Learning to live with emotional lows

[Talk at ISKCON, Laguna Beach, California, USA]

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This is an AI-generated transcript and may contain some errors.
Thank you very much.
Sri Advaita Gadadhara Sri Vasati Gaura Bhakta Vrinda Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare Hare Rama, Hare Rama Rama Rama, Hare Hare Hare Krishna Am I audible behind you? So, thank all of you for coming today evening. And I will speak on the Bhagavad Gita 14th chapter verses 22 and 23 which talk about becoming an observer of our mind. So, 14th point 22 and 23 say Prakasham cha pravrttim cha Moham eva cha Pandava Na dveshti sam pravrttani Na nivrttani kankshati Udhaseena vadhaseenam Gunairyo na vichalyate Gunavartam tyatyeva Yo vatishthati nengate So, here essentially Krishna is telling that different kinds of emotions will come within us.
So, the theme I will focus on is the how to response to respond to negative emotions in a positive way. So, Krishna here says that Prakasham pravrtti moham I sometimes will feel good about things. Sometimes I feel I have to do something.
Then I will feel good. Sometimes I will feel oh nothing will make me feel good. I just feel dull and dead.
So, Prakasham pravrtti and Moham Oh, these kind of emotions will come within us. And he says Na dveshti sam pravrttani When these emotions come, don’t resent them. Na nivrttani kankshati And if they go away, don’t crave for them.
Now, that means obviously if negative emotions go away, we are not going to crave for them. We don’t want to feel bad. But when positive emotions also come for some time and they go away, Krishna says don’t crave for them.
And when negative emotions come Na dveshti sam pravrttani Don’t resent. Why am I feeling like this? And what should you do instead? Udasi na vadasinam That be situated as if detached. Gunahiryo na vichalyate Understanding that the moods, the subtle forces which shape our emotions, they are simply acting on us.
Gunavrttan dityeva Understanding that this is simply the influence of the moods. Yo avatishthathine ingathe Don’t be shaken by it. We could say at one level, the three moods of material nature are like seasons.
Each season comes with its own weather. In India, we have three seasons primarily. We have summer, rainy season, winter.
Other parts of the world, we have four seasons. Autumn, spring, summer, winter. But whatever it is, the seasons, when they change, we don’t let the seasons control our actions.
The change of seasons will actually affect us. If it’s going to rain, I have to take a raincoat. I have to take an umbrella.
If it’s cold, I have to wear warm clothes. But we don’t let the seasons completely control our actions. So the way we deal with seasons is that when the seasons change, we don’t resent and think I can change the season.
We accept it. But at the same time, that doesn’t mean that we just give in to the season and do nothing. So we make the necessary adaptations and move on with our purpose based on the seasons.
So just as we have environmental seasons, we can say we also have emotional seasons. Our emotions oscillate sometimes unpredictably, just as the weather sometimes changes unpredictably. And when this happens, Krishna is telling over here, just learn to live with it.
I’ll explain what this actually means and how it can be done. But suffice it to say that at some level, understanding, equating our emotions with the environment, with the environmental weather, it can give us quite many healthy insights for how to deal with emotions. Sometimes we think that we should not feel any negative emotions.
If somebody is worried about something, we tell them, don’t worry. Now, the expression may be good intentioned, but for some people, whether to worry or not is not in their control. Some people just have the nature where they’re more prone to anxiety than others.
So it’s almost like if somebody’s feeling cold, and we tell them, don’t feel cold. What do you mean don’t feel cold? I’m feeling cold. So similarly, some of us, just as now the environmental weather, the temperature may be the same, but some of us may have bodies which are more vulnerable to cold.
And some of us may have bodies which are less vulnerable to cold. So some people, given cold weather, they can just wear some ordinary clothes and go out. Some people wear three, four layers of clothes and still they’re trembling.
But just the way the body is. So just as the body, each body has its own capacities and limitations. Similarly, each mind also has its own capacities and limitations.
So some people will be prone to certain emotions more than others. So some of us may, as I said, worry too much. And some people may have the opposite problem.
They may worry too little. I mean, how can worrying too little be a problem? The word worry usually has a negative connotation to it. But some people may just be reckless.
They just be foolhardy, not thinking about anything. Our mind is such that it oscillates towards extremes. These three modes of material nature, goodness, passion, and ignorance.
Satvaguna, Rajoguna, and Tamoguna. We can say that they are like subtle forces that shape our thinking and our acting. So one way to understand these three modes is to look at how they influence our thinking and acting.
So in the mode of goodness, first there is contemplation and then there is action. We think carefully and then we act. In the mode of passion, Rajoguna, there is first action and then contemplation.
So some people speak to express their thoughts and some people speak to discover their thoughts. They speak something, I don’t want to speak that. So for them, the action comes before the contemplation.
So that is characteristic of the mode of passion. And the mode of ignorance is, there is neither action nor contemplation. There is simply no action.
There is simply delusion. That means, if there is a problem, if I have a relationship issue with someone, if I’m in the mode of goodness, I’ll think carefully. Okay, what is the exact problem? Okay, this is what this person is feeling.
This is what I had done. This is what I’m feeling. This is what they had done.
We analyse properly and try to address the issue. There’s contemplation and action. And if there’s a mode of passion, we will think, you know, I can fix anything.
You know, we will try to control the person and change the person into our image and the way we want them to be. And we think, I’ll fix them. So in mode of passion, we act, you know.
You should be doing like this. You should be doing like this. And then we don’t think about their emotions.
We don’t think about their side of things. We just judge and pass comments very quickly. Now in the mode of ignorance, there is neither contemplation nor action.
That means what happens? We simply feel sorry for ourselves. Oh, you know, this relationship is so important, but it’s going down the drain now. What can I do? This is what happens to me all the time.
Life is so rotten. Destiny is so unfair. Why is it all happening to me so much? We go into what can be called a pity party.
