If we live in a complicated environment that requires us to be duplicitous, how can we prevent duplicity from becoming our habit
Question: If we live in a complicated environment that requires us to be duplicitous, how can we prevent duplicity from becoming our habit
Answer:
Words shape perception. Duplicity carries a strongly negative connotation—I’d avoid it. What some might call “duplicity” often falls into two more nuanced categories:
- Culture – It’s basic civility to restrain emotions when appropriate. For example, feeling anger toward an elder but choosing not to yell isn’t hypocrisy; it’s respect.
- Pragmatism – Sometimes, to achieve a greater good, we must engage diplomatically. Sanatana Goswami spoke strategically to the jailer to secure his release and continue serving Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. This wasn’t deceit but skillful means for a higher purpose.
Can Diplomacy Become a Harmful Habit?
Yes, if unchecked. However, nature equips humans with the ability to regulate emotions—a vital skill for maintaining relationships. If our minds’ raw thoughts were visible, even cherished bonds would crumble. The key is balance:
Three Safeguards Against Negative Drift
- Clarity of Purpose
- Anchor actions in service to Krishna or a noble aim.
- Example: Learning technology during lockdowns to continue preaching, despite discomfort.
- Spaces for Authenticity
- Cultivate relationships where candor is possible. Even a few such connections prevent inner corrosion.
- Like a lotus shedding water, let diplomacy “slide off” without staining your heart.
- Accountability Mechanisms
- A trusted friend who can warn, “You’re crossing a line here,” or
- Journaling to reflect: “Was this action aligned with my values?”
Diplomacy vs. Duplicity
- Diplomacy = Adjusting communication for a higher goal.
- Duplicity = Manipulating others for selfish ends.
Devotees may employ the first but must reject the second. By combining purpose, authenticity, and introspection, we navigate complexity without compromising integrity.
Transcript
This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
question if we live in a complicated environment where some amount of duplicity is necessary for us to even be able to do our service then over time won’t that become a habit that will lead us down an unhealthy track answer words matter and which words we use to describe our actions will shape our conceptions also duplicity is a strongly negative word and i would prefer to avoid that to some extent it’s just a matter of basic human culture that we don’t always express our emotions we won’t be angry with somebody maybe somebody who’s elder to who’s an elder but we won’t if we are well cultured we won’t speak loudly with them you won’t yell at them that’s basic culture so is that duplicity i’m feeling angry but still being polite and deferential no that’s culture so we may need to get some things done and there’s a person of influence over somewhere and for that person of influence we with that person of influence we may have to speak some things that we may not honestly feel now is that duplicity again now in that case we may say it’s not culture it’s pragmatism practically when something needs to be done something is for a good cause then we see sanatana goswami speaking to the jailer whatever was necessary so that he could get out of the jail and he could thereby grow thereby go ahead and serve lord chaitanya in his mission and for that he was a for that he was ready to do what it took so it could be on a positive side it could be culture that’s something which is desirable so that we don’t become uncultured or uncivilized in our dealings or even if it if it’s not culture and the better word would be diplomacy rather than duplicity so now is there a possibility that can become a habit so yes there is that possibility and in fact we could say nature has given us humans the capacity to restrain our emotions to not let every single one of our emotions become evident on our faces and that capacity is vital for our survival without it we can’t we don’t need to sustain any relationship for that matter the kind of thoughts desires emotions we get about people including people who we normally are very close to whom we love still our mind goes wild and if others could see the kind of thoughts emotions desires we had all relationships would crumble so simplicity when you want to cultivate it simplicity is in purpose is intention that we want to serve krishna and do good to others do good for others so now when we work with that attitude if it’s a complicated world that we live in then we have to deal with the complicated world some devotees are not so comfortable with technology but if they especially in something like a lockdown when they have to want to serve krishna they do need to learn technology that’s complicatedness that that might they might find complicated but they have to do it that at least at some basic level so that they can serve krishna accordingly if the majority of our interactions are not based on duplicity if we have places where we at least some places at least some relationships where we can express our heart where we can be candid where even in our own eyes in terms of our the values that we hold sacred we can be we can be honest we can be candid we can be authentic then we will be able to move ahead in our life without being affected and occasionally we speak in ways that are different that is if we okay if with certain people in certain contexts we need to be diplomatic then that doesn’t necessarily have to affect our heart just like padma patram imam bhaja krishna says just as water falls off our lotus doesn’t get attached to it because the lotus itself is designed in such a way to let water slip away similarly we will let things slip away without becoming fixated on them so three things i would say first is being clear of our purpose but if we know okay for this purpose i am speaking like this with this person if in general if you are conscious and purposeful then that helps us a lot in preventing unconscious and default actions that may not be according to the values we hold sacred second is that we have association where we have we have places where we can be authentic where we can speak our heart if those are the majority interactions that’s great even if they’re not majority even if there are few places where we can be authentic that also is helpful um and beyond that if we can go ahead and be thirdly i would say that if we have some very close friend with whom we can share the particular thing that we did and then they can keep track on us now this is where you’re going too far um the third might be difficult but if we have one that will that helps or we could even use journaling to keep track of the incidents when we do such things and then we will be able to evaluate hey that was the time when i did this and that was proper that is the time when i did that and that was not proper so therefore it’s important for me to not let not get carried away so any behavior that we know may go in an unhealthy direction can be checked now checked means they can have two meanings evaluate and regulate i checked this means i evaluated it i checked the baby from going near the fire that means it’s regulated stopped so having a check system of checking is also helpful so being purposeful being authentic at least with some people and being being introspective through something like journaling to have self self checks if we can’t have checks in with a accountability partner that can protect that diplomatic behavior from becoming from gravitating toward a habitual default which may then become duplicitous because we then not only do we are not purposeful for a particular positive purpose for services but we just do it because it’s convenient for fulfilling whatever ulterior motives we may also have so so duplicit diplomacy is we have a noble aim and sometimes we have to speak certain things to make sure that that noble purpose is served duplicity usually refers to where you have a ulterior aim and then we use questionable means to fulfill those ulterior aims as devotees if need be we can be diplomatic