If someone has helped us in our pre-devotional life but is now unfavorable to our bhakti how should we interact with them?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

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in our pre devotional life we may have formed many social connections in which we are grateful to others but after coming to bhakti we evaluate based on whether something is favourable or unfavourable so some of our horizontal connections where we are grateful to others they may not be so favourable for our bhakti so what do we do in such a situation the best situation is where the horizontal and the vertical both move along together and if somebody has done something favourable for us we are grateful to them it is not that for the sake of bhakti we have to reject them we have a gratitude for them at the same time we have to understand from a philosophical perspective that whatever whoever has done for me ultimately it is Krishna who has done for me through them one of the most intimate acts of service that can ever be done by one human being for another is a mother breast feeding her child she is offering her own body’s milk to her child and now at the same time if we think more deeply the mother does not do anything special to produce milk when the child is born the same God who sent a child into her womb and brought that child out that same God also arranges for milking her breast that means that it is not that the child should neglect the mother but the point is that it is Krishna who is arranging for that child through the mother so we acknowledge the instrument but we also acknowledge the source and the best is when we are grateful to the instrument and we are also aware and grateful to the source and in some exceptional situations if they do come in conflict then the Bhagavatam says that we all have various debts in this world but if we are surrendering to Lord Mukunda, we are serving him then we are freed from these debts so we don’t have to act in our horizontal relationship if we are focusing wholeheartedly on our vertical relationship and acting in that horizontal relationship is extremely unfavorable at the same time we live in a culture of aversion to commitment many people don’t want to marry, they just want to live together there are various sociological reasons but the main thing is people don’t want commitments and what happens because we come to spirituality we often mistake aversion to commitment to be detachment but the two are not the same aversion to commitment is a responsibility detachment actually comes from a higher taste so sometimes because we live in a culture that is averse to commitment what happens is we very casually trivialize and reject our horizontal relationships and say I am doing it in the name of bhakti but actually how much we are seriously practicing bhakti that is also a question so we should consider, especially those who are close relationships we have to give them due importance and how to in principle, the best is to harmonize both the best cannot be harmonized in principle, for the vertical relationship, the horizontal relationship certain obligations can be given up but we shouldn’t do that in a dismissive or perfunctory way we have to deeply deliberate consult some senior devotees and then act maturely otherwise we may be just rationalizing our own irresponsibility in the name of spirituality does that answer your question? thank you very much