong path. So when somebody disappoints us, somebody insults us, somebody betrays us. At that time, to feel hurt is just natural.
Now, after that hurt happens, what do I do with that? That hurt is there. I can use that emotion. Every emotion brings with it some energy.
Anger brings some energy. Different emotions, they allure us in different ways. Say for example, lust.
It allures us with pleasure. You do this, you enjoy so much. But anger allures us through power.
Anger allures us by saying, you become angry. You have been taking this for very long now. Just show that person what you can do.
So anger allures us by making us feel that if I become angry, I will show him my power. The allurement of anger comes through power. But actually, anger makes us weak.
Because when we become angry, what are we doing? We are becoming too weak to resist the allurement of anger. So different temptations allure in different ways. Anger allures through power.
And if you understand this, that actually it’s an illusion. There is no real power over there. For a few moments say, when I verbally lash out at someone or physically lash out at somebody, I get a sense of power.
But afterwards, those actions have consequences. Usually, the person lashes back at us. Or we have to consider that in some other way.
We regret, we apologise. So many things happen. So usually, anger or a response in anger makes a problem worse than what it is.
The problem is there. When I’m angry, I make the problem even worse. So when we are hurt, the instinctive response is to get back at the person.
You did like this, I will do like that to you. If you do this, I’ll do 10 times more. You’re not sure what you’re going to do.
But you have to understand that when we are hurt, the most important thing is not to get back. It is to get seen. Not get back, but get seen.
An example, suppose, we are going along a path in the woods, a forested path. And suddenly, we feel a sting on our neck. We see a snake slithering by.
You snake! If I get angry, I’ll say, You snake! How dare you bit me! I will show you! I will beat you to death! I start chasing after the snake. And even if I succeed in reaching it, even if I pound it, even if I crush it to its death, what does it think? Actually, through it all, the poison is spreading faster in my body. The poison will reach the heart.
The poison will reach the brain. Even if I succeed in killing the snake, I have killed myself. So, when I am bit by a snake, the first thing, the most important thing is not to beat the snake.
The first thing is not to get back, but to get seen. So, like that. Now, get seen doesn’t necessarily mean run away.
Get seen simply means that we make sure that the hurt that is there, that is healed. So, yes. Life does hurt us, right? People do speak in ways that, can speak or act in ways that can even be painful for us.
But the first thing we have to do is not to get back, but to get seen. And how do we get seen, actually? We are all souls. We are eternal spiritual beings.
And we are all parts of Krishna. As parts of Krishna, we have a vertical relationship with Krishna. And we have horizontal relationship with him.
And now, in the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says in 10.41, that he has been purified from śrīmad-urcitaṁ eva vā tattvate rāva-gacchato mamate jo aṁśasaṁ bhava He says, whatever we attract in this world, it manifests a spark of Mahāspīndara. That means, it’s not just with respect to objects. It’s also with people.
If we find someone attractive, then that person’s attractiveness manifests a spark of Krishna’s love. If a particular person loves us, has offered us some love, it is actually Krishna’s love, a fraction of Krishna’s love, manifesting through that person. There is horizontal relationship that we have.
Sometimes the horizontal relationships work out well. Sometimes they work out not so well. Sometimes they work out very well.
Now, all the horizontal relationships are ultimately to make the pointers towards the vertical relationship. Because that relationship alone is eternal. All the relationships, the temporary doesn’t mean they are unimportant.
While they exist, they are important. And we need those relationships also. And we need to be committed to those relationships.
At the same time, none of the horizontal relationships can ever provide us the fulfilment that comes in the vertical relationship with Krishna. So when we recognise that actually, ultimately my heart is longing for Krishna, we give due amount of time and energy for developing our vertical relationship with Krishna. And when that vertical relationship is strong, then we get a stability in that relationship.
When we get stability in that relationship, that is what helps us to bring maturity into our other relationships. See, every relationship is not just a matter of we relating with other person. We often define ourselves in terms of our relationships.
Often our self-worth is determined by the kind of mutual relationship. So that means, let’s start with childhood. When small children they find their parents are not there with them at all.
Nobody cares for them. Children don’t just feel unloved. They feel unloved, but more than that, they feel unloveable.
They feel there is something wrong with me because of which no one loves me. They don’t understand the concept. The parents may love them a lot, but they don’t understand.
When children are very small, they don’t understand their parents are so busy and they have so many things to do. That is all true, but only when they grow up, they will understand it. They are small.
In relationships, we talk about quality time. We spend quality time. We are there, people give attention, new time.
Yes, quality time is good, but when children are very small, they don’t understand quality time. They need quantity time. They need, who is there with me most of the time.
If nobody is there with me, or whoever is there, he doesn’t really love me. Then they start feeling, I am unloveable. So what happens is, relationships are not just a matter of emotions that takes place in relationships.
Those emotions share our own self-conception. That the child doesn’t just feel unloved, the child feels unloveable. And feeling unloved is a bad enough problem, but feeling unloved is not as big a problem as feeling unloveable.
The child feels there is something wrong with me only, because of which my parents don’t love me. That becomes a much bigger problem. That becomes a self-esteem issue.
It becomes a psychological growth issue. Now the same principle applies to us even when we grow up. There is a child within us even when we grow up.
And in every relationship, we define ourselves. We define ourselves. I am the husband of so-and-so.
I am the wife of so-and-so. I am the child of so-and-so. I am the parent of so-and-so.
I am the friend of so-and-so. I am the brother of so-and-so. I am the sister of so-and-so.
And in every relationship, it is, we define ourselves. And when there is any problem, when there is any resistance, when there is any rejection, when there is any insult, in any relationship, that affects our own selective emotion. If somebody rejects me in a relationship, then it doesn’t just, the rejection doesn’t hurt, the rejection also raises my own question about myself.
Is there something wrong with me? Am I unloveable? And that issue is a far neater issue. Now, bhakti is not just about chanting Hare Krishna or coming to a temple. Bhakti ultimately is about changing our self-definition.
Bhakti is about changing our self-definition to understand that I am a part of Krishna. Yes, I have functional designations in this world. I said I am the husband of someone, the wife of someone, all these designations I have.
Fundamentally, I am a part of Krishna. Krishna said all living beings are my parts, eternally. Eternally we are parts of Krishna.
And whatever happens, Krishna always loves us. This is the central message of the Bhagavad Gita. In the Bhagavad Gita, it is a very philosophical book, but the central message of Bhagavad Gita is that Krishna loves every one of us.
Therefore, we should respond and offer our love to him. And this, Krishna’s love for us is unconditional. Krishna’s love for us is not based on who we are.
