If our bhakti practice is not removing our conditionings, how to avoid being discouraged?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
So, if during our material life, we face provoking situations, and that time, we act impulsively, then, we feel discouraged that despite our spiritual practice, we have not developed that level of alertness or sharpness by which we can respond appropriately. Yes, all of us have different kinds of conditionings and all of us have different strengths of those conditionings.
So, say some people, for them, let’s take something like say alcoholism, some people, they might just be social drinkers. So, if they change their social circle, they’ll give up their drinking. So, for them, the alcoholism, that is a conditioning, but that was primarily, they were doing it to get a sense of belonging.
And, that sense of belonging, they come to a devotee association, they get a sense of belonging, not by drinking, but by not drinking, and they give it up. But, say somebody else was drinking, because they wanted an escape from it. They feel stress, they feel distress, and they want to escape from it.
Now, till they don’t find a healthier way to find that escape, till that need of relief is not served in an alternative way, simply by willpower, they’ll not be able to give up that drinking. So, for all of us, every unhealthy habit is actually a distorted expression of a healthy need. So, the healthy need is, I need relief, I’m troubled, I need some relief.
But, drinking is an unhealthy way of fulfilling that need. Now, depending on how long we have engaged in that unhealthy habit, that impression, that conditioning may be very strong. And, it may take time to even identify what is the need that, why am I acting like this? So, suppose, we get angry with someone.
Now, we might say, why did I get angry? One answer might be, I just don’t have the self-control. The anger is very strong. Or, if we don’t want to take responsibility, that person did like that, that’s why I became angry.
And, okay, that person did like that. But, somebody else could have responded without getting angry also. So, now, anger is just an expression.
Now, what could be the need? We may have the need that, people should think that I’m a successful person. And, if things go wrong, people will think that I’m unsuccessful. And, that inner insecurity is what is causing us that aggressiveness.
So, for each one of us, when we act in particular unhealthy ways, rather than making it simply a willpower issue, or even a purification issue. Willpower means, yes, why don’t I have enough self-control to do it? Purification means, I’m practicing Bhakti so much, why is this not going away? We have to see, we have to do some introspection also, to find out, okay, what is making me do like this? What is the need that is being served by this? And, for that, you need to sometimes come to Sattva Guna. Come to the mode of goodness.
And, then in the mode of goodness, we can discuss with others, we can do some introspection, and then we can understand. So, even if we can’t work on our conditionings, we can still work with our conditionings. I mean, this is my conditioning.
And, this will happen. I might flare up occasionally. But, then, I won’t become discouraged.
I’ll still keep practicing Bhakti and keep doing my responsibilities. And, over a period of time, we will ourselves get that understanding. Okay, why am I behaving like this? So, if a conditioning is deep-rooted, it will take a long time to be overcome.
So, you might say, somebody else starts practicing Bhakti, and they were short-tempered, and the short-tempered went away. I’ve been practicing Bhakti for so long, but I’m still short-tempered. Now, it’s not that Bhakti is working for them and not working for us.
It’s like, each conditioning is like a rash. Now, for some people, the rash might just be superficial. You stop scratching, apply medicine for a couple of days, the rash goes away.
But, some rashes might be deep-rooted, where they may take months to heal. So, as long as we are not scratching it further, and as long as we are applying the medication, it will heal. So, we have to, at one level, learn to be kind to ourselves.
That, learn to be kind to ourselves means that we don’t necessarily hold ourselves up against a high standard, and beat ourselves up for not doing that. Of course, being kind to ourselves doesn’t mean being self-indulgent. This is the way I am, and this is the way I’ll stay.
No, not like that. This is what I am, and I want to get there. And, I am taking steps.
But, even if I am not getting there as fast as I would like, still, I will stay onwards. Because, internally, from, say, being short-tempered to being cool-tempered, it might seem like a straight journey. But, for different people, there might be different distances to be covered along that journey.
For somebody, anger might just be a small condition. And then, it’s a short distance from being short-tempered to becoming cool-tempered. But, for somebody else, it might be a long journey.
So, just be kind to yourself. Keep practicing bhakti, and try to introspect to find what is going on, and Krishna will guide us forward.