If our family members don’t practice regulative principles is it right to disconnect from them?

Transcript

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So, if we start practicing bhakti and then we have family members or relatives who do not follow the regulative principles, should we disconnect from them? Or is it right to disconnect from them? No, it’s not a matter of disconnecting from them.
The priority is connecting with Krishna. So, even if we consider our family members or relatives, if we see life today is so fast-paced that how often even at a material level, when people are not spiritual, how often do they really connect with each other? It’s not that we are talking with each other every day. We may be geographically far away.
It all depends more on individual meeting of minds. I may have a brother with whom I am not so close but I may have a cousin with whom I am close. Because we are like-minded.
So, in any field we see that if you are like-minded, people naturally come together. So, if you like cricket and then your family members don’t like cricket so much, but there is some other relative who likes cricket, or somebody who is not even a relative, just a friend who likes cricket, naturally that will become a common point based on which you will bond. So, basically, we all bond naturally based on our interests.
There is a bonding that is there based on our relationships. But how close or how far that will be, that will vary depending on individual nature. Now, there is no principle in Bhakti that we have to disconnect ourselves from our relatives.
The principle is that we accept that which is favourable to Krishna Bhakti and we avoid that which is unfavourable. So, how that is to be practically implemented? Yes, in the initial way, sometimes devotees, we are very insensitive that we think that this is the right thing and everything else is wrong. So, when I started practising Bhakti, I asked one sannyasi, how do I preach to my parents? How can I help them to come to Krishna Bhakti? The sannyasi replied, by letting anyone except you preach to them.
Because the point is that we have a particular relationship and especially in a conservative culture where children are expected to be respectful to their parents, you don’t teach your parents. And I found that worked very well. Rather than I trying to teach philosophy to my parents, I just exposed my father to people of his age group who were spiritually minded and he has become very favourable.
So, I would say that there are two things, sometimes we as devotees become over enthusiastic to try to we could say, download all the spiritual knowledge which we have on our relatives. And if they are not ready to take it, then we just think that they are no good and we go away. It doesn’t have to be like that.
Basically, if see, it said that good fences make good neighbours. So, if there is some this fruit came on my tree, now this fruit came on my tree, now this is my property, they can always have quarrel, this fence becomes quite clear. So, if while relating with our relatives, we as devotees, we understand these are the principles I am going to practice.
And sometimes they say, you eat this, come on, you watch this, you go here, you go there. So, it’s not that all activities we have to give up. Not that all activities we have to do.
There are certain activities which are important for us which we are going to do. So, that is our fence, which they need to respect. And on the other side, they will also have a fence.
They may say that, you know, you don’t impose this on me. If I want to practice it, I will practice it. We can provide them facilities, we can connect them with like-minded people.
So, but if there is a proper understanding of boundaries, then the relationships can be renegotiated and they can be continued. But if we find that they are not ready to accept our boundaries, but they say, you give this up, then we may have to create a distance. Or, if we become too imposing on them, then they may become alienated.
So, basically, it’s a matter of just renegotiating the boundaries. Once we understand that, then we can continue that relationship in a way that is appropriate based on both the relationship and the shared interests that we have. Okay? Thank you.