Krishna’s love for us is based on who he is. He is the all-attractive, all-loving, all-merciful lord of all living beings. So his love for us is based on who he is.
Sometimes you may think, actually we have Krishna’s past and this pure devotee. It’s so wonderful, but you know, I am not still pure devotee. So I am left out of this.
Well, we are left out not because Krishna doesn’t love us. We are left out because we don’t love Krishna. So when I said Krishna’s love for us is not based on who we are.
It is based on who he is. But our experience of his love is based on who we are. If I am directing my love towards worldly objects, then I can’t feel Krishna’s love.
The sun is giving light all the time. If I close my eyes, I can’t feel the sun’s light. So when we are too attached to the objects of this world, when our love is directed primarily towards the objects of this world, then those objects become the filter through which we view Krishna’s love.
That means, I want this, I want this, I want this. And if this works out right, then Krishna loves me. If this doesn’t work out right, then what does Krishna need me for? Does Krishna even exist? So what has happened is that we are perceiving Krishna’s love through the filter of the objects that we love in this world.
To love Krishna doesn’t mean that you have to reject all the objects of this world. To love Krishna means to put Krishna first. Put Krishna first.
Krishna is my first and foremost relationship. And all other relationships are in the context of that relationship. So I am a part of Krishna.
And as a part of Krishna, I am the parent of someone. I am the husband of someone. I am the wife of someone.
All these are internal. When we put Krishna first, it’s both intellectual as well as practical. When we intellectually, philosophically understand, that ultimately Krishna is the supreme reality.
Vasudeva, Sarvamiti, Samahatma, Sudurga. In 7.19 the Bhagavad Gita Krishna says, Vasudeva, Sarvamiti, Vasudeva, Krishna, everything. He is the be-all and end-all.
He is the embodiment of everything attractive that I find in everyone. That understanding, people who have this understanding are very rare. Samahatma, Sudurga.
By philosophical study we are meant to come to this understanding. But it’s not just philosophical, it’s also practical. Through the activities of bhakti, which connect us with Krishna, we understand, gradually we formalise this, that Krishna is, we start experiencing a connection with Krishna.
This connection with Krishna brings us stability. It brings us calmness. We may not see Krishna playing his flute, such as in Mahabharata we see in ecstatic trances, where he would chant any Krishna.
But when we chant, when we go into the details, when we pray to Krishna, we can experience a calming of the mind, a stabilising of our core. And that is the experience of God for us at our level. So when we experience this, when we define ourselves first and foremost as parts of Krishna, when our self-definition is based on our relationship with Krishna, then with that stability and maturity, we can weather the storms in our other relationships better.
So if something goes wrong in the relationship, then yes, this person has hurt me, this person has rejected me, this person has betrayed me, Krishna still loves me. And that hurt is still there. As I said, there is emotion and there is self-identification.
A child feels unloved, that emotion is bad. But when there is self-identification, I am unloved. That is far more damaging.
So for us as devotees, if we will also, whether we are a devotee community or a non-devotee community, there will be ups and downs in our relationships. People will disappoint us. But if we are defining ourselves in terms of any hormonal relationship, there is emotions of hurt which will be there, which cannot be denied.
Anybody does something which disappoints us, betrays us, we will actually feel bad about it. But the emotion becomes much more damaging when it leads to self-identification. This person rejected me, or I am unloved, I am vulnerable, I am useless.
That is far more damaging. And that doesn’t happen for a devotee. Because a devotee is centred in one’s relationship with Krishna.
And the vertical relationship, when we put it first, then the horizontal relationships, we can take them in our stride. And nobody is perfect. We all will hurt each other.
Sometime ago I was giving a seminar, and I was talking about tolerance. So I asked, we all have to tolerate many things. So what all do we have to tolerate? So one devotee very enthusiastically raised her hand.
He said, yes, we have to tolerate devotees. We have to tolerate devotees. I said, yes, it is a good realisation that while practising bhakti, some devotees create trouble for us, we have to tolerate that and we have to go on.
But if we keep practising, we will also realise that devotees are tolerating us. It is not that we are tolerating others. Others may have certain personality traits, weird characteristics.
We just can’t manage it. We just can’t tolerate it. We find it very difficult.
So we tolerate that. But we also have certain characteristics which we can’t tolerate, which others find difficult. So it is a process of mutual tolerance to some extent.
So essentially, as we grow in our spiritual life, we, if we are sheltered in our relationship with Krishna, then we can tolerate ups and downs of the relationships. So there are hurts. Now, whenever there is a problem, the more we think about the problem, the bigger it becomes.
The more we think about it. Yes, somebody called me. Now, say we go into a room and we greet someone and that person slumps us.
How dare you slump me like this? Then the more I think about it, now the slump may happen in 10 seconds, but maybe for the next one hour I am thinking about this. I am thinking of revenge fantasies. I am getting back at that person.
In public, in front of everyone, I slump that person. Sometimes, you know, some small incident that happened years ago, people heard that hurt for years and years. Now, tolerance doesn’t mean that we let people keep hurts.
I will talk about big hurts a little later. But tolerance simply means the power to keep small things small. We all have big things to do in our life.
And there are small hurts that just happen incidentally in the course of life. If I am in a crowded room, and somebody just hits their elbow against us, it will hurt us. But if they didn’t do it intentionally, there is no need to remember.
You know, you hurt, you hit with your elbow. And it just happened. So, in all our lives, just in the routine course of life, there will be small hurts every day.
Others will hurt us and we will hurt them. So, tolerance means to keep small things small. We all have.
Now, Krishna, to every one of us, Krishna can do so much wonderful things for our own growth and for our contribution to the world. Krishna can do so much to each one of us. But if we become emotionally consumed by small things, this person did this, this person did that, that happened, that happened, then when we are emotionally consumed by small things, then we are no longer available for Krishna, for his guidance, for his instruction, for him using us.
If we let ourselves be emotionally consumed by small things, we are no longer emotionally available for Krishna to guide us, to use us, to engage us. So, if we see that in the course of life we all have hurt others, some other people have hurt me, then we just let small hurts pass. And that is tolerance.
Tolerance means that keeping small things small. So much of our hurt, it just happens if that person is not repeatedly doing the same thing. This one-off incident happened, we just let it pass.
There is no need to hold it against that person or hold it in our heart for a lifetime, or for a long time. Just let it pass. Now, what about big hurts or repeated hurts? When somebody again and again, we are just saying, somebody is repeatedly insensitive, somebody is repeatedly backbiting, somebody is repeatedly lying, somebody is repeatedly manipulating, there are people who are like that.
