How is Draupadi’s polygamy justified especially when it involves the same man being required to see her alternately as wife and as sister-in-law?

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
So, question from Shivang Prabhu.
How is Draupadi’s polygamy to be justified, especially when the five Pandavas would alternately be her husbands and then the man whom she was treating as her husband would after some period be treated as her brother-in-law? So, this can be an example for immorality in society. Answer? Not necessarily that it will be an example for morality because the Mahabharata itself makes it very clear that this is an exception. In fact, when Drupada hears this that the five Pandavas are going to marry, Drupada strongly objects to it and the Mahabharata describes that initially when the Swayamvar takes place it is expected that Arjuna, who has won the Swayamvar, Arjuna will take Draupadi as his wife.
But then when they go back, Arjuna is always conscious that Yudhishthira is the eldest brother. So, he thinks that among the five, who is the oldest, he should marry first. So, he expects that Yudhishthira will marry.
Yudhishthira says no. So, you have won her, you should marry her. And as they are discussing like this, they take her to their home.
And then Arjuna says, just see what I have brought for you. Now, Drupada, Kunti is in anxiety because she is always worried that maybe they will be detected and especially now that they have come to a kingdom where even Duryodhana is there, Kauravas are also there. So, she is apprehensive that they may be detected.
So, in her anxiety, she is so happy that they have come back. So, just see what alms we have brought. So, whatever you have brought, share it with her and take it together.
She is so happy that they are all safe. Just an expression of her relief. And that is a normal blessing.
She gives also, share it. One of her greatest joys in life is to see that the five Pandavas are friendly and are united. Share it.
And then they are all horrified. They become completely silent on hearing this. When Kunti turns, she is doing some prayers.
She just turns around and says, see, Drupada has brought. Then she realizes what has happened. And she is herself horrified.
Drupada is shocked. And they all become very grave. Kunti says that, especially when I am giving a solemn blessing or a solemn statement like this, I have never spoken a lie.
And then Yudhishthira thinks about it. And Yudhishthira says that, yes, what you have spoken, the truth of it should be maintained. Other persons start looking at each other.
How is this possible? They start thinking. Yudhishthira says, my mind never contemplates sin. And yet, when my mind is contemplating this, it doesn’t feel any revolution about it.
So, I am sure there must be some higher plan involved in this. And then, eventually, Drupada comes. He sends his students to find out who is the suitor who has won properly.
And then eventually, they detect that it is the Pandavas. They invite him back to the palace. They arrange a feast for him.
And then, when the plan is revealed, that all five are going to marry, Drupada is shocked. He says, this is unprecedented. So, then he says, no, actually it is not unprecedented.
They give two examples. In the Bhagavatam, there is an example of Prachetas. The ten Prachetas marry one woman.
And there is another example they give of, I think, some Jara. She also marries several men. So, there are examples, but they are certainly not standard.
And then, at that time, Vyasadeva comes over there. And then Vyasadeva explains the past life history of Draupadi. And since Draupadi is an unwed damsel in a previous life, and to get a husband, she performed austerities to Lord Shiva.
And she desired, so when Lord Shiva appeared in front of her, she was so eager for a husband that when she appeared, she says, please, bless me with a husband. She said five times. Therefore, Lord Shiva said that you will have five husbands.
And she desires there to be qualities in her husbands. So, those five people will manifest those qualities. And then, Vyasadeva said that, what Mahadeva has already, that has to come to.
So, we see here, there is the clear understanding that this is the exception. And that is both Yudhishthira and Kunti consider it also. It was initially taken aback.
Draupadi is opposed to it. And after the Vyasadeva sanction, Vyasadeva describes, Mahadeva himself has ordained it. Therefore, the exception is made clear.
And the reason for the exception is also made clear in the Mahabharata. Now, with respect to the specifics of their relationship, the plan that is made, is made by Narada Muni. Narada Muni comes and meets the Pandavas when they have just settled back in Indraprastha.
