Increasing willpower – by increasing the distance between us and our feelings, and our feeling and our actions

[Congregation program at Melbourne, Australia]

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Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
oh shatri Deshitarine wancha Kalpataru, Vatsya, Upasindhu, Bhaya, Rivacha, Patitaana, Pavanibhyo, Vaishnavibhyo, Namo Namaha, Jai Shri Krishna Chaitanya, Prabhu Nityananda, Shri Advaita Gadadhara, Shri Vasadhi Gaurabhatta Bunda, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Hare Hare Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Hare Hare Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Hare Hare willpower Now I will try to analyse willpower in terms of the Bhagavad Gita’s model of the self. The Bhagavad Gita explains that our self is a three level existence.
The body, the mind and the soul. The body, the mind and the soul. These are like in a computer system you have a hardware, software and user.
The hardware is the body, software is the mind and the user is the soul. So, what we want to do is say what is coming from the soul, that is the intention. So, the intention comes from the soul, the action is done at the level of the body.
And the action is to be done at the level of the body, in between is the mind. And the mind is the seat of emotions. So, sometimes our emotions work for us and sometimes our emotions work against us.
Something which is important for us, we have decided to do it. Sometimes we feel like doing it and sometimes we don’t feel like doing it. We feel like just giving it up entirely.
So, between our intention which is coming from the soul and the action which is meant to be done at the level of the body is the emotion of the mind. This emotion can work favourably and can work unfavourably. So, when our will power is weak, at that time this emotion is working against us.
And when the emotion works against us, at that time we often give up our intention. So, where does this emotion in the mind come from? And why does it work against us? So, going back to the example of the software. The mind is like the software.
Say, suppose somebody has regularly visited some website. Say, they visited Bollywood.com. They want to know something about movies. And then they come for a spiritual programme and they hear about the Bhagavad Gita.
And they go to their browser and they want to know something about Bhagavad Gita. They type B. And what happens? Bollywood comes immediately. So, what has happened over here? The browser, the software in it has stored the past preferences.
And because those past preferences are stored, they come as default propositions. And when they come as default propositions, unless we consciously say no, Bollywood becomes autocomplete and I have to type something else, then the Bhagavad Gita will come. But otherwise, by default, Bollywood will come.
So, similarly for us, based on the way we have lived in the past, the way we have thought, the kind of emotions we have felt, based on that, certain emotions automatically come within us. So, those emotions are like the autocompletes which come on the browser. And sometimes the autocomplete may take us where we want to go.
Say, if we have visited Bhagavad Gita many times in the past, I type B, immediately Bhagavad Gita comes. So, like that, there are some things which we intend to do, which are good for us, we like it also. Some of us may like music.
And when we want to practise music, at that time, oh, I start feeling so good about music. So, in some cases, the autocomplete may work for us. In some cases, it may work against us.
So, basically, the intention, the emotion and the action. These three are the components for us to implement our resolutions. Whatever willpower we want, that means, from the stage of intention to the stage of action.
So, how do we move forward? So, if I take a metaphor of an aeroplane. An aeroplane takes off from one point, flies through the air and then lands at the destination. So, we could say our intention is at the take-off point.
And the action that we want to do, that is at the landing point. So, from the intention to the destination, from the take-off to the landing, in between, sometimes something goes wrong. So, the plane crashes along the way.
So, our resolutions crash. Now, why do the resolutions crash? Because, just like when a plane is moving through the air, if the plane runs out of fuel, then no matter how expert the driver may be, the pilot’s expertise will not matter much if the fuel is not there. So, just the intention of the pilot or the expertise of the pilot won’t get there if the fuel is not there.
For us, similarly, the fuel that will take us along, that sometimes falls short. So, usually, some people say, I have weak willpower. And some people hear about, some people are great achievers in their life.
They have strong willpower. So, now, is it that we are born with a certain level of willpower? Some people have a lot and some people have less. It may be that we all have different levels of willpower.
But, willpower is not some mystical gift that some people have and some people don’t have. Every one of us can develop it. It’s like, anybody can fuel their plane adequately and then the plane will fly.
Of course, it could be that some planes themselves have limited capacity. So, if the fuel capacity of the plane itself is limited, then it can cover 500 miles. And if you embark on a journey of 1000 miles, no matter how much fuel we put in, it will not be enough.
Then, in that case, the plane has to land, refuel and then again start after that. So, similarly, for us, with respect to our resolutions, whatever we make. Krishna talks about determination in the three modes of material nature.
He talks about goodness, passion and ignorance. And, so, we could say, determination is simply another word for willpower. Determination means, this is what I want to do.
Now, I will be using these two metaphors, the browser window and the fuel, throughout the talk. Now, going back to the browser window metaphor. So, first, the title of the talk is that increasing the distance between us and our emotions and our emotions and our actions.
So, that means, that sometimes, I am here, I want to do this. But, we fuse with our emotions. Fuse means, we identify with our emotions.
I don’t feel like doing it. Let me give it up. So, sometimes when students study for exam, they feel like studying.
But after some time, they just don’t feel like studying. So, now, when the feelings come within us, at that time, if there is a greater distance between us and them, what does that greater distance mean? That simply means that we are attentive to observe the feelings. Say, if I open my computer and I type B. Now, if I am not very attentive, I type B, I think Bhagavad Gita will come.
