If a couple can’t have a child how can they serve Krishna?

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
So if for some reason a devotee couple is not able to have a child, then how can they continue their service and how can they engage themselves? Because having children is an important devotional service in the Grasna Ashram. Every service is like a channel for our consciousness to flow towards Krishna. And there are some services which are major channels.
But sometimes because of certain situations, say for example, chanting Hare Krishna is a major channel for consciousness, Yuga Dharma. When somebody is deaf, sorry, not deaf, he’s dumb, he can’t speak, what do they do? They chant in their mind. Because of factors beyond our control, if some service becomes impossible for us, then that doesn’t mean the connection with Krishna is stopped.
But we have to find out how most effectively we can connect with Krishna. So similarly, with respect to devotees who somehow can’t conceive a child, it depends on their particular inspiration. We keep trying different methods.
Science can always offer some hope. You can try this therapy, that therapy. Some people might try some alternative medicines.
But if we more or less accept it, okay, this is not happening due to Krishna, no? Then, if there’s acceptance of that, then there are various options available. One option is some devotees consider adoption. A few devotees have adopted children.
That is when there is a very strong need to nurture, which is there. Then, that is an option that can be considered. We have seen non-Indians consider it more than Indians.
If Indians adopt also, then rather than adopting someone unknown, they may have some relative’s child whom they may adopt or something like that. That’s one option. But if one doesn’t have that specific need to nurture in that way, then I’ve seen many devotees get very actively involved in services.
And through preaching service also, sometimes some devotee couple can become like the parents of a congregation that they build up. So, now of course, you’ll be quite young, but say 15 years old, 20 years old, if you’ve been preaching regularly, then you will have almost like a community, a small community of devotees with you. And I’ve seen that, then the mother becomes like a mother and the father becomes like a father for the community.
And then there’s abandoned reciprocation of love that can happen. So, I’ve seen three different situations. One is that somebody becomes a preacher, an active preacher, and then they cultivate a community.
And quite often, if one is not having children, then one can actually devote one’s much more energy to preaching. Especially, I know one devotee couple from Chowpatty, they have a biological child, they are counselors. So, now actually they travel all over the world.
They are grahasthas, but they travel all over the world. So, they are able to do that because they don’t have children. So, otherwise, of course, it can be one place also.
So, if one can get into the mood of preaching and cultivating people, there also that need for nurture can be taken care of that way. The second is that one does not get so much into preaching service, but one gets busy in some other services. Say, deity worship or Buddhist mission or whatever.
Basically, one gets oneself engaged. And in every service, there is some amount of human reciprocation. But the need to nurture, that may not be fulfilled so much in some other services.
But preaching can fulfill that. Especially, not just preaching in terms of giving classes or distributing books, but preaching in terms of cultivating people, helping them grow up. That is something that can be done.
Then, of course, in preaching, sometimes, it may happen in a more traditional society that people may become a little judgmental. You don’t have a child. But I have seen in the devotee community, it doesn’t matter so much.
Especially, if we are not living in a joint family setting or not in a family, there is some pressure that comes. But eventually, just understand it’s your life. They will not be happy.
They will try to pressure us. But eventually, they accept it after some years. So, in the devotee community, I have not seen so much judgmentality or so much pressure.
A few devotees here and there may speak. But overall, devotees are concerned about how well we are situated and how we live our continuity. But that social pressure can be too much for some people.
We will have to see how best we can adjust that. Adapt to that or tolerate that or just deal with it. Third is that if one does not have children and also one has not a very outgoing nature, then preaching or doing that kind of services, that becomes a little more difficult.
Then, in all these situations, it’s possible that one may get some loneliness. But in that situation, unless one can find some engagement within that situation itself, some people just are a little more hesitant to form relationships. And then, cultivating may not be there in nature so much.
Then, if you have a family, you have a child, then it’s your child. So, you take up that responsibility. Then again, at that time, some kind of more introvert kind of engagement.
The difference between cultivating and teaching. Teaching would mean it’s more like somebody teaching a Gokshastri course. There are more teachers.
Also, you have some bonding with the people. But it’s not your responsibility to help the people from one stage to the next stage. You give classes, educate people, and then move on.
Next batch comes and we educate them. So, some kind of that kind of service may be required. But it’s not so much… Even DT worship also, it’s not that… It depends on what kind of service you are doing.
If you are doing DT worship or the DTs, it’s not so much… You are interacting in the DTs mode, not with the people so much. But you have to find some long-term engagement. And there are some devotees who consciously choose not to have children so that they can do more service to Krishna.
Generally, that is not so much encouraged. Because this is also a service to Krishna. But then, those devotees who choose like that, if they can deal with the… whatever incompleteness they may feel because of that.
That is not a major consideration. And there’s a lot of service that can be done. So, it is a major engagement to take care of children.
But it is not… I would say, not having children is not necessarily an impediment in the Vata Bhakti. So, you just have to find out other services. And overall, I’ve seen many devotees, Devotee couples who don’t have children and they are leaders of congregations and they are travelling preachers or preachers.
They are able to do quite well. So, once there is acceptance, this is how it is now. And after that, you can move forwards and explore what all you can do.
And you can… Krishna will reveal some more things. What can be done, what cannot be done. And move forwards from there.