So, how do we deal with it? So, here also, there is, our topic was, how hurt people hurt people and how to stop the cycle. So, yes, that person has hurt us. Now, we are hurt.
Now, when we feel this problematic situation, we basically have three options. One is, change ourselves. Second is, change the situation.
Third is, walk away from the situation. Ultimately, whatever it is, the specifics may vary, but these are three broad options. Change ourselves, change the situation, walk away from the situation.
Now, it is not that one of them is right and the others are wrong. It all depends on time and place, circumstances, which is right and which is wrong. So, for example, you see the Pandavas, in their life, they exhibited all these three at different times.
Initially, when Bhima, when Duryodhana tried to poison Bhima, when the Kauravas tried to burn the Pandavas, at that time, Yudhishthira said, don’t make a fuss of this. You know, this is a family dispute, keep it inside the family. Don’t make it public.
Just tolerate it. They were more alert, that’s how they were able to protect themselves, but they did not make a public issue out of it. Just change yourself and tolerate it.
But later on, when Draupadi was disowned, when Draupadi was dishonoured, and after that, the Kauravas showed no sign of remorse. Duryodhana just arrogantly rejected the peace proposals. At that time, the Pandavas realised, this cannot go on.
We change the situation. The same Bhagavad Gita tells Arjuna, which tells Arjuna to tolerate, announce the pictures of Arjuna. That same Gita also tells Arjuna, fight about it.
तस्मात्तमुत्तिष्ट यशोऽवुद कस्तो Then Bhagavad Gita says, fight. So, sometimes you have to change the situation. And third is, when Krishna departed from the world, the Pandavas got the news.
He also left. He retired. He walked away from the situation.
Now, walking away is different from running away. Running away means that we are still mentally obsessed with that problem and we are so scared of that problem that I want to be anywhere but here. So, we are still mentally there while physically running away from that.
Walking away means we decide, I have better things to do in life. This is not a situation I want to get into. Given enough time and energy, it’s not solving, it’s not worth any more time.
I just walk away from it. So, there are, all three can be valid ways of dealing with situations. And all three can become invalid ways or harmful ways of dealing with the situation if they are done simply under the force of emotions.
You know, as I said, if I just tolerate, when I’m tolerating, while I’m tolerating, I’m resenting internally. You know, why this person did it? So, tolerance is also, it’s not like a, you know, like a pressure cooker where this pressure is building, building, building and suddenly it will be deplete. Tolerance is more of a purposeful choice.
This is a small thing and I have bigger things. Therefore, I’m not going to do this. So, if we force ourselves to stay silent and don’t speak anything, but we are doing it with unprocessed emotions, we are doing it with resentment, then that will be hurting for us.
If we take action again without unprocessed emotions, that will be like angry outburst. That will create problems also. And if without processing our emotions, we walk away, we won’t be walking away, we’ll be running away.
Because our mind will still be there. So, how do we process our emotions? As I said earlier, first we have to connect with Krishna. When we are connected with Krishna, that brings us stability, that brings us maturity and then we can evaluate, we can actually analyse the emotion.
Okay. See, I correspond a lot with my emails and little correspondence with people. Sometimes when I get angry with someone, somebody does something, I just vent out my anger and write a mail.
But after writing the mail, I don’t send it for 24 hours. And I just keep it there for 24 hours. After one day if I see, more than 50% of the time, I decide I don’t need to send this mail.
Or sometimes that person tells some information, I just understood that person. Or that person has done something based on their understanding, they apologise, they cry, or something like that. It’s just too big an issue.
No need to make an issue out of it. Or then after one, after 24 hours, what has happened when the emotions are very strong, if we just suppress it, it doesn’t work. If we express it, it doesn’t work.
But we just process it. Processing means just get it out, get it out, but not send it to them. Just write it down.
Then just that gives some relief. After a day or two, when the mind has calmed down, then look at it once again. Look at it once again.
At this point, it’s too extreme. I’m just being too much, I’m assuming too much over it. This is a valid point.
I need to evaluate this. This is good, but I need to work at it more carefully. Then we can process our emotions.
And once we process them, processing basically means what? That generally our mind is like a child. And our intelligence should be like the mother. Now the child may have some pain in the stomach.
And the child is crying, crying, crying, crying. Now, if the child is crying, the mother is naturally concerned about it. But sometimes the child is crying just because it wants attention.
Sometimes the child is crying because it’s attached to something and they want a toy. Sometimes the child is crying because there is pain. And the mother has to be intelligent enough to evaluate which one it is.
Sometimes the child is crying and nobody is paying attention and the child becomes silent. Sometimes the child is crying and the child is crying for some reason. I want this, I want this, I want this.
So basically, the child’s crying is a matter of concern for the mother. But just because the child is crying, the mother will not do immediately whatever the child wants the mother to do. Isn’t it? The mother will evaluate what the child wants.
Why the child is crying. And then address it appropriately. So, when I talk about processing of emotions, it is essentially like the intelligence becomes the processor of the emotions which are coming from the mind, which is like the child.
I’m hurt. My mind is hurt. I’m angry, I’m resentful, I’m frustrated.
Yes, those emotions are hurt. But that doesn’t mean I have to act instinctively. There is the mind which is like the child.
But I also have an intelligence like the mother. The intelligence processes what the mind is saying. And then after due evaluation, I make a decision what to do.
So when we evaluate in this way, then whatever action we come up with, this is the reason, this is the reason, this is the reason. This is a valid point, this is a valid point, this is a valid point. And therefore, because of these three reasons, I want to do this.
So sometimes it’s a major decision in our life. We may decide to wait for not just a day, we may decide to wait for a week, a week, a few weeks, a few months. And we regularly… See, when the problem is there, the problem sometimes just consumes our mind.
See, problems often come with the biggest, the biggest problem with problems is that they seem to come with an inbuilt mental glue. And that means, when the problem comes, the problem just sticks to our mind. I want to think of this, I want to do this, but whatever I am doing, the problem is there, in the back of my head.
So sometimes we recognise this problem is holding on to me, that recognition itself is the beginning of, beginning of pushing it off. I was in America after a programme, and one person was asking a very long question. Sometimes some people ask questions not to gain knowledge, but to show knowledge.
How much I know. So after the class, the person was asking, going on and on and on, asking the question. So now over the years, I’ll ask the question, yes, know which people to spend time with, which people to not spend their time with.
So I was just trying to politely end the conversation and move on. And at the same time, somebody had done something, absolutely irritating, like a problem with the mental health. As I was trying to shake off that person and move on, it just struck me.