But actually, Bollywood has come. And then I find that the browser has gone somewhere else, apart from where I intended to go. So, now, if I am not very attentive to where the browser is going, actually, I just type B, Bollywood.com, and I start watching over there, whatever is going on.
And then I may not notice that I got misdirected. So, similarly, our mind will bring some default ideas, default emotion, default thoughts, based on whatever we have done in the past. If we identify with them, then we will get carried away by them.
But if we understand that the emotions that I am feeling, they are not necessarily my emotions. That means, yes, there are emotions coming inside me, but they are not the emotions I want. They are not the emotions I want to experience or cultivate.
So, if I understand that, then I can evaluate them. In the Ramayana, when Ram is banished to the forest, at that time, Lakshman goes with him. And sometimes in Hindi movies, you have this angry young man.
So, Lakshman is like that. He is very angry. He says, how dare Ram be, Ram be, subject to such injustice.
And finally, when Bharat comes to the Chitrakoot forest, Chitrakoota, Dhrinike, Tanna Rama. So, he comes to meet Ram and he comes with a full army. Because he feels, I am a younger brother, he may not listen to me.
But if I get the army, if I get the courtiers, if I get the queens, if I get the priests, then all of us together may have a chance of changing Ram’s mind. But when Lakshman sees that, first they are sitting there in the forest, suddenly they hear a large sound. Now, forest is a place of danger.
So, that’s why they are always very alert. So, they hear some large sound, what is this? Is it some beast of prey like a lion or tiger? But it is not just one sound, there are many sounds coming. So, many sounds were coming.
Ram, Lakshman and Lakshman immediately climbed up a tall tree. And from that tree he started looking down. And he saw a huge army coming.
And he looked and saw, this is the Ayodhya army. And he saw the royal elephant of Ayodhya, Shatrunjaya there. And he saw Bharat at the head.
And the army was coming with weapons. So, now normally, sometimes when say visiting head of state from say India goes to America, or from America comes to India or Australia goes to India, then there is a royal guard of honour. So, at that time all the soldiers are equipped with their weapons.
But nobody is going to shoot over there. But for somebody who is simply observing from a distance, they don’t know the intention. So, if somebody is coming with full weapons, it may appear they are coming to fight.
So, Bharat had got the whole army with weapons as a guard of honour. Now, the whole army is here for you. Please come back.
But, when Lakshman observed, as he observed this, suddenly anger burst within him. And he came down from the tree and said, that wicked son of the wicked mother, he said, he is not satisfied after conspiring with his mother. Who is the mother? Kaikeyi.
Kaikeyi has sent you to the forest, he is not satisfied with that. Now, he has come with the whole army to kill you. So, here what happened? In Lakshman’s mind, there is an auto-conflict.
He saw the army, and he saw the army, it could be as a guard of honour, it could be for aggression. But because he already had that anger, he already had that resentment, so what happened? Anger. Anger.
They have come to attack. And he started going off on a heavy rank. He said, that Bharat, he has come to kill you, but he doesn’t know that I will stand by you.
And whoever tries to kill you, they will go to death’s abode today. At the hands of my arrows. And Ram, she is very cool.
Ram is not out to disturb. Ram has with great stoicism, accepted what has happened. So, we could say, in Ram’s mind, he knows Bharat loves me.
So, as soon as Bharat is coming, following the auto-conflict, Bharat must have come to persuade me to come back. So, he says, Oh, Lakshman, Bharat’s love for me is no less than your love for me. I am sure he has come here just to invite me to come back to the kingdom.
To request me to come back. He says, why are you so upset with him? Has he offended you in any way? If he has, he is after all your brother. Forgive him.
Or, is it that, in a rush of emotions, you decided to come with me to the forest. But now, seeing the austerity of forest life, you are finding it very unpalatable. And that has made you irritable.
If that is the case, when Bharat comes, I will tell him to stay in the forest in your place and you can enjoy the kingdom. When Ram speaks like this, Bharat feels so impressed. And finally, Bharat comes and he begs Ram, please take the kingdom.
Normally, if in a family a patriarch passes away, then the successors, the children often fight with each other. They fight, I want the kingdom, I want the kingdom. Here, there is a succession battle.
But the succession battle was, you take the kingdom, you take the kingdom. And finally, Bharat said, please give me your padukas. Please give me your footwear and I will take it with me.
Today, if two brothers are fighting, and if one brother gives the footwear to another, the other brother will take the footwear and beat the brother. So, what happened was, seeing Bharat’s selflessness, increased Lakshman’s embarrassment even more. And then finally, Lakshman, when Lakshman approached Ram, and he said to Ram, why do you get angry so quickly? The younger brother, he feels so embarrassed by the way he suspected and wanted to attack Bharat, he said, why do you get angry so quickly? And then, Ram pats him on the back, and he says, actually, you are sentimental.
So then, Bharatas, are sentiments bad? Ram says, no, sentiments are not bad. Sentiments are the ornaments of life. But, we need to select those sentiments that take us towards dharma and avoid those sentiments that take us away from dharma.
So that means, emotions are something which come within us and we have to select the right emotions. And for selecting, there has to be a distance. If the emotion comes and I accept the emotion, okay, I am feeling angry, and I become angry.
