If someone helps us but makes us feel bad about having taken their help should we keep a distance from them?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
thank you very much our concern for that person and our concern for ourselves when ultimately we are the only resource we have so our concern for ourselves has to come first in airplanes they tell that the mother and the baby, the child is there there is an emergency, put the oxygen mask on yourself first put it on your child afterwards it’s essential because if the oxygen goes down, the mother tries to put it on the baby the child, the mother may not be able to put it on the baby both of them may perish we have a duty to ourselves to take care of ourselves so if some relationship has hurt us keeping a distance in that relationship is good so we shouldn’t assume that because we are trying to protect ourselves from being hurt by the other person and in that process the other person is being hurt, that means we are wrong our goal is not to hurt them, our goal is to protect ourselves so we don’t have to feel guilty about that having said that we naturally don’t want others to be hurt why should we want others to be hurt because of us so we can maybe through some third person or something convey if you have a third person who knows both of you convey your concerns and then just test their pulse that might help but since they have hurt you and you have now distanced yourself if they are feeling bad about that the initiative is up to them it’s not necessary for you to take the initiative that is actually put you to the risk of being hurt by others generally if you are spiritual it also means that our relationship with others is not just based on the two of us we understand that God is also there and whatever we are doing we behave with others not just based on how they are behaving with us we also behave based on the concept of what we want to please Krishna so sometimes a child can be very naughty but the mother can’t listen to the level of the child mothers stay at the level of the mother that’s how she helps the child to grow sometimes in some relationships we are like the child and the other person has to be like the mother sometimes the other person might not behave maturely so our behavior our interaction with them needn’t be shaped only by how they are behaving if we have this understanding what we please Krishna how can I act in a way that will be the best way I can serve in this situation the best way I can contribute in this situation then that will give us a plan a plan for functioning which is not so dependent on their resources so you may take a step forward to them but you are not doing it primarily for their sake you are primarily doing it for God’s sake ultimately we understand that when people have health problems it is not they alone who have health problems it is God who has helped us through them when a mother gives breast milk to a child it is one of the most intimate acts of love and the child naturally so closely connects with the mother at the same time the mother did not do anything miraculous to have milk in her breast just when the child came in the womb the milk came in the breast also the same God sent the child to her womb into this world also arranged for milk in her womb so we are grateful to the mother we are grateful to our mothers but we are also grateful to God we don’t see that person has helped you alone so we see that it is God who has helped you through that person now we are grateful to the intermediate agent who has helped us but if things are getting tense because of the way they have acted our parents then we are still grateful but I cannot show my gratitude in the way I am interacting with this person but I can still be grateful to God I can try to serve God and I can try to help other people in other situations so that way don’t keep the relationship at the same level of just you and that person try to see it from a spiritual perspective in connection with the relationship with God and then you will be back with greater maturity