Mapping our inner territory – Anartha nivritti explained from Madhuraya Kadambini

Retreat at Ballarat, Session 3

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Transcript

Disclaimer: This transcript was generated using AI and may contain occasional errors or inaccuracies.

We are discussing from the Madhuri Kathamani, Mapping our Inner Territory. The Madhuri Kathamani is basically a book by Shri Vishwanath Chakravarti Thakur, which is based on a book by N. G. Nixley. So I'll explain what the Map of the Inner Territory means and how to describe it.

So, how we navigate an inner journey? That is briefly described by Suta Goswami in the Srimad Bhagavatam, the second chapter, which is entitled by Shri Raghupala as Divinity and Divine Service. So in that, the verses from 6 to 22 comprise a concise description of Bhagavata Dharma. And within that, 16 to 20, they describe the transformation of the heart that happens when we practice Bhakti.

So, actually this section is the most quoted section from the Bhagavatam by our Acharyas. And Raghupala often quotes, in fact, when Raghupala goes to Swami Markandeya Bhagavat Dharma, that song is in Bengali, but within that he quotes verses from this section. These verses, because they depict the process by which Bhakti transforms our hearts.

Now that has been taken by Srila Rupa Goswami and he has elaborated that in Bhakti-rasamudra-sindhu, specifically in two verses of Bhakti-rasamudra-sindhu. What is described in those 4-5 verses, he analyses in further stages. And what Bhakti-rasamudra-sindhu describes as 9 stages, we will discuss them now.

Within that, one stage is further elaborated by Srila Viswanatha Chakravarthy of how we basically move forward in. May I, with the Bhagavatam class, may I at least sing these words? Bhaktir bhuvati naishthiki. Narayanam asmitya nam jevanam tam, evim sarasvatim yatam, to jayam udayetu, naishtha prayeshv abhiteshu nityam bhagat sevayah, bhagvatir uttama-yog-sevake bhaktir bhuvati naishthiki.

So naishthiki bhakti. Prabhupada says that Bhakti becomes an irrevocable fact in the heart. So naishthiki means unshakable, unbreakable.

It becomes that level of Bhakti, how one can attain, that is what is analysed in these stages. So, the 9 stages which have been described by Rupa Goswami, Bhaktir-rasamudra-sindhu. So the first stage is Shraddha.

Shraddha means we have initially initially faith that there is something more in life. That, ok the life that I am living, I am earning money, I am pursuing pleasure and pleasure, I am achieving position and power, all this is ok. But there must be something more in my life.

So Sri Prabhupada explains the Shraddha as favourable spiritual curiosity. That means is there something spiritual, is there something more to life? And everyone in the world at some time or the other gets this question. Now either it may come because of seeing the sudden destructiveness and perishability of material things or it may come because of we achieve our dreams and then we think isn't it really satisfying, is there something more in my life, there should be something more.

So that, if that starts off as Shraddha, we start enquiring, that brings us to Sadhusangha, the association of devotees. Now when we come in the association of devotees, that is basically spiritually minded people, where we start enquiring, we start enquiring, ok, what is this spiritual stuff? For example, we come to some program, why don't we get some books and then we come to a temple. So this Sadhusangha is where the Shraddha is further developed.

Now these nine stages are not discrepancies in the sense that it is not that the previous stage ends and the next stage begins. They are like steps in a ladder. If you consider the step, it is one step, next step.

The second step is built on the first step. The third step is built on the second step. So that means, you know, it is not that when we start developing Sadhusangha, Shraddha gets over.

No, Shraddha gets stronger. When we start practicing Bhajan Kriya, the third step, it is not that we stop doing Sadhusangha. No, Sadhusangha also goes on.

The future stages are built on the previous stages. So the stages are overlapping and rising. Now, in the Sadhusangha, when we come in association with devotees, then we come to know that, yes, there is a higher side to life, higher spiritual side, and there is a process by which we can experience it.

And that process is Bhajan Kriya, when we start practicing Bhakti. Devotion is not just a feeling. That's what our Acharya said.

Devotion is actually a doing. That's what Prabhupada translated as Bhakti, not just as devotion. He translated it as devotion service.

So devotion is a doing. That doing, Anushi, Vrindavan. That is what we do in Bhajan Kriya.

