How our home in this world can take us to our home beyond this world

[House warming talk, London, UK]

Video:

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Hare Krishna! Thank you for coming today evening.
And I’ll speak on the topic of how our home in this world can take us to a home beyond this world. I’ll talk this based on the Srimad Bhagavatam, the second canto. There’s a verse which says, Dhautatma Purushaha Krishna Padamulam Namunjati Mukta Sarvaparegleshaha Panthaha Svasaranam Yatha Says that Dhautatma, that person, that soul who is purified, Krishna Padamulam That soul never leaves the lotus feet of Krishna.
Always stays sheltered in God. Why? Namunjati, never leaves it up. Because in that devotion to God, Mukta Sarvaparegleshaha Become free from all distress.
As Panthaha Svasaranam Yatha Just as a person who has gone on a long and tiring tour When they come back home Svasaranam Yatha Just as they feel relieved and happy When they come back home Like that, the purified souls feel happy When they are at the feet of Krishna. So this verse basically tells Just as we can get shelter in our home in this world We can get shelter in God similarly beyond this world. So I’ll talk about this in three broad parts.
First I’ll talk about How we all long for a shelter, for a home. Then I’ll talk about how the ultimate shelter is to be found beyond this world. And then I’ll talk about how our shelter in this world Can point us or take us to the shelter beyond this world.
Across the world Human beings have many differences. Say differences in what kind of food people eat. Different kind of, say, how people dress.
Even when you are talking with people In different cultures How much distance you keep between two people talking with each other. That’s also different. Sometimes in some cultures People keep a little distance and then you talk.
In other cultures you come very close. And if two people are from different cultures Like that, one culture where the space is a lot Space is more and other culture the space is less. It’s almost like When the two people are talking The first person is moving forward The second person is moving back The first person is moving forward The second person is moving back So they feel uncomfortable Why are you coming so close? And the other person feels uncomfortable Why are you going so far away? So like that There can be many differences In the way people live.
But across the world People have certain common aspirations. And one of those aspirations Is the aspiration for a home. A place where we can Where we can just be comfortable We can feel safe We can feel a sense of belonging Where we can be loved In fact That feeling is so deep rooted There is even a phrase out of it Feel at home here When you say some guest has come Feel at home here That means just be comfortable here Treat it like your own home The idea is Home is a place where we feel comforted Now life is tough Everybody has challenges Even if people look very successful Very happy If you just scrape a little below the surface Everybody is working through their own tragedies Maybe somebody has just lost their job Somebody has got a terrible disease Somebody’s religionship is just going downhill Somebody’s child has got caught in some drugs Or something like that So many problems people have So it’s almost like the world is like a battlefield Where problems can attack us from various sides So even when soldiers are fighting a war They need a camp where they can rest They can recuperate So the world is like a battlefield And we need a place Where we can get some shelter We can get some rest Where we can rejuvenate Get rejuvenated And that is what is done by a home There is a difference between a home and a house House is the physical structure A home is not just the physical structure It’s the physical structure Plus the feelings of belonging Of love Of acceptance Of safety That it all brings So because life is tough Because there are so many threats that come upon us Human beings across the world seek a shelter And when we seek a home Basically sometimes it is said Have your feet on the ground Some people just have too many fantastic ideas I’ll do this and I’ll do that And I’ll do that It says get your feet on the ground first So a home or a physical property Is like where we put our feet on the ground It’s grounded in reality If we look at the dreams most people have Many people from India come to the western world And say there is a great American dream Is there a great British dream also? I don’t know But people talk about the great American dream So you have a beautiful white house With a picket fence around it or whatever So people have these common human aspirations like that So the idea is that a home is a place Where we get shelter from life’s attacks From life’s anxieties And this is what if we see in Sanskrit Or in Hindi, Marathi It’s called as Bhavan A Bhavan is a home That’s a traditional word for a home So this is what the first point I’m going to make is We all need a shelter Anywhere, everywhere in the world This is one of the universal common aspirations of people We long for a shelter And while a home is an important shelter The second point I’ll make is that The ultimate shelter is not in this world But is beyond this world Unfortunately, especially today There are many people who don’t want to go home There was a study done in the London School of Economics When office becomes home So what happens nowadays People’s relationships are dysfunctional You go home and then you have a spouse You don’t know how to relate with them You have children who don’t listen to you And at least in the office Everything is well structured You give an order and it’s followed And you can be competent You can get work done You can get some returns from it So many people Especially when their homes are troubled They prefer to stay in the office So now Bhavan Between Bhavan and One The difference is Bha That Bha is for Bhagawan So when God is not there in the home Then the home, the Bhavan becomes like a One It becomes like a forest And when it’s a forest In the forest or a jungle It’s like the law of the wild It’s survival of the fittest Why it is right So often Home, instead of providing shelter It can actually cause tension It can cause anxiety Especially when we don’t get the sense of belonging We don’t get the sense of Sense of comfort, joy, love And unfortunately this is happening more and more In the past we had joint families Now we have nuclear families But now even that there is nuclear fission And even the nucleus is split And we have protons and neutrons orbiting around All alone So unfortunately Many