We just feel sorry for ourselves more and more and more. So this is the characteristic of the mode of ignorance, where we neither think clearly nor act effectively. We just stay caught in our own head, doing nothing practical.
In a sense, in goodness as well as in ignorance, we are in our head. But when we are in our head, in goodness, we are in control and we are thinking, analysing properly. But in ignorance, we are just being led by our mind here, there and everywhere.
So in ignorance, basically whenever any problem comes, we could say that our inner world, it’s like a torch. So we use our thoughts. Okay, this is the problem.
This is the problem. This is the problem. We analyse it.
But in ignorance, basic when we are in the mode of ignorance, the mind, some problem comes up and the mind starts inside a horror movie. This will go wrong. And in this horror movie, we are not the spectators.
We are the victims. It’s all happening to us. And once this horror movie starts going on, then it’s just, we can become paralysed.
We can become paranoid. We can become petrified, not being able to do anything. Now, so put another way in terms of this contemplation and action.
It is that the three modes you can explain as some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. And some people wonder what happened.
So just this, this, this, this. In the mode of goodness, we think when we make things happen. Okay, let’s do this.
You do this. We’ll make this happen. In the mode of passion, we watch things happen.
We want to do, but we do things thoughtlessly and we try to do one thing and that has this unwanted reaction and that unwanted reaction. This is going wrong. That is going wrong.
That is going wrong. And we just get completely overwhelmed. So whereas in the mode of ignorance, we just feel whatever is happening, let it happen.
I don’t care. So now if we understand our emotion, emotional variation to be like the variation of climates. Now, let’s try to see how these two integrate.
One is I said that the emotions will come and go. Krishna says observe them. Then I talk about three modes.
So what we talked about the relationship between these two is that that the modes will influence us in different ways at different times. Our modern and postmodern world is driven by the idea that we human beings have the capacity to control whatever we want. And in some ways, as compared to a few hundred years ago also, or even a few decades ago, we have much more control over our externals than what we had in the past.
So comforts that were not even available to kings in the past are available to middle class people today. One example could be air conditioning. So we have been able to control many things using technology, using scientific progress.
And if that control helps us to live more comfortably, that is fine. However, this capacity to control externals creates within us the conception that we should be able to control everything. And especially we think that we should be able to control our emotions.
And when we are not able to control our emotions, we start thinking something is wrong with me. The mind can be so cunning that we may decide I am not going to worry. And then, just like some bodies are vulnerable to cold, so we start getting worried.
And we start feeling worried, okay, there is some problem because of which there is some anxiety within us. But what happens? We not only get worried, we get worried about being worried. Why am I worrying like this? I shouldn’t be worried.
If we start feeling negative, we start feeling bad, we start feeling depressed. Why am I feeling bad like this? And most of the times, many of the activities that we do are simply driven by the desire to avoid bad feelings. When people get compulsively hooked to entertainments, now, why are people so mad for entertainment? Entertainment has always been a part of human society.
But today, it is an obsession. And one way to understand how it is an obsession is to see how much we are ready to pay for it. Probably, the highest paid professionals in the world today are the entertainers.
The sports star, the movie stars, the surgeon who can fix a broken leg doesn’t even get one-tenth of the pay as somebody who with the leg can kick a ball. So, we all want to be entertained. And when we pay so much for entertainment, that means we consider entertainment to be such a great need that we are ready to fork out that much money for that.
So, what is happening when we are trying to be entertained? Entertainment as a break from the routines of life is fine. But today, for many people, it’s a mania. It’s something which they can’t live without.
So, why is that? It’s all and largely an attempt to avoid negative feelings. I’m feeling bored. I’m feeling irritated.
I’m feeling sad. Just turn on the television. Turn on nowadays the phone.
Just watch something and forget everything. Now, television, phones, these can be used constructively. We can watch and we can learn.
But when we use them as escape strategies, what we are trying to do is we’re getting negative emotions and we don’t want to have those negative emotions. We think I should not have those negative emotions. Why do I have them? When I have them, then I try to escape from them through entertainment.
And now, of course, entertainment is just one thing. There can be many other things. So, when those bad feelings stay too much, then we may seek medication.
I don’t want to feel depressed. I don’t want to feel anxiety. So, let me take some medication.
This medication can also become an addiction eventually. It can become dependent on that. And then, we originally say that there is happiness and there is happiness level.
Happiness is something which we just sometimes we feel happy, sometimes we will not feel happy. In life, sometimes there will be pleasure, sometimes pain. But we could say there is a broad happiness level.
That means the state of being that we return to when there is neither happiness nor distress. So, now, if our happiness level is over here and sometimes you’re going to distress and then sometimes there is happiness, sometimes there is pleasure. So, our normal happiness level or consciousness level or happiness level is over here.
Now, when we will all go, life will be like a sine wave where these ups and downs will come. So, when the downs come, if we, you know, I don’t want this down. Why am I feeling like this? Then to get rid of that, if say we take some artificial things, either it can be entertainment, it can be medication, it can be substance abuse, which is a more dangerous form of addiction.
Now, all these can make us feel good. I watch some comedy, I watch some sports, I feel good. I may take some medication, some tranquillizer, I feel good.
I take some drugs, I take alcohol, I feel good. But this negative, this lower, the trough of the sine wave had come and when I try to push my consciousness up, my happiness, my consciousness up artificially, it goes up. It does go up.
But then after that, not only does it come down, our overall consciousness level goes down. And after some time, say, I was at a mental health care centre, I gave a talk to, in New Jersey, to several mental health care counsellors. They were telling that the addicts, they say initially, they take drugs to feel good.
But afterwards, they start taking drugs not to feel good, but just to feel normal. Because what happened? Yes, when the consciousness has gone down, drugs took it up. Temporarily it takes up, but the normal happiness level or consciousness level that is there, that graph starts going down, down, down.
And when it goes down, then, then if then there the negative wave of the sine wave comes, it goes further down. And we take drugs to just feel normal, not to feel good. So in that way, we become more and more dependent on it.