We chant, we do Vritti Varshi, we do various kinds of services. And by this, when we start doing this, then we come to the fourth stage, that is Anam Kriya. So, going further, love is not just a feeling.

It's a doing. And in that doing, love is also a choosing. Choosing.

Now, if, in this relationship also, if a man and a woman say that they are in love with each other, then if the woman sees that this man is also flirting with so many other men, do you think that you are not really loving me? So, love is not just a doing. It's not just a feeling. It's a doing.

And that doing involves choosing. So, there are Narottas in our life which we have to refuse to choose when we choose Krishna. So, Anam Kriya means that those things which take us away from Krishna, we refuse them.

And then when we do that, from Anam Kriya comes Nishtha. So, Shraddha and Nishtha are both faith. But Shraddha is more of a favorable curiosity.

Whereas, Nishtha is realized conviction. It is realized conviction. So, for example, if say, I have been having a cough for a long time.

And I have tried many doctors, but nothing has worked for me. So, then I hear from somebody that there is a good doctor, and he cures. So, then I might just have favorable cures.

Let me go and check it out. But after I follow the prescription, and then I am cured, then there is no doubt left. There is a good doctor.

This medicine works. So, we, if we ask ourselves cured, then it's not just a curiosity. It's a realized conviction for us.

So, when we come to the level of Nishtha, we have seen the process of bhakti work in our life. We have seen our heart getting transformed. We have seen our Narottas going down.

We have seen our attraction to Krishna increasing. And at that time, this faith becomes very strong. So, the Acharya gives an example that initially at the stage of Shraddha, the faith is like a banana tree.

It is just Nishekhan. But at the stage of Nishtha, the faith is like a banyan tree. The deep roots.

It can't be shaken. So, Nishtha is strong faith which comes by the practice of a Narottam Guru. By the practice that feeds one of the Gurus.

And then after that are advanced stages. So, Nishtha means we have convinced that this process works. But after that comes Bhuji.

It's a wonderful thing of the bhakti is that normally when we are sick, now say, if you are sick, you take this diet and you take this medicine. So, usually we don't like the diet, we don't like the medicines. But we follow it.

So, initially in the stage of Vaidhi Bhakti or Sadhana Bhakti, when we do things because they make sense to us. We know that I should be doing this because it will be good for me. But we don't like it.

So, our idea normally when we follow a diet or when we take a medicine is that okay, after I am cured, then I will take a real feast. I will eat a Kada. I will eat a feast.

But Bhakti is such that, that which is our diet and medicine, that itself transforms into a feast. So, what we think, I have to do it as a regulation, as a discipline, that itself transforms into something very religious. So, that is the stage of Ruchi.

In the previous stages also, we have some attraction, some taste. But in the stage of Ruchi, it becomes a very strong, intense tasting Bhakti. Now, from Ruchi comes Asakti.

Now, the primary difference between Ruchi and Asakti is, in both there is higher spiritual experience. But, in Ruchi, the focus is on the process. If I like to dance, I just like the exuberance, the energy of dancing and singing.

And I like the whole thing. But in Asakti, it is not just the process, but the person to whom we are offering the process. That becomes the focus.

We are not just singing and dancing, we are remembering Krishna while singing and dancing. So, that Asakti, Ruchi is taste in the process of Bhakti. Asakti is attachment to the object of Bhakti, that is Krishna.

So, in that sense, it is a step forward. And then there is Bhava. Bhava means spiritual emotion.

So, we all experience some spiritual emotion occasionally now. But in the stage of Bhava, there is steady and strong spiritual emotion that is experienced. So, whenever we perceive Krishna in our life, there will be a strong spiritual emotion at that time.

And after that is Prema. So, Bhava is like the rising sun. Prema is like the rising sun.

So, there are these progressive stages where, at the stage of Prema, there is constant and total attraction to Krishna. One is filled with love for Krishna. And from Shraddha to Prema is an inner journey.

And it is a journey of our consciousness. Now, modern science is primarily experimental. We take an object outside and we subject it to an experiment.

Okay, put this chemical, change the temperature, increase the pressure, whatever. We see what changes happen. Bhakti is also a science.

But this is a science in which we are not the subject of the experiment. We are not the performer of the experiment. But we are also the object of the experiment.