people don’t experience shelter even in their homes And even if the home is comfortable Even if there is shelter in the home Still The shelter in this world is temporary Even the best of shelters That we may get Even in somebody’s best of the homes Still ultimately there is distress There is disease There is death And in the world The more we get shelter in something The more we feel the loss When the shelter is no longer there If somebody is a very close-knit family Most of us come I think all of you are from India Or at least Indian subcontinent So the family structure is quite strong over there So I was in a programme in America A university programme One student he came And he was looking a little grave After the programme I asked him what happened He said my dad died yesterday I said oh I am sorry I said are you very disturbed by that He said no I saw him only 2-3 times in my life What? What do you mean? He says no My mother and I were separated My mother and he were separated And I didn’t even know him I said okay then Do you stay with your mother? He said no What? He said I grew up in a foster home Really? I said why? Normally when there is an orphan They go to a foster home So he said actually when I was 5 My parents separated The word divorce is also a very harsh word So now they use the word separated It’s as if you know Two things were together They got separated It’s very soft in it I was in Canada And I was staying at a devotee’s house So the husband is a professional But he also does He is also a priest He does Vibhaha Yajna Samskar And Vibhaha Yajna like that So he does marriage ceremony as a priest And his wife is a family lawyer Now I asked what does family law mean? He says that’s just a softer word for divorce litigation So then he was saying that Husband and wife are a complete package You come to the husband for marriage You come to the wife for divorce So now the point So this boy said that when I was 5 My parents separated And when they separated Both of them told me That this marriage was the biggest mistake of our life And okay sometimes people don’t get along It’s terrible but it happens But what happened thereafter was I never heard of this Both the parents told this boy 5 year old boy This marriage was the biggest mistake of our life And you remind us of that mistake So we don’t want anything to do with you And despite having both parents This boy became an orphan Such a horrible story So what kind of shelter do people have? So generally when we are in a close knit family So when somebody is not in a close knit family A loss doesn’t feel like a loss also Okay I didn’t even know my father My daddy passed away, he died Now if we are in a close knit family Then when there is a loss We feel it very deeply So the more we get shelter in something In this world The more if it is lost We feel greater pain because of that So what do we do? At one level we need the shelter We need a home, we need relationships We need stability But at the same time Sometimes we don’t get it And if we get it also Then when we lose it, it causes a lot of pain So what is Sometimes when we lose a loved one It just makes us question What is the point of living? We work so hard at doing things And suddenly Like in one moment Just by one blow A car hits somebody on the road Or one bug One germ comes inside the body One blow or one bang or one bug Can just end life Now this is of course a very Not a pleasant topic to talk about But it’s a real topic So it may raise the question What? What is the point of it all? When I was in my college Actually I just finished my 10th And I was in a category top In the whole state of Maharashtra In India And then the day I got my 10th result That was the day That evening My mother was diagnosed with blood cancer Leukaemia And within one month It was so advanced that Although she was determined In less than a month it was all over So that time My father used to work in a different city So I was very close to my mother And that time I started thinking What? I didn’t feel very comfortable When coming to my own home Because it was all surrounded with Memories of my mother at that time So then that’s the time I started thinking Now what is The nature of relationships? What is the purpose of life? That’s when I started reading Started reading more philosophical books And I read the Bhagavad Gita Then I eventually read the Shrimad Bhagavatam So in the Bhagavatam In the fourth canto There is a beautiful story of Prince Dhruva Many of you may know the story of How at the age of 5 he was insulted And his mother Because his father had The Maharaja Tanapada had two wives Suruchi and Suniti So Because Suruchi was more attractive So his father was more attractive to her He neglected his other wife And her son So Dhruva was neglected and insulted He felt infuriated And he said I was not allowed to sit on my father’s lap I will get a throne bigger Bigger than my father’s throne And I will sit on that But he took that vow And he ran crying to his mother And that time He ran crying to his mother His mother A maid had seen that And she had run and already told what had happened His mother was also helpless He said He said I want a kingdom bigger than my father’s He said I can’t help you in this But one person can Who is that? Vishnu Krishna And then There is a very significant verse he says Vishnu can offer you More love Than millions Of mothers like me So now when I read this statement It was like a revelation Sometimes when you think about Spiritual life, sometimes people renounce the world And they say all the relationships In this world are temporary, they are illusory Just this world is maya, give it up But this verse when I read it If Vishnu can offer us love More than millions Millions of mothers can Now if Say the mother’s love for a child Or the love in this world The shelter that we get in our home Now if that were simply maya Maya in the sense that it is false Then it is like zero Then millions of times Zero is how much? Still zero Isn’t it? So if Vishnu can offer us millions of times Of love, what a mother can offer That means the mother’s love Is also real But what Vishnu can offer Is much much more So the love we get If you consider that to be like a drop Then the love that Vishnu can give Is like an ocean So what this means is That if somebody is in the desert And They have no water at all Even if they see a drop somewhere They will desperately go in that direction I want some water That drop Cannot actually fully quench our thirst But at least Something is better than nothing And then maybe the drop gives us the hope And we get more water somewhere in this direction And then we