Then, there is no selection over there. So we have to increase the distance. The distance between us and our emotions.
To the extent we can increase the distance by understanding that I am not my emotions. My emotions, whatever they come, it’s not that we have to reject the emotions, it’s not that we have to suppress the emotions, but it is that we have to evaluate the emotions. And Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita, in the 14th chapter, He says that these different emotions will come within us and observe them.
As if detached, observe the emotions. And how can you be detached? By situating yourself at the level of the soul. So to the extent I understand that I am the soul, I am different from these emotions.
Emotions are coming, but I am different from them. I am going to evaluate these emotions in merit and then act. So that is possible when we have some stronger foundation or a stronger purpose than the emotions.
Say for example, we just come and sit on our computer and then we surf the net wanting to find something entertaining. Then, okay, let me look at this website, let me look at that YouTube video, let me look at this social media. I might as well go anywhere.
But if I come to the computer because I want to read a particular article about something. And when I am going there at that time, something pops up. Okay, right now, I want to do this.
Maybe I will look at this later. This is not important, this is a pop-up advertisement, I am not interested in it. So, you know, we can say no to something much more easily How can I say, okay, I can do this, I can do this.
The mood of service makes us sure that we won’t get carried away by the emotions. Otherwise, whatever emotion comes, we get carried away. All of us have the capacity to distance ourselves from our emotions.
Example can be given as say, suppose a cricket match is going on. Now, in the cricket match, say, the bowling team is bowler bowls and then all the fielders appeal. How’s that? Now, when the fielders appeal, at that time, the umpire, what is the umpire’s role? Umpire has to evaluate.
Appeal based on merit. The umpire cannot just decide based on volume. Isn’t it? Just because they are appealing loudly, must be out.
No, then the players will just start appealing more and more loudly and then even if they are not out, they will get out. They will be declared out. The umpire has to, umpire cannot neglect the appeal of the players.
The players are appealing, the umpire has to respond. But the umpire has to respond based on merit of the appeal. So, there is udaseena vadaseena Krishna says, be situated as if detached.
So, as if detached means, in English there are two words, there is uninterested and disinterested. So, disinterested means impartial. That person has no partiality in it.
And uninterested means having no interest at all. So, the umpire needs to be what? Disinterested or uninterested? Disinterested. Isn’t it? So, all the players appeal and the umpire says, I was not watching you all.
What were you doing then? Obviously, we are in the field, you have to watch. So, similarly, we as souls are inside and our emotions are like the appealing players. How’s that? I want to do this.
Do that. So, when they appeal, we have to be like the umpire. And the umpire evaluates not just by, based on how strong a player is appealing.
I just think very strongly, I feel very angry, therefore I’ll act. I’ll shout at him. Okay.
I’m feeling angry. Acknowledge that I’m angry. The players are appealing.
But we evaluate based on merit. Evaluation based on merit means? Is this my emotion? If I want to, is this emotion justified? I’m feeling angry with this person. But is what this person has done really worth my becoming angry about? Sometimes what happens? We tell someone, Can you just pick up this trash? Put it outside.
And then suddenly they explode. And then I start going on. What happened? What happened? Usually, what happens? There’s a cause of our anger and there’s a trigger for our anger.
And the two are different. Suppose somebody had said they had had a difficult day and 10 things have gone wrong in that day. And all of them have accumulated to create irritation within them.
So all of those are the causes. But then our last request is the trigger. And then the anger that has accumulated from all the past 10 comes out here.
So if we are not objective, then what happens? The anger which you are feeling, we can’t deny it. Yes, I am feeling angry. But when I distance myself from it, I can evaluate.
Do I need to express it here? Or is there some other constructive way by which I can channel this? It has to be processed. So to the extent we study the Bhagavad Gita and realise that I am the Atma and we focus on the service of Krishna, the mood of service to Krishna, and to that extent, there’s a distance created between ourselves and our emotions. It says, if the player starts appealing, how’s that? And the umpire comes from the umpire’s position out and his umpire goes, how’s that? No, the umpire is not meant to appeal.
The umpire is meant to decide. So what happens? Sometimes we forget that I am the Atma. And we just get carried away with the emotions.
So we need to evaluate our emotions. Now, we say, no, no, it’s not possible. I am such a short-tempered person.
I can’t evaluate. I get angry. Yes, we may feel like that.
But actually, all of us have the capacity to regulate our emotions. Now, here there are three things. I said, increasing the distance between us and our emotions and increasing the distance between our emotions and our actions.
So increasing the distance between our emotions and our actions means that just because I am feeling in a particular way does not mean that I have to necessarily act in that way. That means that we all have the capacity to discipline our emotions. See, all of us, we can only see each other’s faces and we can maybe read their body language.
We cannot look into each other’s minds. And not being able to look into each other’s minds is a great blessing. If we could start seeing everybody’s mind, you think like this about me.
You have this kind of thoughts. Not a single relationship could be sustained. Because our mind goes wild at times.
But nature has provided us that buffer. That even if my mind goes wild, we have the capacity to not act on our emotions. So we can control our emotions.
And sometimes emotions come, they stay for some time, then they go away. So there is a natural distance between our emotions and our actions. And we are not talking here about suppressing the emotions.