See, here this person is here, and I am so careful not to give that person more time than what they merit. And there that person is all the way in India. They have done something over there, and I am giving them so much of my mental time.
Do they merit that much time? Yes, there is a problem, I have to deal with it. But that doesn’t mean I have to think about it constantly 24 hours a day. What the mind does is, as soon as a problem comes, it’s like the problem sinks into us.
Our mind sinks into us. We just can’t think about anything else. We are constantly thinking about it.
So in such a situation, the best thing to do is that we allocate some time. Now, as I said, let’s write down our thoughts, vent out our emotions. Then when we are calm, we evaluate it.
And then if it’s a major decision, we decide every week, I will revisit this issue and think about it. Seriously, maybe half an hour, one hour. We read whatever we have written, we read it out, we think about it.
And if during the course of the week some other thoughts come up, some other ideas come up, just add them. Note them and add them, but don’t start thinking about them. Basically, what we do is, it’s like, yes, sometimes the mind is like a child.
I want this. Yes, we’ll look at it later. Okay, we allocate some time.
And then, what happens in the heat of the moment when we are running around, we are usually in a mode of passion or in a mode of ignorance, when we are rushing around in life, that is not the time for clear thinking. The time for clear thinking is when we are calm, when we are in a mode of goodness, when we are peaceful, when we are reflective. So, we allocate some time when we are in a mode of goodness.
At that time, we deliberate about what our mode of ignorance is. Apart from that, some ideas come, some thoughts come, some factors come in, some considerations come in, just note it down to keep it. And then, over a period of weeks or months, if we periodically, say once a week or something, we revisit that issue.
This person did like that to me, what should I do? And if we find a particular course of action emerging on the first impulse, we evaluate it, okay, I don’t usually be so impulsive, but this is what I feel I should do. Basically, we write down our thoughts, those written thoughts are like a snapshot of our mind. What are my feelings? I got a picture of that.
Then, after one week, I look at it. My mind is, hey, you know, this is making sense to me. I’m not feeling like that at all.
I’m feeling this way right now. So, if we find over a period of weeks and months, that the overall, our feelings remain the same. This is what I feel like doing.
This is what my feelings are. Then, we understand that is not just a, that is not just a knee-jerk reaction to a particular situation. That is like a lasting, lasting inspiration or calling or decision that I feel convinced to take.
So, many times, we do a particular course of action, but if we have not done our own internal homework, then we are ourselves half-hearted about it. We say, you know, this is just too messy, I’m walking away from this. But then we’re walking away, we’re looking back.
Maybe I should not walk away. Maybe I should not walk away. So then, when we are half-hearted about something, that will never work.
So, what we do is, when we do this internal homework, then that internal homework enables us to understand what it is that is best for us. Now, we, when we study scripture, when we practise bhakti, that brings us to the mode of goodness. Sri Prabhupada writes in the Nectar of Instruction, in the first introduction, he says, once we come to the mode of goodness, how to advance further will be revealed from within.
So, when we strive to bring ourselves to the mode of goodness, then things become clearer. We may have some similar life, especially for major decisions in our life, we may consider our spiritual master or spiritual guides. But even when we consult them, if we have done our homework first, then, we will be able to get better guidance from them.
Otherwise, if we just go to them, and we are just a mess of emotions, then, most of the time, we just go in addressing the emotions and not the issues. So, if we do the processing of our emotions, then we can say, okay, this is the emotion and this is the issue. And this is what is important.
Then, if we need to seek guidance, and we have guidance available for us, we also get that guidance much better. Because we will make our own, our own concerns more clear. See, there are emotions and there are issues.
The issues, of course, create emotions. But sometimes, we just convey the emotion and we don’t convey the issues. So, there is clear distinction between the emotions and the issues.
There is a connection, no doubt. But still, there are two different things. Sometimes, some issues give rise to some emotions.
But some emotions, they become so big that they obscure the issue. And we just become so angry. What is the cause of the anger? We just forget.
How could they have done this? What did they do? We just get so angry that sometimes the issue is forgotten. So, the emotion and the issue, they are connected. But, we have to ourselves understand the two separately.
And then we evaluate. For this issue, is this a proportionate emotion? Or is this excessive? This is a small issue. This is a big issue.
It cannot be like this. That sort of analysis we are going to do. Only when we can see the emotion and the issues separately.
Otherwise, the emotions just consume our consciousness and then we just act in a particular way which may not be the best way. So, when we process the emotion like this, then after processing the emotions, then, say after a period of few months, if I repeat it, this is what I feel like doing. Then when I decide to do it, I do it with conviction.
I am walking away from the situation and I am going to walk away. I am not going to go back here. This is what I am going to do now.
So, there is no life, life does not come with a guarantee of good decisions. We all will think some decisions should be good, some decisions will not be so good. So, although life does not come with a guarantee of good decisions, but if we are going through a solid process for decision making, then we are growing by that.
Even if we make some wrong decisions, if our process for decision making is solid, we will be able to make better decisions in the future. And that’s why we don’t have to become unduly invested in every decision. Yes, this is important, but there is no need to make this as the all-important decision of my life.
Let’s make some decisions, move forward. And if it turns out to be wrong, if consequences show me that it’s not the best decision, it’s not that, it’s not that, it’s a, it’s not something which, it’s like a wow, I am never going to do this. We all, basically in life, there are principles which are unchanged.
But practises, they always have to be adopted. Prabhupada had the principle that he was going to share Krishna’s message. But as for practises, he tried so many different things.
In India, he tried distributing back to Godhead. He tried opening the League of Devotees. He tried working with the Godfathers.
He tried writing Bhagavatam. When he came to America, he tried so many different things. So, life, with the sort of practicalities, there is often trial and error.
I try this, this works, try this, this doesn’t work. But Bhagavad Gita is not so much, the Bhagavad Gita is not so much a book about giving decisions as giving the basis for decision-making. When Krishna asks Arjuna, Arjuna asks Krishna, what is dharma? No, Arjuna is not taking the simple way of Krishna.
You tell me whether I should fight or should not fight. No, Arjuna does not ask that simple question. And Krishna does not do that simple answer.
Arjuna actually asks Krishna what is dharma. And Krishna gives him a framework of dharma by which he can understand how to make decisions. As I said in the beginning that we all have, dharma is a very complex word.
Dharma at one level means duty. We have our dharma as parents, we have our dharma as husbands, as wives, we have our dharma as devotees. Dharma means duty.
Dharma also means nature. That is Kshatriya dharma. That is Brahman dharma.
That is what I am naturally inclined to. Dharma at its very essence means, at its very core, it means, dharma refers to our inalienable characteristics. Dharma is that which makes me, me.