can move forward in that direction So similarly When we Talk about the love in the world Now many of us Do if we come from loving families We have experienced some love or the other And it is It is quite If you have experienced it deeply It is deeply fulfilling So the point here is not to dismiss the love of the world But to think that If a drop Can give me so much shelter How much can the ocean give me that shelter And many of us may know this verse It has the same theme Have any of you heard this verse? Before? You also heard? Do you know its meaning? Okay, thank you So What the verse says is You are my mother You are my father You are my sibling You are my friend You are my intelligence You are my wealth You O Lord, O God of Gods You are my everything Now what does this mean? Sometimes we may just Some people take it literally Like we say The mother is God The father is God Well, if its literal The mother is God and the father is God Then say Once there was a court case And what happened was It is the mother And the father Husband and the wife And the case was The wife said I want my son to become a doctor And the husband said I want my son to become an engineer And the father He said Why do you have to come to the court for this? Just ask your son He says no, we can’t ask our son He says why not? He is not yet born So, sometimes parents Can have a full lifetime plan Before the child is born So So now if the mother and the father Literally they are God Then Which God is the child supposed to follow? The mother God or the father God? The mother God says become a doctor The father God says become an engineer So, it is not that the mother and the father Literally are God They act as Representatives of God They act as channels Through which God Gives his love To us So, that means Whatever love I have experienced from my mother Oh Lord, it is Your love experienced through her When a Baby is newborn The mother offers her breast milk to the baby And that is one of the most intimate Acts of love Certainly the mother Who offers her love has a lot of love For the baby At the same time The mother Did not do anything special To produce milk In her breasts at that time The same God Who sent a child into the world Through the mother’s womb Also send milk in the mother’s Breasts for Nourishing her child So, certainly the mother’s love is there But it is not only the mother’s love So, Tameva Mata means That whatever love my mother Has given me, yes, it is my mother’s Love, it is also God’s love coming Through my mother And same way, when babies are very small They need their mother the most As they grow up They start looking towards their father also Then they have their siblings Then they have their friends Then as they grow up, they study They discover the power of knowledge Then they earn wealth, they discover the power of wealth They get some shelter in wealth So, whatever gives us Shelter in the world That is ultimately God Giving us shelter through that Same way The home that gives us Some shelter, yes If we have a home, it is a great relief, it is a great joy So, that Shelter is there, but we understand It is God who is giving us that Shelter If we see it separate from God If we see the Mother’s love, the father’s love, the sibling’s love As separate from God Then if somehow That relationship Ends, somebody Passes away Or sometimes Relationships turn bitter or misunderstandings happen Then we will feel completely Shelterless But if you understand, yes, it is God who is offering Love from us And if there is an instrument, a person who has been an instrument For that love, we are grateful for that But at the same time We understand that the source is beyond And sometimes if This channel is blocked That doesn’t mean I have to live without Real love in my life The source is still there, I can connect with that source Bhakti Yoga is the process For connecting with the Source of all love So, we have horizontal relationships In the world and we have a vertical Relationship beyond the world With God And The vertical relationship Is eternal All the other relationships They are very important while we are in the world But they are temporary So The way of living spiritually Living spiritually Doesn’t mean that we don’t care For the shelters in the world Yes, while we are there The shelters are important And we care for the shelters We take care of the shelters But How a spiritually minded person lives This is the third point The second point I spoke is that How we need a shelter beyond the world And God is that shelter The last point I shall talk is How the shelter in this world Can take us to the shelter beyond this world How The relationships that we have The home that we have The wealth that we have How all these can take us Towards the source of all of this That is towards God The ground under us Is normally A basic sense of security for us I was in New Zealand a few months ago In Wellington I was giving a class And suddenly everybody started shaking What happened? I said there is an earthquake Oh really? And everybody was so calm Earthquake happens every week over here Really? Most earthquakes are so small That we don’t even notice it So now For those of us who have not experienced it Earthquake is very alarming The ground under us Is the basic sense of security Dad starts shaking What do you do? Where do you go? Similarly If we consider a bird On a tree On a branch For the bird, the branch is like the ground under it While the bird is on that branch The bird is sheltered by that branch But the bird Does not live In mortal fear Of the branch breaking Why? Because the bird Has faith In the power of its wings So right now The bird is On that branch And it is sheltered in that branch But the bird also has wings If this branch breaks The bird will immediately stretch its wings And fly So similarly for us The shelter in this world Is like that branch So the shelter is important While we are there But while we are in any shelter Whether it is a home or it is a relationship We need to be Developing our wings Our wings Our spiritual wings Are our bhakti Our relationship with Krishna Our devotion to Krishna To the extent While acting according to our roles and responsibilities While doing that When we practise bhakti When we Do some japa, do some puja Come for some satsang Do some swadhyay When we practise the limbs of bhakti By all of these We are developing our relationship with Krishna We are developing a connection With Krishna And in metaphorical sense We are developing Our wings We are developing our wings And If by the end Till we come to the end of our life Krishna says He says If at the time of death You remember