And they are not dependent to get positive feelings. It’s just dependent to not feel negative. What do we do about this? That, like I said that environmental conditions are not in our control.
And our vulnerability to our particular body’s environment, vulnerability to particular environmental conditions is also not in our control. If I feel cold, I feel cold. Similarly, for all of us, we all have a mind of a particular kind.
And now this mind can be changed also. But I have to accept, this is the kind of mind I have. So some of us may have a mind, which is prone to worry.
What if this goes wrong? What if that goes wrong? What if that goes wrong? Some people have a mind which never sees what may go wrong. And that can actually be a problem. I talked about these three modes, goodness, passion and ignorance.
So in general, if we consider our life, there are things which are in our control and there are things which are not in our control. And this is always going to be the condition of our life. And if we look at the things that are not in our control, that causes insecurity.
That causes uncertainty, insecurity, anxiety. If we look at the things that are in our control, that helps us to get positivity. Okay, I can do this.
I can do this. I can do this. Now, each of us has a mind of a particular kind.
If the mind is in the mode of ignorance, it will obsess over that which is not in our control and make us feel powerless. So if I have an exam to give tomorrow and then I start thinking, what if some very difficult question comes? What if I get it? You know, what if on the way I, I meet with an accident? What if this happens? What if that happens? What if that happens? And in that way, as the more I think of what is not in my control, the more I start feeling worried. I start feeling fearful.
The more I lose control over that which is in my control also. So what is in my control? I can study right now. I can prepare right now.
But the mind, when it thinks too much about what is not in our control, we lose, we become powerless and we lose our capacity to control what we can. So in the mode of ignorance, habitually the mind will go towards what is not in our control. It will make us feel powerless.
So in the mode of ignorance, we underestimate our capacity to control things. We don’t have absolute control over things. We can never have.
But that doesn’t mean we have no control. There are some things in our control. So in the mode of ignorance, we underestimate our capacity to control.
We just focus on, obsess over that which is not in our control and feel sorry for ourselves, feel powerless. On the other hand, in the mode of passion, we overestimate our capacity to control. We don’t see only what could go wrong.
everything will be done. But both are problematic. Because yes, we do have certain capacity to control things.
But there are also things which are not in our control. And we need to be aware of that and we need to be prepared for that. When one of my friends is a firefighter, so he told me that when they go to fight fires, they can go in danger both ways.
Sometimes some fire might be controllable, but they may think this is not in control and they may give up too early. And sometimes a fire may have gone out of control and now they just have to cut their losses and come back. This building cannot be saved.
So some firefighters, they give up too early. And some firefighters, they tend to give up, not give up on time only. And then sometimes they may put themselves in danger.
The fire may envelop them on all sides and they may die. So that’s why in general, if there is a major fire, there are people who are in action fighting the fire, but there is also a control in charge who is observing the full picture, who doesn’t get into the heat of the action. And okay, you know, you move back from here, you move forward over there.
So because when we are caught in the heat of the action, we will relapse to our normal tendencies. And for some of us, the normal tendency may be to overestimate our capacity to control if we are in the mode of passion. And for some of us, it may be to underestimate our capacity to control if we are in the mode of ignorance.
And unless there is someone watching the whole picture, so in the mode of goodness, when we are, we realistically estimate. You can see, okay, this is in my control. This is not in my control.
This is what I can do. This is what I can’t do. So when we have to do things, we plan our day.
I have to do 12 things today. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Now, okay, maybe out of this 6 or 7, we can do in one day. But we think, you know, I can do everything.
So one day we are in the mode of passion, I can do everything. We run around with high speed, high energy. Do this, do this, do this, do this.
And then despite our best efforts, we are not able to do all those 12 things. We may be able to do 3, 4 things and 2, 3, 4 things got complicated. And then the next day when we wake up, we don’t feel like getting out of the bed only.
Whatever I try to do, no matter how hard I work, things don’t work out. So why try anything? So one day we try to do 12 things. On the next day, we don’t try to do anything also.
Just quit. So one day we are in the mode of passion, where we’re trying to, we overestimated our capacity. And next day, we may underestimate our capacity.
So now, if we look back, what Krishna is saying is that these modes will come upon us. And they are like the weather. So when the mode of passion comes upon us, we will tend to overestimate what we can do.
In the mode of ignorance, we will tend to underestimate. So all of us, these emotions will come upon us in some ways of their own accord. And Krishna says, become detached from them.
Says, Be an observer. Be a detached observer. This is coming, this is going.
Let it come, let it go. And we say, what do you mean? The emotions are coming. How can I just become an observer of those emotions? So to understand this, let’s do a thought experiment.
So try to sit wherever you are. You can sit comfortably and close your eyes. And now you can take three deep breaths.
One. Take as deep a breath as possible. Two.
Three. Now with your eyes closed, try to look at what you see in front of you. Because your eyes are closed, you cannot see what is outside.
But still, you will see something like an inner screen. And on that screen, you may see various objects. You may see this room where you are sitting.
You may see your home. You may see a loud one. You may see food if you are hungry.
You may see a bed if you are tired. Different images we’ll see on that inner screen. And these images will keep coming and going.
Or sometimes we may just see a dull, colourless haze. But still, we see an inner screen on which that haze appears. That colourless pattern appears.
Now as you’re observing these various images on the inner screen, try to take a step backwards and try to look at who is looking at that inner screen. You are seeing various images in the inner screen. Now try to look at who is looking at this.
Now take a step back. Try again. Take a step back and instead of looking at the inner screen, look at the inner seer.
No matter how many steps you take back, the inner seer steps back with you. What you are looking for is what you are looking with. You are that inner seer.
You are the soul. The inner screen is the mind. Take one deep breath and then you can open your eyes.
Thank you. So, when we have normal perception, at that time, there are three things. There is the Panchatattva Bhagwan.
There is the outer sea. There is the inner screen and there is the inner seer. So, for example, right now, I am looking at you.
