If our relatives are enquiring about spirituality but aren’t submissive, how should we respond?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

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So if friends and relatives are inquiring but not inquiring submissively, then what should we do? What is the best way to reach them? Actually, yes, it is difficult for those who have been our equals, either as friends or as relatives, to suddenly start seeing us as a teacher and to inquire submissively from us.
So when I started practicing bhakti, then I wanted my parents also to start practicing. So I asked one of our sannyasi leaders, how do I preach to my parents? So he replied by letting anyone except you preach to them. So they cannot see you as a teacher, at least not initially.
So it is best that we try to answer some questions if we can and better to stay at the level of logic. We have logical answers, that’s good. Otherwise, connect them with someone more senior.
It may just be, if they come to temple, well and good. Even if they don’t come to temple, then we can give them some book. Connect them with some, nowadays with internet, so many resources are available.
Connect them with some site where answers are available. Connect them with some other sources where they can get knowledge. That’s first thing.
Now rather than we thinking that we have to be the givers of knowledge, we can see ourselves as connectors to those who are givers of knowledge. That way, they can accept spirituality without the dynamics of their relationship with us being in the constant foreground. So if they see that this is my friend and he has connected me here, then they can be more submissive or more open when they are taking it up.
Apart from that, we can also see the questions from others as impetuses for sharpening our own understanding. Sometimes we answer some questions, people are not convinced. Rather than saying, oh, why are they not getting convinced? We can come and associate with senior devotees and ask them, when such a question is asked, how can I answer this? What can I do in such a situation? And that way we can gain a better understanding of the philosophy and a better understanding of how to explain the philosophy to others also.
Thirdly, we can also focus, especially when we are dealing with those who know us closely. It is our actions that will speak much louder than the words. So if our bhakti transforms us in positive terms, which they can appreciate, that means we become more calm, more focused, more understanding, more sensitive.
If our relatives feel that, you know, this person, after he became a devotee, I don’t understand what all he or she does. I don’t necessarily agree with it. But they become a better person.
If the parents feel, he has become a better son. If a spouse feels, oh, he has become a better person. If a colleague feels, yes, he has become a better person.
Then that itself will make them want to enquire, what is it? What is it that made you better? And that way they will become more open to hear about Krishna. So our actions do speak louder than the words. Actually, Prabhupada himself, when he was asked in one interview, what is the, how do we know your followers? How do we know your disciples? Now Prabhupada could have answered, oh, they are always chanting Hare Krishna.
Prabhupada could have said that, you know, they preach everywhere that Krishna is God. No, Prabhupada said, they are perfect gentlemen. Perfect ladies and gentlemen.
That means he was talking about behavior. In terms which common people can understand. So if our behavior changes for the better, unfortunately, there also there is a trap, our behavior changes for the better sometimes, but then along with that better behavior, we become judgmental sometimes.
You know, I am better than you. No, our spiritual standards are meant to make us more understanding, not more compact, more judgmental. So if people see that we are becoming better human beings, and that makes them inquire also.
So by connecting with better, with more knowledgeable knowledge sources, by trying to fine tune our understanding of philosophy, and by trying to improve our behavior, we can inspire people to come closer to Krishna. Those people who are connected with us. Does it answer your question? Thank you.
Hare Krishna.