me Then you will attain And you will never Come to this temporary world again Beyond this world Is a spiritual world And that is our eternal home That is where we as souls We are eternal God is eternal And the loving relationship between us and God is eternal So if By the end of our life We have developed Our love for God So much that We love God more than the world Then God will take us out of this world Then We will attain his abode And thus For one who is practising bhakti When death comes A devotee Does not leave home A devotee Goes home The body Will leave this world This is Body will leave this world And everybody has to do that But if the soul has developed love for God Then the soul will go home To Krishna So for us the home is a place Where we do get Shelter at the material level And that’s important But along with that The home is also the place Where we develop the spiritual shelter There Where we strengthen our wings Where we Develop our bhakti So the bh in bhavan That is Bhagavan, that is God So when we Bring God into our lives When we make him the centre of our lives When we devote ourselves To him Then the home in this world Will take us, will become a place By which we prepare our hearts So that we go to the home Beyond this world So I’ll summarise What I spoke And if any of you have any questions We can discuss after that So I spoke on the topic of How the home in this world Can point us To the home beyond this world I started by first talking about How We all long for home Although human beings are incredibly diverse In terms of their Food, their dress But everybody has a common aspiration For a home A place where we retreat And rest and get rejuvenated amidst The many battles of life Although we all want a home Sometimes the home Does not give us the promised shelter Especially in today’s world Where families are breaking down Where relationships are becoming colder Sometimes people feel Homeless even at home And they just want to stay in office Not even come at home Or if somebody is very well sheltered At home, the family is close-knit Then also when there is a loss The more we get a shelter In some sheltering, the more we feel The loss when the shelter is lost So therefore we need A shelter beyond The shelter of the home And what is that shelter? That is the shelter of God Talked about how From my experience of The loss of my mother And then Dhruv Maharaj told That Vishnu can offer us more love Than what millions of mothers can Whatever shelter we get in the home In Vishnu’s abode We can get far greater shelter So tato meva means That whatever love We get in this world If it’s like a drop, Vishnu’s love Is like the ocean That it is a drop doesn’t mean it’s insignificant It means that If a drop can also give us so much shelter Then how much can the ocean give? So The drop is meant to take us Towards the ocean So whoever gives us any love It is ultimately not just that person giving love But it is Vishnu, Krishna giving love Through that person So we respect and reciprocate with the channel But we also Recognise the source And we connect with the source And The Home becomes Bhavan when there is Bhagwan, otherwise it is a one So Bhagwan means That we practise bhakti To connect with Krishna So the material shelters are important For the shelters In this world but They are also meant to prepare us to take shelter Of the Supreme Lord And when We practise bhakti Then we live In the material shelters Like a bird living on a branch Preparing its wings To fly whenever the branch breaks So If we practise bhakti and we develop our love for Krishna If at the time of death Our love for Krishna Is more than our love for the world Then Krishna will take us beyond this world To his abode And for a devotee When death eventually comes The devotee does not leave home But the devotee Goes home Thank you very much Hare Krishna So Any questions or comments It’s an opportunity for you to Do not be silent Then don’t tell me Don’t tell her It’s a time for you This is one of the millions of moments In our life coming to Forget our doubts and go back to Krishna Even if you don’t want to go to Krishna How to live comfortably in this world You can ask questions Raise your hands And I have some questions You mentioned That we actually teach the soul How to love Krishna From my understanding the soul’s natural position To love Krishna So what is it that we are actually trying to do Is it So When I said that we need to Learn to love Krishna Or teach the soul to love Krishna Is it the soul’s natural position to love Krishna Yes and no What it means is that To love And be loved Is the universal human longing What is universal human longing Universal longing Of every living being Even tigers in the jungles They love their cubs They love their mates It’s a longing of wherever there is consciousness However Based on the kind of body and mind we have That love Gets directed Towards certain objects And Sometimes The direction is Say for example when a mother loves a child That’s natural and necessary For the child to Especially in the early years To be able to survive and grow So Prabhupada says that is naturally necessary But that is not intrinsically spiritual Unless the mother Sees the child as a gift of God As a soul who is a part of God Who is entrusted by God in my care So we Will naturally love But what we will love Will depend on our consciousness Depend on The kind of body and mind we have That means say If a If a person is born in a particular Say if somebody is born in Not just people but even objects If somebody is born in South India Whenever they think of food They think of Idli Sambhar That’s the food they think of If somebody is born in Punjab They think of Parathas So the love For food is natural but the expression May be specific So we all love certain things So in that sense to love is natural But presently That propensity to love Is distributed And dissipated over many things So Learning to love Krishna what it means is That we acknowledge that there are many things Attractive and I am attracted to them But the attractiveness of all these things Is ultimately meant to point Me to the all attractive Source of everything So the love that is Distributed and dissipated over various Things that needs to be directed towards The source Supreme source and that Redirection is the process of Bhakti So in that sense Bhakti Yoga Is not like Learning in the sense that something we don’t Know But it’s learning in the sense that something Which we know But it is lost so deep Inside us That we ourselves have forgotten Sometimes It happens to me when I am travelling You know if I have something which is very important