So, I am talking on the topic of willpower. And I said, sometimes our emotions come in the way of our willpower. We want to do something.
That’s our intention. But then the emotions come in the way and we are unable to do it. So when that happens, we try to distance ourselves from the emotions.
And distance our emotions from our actions. Distance our emotions from our actions means that, like I said, whatever we may be feeling, we don’t always express that. We have the capacity to restrain, discipline our emotions.
So going to that example of anger. Somebody may say, I am a very short tempered person. I just explode at people.
Okay. You may be exploding at people. But suppose somebody is working in an office.
And their boss gets angry with them. How many people are going to shout at their boss? It’s very rare. If I shout at my boss, then the boss will say, get out.
And then, I may not have any food to shout at anyone afterwards. So, even if I get angry, we all have the capacity to restrain our anger. So, at that time, what is happening? The anger is coming.
Why is the boss shouting at me, demanding like this from me, or saying like this to me, or burdening me with so much work, or whatever it may be. It is made as angering. The emotion is there.
But, because, there is something more important for us. It is our livelihood that is at stake. So, when the livelihood is at stake, that bigger thing in our consciousness, that makes sure that the emotion doesn’t come out as action.
So, there can be a distance between our emotion and our action. By which, even though, we may feel angry, or we may feel in a particular way, we can ensure that it doesn’t express itself. So, in the Bhagavad Gita also, Krishna talks about this.
He says, don’t become elated, don’t become delighted, don’t jump up and down, when you get something good. And when you get something bad, don’t become dejected. So, it’s interesting, when Krishna is saying, is he telling become unemotional? No.
Because, he is already acknowledging, that sometimes you may get something good, and sometimes you may get something bad. That means, there is an acknowledgement that there are good things and bad things. So, what Krishna is saying is, yes, the emotion is there, this is so wonderful.
And this is so terrible. The emotion will come, but Krishna is saying, don’t get carried away by that emotion. So, we can create a distance between our emotions and our actions.
That means, no matter how we feel, we can choose to act in the proper way. And in fact, that is the whole process of taking up responsibility or developing maturity. For children, as soon as a particular emotion comes, immediately the action comes.
Children feel bad, they start crying. If an adult starts crying at every small thing, then, we will say, grow up. So, the emotions will come, and life may sometimes treat us all also in a bad way.
And naturally we feel bad. But as we grow up, we learn to deal with our emotions better. So, when we deal with our emotions better, at that time, the emotions come, but we learn to restrain them.
And, this becomes easier, that restraining our emotions becomes easier when we have some habit or some standard activities to do. Say for example, we feel very upset because somebody has said something to us. We feel very angry, we feel very hurt.
But then immediately, we have some important meeting. Say, we are doing some very important work. And then the mind doesn’t get the time to think about it.
Because we have to do this, do this, do this. So, basically, if there is something at the physical level which requires our attention, then what has happened at the emotional level, the emotion that has come, we can take our attention away from that. Say, suppose, we have had a quarrel with someone and then we are driving a car.
Now, if the road is very clear, then the mind will become very unclear. How could they have spoken like this, this, this, this, this? Because when we are driving on a straight road, clear road, the physical activity does not require much attention. So then, what happens? We are here, the physical reality is here, the mind is here.
So then, because the physical reality is not very interesting or demanding, so we are fully available for the mind. And the mind makes our life miserable. But, if the physical reality requires a mere attention, say, if we are driving through a crowded road, this vehicle is coming from there, this is coming from here, then, we are forced to pay attention over there.
So similarly, when these unwanted emotions are coming, at that time, if we just get into the physical action that requires some attention, then the emotions can be sidelined. They will be there and they will need to be processed appropriately. But at that time, if we can just get into some action, that’s why, developing a habit or having a routine helps.
Because once a habit or a routine is there, then we start doing it no matter how we feel about it. So that means, increasing the distance between our emotions and our actions means that we start doing the action, the right thing, even if we don’t feel like doing it. Say, a mother has worked very hard throughout the day and she is sleeping at night and suddenly the baby starts crying.
Now when the baby starts crying, it is not that the mother at that time feels great affection for the child, Oh, my child is crying. Mother wakes up. When she wakes up and starts taking care of the child, initially, we don’t feel like waking up at all.
But then you start taking care of the child, start reciprocating affection, fondling the child, then what happens? The negative emotion starts going away. The tiredness starts going down. So quite often, we think that I should feel my way to actions.
Our willpower, I talked about the second metaphor, I talked about the fuel. The fuel runs out and the plane crashes. So we often think, I should feel my way to actions.
That means the feeling should come first and then the actions will come. I don’t feel like doing it, so why should I do it? But very often, it is not that we have to feel our way to actions, we have to act our way to the feelings. Not feel our way to the actions, but act our way to the feelings.
That means when we start doing the actions, the appropriate feelings start coming. So when you start doing the right action, we keep doing it steadily, gradually, the right feeling starts coming. The unwanted feeling that is there, it will start going away.
If we don’t act and wait for the right feeling to come, it may never come. There is a famous author, Nobel laureate author, he was asked, do you write everyday or do you write only when you are inspired? So he replied that, I write only when I am inspired and I make sure I am inspired every morning at 9 o’clock. So what does it mean? That means, basically act your way to the feelings.
