If strong speaking alienates people should we still speak strongly or speak sensitively?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

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so, sometimes speaking the truth harshly can alienate people so, how important is it to speak the truth softly or is it that we should just speak the truth and whatever the result see, basically we can see that speaking Krishna’s message is like treating a sick person the sickness of people is that they are ignorant not just ignorant, they are having some misconceptions those misconceptions need to be removed and while we are doing that now, sometimes surgery is required so, often the example given in scripture that all those words cut like a surgeon’s scalpel they cut and they remove the misconceptions that is true and sometimes we do have to challenge people’s misconceptions at the same time if we consider when a surgery is done surgery is never the first line of treatment or very rarely it’s not as soon as the patient comes in the hospital immediately, surgery no first there is diagnosis then there is explanation then there is most important when surgery is done is consent without a consent, usually surgery is not done so consent basically means that that person with respect to our preaching scenario consent basically means that that person accepts us as some kind of authority if that person is not accepted as an authority then our words will not work they will simply who are you to instruct me like this so first of all there is there are other courses of treatment that are done then the explanation is given, consent is taken even after that anesthesia is given so then the surgery is done so anesthesia basically means creating a loving relationship helping people to feel comfortable so aids when there is a loving relationship within that loving relationship sometimes some strong words are spoken people accept it even then it is painful people accept it even after surgery is done pain medicine is given to help the patient deal with it so modern psychologists talk about like a sandwich formula, plus minus plus you appreciate the person give some room for correction tell some point to correct tell some fault and then again appreciate so basically whenever we have to correct a misconception we have to do it in such a way that the person doesn’t feel rejected or insulted that how that we do that that is up to, that is that will vary according to time, place, circumstance we keep our goal clear, our goal is to help this person come closer to Krishna now sometimes it’s like say in some temples if you go you know the step you have to climb up it’s like you know 2-3 feet tall step only so you have to do a high jump to get into that step very few people climb, people feel disheartened, I don’t want to come here if there is a temple just small steps, easily people can climb sometimes for people to give up a particular understanding and take up another understanding that will be like a big leap for them, they can’t do it at that time so then we have to create some alternative for them I have some small steps forward it’s not that our either it is necessary or is it possible that we can counter people’s misconceptions in the first go or even in a few meetings what we need to do is we need to help them develop faith and once we have developed faith then gradually so it’s like bridge building so if they are on a, it’s like a mountain peak they have certain conceptions right now we are on another mountain peak we have an understanding based on scripture so in between now we have to get them from there to here so we build a bridge build a bridge means we speak in a way, conduct ourselves in a way that they start developing some appreciations that’s an intelligent person, nice person I would like to know them more that they start crossing the bridge now once they have crossed the bridge and come to this mountain then you can break the bridge that means you know now they have come then you can challenge their misconception but if they just put their first step on the bridge and then you break the bridge what will happen hey they will just go back they will say you people are so fanatical I don’t want to come here or worst is when they are half way on the bridge and then we break you know or say somebody is worshipping some devta somebody is worshipping some other spiritual following some other spiritual teacher this is bad, this is bad, this is bad whatever we have to speak, we speak all that and what happens in this this whole thing is so confusing people talk about this god, that god I don’t want to be in this business only, just forget it they become atheistic at least they were pious earlier now they have become atheistic so we did not do any service we actually did a disservice to them so if we keep our goal that we want to help people come closer to Krishna then we will speak appropriately according to their level now all this is not to say that we should not speak strongly but we should be able to understand what strong speak means strong speaking is not just speaking in a way that involves some harsh words or judgmental words strong speaking is that speaking which strongly transforms people so now in some emergency situations sometimes a doctor may do a surgery without any of the preliminaries there is a war field where there are many soldiers who are wounded now there is no time for seeking consent, there is no time even to give anesthesia doctor may do surgery at that time without any of the preliminaries but that is not the standard practice and that is not what everybody needs to do so there are times when Prabhupada, he was very for a very short time with us and Prabhupada did at times use strong words like fools and rascals so Prabhupada was in a sense doing surgery without anesthesia but if we, I did once I have an elaborate article on this topic I did a study of Prabhupada’s books you know so Prabhupada uses the word, strong word like fools and rascals mostly in his conversations which were with his disciples people who have already accepted his authority and it’s a closed circle of people who are talking with him so something like say Prabhupada may use the word fools and rascals maybe something like 700 times I don’t remember the exact figure, I have that in my article in his conversations but in his books he uses it barely 50 times and especially in those which he wrote as books to be published, some of his books are or articles which are compiled together as books like Bhagavatam, C.C., Bhagavad Gita N.O.D. those are books which he wrote, it’s not even 20 times so Prabhupada had a very calibrated approach so for those it was a closed circle where people had already accepted his authority and they had already crossed over the bridge and Prabhupada wanted to break the bridge so at that time he spoke those things so Prabhupada also said that I can do this because he had the advantage of age, he had the advantage of compassion, he had the advantage of of of his purity of intention when we speak strongly what happens is words that come from the heart touch the heart words that come from the ego trigger the ego so when we speak how much is it really oh this person is suffering because of the misconception and I want them to be free from suffering or how much is it you know this person is wrong and I am going to prove how he is wrong how they are wrong, we really don’t know so it’s best to err on the side of caution Prabhupada had that capacity he could just he had the power that he could get people to take that high leap, that high jump and go up three feet in one go but for us we may not have that so again we shouldn’t become judgmental of others if they are doing that somebody would feel inspired to speak strongly, it’s up to them but we have to see whether whether the effect is there or not the point is not strong preaching or soft preaching, the point is effective preaching, effective preaching means the effect is we want to get people to come closer to Krishna so how best can we help people come closer to Krishna that we have to see based on our situation and the results and then we help people to come closer, sounds like a question so thank you very much, Prabhupada