Maybe my passport or something like that I keep it very carefully And then I can’t find it Because I kept it so Carefully That I don’t know maybe I kept it so deep In a pocket So we might lose something Because we are careless and we Lose it somewhere or we might lose something Because it is so deep that it is lost So we could say love for Krishna Is so deep In the heart that there are so many other Impressions because of which it is Almost inaccessible to us So we have to reawaken And reaccess That love which is very deep within the heart And then we will be able to connect With Krishna lovingly Thank you Yes There is an extension to his question About the experience of This love to God Is it something that we can only experience Once as you say we are preparing For it but once we lose ground And then we still think about Krishna And we get the place to experience it So it is something that we can experience In this present life So is love for Krishna something We experience only when We go to him or Can we experience it now also It’s incremental See first of all We also need Some amount of knowledge To experience To understand that I am experiencing love Say for example When a baby Is very new born The baby doesn’t even understand That this person is my mother For the baby This is just some soft substance Something soft and nice comes from that And I’ll drink it But gradually as the baby grows The baby starts becoming aware This is my mother and she loves me And she cares for me Say the baby is sleeping And suddenly it becomes Very cold And the baby’s eyes are closed And the baby is shivering And the mother notices the baby is shivering And the mother puts up Comfort Now The baby has not opened her eyes To see the mother there But just by Experiencing the relief From the cold The baby knows This must be my mother She has put this comfort room So there It’s an inference from experience The baby may not even think Like this But it’s inference from experience So similarly for us Our eyes are closed Like that baby So we don’t really perceive God At our present state But We can experience Relief Just like Say when the comforter is put You feel relief Like that when we Remember God Say when we come to a temple When we worship the Lord When we sing some songs When we do some kirtan Then we experience some relief Even people Who are sceptics If they go to a temple Or they come to a holy place They experience something special I feel peaceful here They don’t necessarily attribute it To the deity in the temple But something is there over there Some vibes So for us primarily That experience of Relief From anxiety From distress From agitating desires That Is our experience Of God And as we keep Growing spiritually That experience will become more and more The Srimad Bhagavatam says Bhakti Bhakti is a process When we follow this process It gives us Experience Experience Of that Lord Who is beyond this world He can’t be experienced simply by the senses But he is Experienced by a devoted heart And the result of that experience is Viraktir anyatra chalam Other experiences Don’t trouble us so much So This experience is so rich And fulfilling That other experiences It doesn’t matter So that relief Is our experience of God And if we have knowledge Then from that experience We can infer That this is God’s loving experience And as we keep practising Bhakti more and more Gradually this experience of relief Will become more and more frequent And not only that Beyond that we start experiencing Our spiritual eyes Our spiritual eyes will start awakening And then there will be more and more Perception of God But this experience of relief And shelter Is definitely something we can experience In this world also Thank you When we Live together Some have experience with Krishna Bhakti And someone very new for that Especially when you have a close relationship When you say to the other person Can you do what I am doing The other person says, you are right I appreciate what you are doing But I am not ready for that, don’t force me And that person is listless But the person knows The relation knows, he is listless This is the solution for him But he couldn’t say But how to convey The person’s pious To inspire more to Krishna Everybody thinks Krishna is something so different I know earlier my father My father died, my grandfather died What do you feel about having Different situations Yes So If we have a family member Relative Who knows that Krishna Consciousness is good but they feel It is too much and they don’t Want to practise but they are in distress And practise of Bhakti Can give them relief but they say I am not ready for it Then what do we do at that time This is a universal question 20 or so years ago When I started practising Bhakti first More than 20 years At that time I naturally wanted My father and others to practise So I asked one of The sanyasis at that time How do I get my father also to start practising Bhakti So he replied By letting anyone except you You don’t preach to him You don’t preach to him Why Because what happens We all have our Political relationship and the dynamics of the Relationship So normally say in a traditional culture The father is not really Ready to learn from the son And that’s what I did I got out of the way I connected my father with Devotees of his age group Of his socio Cultural background And he became much more receptive over a period of time So sometimes The dynamic of our relationship With that person Becomes the filter through which They perceive Krishna And then They may not be averse to Krishna Bhakti But Our particular relationship That becomes a filter which causes them to hesitate So in general Yes Naturally if we are practising Krishna Bhakti And we experience some relief Some shelter in that We want others also to experience that shelter That’s natural At the same time We need to recognise that We can’t control anyone Even Krishna Doesn’t control anyone Krishna has been everyone free So in general All of us One human being Can influence Another human being Only in three broad ways The door to personal change Is a door That can be opened Only from inside Nobody can force Anyone to change It is That person has to feel inspired To change So what we can do is From outside we can provide Three broad things I call it as Enlightenment Engagement And Encouragement Enlightenment means That we try to Explain to them Give them the knowledge to see The consequences of their actions Rather than telling them do this Try to help them see What will happen if you do this And what will happen if you do this So often we can see it Very clearly But they can’t see it because they don’t have