That which makes us, us. That is dharma. That without which we would not be we.
That is dharma. That which makes me, me. And that is dharma.
What is dharma? Ultimately at our core, we are known to love and we love. And that, Srila Prabhupada in his introduction to Bhagavad Gita explains, that is Sanatana dharma. Sanatana dharma is the soul’s eternal nature to love and be loved.
And that is fulfilled in our relationship with Krishna. And when we put our relationship with Krishna first, then all other relationships, they fall in place. When we practise our bhakti nicely, diligently, then we get the calmness, we get the clarity.
See, calmness is with respect to the mind and clarity is with respect to the intentions. The calmness is, the mind is turbulent with emotions. Calmness brings, is with respect to the mind.
Clarity is with respect to the mind. This is what I should do, this is what I should not do. And both calmness and clarity come by the practise of prashantamanasam yenam yoginamsukhamuttamam buddhi shantam jasam brahma bhutam akalmashyam akalmashyam All the confusion, the kalmashyam, the darkness, the contamination that are there, they go away.
And there is calmness in prashantam. Prashantam is calmness. Akalmashyam is clarity.
There is calmness and clarity, prashantam and akalmashyam, when it comes, then we can move forward steadily in our life. So, the practise of bhakti, we all have hurts, and we all deal with our hurts. Now, with respect to dealing with specific people, if somebody has hurt us, as I said, when I talked earlier about forgiving, I mentioned the three ways, change ourselves, change the other person, or walk away.
Now, how is this related to, say, forgiving? The forgiving, there is an internal aspect to it, and there is an external aspect to it. Internally, it means we let go of resentment. And that is something we should always do.
As long as we are driven by resentment, then we are, actually, when we are driven by resentment, then it’s like we are drinking poison in the hope that one day we will vomit that poison on someone. But during that period, the poison is inside us, and it’s going to hurt us far more. So, be pure of resentment.
Prabhupada says that whatever anybody does, it’s, that person did it in the past, don’t be angry with the instrument of your own past karma. With my own karma, this person did this to me, that does not mean that that person is to be allowed to go squatting. It simply means that I don’t obsess over that person.
Let go of resentment. After letting go of resentment, in different situations, all three will be valid. So, forgiving means we just decide that I changed myself.
That person apologises, that person wants to change. We forgive, we forget. Sometimes we take action.
Some people, they neither seek forgiveness nor do they change. Then, sometimes, we may have to take action, depending on what kind of problem it is. At that time, we may change the situation, take action against that.
So, forgiveness is primarily a Brahminical virtue. Justice is a Kshatriya virtue. Kshatriyas are not meant to forgive criminals.
If a thief has robbed a bank, if a thief has robbed somebody’s house, the king is not meant to tell the victim of the robbery, Oh, don’t be angry with the thief, he was an instrument of your karma. No. Yes, that robbery may have happened because of the past karma of the thief, of the victim.
But, the king has to see what is my dharma. My dharma is to actually make sure that law and order is maintained. So, I have to punish.
Sometimes, you may have to take action against others. That is fine. It is usually.
Forgiving, we sometimes recoil against it. Because we think, if I forgive, this person will hurt me. But there is a difference.
There is a difference between forgiving and trusting. The two are not the same. Forgiving is for the past.
Trusting is for the future. Forgiveness can be given, but trust has to be on me. I can forgive some, you did something like that in the past, you did this, you did that, I forgive you.
But that doesn’t mean I trust you. You have to exhibit trustworthiness in me. You have to show that you have changed.
You need to make me trust you. So, forgiveness essentially means we let go of resentment. What has happened in the past, it will stay in the past.
I want to move on in my life. I don’t want to stay stuck in the past. I don’t want the past to drive my future.
I want my own principles. I want my own principles. I want my own inspiration, my own purpose to drive my future, not the past.
So, when we let go of the past, when we let go of resentment, then we become free to move on. So, again, forgiving is not forgiving. Our memory does not come with any delete button.
We can delete files from a computer, but we cannot delete memories from our mind or heart. They are there. But forgiving creates a new way of remembering.
Yes, that person has hurt me, but when I forgive them, basically my emotions are locked in that person. The emotions are no longer locked in. I can remember something, I can learn something, and move on.
Now, when there is forgiving, there is trusting. Trust has to be God. Forgiveness can be given.
Forgiveness should be given. But after giving forgiveness, how do we deal with that person? We really decide that this person is not trustworthy. So, that’s why we keep a safe distance.
We keep a safe distance. We may, as I said, walk away from the situation or we may create a greater distance in that relationship. Whatever is required.
So, these are all practicalities. These are all dependent a lot on specifics. What kind of situation, who is the person, what is the nature of the relationship.
All that will determine, all that will play a role in determining that it’s genuine. But the basic principle is that if we are emotionally sheltered in Krishna, then we won’t be simply driven by our emotions into actions that will regulate it. That will not be very, the actions that are not so wise.
But rather, if we are emotionally sheltered in Krishna, then we can intelligently acknowledge our emotions and address the underlying issues appropriately. So, I’ll conclude with a quote of the Prabhupada. The Prabhupada says, in the seventh canto of Srimad Bhagavatam, in the Parabodha, that we must always be healthy and stout in mind and intelligence to distinguish the goal of life from a life full of problems.
That means, we must be always healthy and stout in mind and intelligence to distinguish the goal of life from a life full of problems. Life full of problems means this person hurt me like this, this person run like that, that person run like that. There are so many things like that.
Yes. We should always be healthy and stout. We should always be healthy and stout in mind and intelligence.
We should always be healthy and stout in mind and intelligence to distinguish the goal of life from a life full of problems. This may not be the exact words, but the essential thing is about being healthy and stout in mind and intelligence so that we focus on the important things. Life is full of problems.
We can’t fight with all the problems that are there in our life. We decide to let some battles pass so that we can focus on some battles. So what is the purpose of life? The purpose of life is to go towards Krishna, to grow towards Krishna.
And in some relationships, just changing myself is the best way I can go towards Krishna. In some relationships where there are hurts, changing the situation is what I need to do to go towards Krishna. In some relationships, just walk away from it.
Some issues, just walk away from it so that I can go towards Krishna. All this, if we keep that purpose of going towards Krishna almost in our mind, when somebody has hurt me, just let it go. This person has hurt me.
This person can hurt many other people also. This person needs to be changed. So I know what it takes to do that.
This is a messy situation. I don’t have the power to correct this person but I don’t want to get out of it. I just walk away from it.
