Is not trusting those who have cheated us a weakness of the mind?

Transcript

This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
If somebody has cheated us a number of times and then we may still hope, hope may say trust them, but then our mind says no, cannot trust them.
So, what should we do? See, basically here, nomenclature has its limitations. So, when something within us is saying trust that person, something within us is saying do not trust that person. Now, we do not necessarily have to, we may not be necessarily right in identifying which is the voice that is saying us do not trust.
There can be higher voice or the lower voice. Some people tend to be super suspicious. And for them, because being suspicious is the default nature.
So, for them, it may be well be the voice that always casts suspicion, that is the lower voice, because that is the voice that will get them into trouble. Because they will always stay, in name of being staying safe, they will always stay alone. They will never connect with anyone, they will never trust anyone.
So, in that situation, the lower voice is the voice which makes them, keeps them too excessively suspicious and keeps them lonely. But on the other hand, some people may be too trusting. And they are too trusting, then the voice which says just do it, that will be the voice of the mind.
And that will be the lower voice. And the higher voice may be that which tells you no, you know you have been re-cheated in the past, you have to be more cautious. So, rather than getting too much into labels of which is the voice of whom, we can focus on the purpose.
Our purpose is, we want to have a healthy relationship. At the same time, we do not want to be lonely, but at the same time, we do not want to be gullible. So, then if we have been cheated, it is intelligent to not be naive and trust immediately.
So, we can, just like if an unfamiliar person comes to our house, then say if we are alone, we may just look through the peephole, who is there. Nowadays, the security camera, we say who is there outside in our camera itself. And then if they want to talk, we may just talk without opening the door a little bit.
I do not know who that person is. Or we may open the door and keep the chain on and then talk. And then gradually, this person is a trustworthy person.
I know them or they know someone whom I know. Then we may open the door and let them inside. So, like that with relationships also, we cannot just trust anyone unthinkingly.
We can take steps. In the past, I have been cheated. Now, people can change also.
But we cannot assume they have changed. We have to see the evidence for that. So, we can forgive people for the past wrongs that they may have done.
We do not necessarily have to hold the past against them. But at the same time, there is a difference between forgiving and trusting. Forgiving is for the past.
Trusting is for the future. We would always be forgiving. No need to hold people’s wrongs against in our head and keep resenting what they have done.
It is done. It is done. It is over.
But we cannot naively trust anyone. So, we could create just like we said, we open the door partially and talk with people. So, like that we can relate with them in a limited way and see whether they have changed, whether they are really worth our trust or not.
And then if they have changed as we will experience over a period of time, then we can open the door of our heart more and connect more with them. So, there is no set formula. But we according to our particular disposition, whether we tend to be too suspicious or too gullible, too trusting.
And according to the particular situation, when the person is reciprocating, then we can decide how to move forwards.