that knowledge So rather than giving a prescription Of what they should do Give them the knowledge by the vision Knowledge that gives them the vision To see what will happen when they do something So that’s Enlightenment The second is Engagement Engagement means Say for example if I want you to do this Then how can you do this So Like say in my father’s case I wanted my father to practise But he needed a proper environment Where he could do that That was his age group So if we want our spouse Or our children or our siblings To practise Bhakti Then we have to see How can they be engaged With their current interests With their current level Maybe they like music So we want them to come for Satsang but they are not ready to come for Satsang But if there is a spiritual Kirtan programme they are happy to come for that Sometimes some people They will come to a temple But There was Where was it I think it was Adelaide in Australia There was one devotee couple So the Mataji She would She would eagerly come for the programmes The husband would come to the temple But would not come to the lecture And he would just wait For her outside in the car And when the programme would get over he would come And he would come and take her back So for one and a half two hours he would just be in the car He said I will not come to the temple He said I don’t want to be lectured Then One day What happened was That while he was sitting in the car Something like a Prasadam truck or something came from outside And then the devotee who was Getting that whole prasadam or plates Or whatever is out He was alone and he was doing that This person was sitting in the car Can you help in this And then he took that And he came inside And then this devotee We understood Can you serve prasad to him He said yes And then this My wife she came out Husband was serving her prasad She was surprised What happened He said I invited so many times She never came Then he liked that And then after that He would still be in the car Whenever the lecture was going on But whenever prasadam would start he would come to serve the prasadam So he had that Taste for doing some service But not for lecture So what happened was That sometimes people May not be ready to take the complete package And if we present Krishna consciousness like a one zero thing You do this You have to do everything Sometimes they may just want to take one part of the package And that’s also ok So he was ready to serve And now he started meeting devotees and talking with devotees And then there was one devotee Who would serve prasadam with him regularly And then one day he said today I am giving the class Oh really you are giving You are such a nice person I will come for the class And he came because They were friends he came for the class And he liked the class And now that Prabhu has become a preacher So he gives classes So It happened gradually So basically engagement means That rather than Telling people do things Look at their circle of interest Say this is the circle of interest Find out where Their circle of interest intersects With the bhakti circle And Rather than telling them do all this Just ok can you do this one thing That’s engagement And third is encouragement Encouragement means That even when If we know that something is the right thing to do Often It is the way we tell them Sometimes Instead of appreciating people when they do a small thing As soon as they do one small thing Immediately they tell Now you do this I was in Dubai I was with one family And their daughter was telling My parents are never satisfied with whatever I do Really We are very happy With whatever you do Why do you feel like this So she said that He gave an example That one day she chanted four rounds And So then I told my mother That I chanted this four round japa Mother said yes Now soon we should start sixteen rounds So Instead of appreciating her for what she was Doing She just put another standard So we need to Encourage others That means Now what they are doing Appreciate them And inspire them So by our example By our words If we inspire them Then what happens Even if they take small steps They feel appreciated If they take one step And they feel This is just a pile up of More expectations from me Then they say I don’t want to get into this only So just appreciate So we have to do these three things Enlightenment, Engagement and Encouragement Then We basically open the door For them to walk through And even if they don’t walk through the door We keep the door open And one day they will walk through Ok Very Krishna Very Krishna How do we not fall into the trap Of getting too attached to our parents And we remember that love is coming From Krishna It’s not So black and white It’s It’s not that to be spiritual We stop being human See Our spirituality is meant to expand Our humanity Not diminish our humanity So it’s natural As a human being We all need relationships And In India We often talk about If we are in a spiritual mind We talk about attachment Don’t become too attached to someone And that’s valuable At one level You could say There’s a thin line There’s a thin line separating You can come ahead There’s a thin line separating There’s a thin line separating Attachment and commitment It’s often Only when a person Is Is Emotionally invested in a relationship Will they be ready to do Sacrifices that are often required To sustain that relationship To enrich, to deepen that relationship So We shouldn’t When is it attachment and when it is When is it actually commitment Because commitment is needed In every relationship Without commitment relationships just crumble So Broadly speaking Commitment Is emotional investment Attachment Is emotional dependence If we are not Emotionally invested in a relationship Then We just can’t As I said sacrifice for the relationship And every relationship requires Sacrifice But when we are Under the attachment That means there is emotional dependence That means Our very existence Depends On that other person’s approval If that person is unhappy Then it’s like my whole life is In tatters Of course We don’t want to make anyone intentionally unhappy But sometimes Because we are finite beings And we have individual interests So we may not be able to do Something that the other person wants us to do And Sometimes the other person may also be Conditioned and they may want us to do Something which is actually Harmful for us or which may not be so good For us So if we are emotionally dependent on that person Then Just to please them or just to not Displease them We will go to any extremes to do whatever They want us to do And that is unhealthy So basically Emotional Dependence