If we have this purpose of going towards Krishna, Krishna says, तदामि बुद्धियो गंतं जिर्णमा प्रयाम् I give you the intelligence by which you can come to me. So Krishna wants to guide us. But we just need to show him that we want guidance.
And we show him that we want guidance by not just letting our emotions determine our actions. We show him that we want guidance by using our intelligence to our fullest capacity. Just like when Arjuna wanted to reach Jayadratha and kill Jayadratha, he tried to his fullest capacity but he couldn’t reach.
And then Krishna reached. Krishna reached that last distance which he was not able to cover. The time which he did not see, which he had seen, he did not have Krishna ready for that time to touch.
Similarly, when we use all the intelligence that we have, we show Krishna that we want guidance. And then, as we use our intelligence, we analyse, we breathe, practise bhakti, gradually the guidance will come. This is what we show.
And we move steadily towards Krishna. Krishna wants to help us. Even when we are facing difficult situations, we can always be hopeful because Krishna is always helpful.
We are always hopeful because Krishna is always helpful. So I’ll summarise what I spoke today and focus on a few more. Processing our emotions before acting on them.
So in that theme, I talked about how the emotions are, we have to acknowledge the emotions. Just like a child is crying, mother has to acknowledge it. But just because the child is crying and asking for something, the mother doesn’t necessarily use it to do that.
The mother understands, analyses, understands and acts appropriately. Similarly, processing emotions means the mind is like a child that is crying, but our intelligence has to become like the mother, which evaluates and then decides what to do. So, the in-between of processing emotions of expressing or repressing them, that can be done by just getting them out, getting the emotion out, writing them down and then that itself releases the emotional pressure.
And then we can’t evaluate. We use our intelligence. It doesn’t make sense.
And then for a major decision, we can decide a period. For a sustained period of time, I will repeatedly, in a planned way, when I am in a mode of goodness, revisit this issue. And if that, what we have written down is a snapshot of our life, if that snapshot stays the same consistently, then that means, this is important for me, this is what I should be doing.
So, when we, when we are faced with difficulties, somebody has hurt us, then, we have three options. Whether we change ourselves at all rate, whether we change the other person and seek justice or seek rectification or we can walk away from this change. Pandavas did all this at different times.
So, if we do any of these with resentment, that will simply make things worse. So, instead of getting back at others, we need to get safe. Don’t try to beat this thing that I have written, but first get safe.
And tolerance means to keep small things small. And there are emotions and there are issues. So, issues give rise to emotions.
But, if you don’t process the emotions, sometimes the emotions take a life of their own. And then the issues are lost. So, by processing, we clearly understand what is the issue, what is the emotion, then we can evaluate whether the emotion, whether the issue, whether the emotion is proportional to the issue.
And even when we have to take guidance, if we have done our own homework properly, then, we will not just be a mess of emotions, but we will be able to present the issues and we will get better guidance. Like a patient describing the symptoms properly, so that the doctor can give proper medical prescription. And, problems come with an inbuilt mental clue.
And, when they are simply, when they are simply obsessing us, then at that time, if we recognise that this is happening, now, if I don’t give physically time to a person more than what it merits, why should I mentally give somebody more time than what they merit? So, then we can try to distance ourselves. And what we need to do for processing emotions is put Krishna first. When we, every relationship doesn’t just create emotions, it creates self conception, self definitions.
A child who is neglected by the parents, doesn’t just feel unloved, means unloveable. Like that in any relationship, when we experience a rejection, it becomes like a statement about ourselves. So, when we define ourselves by our relationship with Krishna, that I am a part of Krishna, and Krishna always loves me.
Krishna’s love for me is based on who I am. Sorry, is based on who he is, not who I am. My experience of his love is based on who I am.
If I attach to some things, then I see Krishna’s love as a filter of that attachment. And that’s why I do not feel his love right now, but he always loves me. And to the extent we practise Bhakti diligently, to that extent, we experience the calmness and the clarity, calmness of mind to clarity of intelligence, by which we can take some decisions.
And while taking decisions, we don’t let the emotions, we acknowledge the emotions, but we don’t let emotions turn into decisions. We take shelter of Krishna, come to the mode of coolness, use all the intelligence that we have, and if that intelligence is not enough, Krishna will provide guidance to us. And when we make a decision, if we are driven primarily by emotions, then we will always be second guessing ourselves.
Even if we make the right decision, we will do half-heartedly, and it will not work out as expected. But if we have, even if we make a wrong life, it doesn’t come with a guarantee of good decisions. We may make bad decisions, but if we have gone through a due process of decision making, then we will learn from our wrong decisions, we will do course correction.
And when we make a decision, we will do it wholeheartedly, to do whatever it takes to make it work. And ultimately, knowing that Krishna is always with us, that even if other people reject us, Krishna always loves us. When we keep the goal of life, going towards Krishna, foremost in our life, then how to deal with which hurt in a relationship, how to deal with which issues, that falls into place.
And we can move forward towards Krishna. We understand that different people hurt us, because of our own past karma. How we respond to them, that is a bad answer.
Whether to forgive them, whether to take action against them, whether to walk away from that situation. So, forgiving, in terms of internally giving a resentment, is something we should always do. Otherwise, holding resentment is like putting poison, hoping that we can vomit it on them one day.
And, if we work with the intention of going towards Krishna, whatever we may face in our life, Krishna will help us go through it. To conclude with one thought, whatever karma may get us through, Krishna will get us through. Whatever karma may get us through, Krishna will get us through.
Thank you very much. Are there any questions or comments? It’s just a quick one. When you say evaluation, of the problems you have, monitoring, do you mean statistical problem? Create some sort of a chart, so to say, for two months, you’ll monitor yourself.
Okay. When you talk about evaluation of our problems, does it mean some logistical evaluation, say create a chart and evaluate for a few months? That will depend on our nature. All of us, some of us are more visually intelligent, some of us are more verbal intelligence, some of us are more spatial kind of intelligence, physical.
How we process our emotions, that is something which we can ourselves evaluate based on how we process things. In general, we are all good at certain things in our life. And that is the way we can deal with issues.
Some of us, we were able to deal with issues more by discussing and arriving at understanding. Some of us were able to deal with issues more by introspecting. It will vary.
But basically is that get the emotions out of the head. As long as the emotions are in the head, they just congest the head. In order to congest the head, they cloud the head.
Because when emotions are inside, they are just too close to be evaluated. When you bring them out, then that brings, the distance itself brings some amount of detachment and objectivity. And once the detachment and objectivity has come, so it can be writing down, it can be any other way that works for us.