That means we are performing the experiment on ourselves. And in that sense, Bhakti is the experiment that involves experience. So, modern science is experimental science.

Bhakti is an experiential science. Experienced in that. And this is a science because it is a traceable, repeatable process.

It is not just that, Oh, you feel good when you chant Hare Krishna. Yes, that is good. You feel good while chanting Hare Krishna.

But as we keep practicing, there will be a systematic inner transformation that will happen. And this itself, we can elaborate and have a separate class. But this is us.

How many of you have heard about these 9 series before? Okay. How many of you have heard of systematic classes on these 9 series? Okay, very good. Okay, fine.

So, I will not go into these 9 series right now. This is just a brief introduction. What Rupa Goswami does is, he expands on Rupa Goswami, Vishwanath Chaturthi, the 4th stage of this is Anartha Givunti.

How we give up the things that misdirect us in Bhakti. He takes that and he analyzes that into 6 stages. And that is what we will be focusing on.

So, if time permits, we can discuss this also later. So, the 6th stage is Anartha Givunti. This is what comes in Madhuri Kadal Mani.

Madhuri Kadal Mani is basically like a cloud bank of nectar. So, if you are in a forest or if you are in a desert, and they are parched, then if rain falls, it is very comforting. But do not say, imagine nectar falls.

It is so much more delightful. There are different clouds of nectar that come in. So, in the 2nd cloud, in the 7th verse, he talks about these 6 stages.

The 6 stages are Utsahamai, Ghanatarlamai, Yudhamikalpa, Vishaya Sangraha, Niyamakshama, and Tarangarani. So, in the internal Sanskrit, but the concepts are very very relatable. So, what is Utsahamai? Utsahamai is basically the zeal and the pride of a new convert.

Whenever they start something new, I am doing something new. Yes. So, probably a relatable example could be nowadays there is so much beauty is equated with a slim figure and everybody is conscious.

I want to lose my weight. So, suppose we find some new weight loss regimen and we start practicing that. Then what happens? We are practicing and we are constantly checking the weight.

Is my weight losing? And then after we are losing the weight, we want everyone to notice that the weight is lost. And then what happens at that time? Primarily, the focus is not whether I am changing, really changing my eating habits. Whether I am actually eating healthy to sustain a less weight.

It is primarily on just losing weight and showing everyone that I have lost weight. So, like that, in the first day of Bhakti, there is enthusiasm. Yes, I found a new path.

And I have found a new path. And because I have found a new path, then I am very excited. And I want to show everyone.

Oh, I have changed now. I am a different person. I am a devotee.

This, this, this. So, there is a pride, there is a zeal, but that zeal is not for substantial inner transformation. It is more for showing others that I have transformed.

And with that, we focus very much on wanting to convince and convert others. And yes sir, if we are following some diet, you know, many, there are, there are of course ways to lose weight in a healthy way, but there are some diets where people, people regulate their diet in a very unrealistic way for maybe a few days and they lose a lot of weight and afterwards they gain all that weight and they gain more also. So, initially when they are lost to it, they feel, yeah, I have lost weight.

And then at that time, if temporarily they follow a very strict diet, and at that time, when they follow a very strict diet, they are also very judgmental of others. You are eating so much. So, like that, in the initial season of Bhakti, we, first we have doubts, but once the doubts are over and we start practicing Bhakti, at that time, we become very judgmental of others.

Hey, you are doing this, you are not doing me, you are doing this, you are doing that, you are doing that. It's so foreign. And that judgmentality is because we are, at that time, utsaha main.

So, main, utsaha, main is full of utsaha and enthusiasm. Now, utsaha, enthusiasm is a very good thing, but enthusiasm should be for inner transformation. It is not just for outer ostentation.

Ostentation is the split. When the enthusiasm is primarily for outer ostentation, say, I am doing this, I am doing that, I am doing that. Then, sometimes, in a fast of Ekadashi, a fast nirjan, and when they are fasting nirjan, we, we are so proud of fasting nirjan, then we go around and see who all is eating what.

You are eating so much. You are eating so much. So, our body is fasting, but our ego is feasting.