You are looking at me. So, when this is happening, say, I am a part of your outer sea and then this gets reproduced on the inner screen. So, the physical reality is out there.
That is a part of the outer sea. The inner screen is the mind. So, what is out there gets projected or replicated on the mind and we observe it.
So, in the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says that the mind is the integrator of the inputs coming from the senses. So, in 15.9, he says, the eyes, ears, from all of these, the inputs come in and they are presented on the mind. So, for proper perception, the inner screen should act like a window.
That means, whatever is out there, we should be able to see it. But sometimes, this inner screen, instead of acting like a window, starts becoming like a TV monitor and it starts showing something entirely different. So, that is when we become absent-minded.
Sometimes, you are talking with someone and then we can see that they are not being attentive. They are lost somewhere. And you say, earth to you, come back, come back.
So, it is like, what has happened? Physically, they are there only. But, the outer scene is the same, but the inner screen is showing something different. So, the inner screen is the mind on which the various inputs come in.
When the inner screen does not accurately reflect the outer scene, that is when our perception misfires. We perceive wrongly. Now, this inner screen, we could say, has its own default programmes.
And based on those default programmes, it will see certain things and not see certain things. Some people, they are very good at, say, interior design. So, as soon as they come into a room, they will see, you know, if you move the sofa here, you move this picture here, you change the colour of this curtain, this whole room will look much better.
And somebody else, they may come and say, something is wrong, but I can’t figure out what is wrong. And some people may say, they may not even notice that something is wrong. So, now, what has happened, for each of us, based on the way our mind is structured, certain perceptions jump up.
They become prominent. Somebody is an artist. If they come into this temple, oh, they look at this art, this art, that art, that’s what they will first look at.
And somebody is, now, it can just be about, this can be because of talents, or it can also be about situation. If I’m very hungry, if I come into a room, the first thing, is there any food anywhere? That’s what I’ll see. So, basically, what will appear on the inner screen will vary from person to person.
And, in many ways, we can’t control very much what will appear on our inner screen. It’s a default conditioning. But what we can do is, we can choose whether to focus on it or not.
So, to give, to expand or develop this analogy a little bit more, if we consider our computer screen, in that, there is one window that is maximised. And there may be many other windows that are minimised. And suppose something major needs attention, say, something needs to be updated, or say, the power has gone down, then we may have a particular window opened, but suddenly another window pops up over there and demands attention.
Connect the power cord, or do this, do that. So, there are, at a time, many windows open on the computer, some things which we want to open, and some things which open up of their own accord. And then we have to choose, okay, power, I’ll, although it’s low, I’ll work with it, I’ll do it, I’ll just minimise the window again.
So, in a sense, what appears on the inner screen, what appears on the computer monitor is important for us. But sometimes, some things that appear there are not in our control. Some, that is, some window just pops up over there.
So, similarly, if we consider, on our inner screen, there are, there are five senses from which inputs come up. So, for example, right now, if, say, you are hearing what I am speaking. So, then, from the eyes, you are looking at me.
With your ears, you are hearing me. And these two inputs are coming together. And then, the mind is integrating those inputs and presenting.
But while I am speaking to you, if, suddenly, say, from the kitchen, a delicious fragrance starts coming. Then what happens? The window coming from the nose that pops up, oh, what is this item? I want to know it, I want to taste it. And you start speculating, oh, maybe it’s this, maybe it’s that.
When can I get it? So, what happened? That window just popped up. Now, if we are, you know, I want to hear this class. Okay, I’ll get that prasad later.
We just switch the window back and focus on what we are hearing. So, now, in this case, what are we doing? On the mind screen, different things will pop up. But we, we can’t stop something from popping up.
But we can choose what we focus on. So, when Krishna says that, be detached, be an observer. That means that don’t identify with what has popped up on the screen.
Just because something has popped up, that doesn’t mean we have to identify with it and we have to act on it. Distance yourself from it and deal with it. Do I need to deal with this right now? Can it be dealt with later? Or is this something which I don’t want to deal at all? Sometimes we go into some website and then some, some other somebody, some ad pops up over.
Now, we don’t have to deal with it at all. So, now, when I talk about this example of, there’s the outer scene, the inner screen and the inner seer. So, most often, we don’t differentiate between the inner seer and the inner screen.
So, when some bad things happen in life, and something has gone wrong and you’re feeling worried about it, you’re feeling sad about it. So, basically, at that time, that perception, it’s like that window has opened up on our inner screen. It’s popped up over there.
Now, if I start looking at that, then what will happen? I start feeling more and more bad. To give a more graphic example, we might be watching, say, some comedy show on TV. And suppose somehow, somebody comes along and changes the channel.
And then suddenly, instead of a comedy, there’s a tragedy going on over there. And normally, if you’re watching a comedy and you’re enjoying it, and somebody changes it, who changed it? Look, who has got that remote? Why did you change it? I want to watch this. We’ll grab the remote and try to change it.
Because in this case, what has happened, although we are engrossed in watching the movie, we also understand there’s a difference. Now, how did this change over there? I didn’t want it to change. But in the case of our mind, we will see, at one moment, I’m feeling very good.
The next moment, I’m feeling so depressed. What happened? So what happened was, what was being displayed on the screen changed. But because I didn’t understand that, okay, the screen has changed, so I identified with it.
So at one moment, I was feeling good. The next moment, I started feeling bad. Now, in some cases, if you see, there are some pop-up windows that just don’t go away.
Sometimes the window is so big, and you try to look at the cross, you can’t find it anywhere. They have put the colour in such a way that you can’t even notice there’s a cross over there. Some windows are very difficult to minimise.
Then you might just put them in a corner and go on with our work. So similarly for us, certain windows will pop up in our mind. So if we have a tendency to worry a lot, then the worry window will pop up.
Now, if I say, actually, why am I feeling worried like this? No, that is a tendency of the mind. So we may not be able to control what pops up on the inner screen. But we can control whether I focus on it.