Basically, we get the emotions out and then we evaluate. So, the basic principle is that we will create some distance and detachment from our emotions to evaluate. How we do it, that can vary from person to person.
Yes. Thinking from Karma’s point of view, there will be an ongoing Karma where people are treating him in a certain way. He will have that casting of being like the broken person.
So, not only he’s got the outburst in the assembly, but he’s had an ongoing thing probably all his life where he’s had that casting that other people are treating him in that way. And that, is that of a different level of difficulty you’re talking about? So, based on how a person has been treated throughout their life, they just get cast in a particular way. Yeah, he’s not the broken person.
Yeah, some people might just be broken because they have experienced so many broken relationships or whatever. Yes. Actually speaking, brokenness is often the best condition for devotion.
When we are broken internally, that is the time when we are most receptive for healing by Krishna. For healing by Krishna. For healing by Krishna.
So, although Krishna says there are four kinds of people who come to him. They are the distressed, the wealth seekers, the inquisitive and those in knowledge. In Kali Yuga, mostly four kinds of people come to Krishna.
The distressed, the distressed, the distressed and the distressed. You know, the people in Dadamsri category are very very few. So, frustration is not the qualification for devotion.
But frustration is often the proposition for devotion. Now, a frustrated person is not just automatically qualified to do something. But a frustrated person is that frustration is often what propels us towards Krishna.
Krishna has no shelter other than you. When nothing is left, Krishna alone is left. So, if we have some association of devotees, if we have done some past, past kind of spiritual pious activities, then when that brokenness starts breaking us down, that time we take shelter of Krishna.
So, that’s the first thing that we don’t have to see our past even if it has shaped us in a particular way as necessary in the beginning. Now, Krishna can bring good even out of the bad. Now, bhakti is not about imagining that everything that happens is good.
Bad things do happen in life. But Krishna is expert enough that he can bring good even out of the bad. So, we take shelter of Krishna all the time.
Now, after taking shelter of Krishna also, we have a lot of brotherhood with ourself, Krishna. So, at that time, we can’t we can’t deny the track record of our life. That’s what it is.
If we have had it, we can live it. But, in bhakti, we learn to focus not so much on our track record but on our potential. Our potential is that we are souls.
We are parts of Krishna. Krishna wants us to grow in life. Krishna wants us to come to Him.
And Krishna will give us what it takes for us to grow. So, from this perspective, from that perspective, I don’t have this, I don’t have that, I don’t have that. Yes, we may be disqualified in many ways.
But in bhakti, we are never disqualified. In bhakti, we are unqualified but we are never disqualified. We are never qualified to serve Krishna.
But Krishna doesn’t disqualify. Krishna doesn’t say get out. Krishna always is there for us.
So, we focus on our potential. That I am a part of Krishna and for my growing towards Krishna, whatever it is that I need, Krishna will provide. Yogakshema bahamya.
So, rather than Krishna, I will provide what you lack and I will protect what you have. 9.22 in the Gita. So, rather than looking at our track record, we just see that when I am practising Krishna bhakti, let me make a new beginning.
Yes. Even in Krishna bhakti, you may go through negativities. But still, you need to understand that those negativities are in the past.
And if I want, if I connect with Krishna wholeheartedly now, I can make a new beginning from now on. And we will have to, within devotee association, seek the relationships that are more affirming than demeaning. Some devotees are very critical.
That is just their nature. Some devotees are more encouraging. So, the devotee association is not just like one monolithic unit.
Even among the devotees, we find those devotees, we find that association, those devotees, who are helpful. You know, the association, we feel encouraged, we feel inspired. Even if there are one or two devotees like that, that can help us remain.
So, essentially, brokenness is actually, is the time when we take shelter of Krishna the most. And for doing that, we just turn our mind from the past. Our mind in the material world is the past or the future.
So, many people say stay in the present. But bhakti is not just about looking back or looking ahead. It is about looking up.
We look towards Krishna. We look towards Krishna and then look at the present. Okay, whatever happened in the past is fine.
I don’t know what the future is going to be like. But Krishna is with me. How can I serve Krishna? So, rather than worrying about the past, we try to focus on the present potential.
How can I serve Krishna? And take one step forward, one step forward. We find that, gradually Krishna will direct us in a new direction. And Krishna knows better than us what is best for us.
So, if we just keep taking steps towards Krishna, Krishna will bring us to a better, richer, sweeter life. Okay, thanks. Any other questions? There is one question somebody had asked during the break.
That’s me. Okay, yeah. Someone else.
Just regarding, so, self-esteem based on our karma, which is our first ego. So, Krishna is, the relationship with Krishna is in a different identity, the soul identity, which is difficult, some scar, unloveable, unloveable, all these impressions. So, in Bhakti, we want to shift to this identity, but the foreseeing was very, very touched.
So, my question is, while practising, how do we have the courage, or, we give up this fear to let go of this soul identity, and connect to the real emotion, which is the spiritual, and from there grow to the real one. Okay. So, our foreseeing was very strong, and we get caught in our material identity, and we don’t focus on our spiritual identity so much.
See, sometimes we just get too caught in the dialectic of the material and spiritual. More important than material and spiritual is, whether it takes me towards Krishna, or it takes me away from Krishna. Ultimately, how do you define what is material? My health, is it material? It is material, but then, I need my health to serve Krishna.
The food that I eat, is it material? It’s material, what is prasad? I need food for serving Krishna. So, rather than focussing too much on material or spiritual, we focus on, how can I serve Krishna? How can I engage in Krishna’s service? There is a class, and in the class there is a joke. Now, am I laughing or joking? Is this material pleasure or spiritual pleasure? Laughter I become paralysed if I start thinking like this.
It’s the ambit of discussing a Krishna conscious philosophy. That’s good enough. So, basically, as long as we are doing the basic practise of sadhana bhakti, as long as the life is devoted to Krishna, we don’t have to worry so much whether it is material or spiritual.
Focus on whether it is, whether it is helpful for us in going towards Krishna, or whether it is taking us away from Krishna. So, sometimes material things are also important for our going towards Krishna. So, Krishna and the whole principle of Varanashram.
Varanashram, the sense is, not rejecting our mental identity, it is connecting our mental identity. Now, Brahmana, it is not the soul that is Brahmana. na aham vipronachi narapati na api vaishyonachu So, when we categorically say that the soul is the devil, there is no Varanashram identification.
But, Bhagavad Gita talks something about Varanashram. The sense is what? That our material identity is to be used for a spiritual purpose. So, rather than thinking of, Oh, I have got so much of false ego.
Whatever I have, how can I use it in Krishna’s service? And as I use it in Krishna’s service, I will become purified. But the false ego will not go away simply by intellection. Intellection is intellectual analysis.