So, that sort of practice is utsaha main, where our focus is very much on a show of what we are doing. And because of that, we start thinking that I am the best. You know, Jesus said that if you do charity with one hand, don't let the other hand come to do that you do charity.

Since if you are fasting, since dress yourself in such a way that nobody comes to do it, you are fasting. Just be enthusiastic. So, the idea is not to show offshore what we are doing.

So, at this stage, because you are so, so judgmental, so everything, my path is the right path. For everyone else, it's wrong. Similarly, this can happen within, within the Nakti community also.

You know, my temple is the best temple. My guru is the best guru. My counselor, my mentor is the best mentor.

Basically, bhakti at this stage, bhakti is ultimately meant to, meant to bring about a destruction of our policy. But at this stage, bhakti is simply an extension of our policy. Bhakti becomes an extension of our policy.

So, my guru is the greatest guru. Why? Because I am the leader. So, so, I am great, therefore my guru must be great.

So, it's basically the, whatever we do in material life to, in material life also sometimes people do something different. And they want everyone to know that I am doing something different. So, that way, spiritual life, we also do something different.

And we want everyone to know that I am doing something different. So, at this stage, the utsaha, the enthusiasm is there. But enthusiasm is primarily for external reasons.

One may practice also very strictly. But one is practicing primarily because of what everyone else should know. How well I am practicing.

So, I may sit erect and chant all my rams. And sitting erect, no, I am sitting erect but I am looking who is sleeping. No, who is distracted.

And in all this process, actually, I completely forget that I am not attentive. And we don't miss anything while chanting except Krishna. Everything else, we just think everyone else did that.

Hey, you are not pronouncing the mantra properly. You are simply chanting. Why are you so restless? So, what happens? We follow strictly but we judge others too much.

And because of that, two things happen. One is, we ourselves don't advance much. So, our focus is not on Krishna.

And second is, we alienate others. We alienate others. And this can especially happen with respect to our relatives, our friends.

When we are associating with them, they are not yet convinced. And they may be practicing something else. We become always very judgmental.

For example, if we are worshipping Krishna and say we come from a family or from a social circle where demigod worship is being practiced. We say, demigod worshippers. Alpameda sahab.

Now, actually, this is not just insensitive, it is incorrect. Why? Because that is only one part of the story. Krishna does say, but Krishna speaks from different perspectives.

And if you see, this was Alpameda sahab in the 7th chapter. But in the 17th chapter, Krishna talks about Shraddhatra Vibhav, faith in the three modes. And there he says, He says, those who are in goodness, they worship devatas.

And those who are in passion, and those who are in passion, they worship the yaksha and the rakshasas. Yesterday we discussed about black magic. So, worshipping spirits is something that hasn't come out.

So, the important point for us is, Krishna is saying that worship of devatas is in the mode of goodness. Now, we may also have heard about how people in goodness worship Vishnu, people in passion worship Brahma, people in ignorance worship Shiva. Now, that is true at one level.

But, the point is that there are levels in this. To worship any higher being, that requires some platform of goodness. Without some basic goodness, one will not follow scripture, or at least follow scripture partially and worship some devata.

So, following many gods, or worshipping many gods, is actually a sign of goodness. We should not think that, oh, somebody is worshipping Shiva, that they are in the lower modes or anything like that. They may themselves be very devoted to Shiva and they may be following the books of Shiva worship very diligently.

So, it's like, within goodness, we can have further levels. Within goodness, so, if we consider goodness to be one goodness, passion, ignorance. See, goodness is not just one color.

In goodness also, just like we may say, there is a blue color. Now, within blue color also, there is sky blue, there is dark blue, there can be so many shades of blue. So, like that, within goodness itself, there can be many shades.

But, there is worship of devatas, basically it is a mode of goodness. But, within that, we could say worship of Vishnu is goodness, goodness. Whereas, worship of Brahma is passion, goodness.

Worship of Shiva is ignorance, goodness. But still, there is a platform of goodness. I'll just give you another example for illustrating this.

Now, it is, Prabhupada explains something like, say, that the animals are also in the three modes. Like, say, cow is in goodness. Say, monkeys are, say, loyal, tiger and passion.

And, say, monkeys, donkeys, they are in ignorance. Now, this is true, but from another perspective, all animals are in the mode of ignorance. So, the animal body itself is in the mode of ignorance.