This worry is there, but not now. I’ll deal with it later. Right now, let me do this.
When we learn to differentiate between the inner screen and the inner seer, then we open a new avenue in our life. Why is that? Because then there can be unwanted emotions within us, but they don’t have to produce unwanted consequences within us. Yes, the bad feeling is there, but let it be there.
So I’ll give three examples to illustrate this, three different aspects, and then I’ll conclude this class. Then we can have some questions. What do I mean by unwanted emotions being there and not getting affected by them? So suppose we have a car which we want to sell.
It’s become old and it’s not working very well. Now, but somehow, we are not able to sell it. For the next three months, maybe the market is down or whatever, we have no chance of selling that car.
Now, that car is there in our garage. It is taking some space over there. We don’t want it over there, but we can’t get rid of it.
Now, what do we do with it? Okay, let it be there. I keep going and looking at this ugly car, you know, why is it there? I want to get rid of it. I’ll just make myself miserable.
Worse still, if I try to, I don’t want this car here, so I take a bar and smash the car. I just lose value so that I don’t want the car to be there, but I don’t waste my emotion in fighting its presence. I accept it is there.
It’ll be there for some time. I didn’t go on it. After three months, I’ll sell it.
The market comes up. Similarly, for us, sometimes negative emotions will come, and it’s not that we can ever welcome or want negative emotions. There may be depression.
There may be anxiety. There may be loneliness. When they come, what do we do? If we try to fight them off, quite often in trying to fight them off, we choose courses of action that degrade the quality of our life.
Just to not feel bad, I just go for entertainment, spend hours and hours just watching something just because I don’t want this bad feeling. Or I may take medication. I may take drugs, medical drugs or even addictive drugs.
So what is happening? I’m trying to fight that negative feeling that is there, but okay, let it be there. The negative feeling is there, like the consciousness has its waves. It’ll go up and down.
So this is the trough right now. It is there. That image has popped up on my screen.
Let it be there. I can’t get rid of it, but I’ll focus on something else. So when we accept, we don’t welcome it, we don’t want it, but we accept its presence and learn to live with it, then we can focus our energy elsewhere.
The second example is for udasinavadasinam. Krishna says, be detached. So he gives another example in the second chapter of the Bhagavad Gita.
It says, āpūryamānamacalapratīṣṭhaṁ samūdra-māpaḥ praviśanti yad vada tad vada kāmāyaṁ praviśanti sarve sa śāntimāpnoti na kāma kāmi So he says, just as rivers flow into an ocean, but they don’t disrupt the ocean. Similarly, desires flow into the consciousness of a spiritually advanced person also, but they don’t disturb that person. So it’s interesting that Krishna is talking about desires as something coming into us.
Normally we talk of desires as something going out from us, isn’t it? See that food item, I want to eat it. I see that movie, oh, I want to watch it. So desires we think flow out from us.
In fact, this is a compound word over here, kāma kāmi. Kāma kāmi would mean the desirer of desire. So what he means over here is that if there is a plateau and there is a plain and there’s an incline, the river is going to come into the ocean.
To try to stop the river from coming to the ocean is almost impossible. So similarly, from the external situations in the world, certain stimuli will come in and they will trigger certain emotions, certain desires within us. We can’t avoid that.
So bad things will happen in life and they will create bad emotions. Sometimes people will misunderstand us. Sometimes people will disappoint us.
Sometimes people will betray us. This is just what the way life is. We don’t want this to happen, but this will happen.
Now when this happens, then that’s like water coming into the ocean. We can’t stop that. But now if there is an ocean, the ocean is so big that the water flowing in will not, from a river will not affect it much.
But instead of an ocean, if there is a puddle, and then water comes in over there, everything will overflow, everything will get disrupted. So similarly, what we need to do is, we have to make our consciousness like an ocean. If our consciousness is like a puddle, when these waves come in, when unwanted emotions, they flow into our consciousness, they will disrupt us.
But if our consciousness is made like an ocean, then this will not affect us. So that means, if, going back to a computer screen example, if I’m just fooling around, I don’t have anything to do, and okay, I’m just surfing the net to find something interesting, and then something pops up, and I say, okay, let me watch this, what is this? It’s not going away, okay, let me continue watching it. But if I have a strong purpose, okay, tomorrow I have an exam and I have to study.
Say, you find somebody sends a message on Facebook Messenger. Okay, not now, I’ll see afterwards. If I have a strong sense of purpose about what I’m doing, and why it is important for me, then even if something pops up, I just put it aside and focus on what I’m going to do.
So similarly for us, we can’t control, we may not always be able to control what comes on the inner screen. But making, we can have a strong sense of purpose, what do I want to do? So if we look inwards and understand what our driving values are, what is it that is really important for me, and we focus on that, then even when something unwanted pops up on the screen, we will not give in to it. Sometimes we may feel that, we think that just because my emotions are not in my control, that means I’m not in control, that means I’m helpless.
No, it is not like that. We may not be able to control the emotions that come within us, the thoughts that come within us. But we can still control what we do with our hands and legs.
We can still control our actions. In fact, if you see sports, there is so much, if an important match is there and the final stage of the match is there, there is so much tension at that time. Now everybody feels that tension.
But some people are able to stay cool and some people crumble under the pressure. But those who stay cool, that doesn’t mean that they’re not feeling that tension. But they are focussing.
What can I do right now? Let me play. Let me play a bit. Some others start thinking, you know, if I play this wrong shot, I’ll get out.
And if I get out, we’ll lose and everybody will blame me. I’ll lose my place and this and that. And then just get overwhelmed by that.
So what we need to do is, we need to have a strong sense of purpose. And the spiritual knowledge of the Bhagavad Gita, especially the process of Bhakti Yoga, it is what gives us a strong sense of purpose. When we invoke Krishna’s presence in our consciousness by chanting his holy names, by worshipping the deities, by studying scriptures, essentially we are invoking him in our hearts.
