Is wanting to go back after death to Krishna selfish and wanting to go to Prabhupada selfless?

Transcript

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thank you question when we go when we get purified will we go back to Krishna or will we go back to Prabhupada or is it only that very intimate associates of Prabhupada will go back to him and should we aspire to go where Prabhupada is and continue to serve him or should we aspire to go back to Godhead is it selfish to want to go back to Godhead and selfless to want to go to Srila Prabhupada answer there are statements which are of philosophical truths and there are statements of personal moods and the two both need to be valued but the two shouldn’t be mixed up that means that when some very dedicated followers of Srila Prabhupada say that we don’t want to go back to Krishna we want to go back to Prabhupada only we want to serve him lifelong this is a wonderful sentiment and life after life we want to serve our spiritual master that is a sentiment which is frequently expressed by Vaishnavas in our tradition as well as in the broader Vaishnava tradition at the same time we also have Srila Prabhupada an anecdote when one devotee told him, Prabhupada I want to serve you lifetime, life after life, Prabhupada told him don’t make me come here life after life to accept your service so what that means is that we want to serve Srila Prabhupada but what is Srila Prabhupada’s wish ultimately he wants us to love Krishna and those who love Krishna are in the spiritual world and one aspect of loving Krishna is that we serve Krishna according to his will so if Krishna wants us to go where Srila Prabhupada is and even if we assume that Srila Prabhupada is somewhere else in the material world delivering souls on a preaching mission then if we go to Srila Prabhupada by Krishna’s will that is wonderful we are servants of Krishna and Srila Prabhupada but if we go to Krishna by Krishna’s will and that is what we preach Srila Prabhupada also Srila Prabhupada wants us not just to serve him but to serve Krishna ultimately so where we go after death is not in our control even if we assume that we are pure enough to not have to take birth in material consciousness anywhere in the material world whether we will go to Srila Prabhupada or whether we will go to Krishna and whether those two places are the same or different all this is unknown for us at this stage and when some statements are made in a mood that we want to go to Prabhupada not to Krishna that is more a statement of one’s unalloyed devotion rather than of some eternal spiritual reality because who knows if Srila Prabhupada is with Krishna then we don’t have to make that choice should I go to Prabhupada or should I go to Krishna and in one sense Prabhupada is always with Krishna but in another sense Prabhupada may also be in the spiritual world with Krishna and not be somewhere else in the material world delivering souls, we don’t know so is it selfish to want to go back to Krishna and selfless to want to serve him in the material world now if you look at the Shastrakam prayer, let’s understand this stress carefully so life after lifetime I just want your uncauseless devotional service unmotivated devotional service so I do not want wealth or women or anything else like that now in this thrust in this verse the thrust is not that I want to come back life after life the thrust is that even if I come the thrust is that I want your unalloyed devotion so even if I have to come back life after life my dear lord let me have unalloyed devotion the thrust is not that I want to come back life after life so if you understand this point then wanting to be with Krishna is a pure spiritual desire why do we as devotees want to be with Krishna if you understand that we are servants of Krishna then we would like to offer Krishna the best service possible and the best service possible is in the spiritual world because there is no body that will limit us in our service to Krishna no material body that will limit us there is no material mind that will distract us from our service to Krishna and in that way there are no non-devotional or anti-devotional elements who will obstruct us in our service to Krishna so the facilities for serving Krishna are much more in the spiritual world and that’s why as devotees we would like to go to spiritual world that is the abode of eternal love so having our own individuality and having our own desires as long as the desire is the ambit of serving Krishna they are perfectly fine and for example there are so many different divine manifestations whom should we pray to should we pray to Krishna or Radharani or Chaitanya Mahaprabhu or Nityanand Prabhu or to Srila Prabhupada or to our spiritual master this is up to us certainly when we are offering a systematic prayer we go from our spiritual master of the parampara to Krishna but when we are in distress and we want to call out to the lord whom do we call out to that will depend on our individual inspiration and that inspiration cannot be legislated if somebody calls out to Chaitanya Mahaprabhu or somebody calls out to Krishna or somebody calls out to Prabhupada is that necessarily meaning that they are at different levels of devotion no they all may be equally exalted exalted in their devotion and they may have their individual inspiration to connect with particular manifestation of the divine so similarly if we see senior devotees saying that I want to go back to Prabhupada not to Krishna we can see that as a expression of their profound devotion to Prabhupada but that is an individual rasa it is not that that can be or should be legislated to everyone else we want to have a deep service attitude and within that service attitude there are three distinct aspects one is that what is it that we feel inspired to how is it that we feel inspired to serve second is where we serve and third is our attitude when how we want to serve and how we end up serving don’t match so Prabhupada writes in in the parpot third canto in the karda muni section that a devotee desires to see the lord but he doesn’t demand to see the lord so similarly we can have our individual inspiration which will be to stay in this world or to go to Krishna and Krishna may have a particular plan for us to be in this world with Prabhupada to be with him in the spiritual world and if the two don’t match still our service attitude remains strong and we serve Krishna in whatever situation he wills so having our inspiration and devotional service is just a manifestation of our individuality that is not a sign of a lack of surrender or a lower level of devotion and surrendering to Krishna’s plan is also a sign of devotion so thus by understanding that ultimately we are servants we have individuality and we are subordinate to Krishna’s will we can try to purify our heart so that we can best serve Krishna directed by our inspiration wherever Krishna wills that is where we will go