How to preach to people who want to speak their own ideas and not hear?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
How to cooperate joyfully with devotees of very different ages? That is, cooperation is possible only when there is operation.
We can cooperate only when we are operating. So it’s not that cooperation means we have to suppress our own danger so that we can work together. But then the adjustment is required.
In general, we are all individuals. And we need like-minded association. So our primary nutrition, our primary nourishment, emotional nourishment, are made for relationships.
If it is satisfied by having one or two good relationships, then even if the other relationships are not that fulfilling, we will move on. So if… So… So there are some people who are a joy to be with. And there are some people who are an austerity to be with.
And that’s just the way people are. For them also, they may think it’s austerity to be with you. So we shouldn’t consider that as specifically a fault of that person.
Sometimes it is, sometimes it is not. Sometimes it is incompatibility. So we have to recognize this reality.
And being some people is an austerity. And we should be willing to do this austerity for our purification, for the service of our spiritual master. But just as we can’t be expected to perform austerity all the time.
If I go to a gym and I do some exercise, then I also have to go to my home and eat some food. If I have to do exercise all the time and I never eat food, I’ll not be able to maintain it. So like that, the most important requirement for working with those who are not of our nature is to also have some association with those who are of our nature.
That will be our nourishment. And that nourishment will give us strength to work with others of a different nature. And two more important things.
Actually I was talking about cooperation among equals. I gave a whole class in Columbus, Ohio. Let us look at points there.
One is when we are of different natures, we often succumb to attribution error. Attribution error means that we observe certain behavior and based on that behavior we assume certain intention. And people of a different nature think differently.
When they think differently, the way we think, he did this, therefore he must have been thinking like this. That may not work at all. This attribution error often causes weakening of relationships or rupture of relationships.
In general, if we like someone, we attribute positive intention to him. Now if somebody is eating a lot, and if we like that person, he must have been hungry. If you don’t like someone and is that person eating a lot, same action, but we assume different intention based on our preconception about him.
So in general, if we find that we don’t like someone, we will attribute negative intention to whatever action he did. And then that attribution error perpetuates the negative perception. So rather than just attributing negative errors, it is very important to communicate it.
So if people are of different nature, then communication becomes all the more essential. Because our inferences about what they are doing, why they are doing it, they are often incorrect. So one thing which we may do is that we talk about others instead of talking with others.
Oh you know, he did that, and I want to tell that person. He did that, he did that, he did that. And then we gossip, gossip, gossip.
You think that person knows more? He was thinking about you like this. That further worsens the relationship. Gossip in general, the simple definition of gossip is to talk about the situation with someone who is neither a part of the problem, nor a part of the solution.
When we talk, that is gossip, that is projection. So if there is, rather than attribution error, just talk, talk with others and clarify. Okay, you did this, like this.
You know, I felt very disturbed by that. No, I never thought like this. I was thinking like this.
And third is that in general, people are of different nature, it is difficult for us to see the good in them. So we can talk with those who have a good relationship with them. I see this person, I feel he is lazy, he is irresponsible, he is this, he is that, and he did, you know, there are others, this person, they are so good friends.
And he is, he is, what does he see in him? In my mind, there is no word associated with them. I hear from them, they go, this quality, this quality, this quality. I am not talking, I never knew this.
So in general, by getting nourishment from those who are of a similar nature, by avoiding attribution error, and cultivating transparent communication, and associating with those who appreciate that person, then we can enhance our appreciation for that person. We can gradually learn to work cooperatively with that person. Of course, these are only a few, there are other guidelines also.
Most important is that we have to have sincere intention to serve Guru and Krishna. That will give us the necessary impetus to cooperate.