Means that we Want to please the other person Whatever the cost And sometimes We may do unethical things We may do things which are harmful for ourselves And sometimes harmful for the other person also Just because we are attached we do that So What we can do is Keep The bigger picture in mind That means That every relationship Is important But ultimately life has a purpose So we exist Not just in one relationship But in a network of relationships And We exist in a network of relationships And we are on a journey of Spiritual evolution Spiritual evolution means our consciousness Expands till we ultimately Develop love for Krishna So we need to have Our purpose clear What is the purpose of My life, what is the most important thing In my life When we have that purpose clear It is purpose that gives perspective Perspective means This is more important, this is less important So If something more important Is prominent in our mind Then we can say no to that which is less important Say for example If one evening somebody invites us For a party Now we are not really interested in going to that party But If we are not doing anything special in that evening Then to say no to that person will be difficult But if you are already going for some other programme Say actually I have already booked for that programme So when we already are Saying yes to something Then saying no to something else Becomes easier So similarly If we We are purposefully focused On Our spiritual evolution That means We want to grow towards Krishna And we want to help others grow towards Krishna And of course on the journey We want to be with each other and we want to support each other But We don’t want that horizontal relationship To be At the cost of other horizontal relationships Or the cost of the vertical relationship With Krishna So when we have that purpose clear The purpose will give us perspective And perspective means Yes this person is asking this from me I will do this It is difficult but I will do this because I care for this person But Perspective also means if this person asks this, this is too much If I do this It will hurt me, it will hurt them It will be counter productive So If we understand this difference Then we can move forward So basically We need to be emotionally invested But we don’t need to be emotionally dependent And if we are connected With Krishna and sheltered in Krishna By the practise of Bhakti Yoga Regularly Then we have a basic emotional security Coming from our connection with Krishna And then We are not so emotionally Needy For that person’s approval Because our emotion Now we do need relationships Krishna alone is not enough for most of us We need a community around us But if we are too Emotionally dependent on someone Then that person can manipulate us So if we are connected With Krishna and sheltered in Krishna A basic level of emotional security is there Then If a particular relationship If a particular Situation requires us to say no to someone Then We can say no to that We don’t get, we don’t feel it’s like my life Is falling apart When we say no to someone So attachment basically Means inability to say no No matter what the cost is So that attachment can be avoided If we are connected with Krishna And we have a broader understanding Of the purpose of our life Okay, the last question You are also Your siblings How do you avoid The fences You have to keep that human Natural relationship with them Okay Very good I guess Without realising Because we won’t do that for devotees outside But we might do that at home Yeah, okay So if our family members are also devotees Then How can we avoid offending them While at the same time Doing what is natural in that relationship Yeah Firstly We have to understand What is an offence It is Offence is like an elastic world Elastic means It can have many different meanings Aparadha in Sanskrit we call it At one level It is said in the Bhakti literature That if you see a devotee And you are not happy on seeing that devotee Then that’s an offence Now There are some devotees We feel unhappy on seeing them Why is this person here Now It is just the way Life is Sometimes we get along With some people And sometimes we just don’t get along with some people As they say Some people bring happiness Wherever they go And some people bring happiness Whenever they go Laughing So And sometimes devotees May also be like that So offence It is an offence but it is like a minor offence The idea is we should be happy When we see somebody devoted to Krishna But they are devoted to Krishna But sometimes how they are devoted to Krishna Is not as important for us As how they are interacting with me And if we have unpleasant interactions Then that’s what dominates our consciousness So let’s understand The really serious offences Are where Out of envy we are trying to pull down The other person That means When somebody is praised, somebody is appreciated And then You think he or she is so great Actually they are not so great You know what they did So when somebody is being glorified And you pull them down Say somebody does very nice kirtan Somebody gives very nice classes And everybody is glorifying him, such a nice devotee And then somebody says You know how much prasad he eats Laughing So Trying to Somebody is being praised And you try to pull them down Of course this is also not a very serious offence But this is an indication of the direction When we consciously try to pull down someone That is a very serious offence In between could be say Sometimes You know we shout at someone We yell at someone Now that is not You could say at one level good Even in a normal relationship, what to speak of a devotee relationship But is Yelling at someone an offence No sometimes In the heat of the emotion we might speak some things And it’s good if we can avoid that But we can’t live In paranoia Constant fear I’ll commit an offence Sometimes our emotions also need a vent We need to express ourselves It’s not a licence To yell at each other Laughing My point is simply that we all have certain human emotions And they need to be expressed You can try to express them in a regulated way But still they need expression So If you consider the elasticity of the term Of offence So certainly With our relatives or loved ones We won’t be in that trying to pull them down intentionally So in that sense generally we are not offensive to them Laughing So But at the intermediate level If in the heat of the moment Sometimes we speak something So If our Something which we should not have spoken Maybe it’s offensive, the other person feels hurt or whatever So at that time That particular interaction will be painful And