If we tolerate the spikes of desires, won’t those repressed desires return more forcefully in future?

Answer Podcast

Transcript

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If we tolerate the spikes, then isn’t it like suppressing them and won’t they come with greater force? And then maybe these desires will come at the time of death also and they may cause us to take another birth.
Yes, that’s possible. See, we all are pleasure seeking creatures. We cannot live without happiness.
That is for sure. We cannot live without happiness. Now the question is where do we find happiness? Prabhupada says we are not meant to kill desires.
We are meant to cure desires. Cure desires means we want to have healthy desires. Healthy desires are the desire to find happiness in things connected with Krishna.
So if we find that there are certain desires which are very strong and they keep coming again and again, then it is that if we keep resisting it, is it suppression? If we are not seeking and finding happiness somewhere else, then that is suppression. See, if we are able to find happiness somewhere else, then that is not suppression, that is redirection. Suppression means there is a longing for happiness and I’m just not giving an event for it.
All that I’m doing here is that I’m refusing one particular event for that longing, but I’m offering it some other event. And when we offer it some other event, when we find happiness elsewhere, then that craving goes away. Then that craving is no longer suppression.
So now that is why it is, that’s why what is called about is regulation. Regulation means now there are different kinds of desires and different desires have to be dealt in different ways. Some desires have to be entirely given up.
Some desires can be regulated. So some desires are very wrong, we give them up completely. Some desires are meant to be regulated.
And regulations can also be at different levels, at different stages of spiritual advancement. So it’s not that all desires can be entirely eliminated right now. There is a progression and we have to be realistic about how I can give up the desires.
And we may consult subsequent devotees, we may look at our own life and plan and then deal with the whole process. So suppression can lead to the desires coming back stronger. And then we have to, if we are redirecting the desires, that will not happen so much.
And if we find that a particular desire is very strong, then that desire can also be fulfilled, but in a regulated way. So it is not that the desire will come only when we don’t indulge in it. Actually, even when we indulge also the desire comes back, isn’t it? Actually when we indulge, it is not that the desire goes away.
In fact what happens is when we indulge, that is like the Shastra says, jātukāma-kāmāna-bhogena-śaṅyati haviṣyā-kṛṣṇa-vartmeva bhūya evābhidarbhate that when we indulge in desires, it is like putting fuel in fire, the desire will grow further. But there is a difference. The difference is when there is regulated indulgence, then at time what happens is there is the practice of bhakti going on, there is a practice of dharma going on and that dharma purifies us.
So we shouldn’t think that only if I don’t indulge the desire will come back. Even if I indulge the desire is going to come back. So the dealing with the desire is not based primarily whether I am satisfying the desire or I am repressing the desire.
The dealing with the desire is primarily determined by how I am turning towards Krishna and finding higher happiness. And finding higher happiness is the way to deal with problems. There was a psychologist, he is considered father of modern psychology, Sigmund Freud.
And he had this whole theory that most of the problems that people have, they are because their sexual desires are repressed. And he said therefore people should just express their sexuality. And this whole culture of free sex that has come in the modern society, we sometimes say this is western culture.
But actually this is not even western culture 100 years ago. Even the west was fairly regulated. But it was Sigmund Freud’s idea that led to this whole idea that our problems are because of sexual repression.
But then we see, yes, if people don’t have any way to find happiness and they are repressed, then that repression can cause problems. But it’s not that repression alone causes problems. You know, expression also causes problems.
Isn’t it? So we see that this whole culture of free sex has led to so many marriages breaking down, so many abortions happening, so many single mothers, so much family breakdown, so many children growing in, broken families. It’s created all kinds of problems on its own. So it is not that repression causes problem and expression is the solution to the problems.
Or it is not that expression is the solution to the problem. Neither way. This real solution is redirection.
And while doing redirection, how we deal with that desire, that will depend on us. So some people may try to regulate their desire. Some people may try to avoid that desire.
And some people may regulate at different levels at different times in the spiritual life. So it’s like our consciousness should not be focused on fighting with the desire. Our consciousness has to be focused on connecting with Krishna.
Because as soon as I’m thinking of fighting the desire, I’m already in material consciousness. Because I’m conscious of the desire. This is the desire I have to fight.
That means I’m conscious of the desire and I’m in material consciousness. I have to raise my consciousness to Krishna. So our focus should not be on fighting desire.
Our focus should be on connecting with Krishna. And the more we connect with Krishna, then the desire automatically will be dealt with at an appropriate level. Does it answer the question? Any other questions? Yes.