If our family attachments impede our spiritual advancement how can we be detached and still be responsible?

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This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
So if we feel that our family attachments.
Are not allowing us to advance in life. Then how can we. Be detached.
At the same time. Do our responsibilities properly. See.
At one level. There is a lot of. Judgmentality.
Associated with the words. Attachment and detachment. And.
When we say. Somebody is attached. We think that person is very fallen.
And when somebody is detached. The person will be exalted. But things are not that simple.
What happens is. We live in a culture. Especially in the western world.
And it’s coming to India also. The culture is. Very averse to commitment.
Like in the west. And India also. People just want to live together.
Without even getting married. So what happens is. Aversion to commitment.
Is not detachment. Aversion to commitment. That is not detachment.
Why? Aversion to commitment means. When a person doesn’t want to. Settle down with one spouse.
Why is that happening? It’s not that because the person is detached. It’s that the person wants to have. As many options for enjoyment.
Available as possible. If this doesn’t work out. I will try that one.
That is not detachment. It’s actually complete obsession with attachment. So.
Even we come from such a culture. Where people are. Averse to attachment.
And then they are. Averse to commitment. And then they are told about detachment.
They often. Aversion to commitment is in Tamoguna. Detachment is in Satoguna.
Aversion to commitment means. I just want to have all enjoyments open. And I am not able to decide.
Which to enjoy. But detachment means. None of these enjoyments are so special.
I want something more. So what happens is. Somebody is in Tamoguna.
But they imagine they are in Satoguna. Somebody is just thinking. I just.
Getting this enjoyment requires so much work. It’s better I just forget it. I don’t forget it actually.
I just don’t want to take up the responsibility to do it. So basically. We have to be careful that.
In the name of being detached. We shouldn’t become. Irresponsible.
Or hard hearted. Or just. Uncaring.
So. We have a vertical relationship with Krishna. And we have a horizontal relationship with others.
In some ways. These two can be competitive. Especially.
The Bhagavata. Is spoken at a time when. Maharaj was about to leave his body.
And he had already renounced. All worldly attachments. So at that time.
When one is near death. Every horizontal relationship. Can be a distractor from the vertical relationship.
So at that time. Just forget it all. Just focus on Krishna.
But during the normal course of our life. The horizontal. And the vertical relationships.
Don’t have to be competitive. Yes. In terms of the time available.
It’s limited. And whether I can come to a temple. Or I can take care of my family.
That practical balance we’ll have to do. But in principle. Every relationship.
Forces us. To come. Out of ourselves.
All of us. Are by nature very self centered. Now I’ll think only of the things.
That give me pleasure. And any relationship. That I take up.
If I take it up with commitment. Then what happens is. I have to put the other person first.
And that brings us. Out of ourselves. So in that sense.
If we consider Bhakti. To be the summit of selflessness. Where we are.
Primarily concerned about Krishna. Then this progression. From self centeredness.
To selflessness. This. Expansion of our consciousness.
This progression. Can be assisted by every relationship. Now every relationship.
Can help us. To get out of ourselves. And the more we get out of ourselves.
The more we can eventually. Get into Krishna. So if I am always thinking.
About what pleases me. Then. I can’t think about what pleases Krishna.
Because I never thought about anyone else. So the horizontal. And the vertical relationships.
Can also be progressive. They can both help each other. So in our horizontal relationships.
We put others first. And when we do that. That also creates an ethos of putting others first.
When we do that. Then we can put Krishna first also. So in a sense.
These relationships can both work together. So. In terms of.
Doing our responsibilities. Diligently. We see that our family members.
Are ultimately souls who are parts of Krishna. And whether this particular soul. Is presently disposed towards Krishna or not.
Presently practicing bhakti or not. That is important. But that is not all important.
What is important is. Even in this soul’s heart. Krishna is present.
And. By doing my responsibilities appropriately. In this relationship also.
I am very close to Krishna. Sometimes. We define bhakti.
In very narrow terms. We define bhakti. I am going in bhakti.
If I come for every program in the temple. If I do lots of services in the temple. If.
I am always seen in the temple. Among the visitors. Oh this is a very serious devotee.
Yes. That is one understanding of a serious devotee. That is true.
But that is not necessarily the only understanding. Because there are times. When material life.
May have certain circumstances. Which require attention. And if we have regularly come to the temple.
If we regularly practice bhakti. While coming to the temple. Then we have internalized that mood of service.
And that mood of service. We can take out. In our family responsibilities also.
And one of the. Defining differences. Between a kanishta adhikari.
And a madhyam adhikari. Is that. A kanishta adhikari.
Sees the relationship with Krishna. Only in terms of Krishna. When I come to the temple.
And worship the deity. That is bhakti. And what I do in the rest of my life.
It doesn’t matter. But a madhyam adhikari. A middle level devotee.
Sees the connection of Krishna with everything. So my spiritual growth will happen. Not just.
By how often I come to a temple. But my spiritual growth will also happen. By how I deal with my family members.
If a family member. Is very irritated. Then if I. Am tolerant at that time.
If I am understanding at that time. If I am patient at that time. Although externally.
There may seem to be no connection with Krishna. But through that also. I may do that.
Out of simply helplessness. And frustration. Because this particular family member.
Is older to me. Or in position of authority. So I just have to worry.
But I can also do that. Krishna is present in this person’s heart. And there are some people.
Who are very difficult to serve. Those people are. So irritating.
And we don’t feel like doing anything for them. So we may not be serving. We may.
If we think this person is so harsh. So uncaring. I don’t feel like serving them.
I am not serving that person. I am serving Krishna. Through that also.
That means. The way I conduct myself. I can go closer to Krishna.
Even by how I deal with an audience. Why? Because Krishna is present in their hearts also. And if I am conducting myself in a. Humble.
Tolerant. That does not mean that. We let them compromise our mind.
We have to arrive at a proper understanding. But. We shouldn’t have this.
Limited conception of bhakti that. Just come to the temple and do devotional activities. Or spiritual growth.
But even doing our family responsibilities. With a mood of devotion. That also leads to spiritual growth.
You know Prabhupada. In the 1930s. There is a discovery in Prayag.
At that time. He was trying to start his Prayag pharmacy. Going on.
And then. There are the interviews of many of the people who met Prabhupada. So.
There was a doctor with whom he was working. And this doctor in his interview. He says that.
It is clear that. Abhay Babu. He was a very religious person.
At that time. His main anxiety was. How can I. This is a pure devotee.
Mahabhag. But at that time. That was what his family responsibility required.
That was what he felt. How can I serve my spiritual master. So.
If. You know. If.
Prabhupada had been analyzed. From. The Gaudiya Mutt’s perspective.
How many times was he visiting Gaudiya Mutt. He was coming. But not all the time.
He was going for his business here. But still in his heart. He was committed to his spiritual master.
Now. Nothing that I say should be taken as a license for. Decreasing our directly emotional activities.
What I am saying is. That. If our circumstances require us.
Require us. To pay more time and attention. We should not.
Necessarily see it. As a disturbance in our bhakti. As a interruption in our bhakti.
We can see that. Not as an interruption in our bhakti. But as a modification in the form of our bhakti.
Earlier I was doing bhakti more like this. Now I will do more bhakti this way. But through it all.
We are growing towards Krishna.