It is impossible to not see women with an enjoying mentality. Please guide.

Transcript

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it is almost impossible to avoid seeing women with an enjoying mentality please guide how we can do so answer this is a problem not just for the souls in male bodies but also for souls in female bodies we all have the enjoying mentality and all of us face the challenge so the Vedic culture often focuses on men to control themselves because in the Vedic culture the men were the primary active members in society, the movers in society the women were the movers at home so it would be men who would be seeking our enjoyment that is why the Vedic scriptures focus on on men cultivating the right vision because often it is they who usually go out of their way when they succumb to lust to seek gratification so there are multiple various progressive levels of vision at the at the grossest level a person sees women just as objects for enjoyment that is a predatory vision which is unfortunately quite standard in today’s culture then even within a cultured society women other than one’s wife are treated respectfully so in the Vedic culture so this is not necessarily a spiritual vision this is a cultured vision that women other than one’s wife are mothers so basically women have two primary identities one is the maternal and the other is the sexual so the modern culture focuses on women based on their sexual identity whereas Vedic culture encourages to focus on women based on their maternal identity so women if you look at these two identities the sexual identity is not sustainable because if women are going to attract others just based on their sexually attractive features, physical beauty is not going to last for long and if men are going to relate with women based only on that then they also can’t have sustainable relationships so the Vedic culture encourages is a man can have a relationship with a wife that will be sexual but for all other women, once you train oneself to see the maternal aspect of it now beyond the maternal aspect that is a cultured vision beyond that actually women can also be seen for what they are, souls they are also souls, they are also parts of Krishna and they are also in need of Krishna so whenever there is preaching that is happening at that time women are seen as as parts of Krishna and in need of Krishna but one has to be very careful because the tendency of the conditioned soul is to take the place of Krishna so a person may think that this woman needs Krishna but actually she needs me because we at a subtle level, our mind tricks us and we replace Krishna with ourselves and then beyond that is the highest level where we see women as Vaishnavis where they are devotees of Krishna already and at the highest level women, the female form is seen as men for Krishna’s enjoyment they are Krishna’s gopis so now when I say these are the levels of vision it is not that we try to look at women and think that ok, these are the levels of vision no, they are more the levels of conscious analysis it is not when we are at Sadhaka stage when the male eyes behold the female form it is very easy unless one is very cautious to just drag down to the lowest level of gross sensual enjoyment but at least when we understand these multiple levels we understand there is a pathway and in our culture current culture things become a little more it may become more difficult for us to see women from the maternal perspective as mothers because women also are pressurized by the current culture to constantly act as sex objects women consider that the more male heads turn when they come into a room that is how successful they are and so this culture this sort of cultural values are a bit for both male and female but in the long run they are denigrating for both because they bring the male female relationship right down to the sexual platform as a general standard so the way to go beyond this to cultivate educated vision is first of all we have to have solid philosophical understanding so that we know that my eyes are untrustworthy that what my eyes are showing me is just a temporary bodily covering which will only be good looking for a short time and beyond that is the real person and even that real person’s attractiveness is a spark of Krishna’s attractiveness so only when we are philosophically educated then it is possible but beyond that also there has to be proper culture so I have talked in just another lecture another answer to a question how to avoid lust, I have talked about conquer lust by dust determination, understanding, submission and training, those principles apply over here also but in this specific answer one has to learn to first of all understand which are the visions at which one can perceive and then after that one has to create proper boundaries based on what is safe for oneself without having the proper boundaries we will find it impossible to control the enjoying mentality that means as this Bhagavatam says man is like butter and woman is like fire when the two come together there is bound to be the melting of the butter so when there is adequate distance maintained, distance not just physically but also emotionally then there is a possibility of interaction without any without excessive agitation so we have to decide individually based on our nature based on our past conditionings based on our present circumstances how we can keep the proper distance so that we can avoid undue provocation and of course it is important that we also discover some means of gaining spiritual relief and spiritual fulfillment so it may be chanting it may be reciting verses it may be beholding the beautiful deities pictures of the beautiful deities it may be reciting Vaisnava songs, studying the philosophy important philosophical points that illuminate us some striking punch lines or phrases that jolt us out of illusion bring us to reality so we should not see that women are the cause of our agitation, it is lust that is the cause of agitation when Krishna is addressing Arjuna he doesn’t say that lust is situated in the female form, he says lust is situated in the senses, the mind and the intelligence so he says in senses mind and intelligence now the senses, mind and intelligence it can be for the male as well as the female so when the male senses, mind and intelligence are filled with lust then one is constantly searching for gratifying the lust and when the female senses mind, intelligence and senses are filled with lust then the females also seek to parade their own physical beauty to provoke others so in this way actually it is crucial for us to recognize that we can’t blame others certainly when women dress in revealing clothes then that makes it more difficult for the males to control themselves but that we can’t blame our enjoying mentality on the way women dress, certainly that is a trigger that provokes further but we have to purify ourselves and recognizing that lust is situated in our own senses, mind and intelligence we can work to purify it, so lust going to attack us, when we purify ourselves by practicing devotional service then especially by finding ways in which we can get higher happiness and relief and keeping those ways ready with us, whenever we feel agitated then we can avoid that enjoying mentality so we should have a pause button whenever the mind starts going into hyper drive we pause, pause by chanting pause by praying, pause by reciting verses, press the pause button and then when we press the pause button gradually the mind is forced to come to a halt and when it comes to a halt then after that we can regather our bearings and change the direction in which we are going and turn