we may also regret it later But relationships are not just shaped by one word Or one interaction It’s like a whole series of interactions Overall we are respectful We are responsible, we are loving Then even if something Harshly spoken It will not be taken so seriously I have written a book on the Ramayana In which I talk about human relationships Based on the Ramayana So when When Ram Had gone to chase Marichi Seek Marichi Who had come as a deer And then That deer turned into Marichi And he screamed Oh Lakshman, oh Sita, help In the voice of Ram So at that time Sita desperately told Lakshman Go and help And Lakshman said Ram is not in danger He said this is the demon impersonating She said no Ram is in danger Go And Sita at that time was frantic With worry That finally she somehow wanted to Board Lakshman to go And she accused Lakshman No I know why you are not going You want Ram to die So that You can have me for yourself She said I will die rather than Be touched by you And she just went on a Diary accusing Lakshman And Lakshman had never even Thought like that Those words were unbearable For him, he just went away Because of those words He said oh Sita you don’t know what you are saying Out of anger but still the words you are Speaking are unbearable for me And He left from there Now of course a disaster Happened, Ram came and kidnapped her But eventually When Lakshman Had to fight to get Sita back Lakshman did not say to Ram She spoke those words to me, I am not going to fight with you Laughing Or Even when they were reunited Lakshman did not tell You are not apologised till now Laughing So So Don’t see Intention In what is spoken In tension Laughing Don’t see Intention in what is spoken In tension So sometimes in tension when you speak Some words, don’t Hold it too much against people Of course again I said this is not a licence To speak whatever we want We don’t need to discipline ourselves But in general Relationships are dynamic And sometimes if we care very deeply For something we might speak strongly about it So if overall Our purpose is to serve Krishna And With that purpose we try to Act Then even if we go off track We will come back on track So in the purpose of serving Krishna Sometimes you might do confidently I want to do it this way, you want to do it this way We may put our case Very forcefully And sometimes one choice has to be done And the other person will be unhappy because of that That’s just the way life is We don’t have to live in paranoia But still we have to be conscious Ok So thank you very much Yeah Generally in Hinduism We are from different backgrounds And many many So many Many gods But only Krishna They don’t care about other gods So how is this How can we believe Only Krishna Many many It’s a long question Ok So in Hinduism it talks about many gods Krishna is only god Well not exactly We also accept that there are devatas Not that we say only Krishna There are many worshipable beings At the same time We follow Shastra And Shastra, the Bhagavad Gita for example This is a hierarchy Basically Much of Current Hinduism Has emerged As an intersection Much of current Hinduism Has emerged as an intersection of Say traditional understanding of Scripture And western interpretation of Scripture So when the western people came to India They had certain categories There is monotheism and polytheism So their ideas Monotheism is Judaism, Christianity, Islam Is Abrahamic religions There is one god Like a cardinal belief in them And before that was the Greco-Roman tradition The Romans had many gods They imaged many Nature Natural entities to be Natural forces to be governed by certain gods So they had this idea of This dialectic This two categories Monotheism or polytheism And when they came to India They tried to Interpret Hinduism in terms of that Now Oh you worship so many gods It’s polytheistic But then they found That actually It’s not that simple So the word technically If you want to use it What Hinduism has Is not monotheism Is not polytheism It’s actually Polymorphic monotheism What does it mean? Morpha is form Poly is many So monotheism is one god But polymorphic monotheism That means one god Who manifests in many forms And actually it is not even Polymorphic monotheism Because in our tradition god is not just one person God is a divine couple God is not just Ram, it is Sita Ram God is not just Krishna It is Radha Krishna So it is not even polymorphic monotheism It is polymorphic Bimonotheism There is one god who manifests as a divine couple So the idea is That there is one supreme being But it is not a One zero thing If you cannot worship god Then you can worship If you cannot worship the one supreme being Then there are many other beings you can worship And those other beings Worshipping them can also elevate one So it is like There is a hierarchy of progression Say in 720 to 723 In the Bhagavad Gita Krishna talks about this That Say if a child Say if a father has two children And one of them barely passes the exam Say one son gets 40% marks Barely passes The other person is very good Gets 80% marks And today Both of them have come With their results And both of them have got 60% The first son comes And says I have got 60% And the father says Shabash Well done And the second son says I have got 60% Badmash what have you done Laughing Say you also got 60% Why are you calling me badmash So now For somebody Who is at 40% 60% is a big step up For somebody who is at 80% 60% is a step down So similarly In the scriptures Yes there is Glorification of the worship of the devatas also And so for somebody Who is either materialistic Or atheistic Like they are at 40% And they start worshipping a devata That is rising to 60% And that is good So shabash So if somebody as compared to a materialist is worshipping a devata That is very good They are at least pious, they are at least religious But if somebody can have the proper Philosophical understanding By which they can worship Krishna Then that is like They are at the 80% level And from there if they start worshipping The various devatas Then that is like from 80% coming down to 60% So The idea when we are sharing Krishna Bhaktis and we are following scriptures And we respect the various gods and we respect their potency Also, their worship Also has results However it is a progression So Somebody who can come to 80% They needn’t Stay at 60% But somebody who is at 40% And they come to 60% that is laudable So somebody If we have this inclusive Understanding of a progression Then We will see Where a person fits And encourage the graduate to rise up from there Thank you Thank you very much Shri Prabhupada Ki My message earlier There are 13