Sometimes it may not feel like writing, but if a person has a passion for writing overall, start writing, and thoughts start flowing, this is good, we start moving forward. So this is, acting our way to feelings, is where we often, in today’s world, neglect. Because today’s culture is very feeling driven.
Whatever I feel like, I will do it. Whatever I don’t feel like, I will not do it. And this often reflects in very unstable, uncommitted relationships.
So there was a survey done by the Harvard Medical, by a group in Harvard, and they looked at the kids in American colleges, who had free relationships, with anyone and everyone. And the hope of this free sex revolution, the promise of that was, that you can have free love, you can have free relationships, you can have happiness, there is no restrictive family burdens, family responsibilities, that was the whole propaganda that was made at that time. But when they actually did this survey, they found that, most of these young boys and girls, all of them were feeling, they used to feel profoundly lonely, and profoundly guilty.
Lonely, because all of their bodies, came in contact with many other bodies, but their hearts were not touched. It was always superficial. And they all knew, that we are using someone to scratch our itch, and the other person is using me to scratch their itch.
So they are lonely and guilty. And there is no satisfaction that came from that. So in any relationship, when we have, well, the relationships are driven simply by feelings.
Then, at one moment, you feel attracted, after some time, you feel not attracted at all. And if we go by feelings, then there will be no stability at all. So there has to be commitment.
I was with a devotee in America, he is a marriage counsellor, and he was telling me that in all my experience, I have come across only two kinds of couples. He said, I asked, what are the two? He said, the couples who quarrel with each other, and the couples whom I don’t know very well. So, the point was that everybody has differences, sooner or later.
But when there is commitment, we don’t just get carried away by those differences, we don’t make it go under the emotions and break things apart. But rather, that higher purpose is what helps us to put the feelings aside. And when we have this ethos of acting our way to feelings, rather than simply feeling our way to actions.
Feeling our way to actions means, oh you know, this person feels so attracted, oh nice, I want to develop a relationship. And this person doesn’t feel attracted, forget it. But act our way to feelings means, we take up commitment, we take up responsibility.
And then when we act in a responsible way, gradually the right feelings come. So, and this, acting our way to the feelings, is actually the essence of sadhana bhakti. When we are practising bhakti yoga, right now, we are trying to develop our bhakti for Krishna.
So, in bhakti yoga, there are certain practises. We chant the holy names, we come to satsang, we worship, we do our puja at home. Now, sometimes we may feel like doing it, sometimes we may not feel like doing it.
But the whole process of sadhana bhakti is, that if we keep doing the actions, not mechanically, we want to have the bhakti for Krishna, but with that desire for the bhakti, even if the emotion is not there, we do the action, gradually by this the emotion will come. And, the more we connect with Krishna, through the practise of bhakti, that connection with Krishna, gives us a higher purpose. That gives us an inner strength, by which, whatever we are doing, in the external world, in our various roles, we will be able to do it more effectively.
Basically, we conclude with this point, and then we can have questions. That, we have horizontal relationships with the world, our family members, friends, colleagues, and we have a vertical relationship with Krishna. The horizontal relationship is, basically the world, we are situated in the world, it’s like we are in an ocean, with waves coming from different directions.
So, sometimes, our relationships, we get a lot of happiness, sometimes we get a lot of frustration. The waves may come stormily sometimes, sometimes the waves will be calm. But, if, somebody who is in the ocean, they just get tossed here, there and everywhere.
But if somebody, is in the ocean, but they are also connected with the helicopter, the helicopter is there to rescue them. They are right now in the ocean, but they are connected with the helicopter. Then even if the wave comes, the wave will toss them, but their connection with the helicopter will stabilise them.
They will get shaken, but again they will come back. So, similarly for us, our connection with Krishna, is like that stabilising connection. So, when that stabilising connection is there, the waves of our emotions will come and go.
Sometimes the emotions will be favourable, sometimes they will be unfavourable. But to the extent we are connected with Krishna, to that extent, the effect of the emotions on us will be lesser. That’s why I quoted that verse 5.20, नप् प्रहरिशेद् प्रियं प्राप्पे, नो दुजेद् प्राप्पे चाप्रियं Don’t get elated when you get good things.
Don’t get dejected when you get bad things. How can you do that? That’s Krishna’s second part. स्थिरबुद्धिर असम्मूदो, ब्रह्मवित ब्रह्मनिस्तिता, स्थिरबुद्धिर, Make your intelligence steady.
And what is the intelligence for? असम्मूदो, Don’t get deluded by the worldly things. ब्रह्मवित ब्रह्मनिस्तिता, Know yourself to be spiritual, and become not just spiritually knowledgeable, but become spiritually situated. To become spiritually situated means, to be situated in our relationship with Krishna.
To be situated in a mood of service to Krishna. When we become situated in that mood, whatever happens Krishna, I am your servant. And that, that attitude comes by the practise of साधना भक्ति.
When we start doing साधना भक्ति nicely, that vertical connection with Krishna develops. And when that vertical connection with Krishna develops, that stabilises us in all our horizontals. And thus, the capacity of our emotions to sweep us here and there, decreases.