This is false ego. Yes, to the extent we can do that kind of analysis, that is good. But ultimately, the false ego will go away by purification.
And purification will happen when there is connection. When we connect with Krishna, we serve Krishna. So, whatever we are right now, we just serve Krishna.
So, if I have the nature of intellectual, then naturally, I will want to serve Krishna through studying, through reading, through speaking, through writing. That’s what I am. And I will identify myself as a writer, as a speaker.
Whatever it is, that’s okay. But that is in service to Krishna. Somebody else has a tendency to, as an expert in singing, will I define myself as a singer? Is that false ego? Yes.
The soul may not have that sweet singing ability. It may, may not. We don’t know.
That singing ability is on the body. It’s false ego at one level. But it’s false ego used in the pursuit of the truth.
I am a singer. That is a feature of my body. You can call it false ego.
But I am singing for Krishna. And I am serving Krishna. So, I am using the false ego in the service of the truth.
So, rather than worrying too much about material spiritual, you can simply focus on that which takes you closer to Krishna. And keep connecting with Krishna. You can’t say Krishna.
There is Krishna. So, any questions? So, dot on. Yes.
What is the principle of seeking emotional shelter with Krishna and then noting down and then reflecting on that over a period of time? The question is when people go out to get self-help, which is not Krishna conscious, some of the techniques will remain the same. So, what is the difference between what happens here versus self-help people get outside? So, what is the difference between Krishna conscious principles about processing emotions or addressing issues like that and self-help techniques? The main difference is the purpose. The purpose is that we are trying to serve Krishna.
In self-help, people are simply trying to bring out their… So, often, their purpose may still be to become better materialistic. You know, one of the biggest fields in yoga is… There are books called Yoga for Sex. Now, yoga is actually for… Traditionally, yoga is for connecting with Krishna.
So, people practise yoga so that they can have smoother bodies or fitter bodies so that they can enjoy sex better. So, what has happened? They are doing yoga, but their purpose is completely materialistic. So, when we practise bhakti, what primarily changes is the purpose.
Now, bhakti itself has a process and that process has to be followed. But, many, not all, many of what is taught in self-help books are simple principles in the modalities. So, be proactive, not reactive.
Put first things first. Seek to understand before you are understood. All those principles which are there, they are simply more a goodness than principles.
And, in bhakti, we want to offer Krishna. We want to offer our heart to Krishna, our life to Krishna, our services to Krishna. Now, a part of offering ourselves is also discovering ourselves.
A part of offering ourselves is discovering ourselves. Who am I? I am the soul. Sometimes, there are emotional issues which are covering me up, which are obscuring me from understanding myself better.
Or, they are choking me in my contemplation. Understanding those issues is also a part of offering myself. To offer myself, I have to discover myself.
And, if we analyse and contextualise and heal ourselves emotionally, we can better offer ourselves to Krishna. So, we don’t have to see bhakti as a compartmentalised process. It is 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. These activities are bhakti.
Everything else is maya. No, it is not like that. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 activities are bhakti, definitely.
But, actually, everything that I can do unless it is directly unto devotional, can be connected with Krishna. See, Arjuna, when he won the Kurukshetra war, did he win that Kurukshetra war by the knowledge of the Bhagavad Gita or the knowledge of archery that he had learned from Dronacharya? It’s both. The spiritual and the material are not contrasting.
They are complementary. Knowledge of archery he had. The Bhagavad Gita gave him the purpose for his studies and not the archery.
So, the spiritual is primarily the director of the material. The spiritual is not the replacer of the material. I may wake up early morning after a long night’s sleep.
I chant 64 rounds pure attention. Is 64 rounds chanting going to remove the bad breath from my mouth? If I say, I won’t brush my teeth. Rupa Goswami, in the Bhakti of Samrasambhu, which is an elevated book of devotees, he says devotees should do all their activities carefully and then he mentions brushing teeth.
Now, why? Chanting Hare Krishna is there. Why do I need to brush my teeth? See, the material is spiritual. The material is state.
I have to brush my teeth. I shouldn’t express by chanting Hare Krishna when I brush my teeth. That’s not what chanting Hare Krishna is meant for.
It’s meant to awaken love in my heart. So, when we are practising Bhakti, Bhakti primarily is about having a divine purpose. Now, practically, how we actualise our purpose in our life, that may vary from person to person.
So, when we are going to build a temple for Krishna, the temple is for a divine purpose. But the knowledge of architecture, we may learn from an architect who is not a devotee. But that’s practically required for implementation in this world.
So, similarly, if we need to heal our emotions, we need to deal with our issues, that is, we shouldn’t see that that is something which is not required. Otherwise, chanting Hare Krishna, everything is okay. Yes, some people may not have any emotional issues.
And chanting Hare Krishna was wonderful for them. But Bhakti is not restricted to chanting Hare Krishna. Chanting Hare Krishna is the centre point of developing our relationship with Krishna.
And developing our relationship with Krishna means offering our whole self to Krishna. And so, if there are some emotional issues which are checking us from offering our self to Krishna, if we have the nature of doing introspection, of doing analysis, and of dealing with those issues by properly processing them, then that is to be seen within the purview of Bhakti. Because Bhakti is not so much about the form of activities as it is about the purpose of activities.
If you see that way, as an activity of fighting, how much does it seem like a devotional activity? It doesn’t. Few activities will seem as anti-devotional as killing someone. Fighting means killing.
But Bhakti is so inclusive that even an activity that seems externally as anti-devotional as fighting, that is also included in it. So Bhakti is more about the purpose of activities in the form of activities. A particular form of activity helps me in fulfilling that purpose of going closer towards Krishna, of offering myself to Krishna.
Then we can see that that is inclusive and that Bhakti is included in the scope of Bhakti. Can you see this? Thank you. So, thank you very much.
Shri Prabhupada ki Gaura Vastu Vindiki Gaura Vastu Vindiki Thank you. Thank you. Thank you Chaitanya Choudhury for coming and doing this seminar.
Just so you know, Chaitanya Choudhury will be doing another seminar for the college next Sunday, same time on Destiny. So you’re more than welcome. While he’s staying here in the UK, he’ll be giving a few morning classes.
So for those of you that have been looking for the excuse to wake up early to come to the temple, I think while Prabhu is here, that’s the time to plan to come to the UK to come for Bhagavatam class. And Prabhu is also going to have a few books that he’s launching here, one in particular I’ll leave him to speak about on reincarnation. But again, thank you once again for coming.
And for those of you that are new, that haven’t got the Indore Ketals on our