But, within ignorance also, we can have layers. So, say, a cow is in goodness ignorance, loyal, tiger and passion ignorance. Whereas, a monkey or a donkey is in ignorance ignorance.

So, similarly, worship of devatas is in goodness. They have fallen shastra, at least to some level, and they worship devatas. So, we should not come up with judgmental content.

So, this judgmentality, yes, Krishna is supreme, anyone has been worshipped, less intelligent. Yes, they are less intelligent from the transcendental perspective, in the sense that they are not seeking an eternal goal, they are not understanding the eternal goal. But, the fact that they are worshipping some higher being, that itself requires an intelligence.

Sometimes, we may, I just think of Utsahamayi, we do an excellent job in alienating those whom we are going to attract. So, we actually often do a fight and counterproductively. Then, after this Utsahamayi stage, we come to the next stage, that is, are you getting motivated? No, no, go ahead, go ahead.

So, none of this is restricted now? Oh, I'm sorry. So, Zeal Empire of New Calcutta is an example of a weight loss regime. Please go back one minute.

It's judgmental about anyone not following their standards. I explained all that. Let's move on.

Next stage is Ghana Tarla. Ghana Tarla means there is intensity and laxity in the whole. That, sometimes you forget about it, you practice Bhakti very, very seriously.

You know, I have practiced Bhakti so seriously, today I will chant the simple rounds and by the end I will be seeing Krishna right in front of me. Next year, 16 rounds is also too much, you know. I should be economic fanatical.

One round is good enough. So, our enthusiasm that, where initially the enthusiasm was primarily driven by external considerations. Now, when we understand that actually external considerations are not all that important.

I have to achieve some internal goal. Then at that time, sometimes you feel I want to achieve internal goal immediately. So, there is going between intensity and laxity.

And sometimes when we start studying scripture, we start studying one day, two days, three days, four days, very diligently. And after that we study for one week and after one month we don't open scripture. So, there are phases of very intense practice and after that there are phases of almost no practice or very little practice.

And this can happen if not in day-to-day practices. Sometimes we are very attentive and sometimes we are just waiting when the japa will happen. So, this happens.

Now, here is where our introspection can help us. Then, we have to recognize, the first stage in bhakti is we understand I am not the body. And that is important.

But after that, as you advance in bhakti, you also have to understand I am not the mind. And what does it mean to understand I am not the mind? That basically means, the mind is inside. We often refer to internal and external with reference to the body.

So, this laptop is external to me. And my thoughts inside are internal to me. But, perspective of external and internal is also based on a bodily conception of me.

Because my reference point for deciding what is external and what is internal is my body. But if I understand it, I assume, then, it is even the mind that is external to me. The mind is external to me.

And when I understand the mind is external to me, then at that time, what happens is I differentiate. These desires are coming. They are there inside me, but they are not my desires.

To give a simple example of what this means, suppose I am working on a computer and I am going on one side and reading something over there. Suddenly, some time comes along and says, why don't you open that side? I say, no, I don't want to go there. I want to read something else.

So, if somebody literally comes externally and tells me, why don't you open that side, we will actually evaluate. Should I open or should I not open? We will think, who is this person? How trustworthy is this person? What is this person telling about? We will think a lot about it. But, suppose, we are just on a side and suddenly something pops up.

So, because it is just coming from where we are, we might just click and go there. So, although it is not coming from an external source, still, visiting that side was not our desire. It was just a proposition that came from within.

And because if that same proposition had been given by someone else, we would have thought, should I visit or should I not visit? But, if that proposition comes automatically from the computer, just pops up over there, we just click and go there. So, like that, although it is our computer, everything that pops up in our computer is not according to our desires. So, things may pop up on their own.

So, like that, although it is our own inner territory, everything that pops up in our inner territory is not necessarily ours. So, it is sometimes, just like if we may have visited a particular site or nowadays Google also tracks what kind of sites we visit and they customize advertisements accordingly. So, we might have gone to a particular site and similar sites have suddenly come.

Although we are not interested in going towards those sites now, but they just pop up like that. So, based on, our mind also has this, we could say, default programming. So, if you have done something in the past, then the mind will again propose those things.