And that’s how our willpower increases. If we connect ourselves with Krishna and practise भक्ति strongly, steadily, that will also require willpower. Somebody may say that, No, actually, you said to develop willpower, you should practise भक्ति.
But then I need willpower to practise भक्ति also. So how do I do that? Actually, to do anything in life, it requires willpower. Say, even if somebody wants to watch a cricket match, sometimes the time zones are different, the cricket match will be at night.
Hence, a cricket fan has to wake up at night to watch the cricket match. It also requires willpower. So, to do anything in life requires willpower.
But the difference between the willpower required for भक्ति and the willpower required for anything else is that, the willpower required for भक्ति has a permeating effect on the rest of our life. That means what? Say, if I have to lift 20 kg weight, it will require effort. But if I have got a lever, and on the lever, if I apply enough force required for 1 kg weight, but even by that 1 kg force, the 20 kg weight will be lifted.
So, force is required in either case. But in terms of proportion, for directly lifting a 20 kg weight, or operating a lever, the magnitude is much less. Similarly, we need willpower in all aspects of our life.
But whatever willpower we have, if we apply it to practise भक्ति, that is like applying the force on the lever, all other aspects of our life, the willpower from here will multiply and go there. Because what will happen? It’s like a wave is coming from here, and I fight against this wave, I don’t get tossed by that wave. But when the wave comes from there, again I fight against it.
I fight against that wave, again I keep fighting. I get exhausted after some time. But whatever strength I have, if I use it to hold on to the rope that is coming from the helicopter, then that also requires strength.
But by that strength, whichever wave comes, I will be able to resist it. So, instead of fighting against individual waves, specifically, we focus on the rope. And that will automatically help us to resist the waves.
So, whatever willpower we have, if we use it to practise भक्ति, to chant the holy names, to study śāstra, to come to satsang, and by this, we will get spiritual understanding, we will get spiritual experience, we will get spiritual strength. And by that, whatever emotions disruptively may be coming within us, which will be decreasing the capacity of our action to translate into, our intention to translate into action, those emotions, we can put them aside. And not only can we put them aside, gradually, by the practise of भक्ति, those emotions will become transformed.
Just like now, if I type B, and Bollywood comes. But if I repeatedly keep visiting bhagwadgita.com, keep visiting one day, two days, five days, ten days, after that, when I type B, automatically bhagwadgita will come. So, over a period of time, our emotions, which are working against us now, they will start working for us.
And when they start working for us, then, our life will become much more joyful, much less conflict-filled. And that’s what Krishna says, सुसुखं करतुम आओगया. That is the level when bhakti becomes joyful.
And not only bhakti becomes joyful, but rather, bhakti makes our whole life joyful. So, I’ll summarise. I spoke today on the topic of increasing our willpower by increasing the distance between us and our emotions, and our emotions and our actions.
So, in that, I started by talking about how often we make some resolutions, but something goes wrong, and the resolution doesn’t translate into action. So, what goes wrong primarily is, that when we make the resolution, we have the intention to do it, but afterwards we stop feeling like doing it. So, I talk about the Bhagavad Gita’s three-level model of the self, the soul, the body, the soul, the mind, and the body.
That’s like the hardware, software, and user. So, our resolution is the intention which comes from us, the soul. And the action is what we want to do.
But in between comes the emotion. And that emotion blocks us. So, what do we do with that emotion? That is the question.
So, distancing ourselves from our emotions means, we understand that emotions, any emotion that comes within us is not necessarily our emotion. It is the proposition coming from the past action. It’s like I type B, Bollywood comes, that’s not what I want to do.
That’s what has come as autocomplete. So, when this autocomplete emotion comes, then we have to evaluate. So, I talk about Ram and Lakshman and Bharat.
How Ram told sentiments are the ornaments of life, but we need to select those sentiments which take us towards Dharma. Not those away from Dharma. So, to do this, we have to situate ourselves as the level of the soul.
I am different from my emotions. And that is not just an intellectual understanding, it is a purposeful understanding. When I understand I am a soul meant to serve Krishna, then whenever any emotion comes, I will evaluate.
Is this helping me in my service or not? We may get angry in our office. I may get angry because the boss is treating us unfairly. But we won’t just vent out the anger.
We won’t vent out the anger because the higher purpose. Okay, I have to maintain my level. That is there.
Similarly, the higher purpose of serving Krishna, when we cultivate that, then we can distance ourselves from our emotions. We need to become like the umpires in our inner world. The emotions are like the appealing fielders.
And we evaluate an emotion based not on its intensity, not on the volume of the appeal of the players, but on the merit. So, even when the emotion is there, I have distanced myself from the emotion. What do I do after that? Then I recognise the difference between the emotion and the action.
So, all of us, we can see only each other’s faces, not their minds. Nature has given us that buffer by which even if unhealthy feelings come in, we can restrain ourselves. So, we use that natural gift to ensure that we continue the right action.
So, our determination, our willpower will go down if we think that I will feel my way to the actions. When I feel like doing it, I will do it. But instead, we go bottom up.
Act our way to the feelings. This is what I am going to do. And if I do it, gradually I will start feeling the right way.
So, I talked about how when the emotions are disrupting us, if there is something which requires physical attention, then we get distracted from the emotion. But if there is no physical attention required, then we get caught in the emotion. Like after a quarrel, driving on a clear road or driving through a crowded road.