And he is an infinite being. When he comes in our consciousness, our consciousness becomes like an ocean. When he becomes present over here in our hearts, he’s always present, but we are not aware of his presence.
So through the process of Bhakti Yoga, we become more and more attuned to his presence. And when we start sensing his presence, what does that mean? It’s not that we’ll start seeing Krishna in the heart. That will also happen, but that’s a long time away.
But we’ll start feeling peace. We’ll start feeling a sense of strength, a sense of satisfaction within us by our connection with Krishna. And that will help us to resist, to not be affected by the waves, by the rivers when they come in.
So for us, if we can focus on practising Bhakti in a consistent way, see Krishna here says, become a detached observer in 14.23. But if you go further down in the chapter, in the 26th verse, he says, how do you do all this? He says that if you practise Bhakti unflinchingly, then you will go beyond the modes. So at one level, you want to become an observer. That is, in Sanskrit, it’s called Sakshi Bhav, the mood of observer.
That is important. But Bhagavad Gita takes us further. Now most of, in today’s world, many people are practising mindfulness.
And it can be very helpful. That is all about cultivating Sakshi Bhav, becoming an observer. What kind of emotions are coming in? What kind of thoughts are coming in? Live in the present.
That means on the screen, something else is appearing. No, come back to the present. Look at what the scene is.
Make sure that the mind becomes a window. It doesn’t become a TV taking you somewhere else. So mindfulness is good.
That’s Sakshi Bhav. The Bhagavad Gita offers us something more. It says Seva Bhav.
Seva Bhav is a service attitude. That actually, there is a supreme controller. There is a supreme being who loves all of us and who cares for us, who wants the best for us.
And if we strive to connect with him, then he will empower us. By our own power, it is difficult to distance ourselves from the mind, to control the mind. But if we access his power, it becomes much easier.
When we focus on trying to connect with Krishna and invoke his presence, then that gives us inner strength and security. And when the mind starts behaving unpredictably, unwanted emotions start coming up, we can distance ourselves from it. Okay, this has happened.
This is okay. But I am sheltered in Krishna. And with that shelter, we can move onwards.
Now, we may feel that, this is the last example, I said, sometimes in taking shelter of Krishna, also the mind’s emotions come in the way. I want to chant, but I don’t feel like chanting. I want to come to the temple, but I don’t feel like coming to the temple.
The feelings come in the way at that time also. Yes, the feelings, the mind is what it is, whether we are trying to live materially or spiritually. The mind’s nature is what it is.
And we will require some effort, even to practise bhakti. But in bhakti, as I said, we are invoking the power of Krishna. So, if I have to lift a heavy weight, say, I have a big bag, 30-40 kg.
Now, lifting it is very difficult. Now, if I get a lever, and then I use a lever to lift it. Now, to operate the lever will also require some energy.
But that energy will be maybe like lifting 2-3-4 kg. And the multiplier effect is there. So, with that energy of 3-4 kg, I will be able to lift a 30-40 kg bag.
So, I require energy, but much lesser. Similarly, for us, when we are trying to practise bhakti also, we have to distance ourselves from our emotions. We have to persevere.
We have to focus. But if we do that, it will require some effort. But if we do that, it will have multiplier effect.
We put in the effort to connect with Krishna, to become absorbed in him. And then we will find that once we have the purpose of connecting with Krishna, when the other windows pop up, no, I don’t want this. We will focus on trying to close the window.
We just focus on the screen which we want to focus on. And that way, we will find that the emotions which we go through, they will not trouble us that much. They will come.
They will go. We will be their observers. We will be their evaluators.
But we will not be carried away by them. We distance ourselves from them and move on with life. So, the process of bhakti yoga helps us ultimately to manage our emotions most effectively.
And for doing this, it is not just our effort. It is Krishna helping us. Sometimes we may feel that, oh, you know, I am too pessimistic.
I am worried too much. I have this problem. I have that problem.
We have many weaknesses. But these weaknesses can all be dealt with if we just connect with Krishna. Our greatest weakness is our unwillingness to believe that Krishna loves us.
Right now, as we are, Krishna loves us. If by associating with devotees, if by practising bhakti, if we can just develop a small amount of this faith that Krishna loves us, Krishna cares for us, Krishna wants the best for us, Krishna is willing to offer the best to us. We just have to try as much as we can to connect with him.
If that faith can come upon us, then, or we can say, we can choose that faith. Okay, I’ll try to have this faith. And we step forward.
Then we’ll find an enormous level of empowerment coming up. Not to control or wish away our negative emotions, but to work with them and to work through them. The mind may not change, but our attitude towards the mind will change.
Our capacity to deal with the mind will become better. And that way, even in this life, we’ll find ourselves becoming much more empowered, much more effective, much more enriched in our life. As we move towards Krishna, where there is the supreme empowerment, the supreme enrichment, the supreme joy awaiting us eternally.
I’ll summarise. I spoke today about how to manage our emotions. The Bhagavad Gita speaks that we ask us to become an observer of our emotions.
So I started by talking about the three modes. So goodness means there is first contemplation, then action. Passion means first action, then contemplation.
And ignorance means neither action nor contemplation. So now, in all situations, there’s something in our control, something not in our control. So in the mode of ignorance, we obsess over that which is not in our control and we underestimate our capacity to control.
In passion, we just focus on what is in our control and we overestimate our capacity. In goodness, we estimate properly what is in our control, what is not in our control. So for some of us, some emotions may just come upon us and we can’t avoid them.
So we can treat our emotions like the weather. It is going to affect us, but it doesn’t have to control us. We don’t try to control the weather, we learn to live with it.
Similarly, we don’t have to try to control or wish away negative emotions. We live with it and we work with them. And many of the things that we do are because we feel that we shouldn’t have bad feelings.
I shouldn’t feel lonely. I shouldn’t feel depressed. I shouldn’t feel worried.
