“Love yourself” – what is Vedic perspective on this idea?

Transcript

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Question. Nowadays, it is a common slogan that we should love ourselves.
So, what is the spiritual perspective on this statement or on this idea? Answer. There are two extremes to this. If loving ourself means becoming self-centered and selfish, where one thinks only about oneself and about nobody else, then that is definitely unhealthy from a spiritual point of view.
And from a material point of view, relationships cannot sustain unless there is a culture of service and sacrifice and selflessness. So, that sort of, as we call people, I specialists, you know, I specialists, that people are thinking about themselves. So, that if loving oneself leads to that kind of behavior, then that is definitely undesirable.
That kind of love is anti-spiritual and it can even be anti-social. But there is another point is that it’s not that there has, if we take the pendulum to the other extreme, there should not be any self-hatred or self-condemnation. Nowadays, in today’s culture, because we are, we live in a very competitive world of commercialization and advertisements.
So, we are often bombarded with media images of perfection. So, a person with a perfect looks, with a perfect physique, with the perfect smile, with the perfect speech. And when we compare ourselves with these kind of specimens of perfection, we start feeling inferior and we start loathing ourselves, thinking that I am not good enough, I am unworthy, I am good for nothing.
And this sort of self-hatred or self-condemnation is also unhealthy. So, this happens a lot, the sort of inferiority complex that comes because of that can be very dangerous psychologically. And the idea of loving oneself is often talked about as a counter to this concept of hating oneself or disliking oneself.
So, we cannot we cannot change ourselves unless we admit where we are. So, and we don’t have to be embarrassed necessarily about admitting where we are because we can always improve. So, just like a patient is sick, the health can be improved, but the health cannot be improved as long as the patient stays in the denial mode, thinking that I am not sick at all.
So, that way, of course, this doesn’t mean that just because somebody doesn’t have very good looks or somebody doesn’t have a perfect physique, that does not mean that person is sick. But the point is that if we have a sort of self-loathing or self-hatred or self-condemnatory attitude, then that can be psychologically unhealthy for us. And that makes us unenthusiastic about doing anything, shouldering our responsibilities in our professional life or in our spiritual life, anywhere.
So, that sort of thing is definitely undesirable. Now, if you look at it from a spiritual perspective, the scriptures tell us that love is the central reality of life in the sense that at the highest level in the spiritual world, even God, who is the absolute truth, who is the supreme, subordinates himself so that love can reign supreme. So, love is the highest reality even in the spiritual world.
And love is the reality that will purify us also in this world. So, now, if we truly love God, then we love his creation also. And a part of his creation is we ourselves.
So, if we love God, then that also leads to not a self-centered or egoistic kind of love, but an acceptance of who we are, a sense of self-esteem that comes because we know that no matter what limitations we have, no matter what whatever problems we may be having, but still Krishna loves us and Krishna considers us worthy of his love. And based on that understanding of who we are, we move forward and we develop our potential, whether it is materially or spiritually. So, a devotee’s understanding is, yes, as soul, I am pure, I am a part of God and Krishna is all-attractive and that’s having some of his qualities, a spark of his splendor, I am also attractive, but I am covered over by contaminations right now.
And if I follow the path of duty and responsibility and try to practice bhakti yoga to serve Krishna with my resources, then by that, I will become purified. And by becoming purified, my original spiritual glory will become manifested. So, now, so that means the soul at the center as I am, I am definitely, because we love Krishna, so we love that soul also.
But at a practical level, this, so this loving ourselves should not lead to a justification of how we are, because there is much that we can improve in ourselves. And we cannot improve ourselves unless we recognize that there are things wrong which are yet to be improved. So, we understand that at our core, we are pure, we are lovable at our core, and that core can be recovered by steady practice of purification.
And therefore, we do whatever we have to do responsibly, competently. And by that, we move forward. So, just like a patient who understands that I am sick, but my disease is not incurable.
It is curable. Therefore, I accept that I am sick right now. But that doesn’t mean that I have to hate myself because I’m sick.
But at the same time, I shouldn’t become complacent, thinking that everything is all right, and things are nice. And I love myself, and there’s nothing that I need to do to improve myself. So, I need to work so that I cure myself.
So, by looking at, if we look within, we can find some things which are likable within us. And there are many things which we find which are unlikable within us. Now, we may have a short temper, or we may have whatever, we may find that we have undesirable behavioral trends or whatever.
So, we need to those which can be rectified, we work to rectify them. Those which can be rectified, for example, if I am born with a dark complexion instead of a fair complexion. Now, I may feel bad about it, and I may look down upon myself because of that.
But we understand that this is external to me. You know, this is, the Bhagavatam says that, you know, the soul is neither tall, nor short, nor fat, nor thin, nor fair, nor dark. The soul is Aditya Varnam Tamasah Parastha.
The soul is effulgent beyond all darkness. That is who we are. So, there are some aspects of our being that we say, okay, this is the way I am, but it doesn’t really matter.
I accept it and move forward. Some aspects of our being, which we can change and should change, as there is a famous prayer that, Oh, God, give me the strength to change the things which I can change, the serenity to accept the things that I can’t change, and the wisdom to know the difference between the two. So, this in one sense is the practical way in which we can apply the idea of loving ourselves.
That means there is a central core of ours, which is pure, and which we try to reclaim that soul, that spiritual core of ours. And for that, we change certain things which are changeable, which needs to be changed. And there are certain things which are not changeable, we don’t bother about, we accept them, and then we move forward.
So, loving itself as a phrase, it is very vague. And depending on the way it is interpreted and applied, it can either lead to selfishness, or it can lead one towards confident practice