So similarly, if we create a habit of doing certain things, then that habit will gradually cure the disruptive emotions that we have. And acting our way to the feelings is the essence of Sadhana Bhakti. In Sadhana Bhakti, we want to have devotion for Krishna.
Sometimes we feel some bhakti, sometimes we don’t feel. But if we persevere in doing the activities of japa, of satsang, of puja, then by this, the connection with Krishna will develop. And then the emotions will become steadier.
So, even for connecting with Krishna, we need some willpower. But that willpower is having like a lever. The willpower that we apply over here is much lesser and the effect is much greater.
Take the example of an ocean. Instead of fighting against each wave that comes and not getting shaken by it, we focus on connecting with the rope from the helicopter. And then the waves will be able to resist.
So like that, we have horizontal relationships and horizontal roles in the world. And waves of good and bad will come from there. Our relationship with Krishna is the vertical stabiliser for us.
So to the extent we commit ourselves to that vertical relationship with Krishna, to that extent we will find in our capacity to discipline our wayward emotions and persevere in our purposeful actions, that will improve. And thus, our willpower will be enhanced. And over a period of time, Krishna bhakta will transform our emotions by which they will become our friends instead of our foes.
And then our life will become much more joyful. Thank you very much. Hare Krishna.
So are there any questions or comments? Thank you for such a wonderful class. I don’t think so there is any question that you haven’t answered. But I would like you to dive into one small thing.
Most of us are neophytes practising sadhana bhakti. And most of us are in a young family structure way. So we have a lot of responsibility towards our kids, towards feeding them, towards paying mortgage, endless responsibilities.
Even though we are cultivating sadhana bhakti and trying hard as to go and cultivate ourselves into love with the Lord. So the question I have, the Lord says in the Bhagavad Gita, So when we go out and around the world, in a way, with a devotee, it’s not possible at this stage, being in a great tantrum, to stay with a devotee constantly for 24 hours. That is not possible for most of us.
Because when we go out in the world, there are no devotees, the culture is different, it’s not appropriate for us to do sadhana bhakti in that particular environment. So all these challenges and all these topics that come unwanted, like posters, like pop-ups, I’ll call it pop-ups, they are not favourable for our sadhana bhakti. How would one manage that willpower in that particular impulsive moment where you are not in that appropriate environment to cultivate the sadhana bhakti? You can’t say I’m going to run away from my boss and from my work and go and meet the devotee who works around the next corner and sit with him.
Because that would require an effort to go and talk. So how would one do that when the moment is not favourable? So when the environment is filled with many temptations that are contrary to devotional principles, so how can we persevere at that time? The environment in today’s Kali Yuga makes life difficult not just for spiritual life but even for material life. Even materially people can’t be responsible and committed when they are too distracted by things.
Now, there are three broad things which can be involved over here. First is that what Krishna says is problem is not perception but contemplation. It is not dhrushyato vishayantamsa it is dhyayato vishayantamsa.
So it is, we don’t have to move in this world with closed eyes. We can’t. But it is when we contemplate on something.
Contemplation means that there is some perception that happens and then we let our desires and emotions get involved. And after that is where the trouble starts. Now perceptions don’t matter so much if we don’t rest our emotions.
Now how do we do that? Basically we all have to know our triggers. So if we know that certain things provoke me then it is best to minimise exposure. We cannot eliminate exposure but we can minimise it.
I spoke in Google about a couple of months ago in Silicon Valley. So there in Google they had done an experiment that it is mostly sedentary jobs. So they found a lot of people their employees were getting obesity and health issues were coming up.
So they consulted a psychologist and he said that in your cafeteria whatever candies are there, whatever sweets are there, just cover them with non-transparent paper. And they did that and they found that over the next six months almost 30% the sale of candies went up. And the obesity levels and other issues among their employees also went up.
So now they can’t say that in our cafeteria we don’t sell any candies. They are there but they don’t have to be made eyebrows. So similarly for us if we know there are certain triggers we can try to minimise our exposure.
So you can’t eliminate them but we can minimise them. It might sometimes involve a little more trouble but it’s working. I was a deliver and I was addressing a group of people who were from Alcoholics Anonymous and they were connected with devotees practising bhakti.
So they said that one of the things is say this is your home, this is your office and along the way there is a bar and you frequent it. Then if they keep passing by that bar everyday they decide to keep coming. So if that is a trigger then they may have to take a longer route.
It’s trouble but it saves a lot of trouble. So now somebody else who is a normal person who has not been an alcoholic for them they may not even notice it. So sometimes acknowledging our triggers and guarding ourselves is our responsibility.
And we think it doesn’t matter and I’ll control myself. No but it will not work like this. So specifically all of us may have different triggers which trouble us.
So if we can find what those triggers are we can minimise the exposure. Even if we can’t eliminate it we can minimise it. The second thing is that even if we don’t have to think of our doing the right thing in terms of digital logic.
Did I do the right thing or the wrong thing? Sometimes some emotion may come up and we start acting on it and then as soon as we realise it we can stop. So sometimes we may decide I want to wake up in the morning and then we wake up and then we think that I’m tired, I’m tired let me sleep for 10 minutes more. And I sleep for 10 minutes more and after I wake up it’s one hour.