And so we do activities that degrade the quality of our life. We may just obsess with entertainment almost in maniac proportions or we may take medicinal drugs to get rid of the bad feelings or we may even do substance abuse, getting addicted to things. So if we understand that the consciousness is like a sine wave and there will be crests and there will be troughs, just like the weather keeps oscillating.
We don’t have to fight or rail against the troughs. They will come, they will go. And for that purpose, we need to distance ourselves from it.
So because of technology having given us so much capacity to control externals, we think that we are the controllers and we think we should be able to control the internals also in terms of I should not have bad feelings. No, they will come and let me live with them. And for how to live with them and work through them, I talked about the thought experiment.
The outer scene is the physical reality. The inner screen is the mental reality. And the inner seer is the spiritual reality, the soul.
So just as we can’t control many of the things that happen in the outer world, like we can’t control the weather, similarly, we can’t control many of the things that just pop up on the inner screen. Each of us has a mind which will be inclined in particular ways. So just as some people just feel cold, there’s no point telling them don’t feel cold.
Like that some people just feel worried, can’t tell them don’t feel worried. So that worry, the thought of things going wrong will come up with it. That’s a window that will automatically pop up.
What is up to them is whether they focus on the window or they focus on something else. So the mind can function as a window showing us the physical reality. It can function as a TV showing us something else.
And from the different senses, inputs come in. So there are many windows open inside. And when we try to avoid negative feelings, we just focus on trying to close the window.
But to focus instead on what we want to do, what is important for us. So I talked about when the unwanted window opens up, we just accept it and move on. Like I have a car which I don’t want, but I can’t sell it right now.
So I live with it. I don’t keep looking at the car. I move forward and go on with my life.
So if we have a strong sense of purpose, then we won’t let ourselves be inordinately affected by the negative emotions. And similarly, the second example was of an ocean. That water will come into the ocean.
Rivers will come in. But if the body into which they’re coming is a puddle, it will be disrupted. If it’s an ocean, nothing much will happen.
So to try to stop negative emotions coming into our consciousness is like trying to stop a river. Very difficult. What we can do is change our consciousness from a puddle to an ocean by invoking the presence of Krishna in our heart.
So the process of Bhakti Yoga connects us with Krishna. And when Krishna is present within us, we realise his presence. Then we feel strength.
We feel security. We feel satisfaction. And that helps us to deal with the lows of our emotional oscillations.
And for connecting with Krishna also, we need to sometimes work through our emotions. But that work is much lesser. It’s like to lift a 30 kg weight, I use a lever.
I exert only 3 kg work of energy I have to exert. Similarly, if we use whatever little capacity to manage our inner world that we have, to try to connect with Krishna, that will have a multiplier effect. And the rest of our life also, our capacity to manage our emotions will become much better.
And by connecting with Krishna, we’ll become more effective, more empowered and more enriched. And this life itself ought to speak of the next. Thank you very much.
Hare Krishna. Thank you. Are there any questions or comments? Yes.
What is an impulsive emotion? Is it when rivers go into a flooding stage and you take everything down with them? Okay, yeah. Thank you. So what is an impulsive emotion? You can have a seat.
You are able to, thank you. So now if this floor is inclined in this way, if water falls on the floor, then the water will automatically flow in this direction. Even if I do not want to, it will flow in this direction.
And depending on how inclined the floor is, that much the water will flow faster. So similarly, if we consider our inner world to be like a floor, each one of us has a floor that is inclined in a particular way. Say somebody is an alcoholic.
And for them, as soon as they see a bottle of alcohol, immediately their consciousness flows over there. Their floor is extremely inclined in that direction. Somebody is, say, mad about cricket.
And as soon as they hear about a cricket match, they just cannot think about anything else. So how do you watch that cricket match? How do you look at the score? Look, the floor is inclined in that direction. So basically, our impulses are largely determined by how our mental floor is inclined.
So whichever way our mental floor is inclined, that is where our thoughts and emotions flow very fast and flow very forcefully. And what do we do about them? At that time, when they start coming, it’s very difficult to resist them. Just willpower is not enough.
If the floor is inclined in this way, I say, water should not flow like this. Water should not flow like this. But it’s going to flow.
If the floor is inclined, willpower alone will not stop it. So if I don’t want the water to flow, what do I have to do? I have to create some ball, some bantam. Okay, no.
I create a barrier. Water can’t flow in this direction. And then I’ll have to physically push the water in the other direction.
So when impulses come up, say anger comes up, suddenly I feel like shouting at someone. I’m blasting at someone. That means that the emotion is flowing very rapidly in that direction.
So at that time, if I have some barrier, that means I decide that I just take a few deep breaths. I chant some mantras. Or more important, I anticipate, in this situation, I’m going to explode.
So better let me not get into the situation right now. Later on when I’m calmer, then I’ll deal with the situation. I don’t have to deal with it right now.
So if we can create restrictions, basically to deal with impulses, first is restriction. Don’t give the opportunity to go in that direction. Then there is redirection.
Find some mechanism by which we can push our thoughts in the other direction. Like push the water. So that’s where if we have cultivated some healthy attachments.
If we like spiritual music, when I’m feeling angry, when the impulse is coming up, I just hear some kirtans. What happens? They say, take my thoughts towards Krishna. And then that is one way I use to push my consciousness.
And gradually when we become, by the steady practise of bhakti, we become purified. Purification means the inclination of the mental flow itself changes. Instead of being inclined in the direction of lust or anger or greed, it starts getting inclined towards Krishna.
So this is going to take a long time, but it will also happen by the steady practise of bhakti. So is the puddle our ego? Yes, when we are too self-obsessed, then at one level we think I’m a very big person. Ego means to think I’m very big.
But actually, when we think of ourselves, we may think I’m very big, but we actually make ourselves very small. Because our ego disconnects us from the one who is supremely big. What happens because of the ego is that our consciousness gets reduced to self-centredness.
