In difficult relationships at what point should we stop tolerating?

Transcript

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If we keep tolerating, we will get it.
We have to see, serving Krishna means, say for example, if they are giving a class, if there is a class going on, and now there is some noise, say upstairs there is a noise, then we tell them to leave, or we shift the venue of the class. So, if we keep our purpose clear, for my service to Krishna, this is troublesome, but the purpose is what gives us the perspective of when to tolerate and when to mitigate or emigrate. So, seeing things in the light of the purpose.
Prabhupada writes in the 10th chapter, there he says that intelligence means to see things in their proper perspective. Intelligence means to see things in their proper perspective. So, we could say tolerance means to keep small things small, so that we can focus on big things.
Like yesterday I gave the example, somebody is pushing us from our corner, then we just move somewhere aside and let that person have that space. But that person pushes us out of the local itself, then, no. So, keep small things small.
But they are being pushed out of the local, that’s a big thing. So, we can’t tolerate that. So, if we are doing service with a particular devotee or in a particular department and we find this is going wrong, that is going wrong.
Do we just continue our service and let other things just go on or do we have a responsibility to report to some higher authority that this is, all these things are going wrong. This, to some extent will depend on some people can just do their own thing and not bother about other things. Some people just officially having that service but it’s not.
So, then we may report and if that helps, then we don’t have to we don’t have to lock ourselves into, we can decide that I am going to serve Krishna and okay, at this stage maybe for this is difficult for me but let me wait and watch, maybe for the next I’ll wait and watch, I’ll tolerate it. And let’s see if things improve. If I decide that things are not improving, things are only worsening, that the more I tolerate, the more I am getting exploited only.
Then, I might, so we may, we may have to make a change over there. So, basically, I would say that we have to make sure that our body and mind are stay conducive for our service to Krishna. How much we will tolerate? That the body and mind do not become become become so troubled that it obstructs our service to Krishna.
Another simple example, say we are in a class and there are only a few chairs, we need a chair to sit on but there is no chair. So, we decide I’ll sit on the floor. Now, there is a little inconvenience, we can manage that.
But, if it’s causing, we may go out of the way. I know one devotee in UK and that devotee comes to the temple, the devotee has got severe back problems. The devotee comes to the temple with their own chair and the temple is actually on the first floor, so when they come to the temple, they have some you know, for that devotee, the pain is so much, so that’s what is required is what is required.
So, so, just as with respect to the body, we understand. So, everybody sitting on the floor, why do you need the chair? No, I need it. So, similarly just as we understand the physical is real, the mental also is real.
So, if a particular situation is agitating me too much. Now, somebody else in that situation may not be agitated but I am agitated. Then, if I am agitated, then I have to, I have a responsibility just as I have my responsibility to ensure that my body is not too much in pain.
I want to serve Krishna and if the body is too much in pain, I can’t serve Krishna. Similarly, I have a responsibility to make sure that my mind is not in too much pain. So, if the mind is in too much pain, then I have to make some adjustment, so that the pain goes down, so that I can serve Krishna.
Now, we could also go to the other extreme. We can say, hey, you got a chair here, but the chair has no cushion on the back. The chair has no cushion also.
Now, we can’t be demanding comforts. That is basic facility that is required. There is something necessary, something that is comfort.
So, there may be some discomfort, physical level, we tolerate it. But something which is a terrible pain, unbearable pain, we can’t, we don’t have to tolerate it. The same way, some people, it’s a little uncomfortable dealing with them.
Okay, we will deal with it. We will live with it. It’s like unbearable pain.
I don’t know what to do. Oscar Wilde, the British thinker, he said that some people bring happiness wherever they go and some people bring happiness whenever they go. As soon as a person comes, the whole place has become like a minefield.
Now, what we do will cause boom, explosion from them, we don’t know. So, then it’s difficult to work with them. So, we have to, I would say, the limit of tolerance is that our body and mind should not be in such unbearable pain that that becomes not just a distraction from our service to Krishna but that becomes an obstructor to our service to Krishna.
So, just as physical pain is real and we will address it, similarly, mental pain is also real in the sense that it really can distract or obstruct us and it needs to be dealt with.