And then the mind sleeps anyway you overslept, now oversleep more. Then we may end up sleeping for 2-3 hours. As soon as I wake up, as soon as I realise at that moment I couldn’t wake up, I was tired.
But as soon as we realise we are on the wrong track we can come back on the right track. We don’t have to necessarily think of success on the path of self-improvement only in terms of achieving certain standards. Success in self-improvement is more a direction than a destination.
Nobody can say that I’m fully self-controlled. It’s always a journey. So we may think, oh I wanted to wake up at this time.
But I’m not able, I failed. No, it’s not necessarily a failure. If you couldn’t wake up, what is the next time you can wake up? So if we see it as a direction then even if a particular target is missed we can keep moving in that direction.
So we don’t have to see it that our doing something wrong is necessarily a failure. As soon as I realise I’ve done the wrong, correct me. Basically when the impulses come the impulses while they come they are very forceful.
So anger comes, sometimes that anger comes for a few minutes it is there. At that time I feel like exploding. But if I can control at that time, it will go away after that.
So basically when these impulses come the first step is to stay away from the triggers. That means it’s not so easy to indulge it. Second is when the impulses come they come and then they are going still because of frustration, oh I couldn’t do what I wanted to do.
We get frustrated, we go on with it. But as soon as the impulse subsides, stop. As soon as we realise this was the wrong thing, stop.
So if we tie our success to a specific standard, then it will become a problem. Because if I fail, now let me fail completely. So there is a saying in self-improvement even if you fail, fail well.
Fail well. Fail well means what? As soon as you realise, come back on the right track. And the last thing is that just the steady practise of bhakti will slowly immunise us to worldly temptations.
By the practise of bhakti, as we become purified as we start getting more and more higher taste then the worldly temptations will not trouble us so much. That will happen gradually but it is, what I said is that sometimes these impulses come within us. Do this, do this, do this.
These two steps I talked is, try to avoid the triggers and second is, as soon as you realise they have gone wrong, come to stop it. And the third is, by the practise of bhakti what will happen is, however we get higher we get inner strength, we get inner happiness and our capacity to resist those impulses increases. So if the impulse comes, we can resist it more.
And not only that, by the practise of bhakti the impulses themselves will become weaker. So both our capacity to resist the impulse and the force of the impulse, both will be changed over a period of time. No matter what happens with respect to specific temptations and specific agitations, we keep practising bhakti.
And if we keep practising bhakti diligently eventually the agitation will go down. Thank you. Yeah.
I’ll repeat the question. Okay. So what is the relationship between humility and willpower? How does humility help us to distance ourselves from our emotions? Yeah.
The word humility can have different meanings in different contexts. In the context of self-improvement, humility means acknowledging where we are right now. It simply means this is where I am.
Now in the outer world I may act as if I have this much control I have this much discipline, I have this much self-mastery but actually this is where I am. That’s not necessarily a bad thing because we can start our journey only from where we are not from where we think we should be. So by humility sometimes humility, if it is misunderstood it can lead to feelings of inferiority or inferiority complex.
So that happens when we are centred only on ourselves. Like oh I am so bad, I am so good for nothing I can never do anything right. And when we are thinking only about ourselves and how deficient we are that is not actually humility.
The essence of humility is not to think low of ourselves it is to think less about ourselves. Not that I am so fallen, I am so bad I am so useless but there are better things for me to think about than myself. I have a purpose, I have a service let me think about that.
Ultimately when we start practising Krishna Bhakti we have Krishna to think about we have Krishna’s service to think about. So the purpose of humility is not to push ourselves down the purpose of humility is to lift our consciousness to Krishna. So if I am too full of myself then I can’t think of Krishna.
But if I understand that there is some reality bigger than me and I focus on that so in the context of self-improvement humility means that I understand I can’t do it alone. I need Krishna. If I only think I am here and my disruptive mind is here and I have to alone fight against this I can’t do it.
And then it will lead to feelings of low self-esteem and it will lead to feelings of inferiority complex and that can be very damaging for us. But when we see that I am here this disruptive mind, these bad habits, these negativities are here but beyond them is Krishna. And he is much bigger than me and he is much bigger than my conditioning also.
So for us humility doesn’t mean just thinking I am so full, I am so full, I am so bad but rather yes I have my conditionings and I cannot fight them without Krishna. But with Krishna I can do it. So our humility should direct us towards Krishna.
Our humility should inspire us to take shelter of Krishna. If somebody says I am so fallen that I cannot practise Krishna bhakti some people say that actually I am so contaminated if I come to the temple, the temple will become contaminated. That is not humility.
That is like pseudo humility. If somebody is so unclean and tells him please take a bath, he says no no, if I take the bath the river will become unclean. Don’t worry, the river is not going to become unclean.
There is constant flowing water and you will become clean. So no matter what our condition is Krishna is there with us always. And if our humility inspires us to feel the need for Krishna then that need for Krishna will intensify our connection with him and when that connection the willpower will actually manifest as a result.
So humility is meant to help us, to inspire us to connect with Krishna. Then that humility is very favourable for self transformation. Does it answer your question? We will stop here.
So thank you very much. Prabhupada Ki Jai Gaur Bhakta Vinda Ki Jai Haribol