And if we have the capacity to control, we feel very powerful. But when situations come where we just can’t control, then we can get not just depressed, but devastated. Because we feel that if I can’t control, what can I do? I’m helpless.
I have defined my sense of self-worth based on my capacity to control. And when that capacity is lost, I have no self-worth left. That’s why the ego is what reduces the ocean of our consciousness to a puddle.
And when we connect with bhakti, we connect with Krishna, with a devotional attitude, then the walls created by the ego break, and our consciousness expands to the level of the ocean. Okay? Thank you. Any other questions or comments? Yes.
I really enjoyed your lecture. That was very applicable. And particularly your analogy about the sine wave with the trough, and the baseline changing was… Thank you.
Thank you. Yes, please. I think that was a very important point you made about how we need to put Krishna first.
We have to, like, no matter what other goals we have, the main goal has to be our development of Krishna consciousness. Yeah. Yes.
Thank you. Thank you. Any other comments or questions? Yes, please.
Can you just repeat your metaphor that you used on consciousness in the ocean? Okay. What is the metaphor of the consciousness in the ocean? Basically, our consciousness is, we could say, expandable. Or it can be contractable.
Say, if somebody is very attached to a particular thing. Say, somebody, many people in India are very attached to cricket. So, I met one boy in India.
There’s a sports cricket final between India and Pakistan, and India was expected to win but lost very badly. So, this boy told me after that, for three nights I couldn’t sleep. Now, he was in India, this match had happened in England, and the match was already over.
But what had happened? Because of the attachment, the consciousness was caught in that match. How could India play like this? How could India lose? So, attachment constricts our consciousness. When we are attached to something, we feel emotions only in relationship with that.
And we just can’t perceive other things also. That is all that matters to us. So, based on what kind of attachment we have, accordingly our consciousness may get constricted.
And to the extent that consciousness is constricted, so if my consciousness is caught in cricket, then my consciousness has become like a puddle. It has basically become like a, it is caught in the cricket. And if anything goes wrong with respect to that cricket match, that will be like a river.
Hey, India lost. How could India lost? How could this player play like this? How could this happen? How could that happen? So, now somebody may not have that attachment to cricket. And for them, the same match result has no effect.
Or very little effect. Because their emotions are not invested in that. So, where our emotions are invested, what is the nature of that object, determines the size of our consciousness.
So, when we strive to become attached to Krishna, Krishna is the biggest reality. He is not just the best of all beings. And many think, okay, there are many people and God is supreme.
So, we think of God as the best of all beings. But that is only one understanding of God. God is actually the basis of all being.
That means nothing can exist without Him. Everything that exists comes from Him. Everything that exists rests in Him.
So, that means that if we connect with Krishna, we are connecting with the foundation of everything. So, we may still have our particular interests, our particular goals, our particular concerns. But all of them are included in this meta-set of Krishna.
When I say, okay, I need to get this done. This is my responsibility. I need to do this.
This is what I am worried about. But I understand that Krishna is the supreme controller. And even if I can’t make this work, Krishna will make it work.
Maybe not the way I want it. Maybe not according to my plan. But Krishna will make it work.
So, that focus on Krishna, because Krishna is the biggest reality, the focus on Krishna, the investment of our emotions in Krishna, it broadens, it expands our consciousness. And to the extent our consciousness is expanded, to that extent, when some things go wrong, that’s like an ocean, like a river coming into the consciousness. Okay, it will affect us, but not that much.
Because our consciousness is big. If I am focused on Krishna, I am attached to Krishna, I understand that Krishna is the supreme controller. Krishna will, bad things may happen, but Krishna will bring good out of the bad.
So, then that focus, okay, this bad thing has happened, okay, it’s happened, I’ll deal with it. Then it’s like a river coming in, it doesn’t affect me so much. So, the expansion of our consciousness, so that it focusses on Krishna, that makes our consciousness like an ocean.
And then the disruption of our consciousness by unruly emotions is less likely. Okay, thank you. Yes, please.
Thank you so much for your words. Thank you, Ambaji. Happy to be of service to you, Krishna.
So, you gave examples of how we can expand our consciousness by coming to the temple, association and chanting. So, what is the quickest way for a person who’s new or who hasn’t been into bhakti before, what is the quickest way to connect with Krishna and expand our consciousness? What is the quickest way to connect with Krishna and expand our consciousness? For us, the most important factor is association. Because it is through spiritual association that we learn about Krishna, we learn about ways to connect with Krishna, and we learn about which way will work best for us.
So, ultimately, we all have our particular nature. So, each of us, as I said, our consciousness is inclined in particular ways. And now, this inclination is not always bad.
There is some good also in that. Somebody is of artistic bent of mind. Somebody is more of a managerial bent of mind.
Somebody is more of an intellectual bent of mind. That means, in that direction, their consciousness will flow naturally. So, if somebody is of a musical bent of mind, and if they get an opportunity to participate in spiritual music, they’ll connect very quickly with it.
If somebody is intellectual bent of mind, and they get some philosophical analysis, they’ll connect quickly with it. So, the process of bhakti is inclusive. And if we come in the association of devotees, then we will be guided towards what works best for us.
So, in this particular age, the chanting of the holy names is considered the primary way for connecting with Krishna. So, that is a standard process. The holy name of Krishna can act as an elevator for our consciousness to take it from the material level to the spiritual level.
So, there is a standard process of sadhana bhakti centred on chanting the holy names, associating with devotees. Along with that, there is an individualised aspect of bhakti. So, we have to find out how best we can connect with Krishna.
And all this we learn if we come in association. If we just learn to be in association, and then our desires will become spiritualised. And then we will ourselves find our way.
Okay, this is what I can do best. This is what I can do best. So, Krishna Prabhupada created this International Society for Krishna Consciousness primarily to offer association.
And through that association, each individual will be able to connect with Krishna according to the way that is the most effective for them. Okay, thank you. Thank you very much.
So, today I’ll continue with the topic of learning to live with the mind.