If it doesn’t work get out – is such a utilitarian attitude in bhakti towards things like marriage justifiable?

Anwser Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
so when we want to progress towards Bhakti we use various things for growing towards Bhakti and what is the relationship of Karma, Jnana with Bhakti for example somebody will say I only want to practice Bhakti so in the Karma there is the ashram of marriage marriage is not working for me anyway it’s a painkiller only let me just give it up and let me practice Bhakti so now then two different things there is there is renunciation and there is frustration so what is the difference between the two renunciation means there is no desire to enjoy frustration means there is inability to enjoy so sometimes frustration can lead to renunciation when we are unable to enjoy just let me give up the whole thing but frustration alone is not renunciation so what will lead to renunciation is purification and purification requires the practice of a process diligently so if you say renunciation is here frustration is here sometimes we may renounce the world simply because we are frustrated like in college preaching sometimes there are boys whom we try to invite for programs and they don’t come and they come very occasionally and then one day the boy comes and says I want to become a brahmachari he says what happened you are not even coming for a program and you want to become a brahmachari no my girlfriend left me for some other boy so I decided to become a brahmachari well just your girlfriend leaving you doesn’t qualify you to become a brahmachari you have to have attraction to Krishna commitment to Sir Krishna only then somebody can become brahmachari so we may see frustration as an impetus for renunciation but that kind of renunciation will never last for it to last what is required is purification and the commitment to practice the process of purification so now in today’s world so going back a little further when I started by talking about differentiation between renunciation and frustration the unwillingness to enjoy is renunciation the inability to enjoy is frustration so today in today’s culture many people are opposed to commitment of any kind there is aversion to commitment and aversion to commitment is not detachment see basically aversion to commitment means the mind has many proposals for enjoying and I think that if I commit to one way of enjoying then I lose the other ways of enjoying so let me keep all options open so basically we are having still a lot of faith in the mind’s promises of enjoyment that we have so much faith in the mind’s promises of enjoyment that we want to be open to all its promises so whereas when there is detachment we have lost faith in the mind’s promises of enjoyment that’s why aversion to commitment and detachment are two very separate things so when we are going to practice bhakti in this world the process of bhakti requires commitment and somebody who has made a habit of being averse to commitment they will not be able to commit themselves to bhakti also so if a person enters into a relationship and has a use and throw attitude towards the relationship okay ultimately I am going to practice bhakti only this relationship is not working let me give it up but then not working means what? mind is finding it unpalatable I want to give it up what will you do tomorrow if the mind starts practicing bhakti bhakti itself is unpalatable we will give that up also so we cannot have when we talk about a utilitarian attitude towards things, utilitarian attitude means that that which can be used in Krishna should be used in Krishna but while it is being used we have to commit ourselves to it we have to commit ourselves to it we cannot just the growth in spiritual life primarily comes through commitment so commitment we need for our sustained practice of bhakti and even if we are doing some service in this world, we need commitment in that service so grahasthashram requires commitment and without that commitment we develop a habit of aversion to commitment and that habit will hurt us terribly in our spiritual life also so especially serious activity or activity that involves serious commitment like marriage, it should be entered very thoughtfully and it should be entered not with the idea of if it doesn’t work I will give it up no, we have to actually it is a very it is a very very extreme situation one may have to consider consider giving it up or something but you should not think oh that is a very easy feasible option it is not like that, it is a very serious commitment a dharmic commitment and it needs to be taken with great responsibility with great maturity so the use and throw attitude, the utilitarian attitude doesn’t mean that which is sacred bond of marriage is sacred just because we are practicing bhakti doesn’t mean we can desacralize and trivialize that bond of marriage if we are entering into it, it has to be taken seriously does it address your question?