And he says that, we know the story of two demons, Sunda and Upasunda, who were very, who were brothers. And they were, they were like two souls in one body. Or, yeah, one soul in two bodies.
And they had done tapasya to Brahmaji and they got a benediction that nobody in the universe will be able to kill them, except Tadaram. Sunda can be killed by Upasunda, Upasunda can be killed by Sunda. And they thought that this is a guarantee for immortality.
Because, we will never fight with each other. And they are terrorizing the world. So, Brahmaji at that time created a Apsara, Tilottama.
And she was so attractive that as soon as they saw each other, both Upasunda and Upasunda said, she will be my wife and your brother, your sister-in-law. And saying this, they are fighting, fighting, and then they kill each other. So, Narada Muni said that, this is what can happen and therefore you should have a clear plan about who will be it and how it will be.
So, then he says that you divide her. For a particular period, you treat her as a wife. First, you divide this, we will do that.
And then, Narada also described in the Mahabharata that by the arrangement of Yasodaya and Mahadeva, when Draupadi married the five Pandavas, actually she was married five times on five successive occasions. And by the arrangement of the Lord, by the arrangement of Mahadeva and Yasodaya, every time her virginity was restored. So, there is a lot involved in this which is not there in normal marriages.
It is happening over here. So, there is no way that the Mahabharata in any way sort of sanctions. This is a standard example to follow.
The Mahabharata gives multiple reasons, circumstances and analysis by which it makes clear this is an exception, a justified exception. It is not something which is to be emulated again and again. And further, regarding the modalities of the relationship, now is it possible for say a man to see a woman as a as a sister-in-law at one time and then as a wife and then again as a sister-in-law? It seems quite difficult.
But then we have to also understand that they were living in a different culture at that time. So, there was also the ritual of Niyoga. Niyoga means that if for some reason a particular man could not beget a child in his wife and the dynasty has to go on, then that man would call some other man.
And often it would call generally some relative. In fact, that is what we call devareyana-sutothpatti. So, one will call a devar and so the sutothpatti, beget a child.
So, now we may wonder, won’t this muddy the family relationship so much? But then it is very clear and I have answered the question about Niyoga separately. But the point is that it is understood that this is not done for pleasure. It is done simply for begetting a child.
And normally it is done between it is done in a sanctified way that both of them unite for the purpose of begetting. So, there are social there were social practices which we find objectionable to cultural values. Because our way of thinking is different.
And I think the Brihannaradaya Purana or one of the Brahmavayur Purana says that devareyana-sutothpatti is forbidden in Kali Yuga. Because this will be this is not possible for people in today’s with today’s minds to conceive of. So, it is not that people, everybody in the past was pure hearted.
Dharma, artha, kama, moksha. Kama is a part of the relationship. It is a part of human life, no doubt.
But there is a balance between dharma, artha and kama. And so, for the Pandavas we see that Arjuna was so virtuous that even when the Urvashi offered herself, Arjuna said no to her. And later on, Virat offered his daughter Uttara.
Arjuna again said no. He said, I have treated her like a student and she has confided to me like a father figure. So, let’s not muddy the relationship.
Let her, if I cannot be a father, let me be a father. Let her marry my son. That’s how Uttara was married to a woman.
So, we see, if you look at the overall Mahabharata, the character of the individuals over there is exceptional. And because the character is exceptional, so, they were able to manage this. And it’s also described that the whole concept of polygamy or any poly-involving relationship, so, that is a little difficult for us to conceive.
Even if it’s one man having many wives, still there are so many complexities involved in that. And how is exactly that to be done? So, there is some way it was managed. So, same way, this was an exception, it was managed, and it’s very clear that it’s not meant to be a standard.
And, of course, this exception was sanctioned or was thrown in Mahabharata because the people involved who are the five Pandavas themselves are virtuous and they are having exceptional moral character. So, that’s why, if somebody uses it as a license for immorality or somebody decries it as providing a license for immorality, then that person is having a selective vision of the Mahabharata where one doesn’t see all the contextualization that is done in this particular activity. Thank you.