In Google, we have a particular site. If I visited a site earlier, then even if I no longer want to visit that site now, an autocomplete happens and then it goes to that site. So, like that, what happens is, when we start, from, when we are thinking about something, the mind autocompletes on its own limits and certain thoughts keep coming.

So, we recognize that our feelings, that our feelings are different from our mind's feelings. So, what is coming inside, everything that is coming inside me, is not necessarily me. All the desires inside me are not my desires.

Just like the pop-up in a computer is not necessarily our desire. So, like that, if somebody else would tell us, why don't you do that, why don't you go here, why don't you see this site, we would evaluate. Similarly, if something pops up in our mind also, we shouldn't think, this is my desire, I have to do it.

We should evaluate. So, that means sometimes, you may feel, I just don't feel good about this, I don't feel good. We evaluate.

Is this really my feeling? Is it coming, is it going? If we evaluate it, if we dwell on that feeling, it will grow more and more. But if we just evaluate it, this is not my feeling. See, not my feeling means, it is there inside me, but this is not the feeling I want to cultivate.

This is not the feeling that is according to my values. And therefore, I will not focus on it, and if you don't focus on that feeling, it will just go away on its own. It may just stay there for some time, so gradually it will go.

This is one thing about our feelings, that whatever feelings we have, there is certain amount of emotional energy or thought energy associated with any feeling that comes with it. if we dwell on it, we dwell on it, we give it more and more energy, and then that feeling becomes stronger and stronger. So, for example, say, now we are sitting here, and we are sitting on the floor, it may not be very comfortable, but if you focus on the fact that this is not comfortable, and that's what we keep thinking on, then what happens? The feeling of discomfort keeps increasing more and more.

On the other hand, just put it aside and focus on something else, and then if you become absorbed in that, you forget also that, oh, I was sitting uncomfortable. So, quite often, you know, when we don't have any focus, any purposeful thing to do, when we don't have an important thing to do, or we don't consider the thing which we are doing important, then the mind makes unimportant things important. So, when we don't consider the important important, the mind makes the unimportant important.

That's why, the way to go through this state of ghanatarala when there is laxity and the practice of bhakti, we need to remind ourselves, okay, why am I practicing this? How is it important? And that's why shastric study is very helpful, you know, that whatever practice of bhakti that we are doing, Prabhupada said, Diti worship, it's so wonderful, we directly get to approach Krishna, Krishna, Krishna, it is very enlivening. Prabhupada said, if you are not hearing regularly, actually, spiritual master would quote, Prabhupada would quote in that, that Diti worship itself is so enlivening, you start feeling, you know, that it is like a burden around my neck, why has my spiritual master put this burden around my neck and I have to carry it all around. So, if you don't hear regularly, then the mind will start thinking, why do I have to go on this, everyday I have to do this, everyday I have to do this, everyday I have to this.

So, the way to go beyond, go through the phases when you start to relax is by using our intelligence and using our intelligence means we have to hear the scripture regularly. Scripture strengthens our intelligence, then we can understand these feelings, they are not really magnetic, they will come and they will go. So, let me just focus on practicing them and this is, our mind will go through sine waves, sometimes it will be very enthusiastic, sometimes it will be very enthusiastic.

So, what we need is, there will be a sine wave, but that doesn't mean it should promote the outer sine wave. We start doing wrong things, no, the wrong desires will be there, but we don't have to act on those desires. Temptations may come, we don't have to welcome it.

We can say, no, I am not interested in this. We don't have to focus on saying, I am not interested in this. We focus on doing what we are interested in.

Then, if we invest our thoughts in those feelings that are coming, then those feelings will grow stronger and stronger. But, if we think that these are my feelings, then naturally we will think more about them. But, you understand, these are just coming because of the past programming of the mind.

Then, we invest our thoughts elsewhere and those feelings will go away on them. So, Ghanatarla is a stage where sometimes we are enthusiastic, sometimes we are lax. And the way we go through it is by hearing from Gurus and Shastras and letting them strengthen our intentions.

By that, we go through the stage of Ghanatarla. Then, the next stage is Vyudha Vikalpa. Vyudha Vikalpa means alternative.

Vyudha is like an array of alternatives. So, we start looking for easy ways to purify ourselves. So, we start exploring various alternatives.

So, we may think, oh, I am doing this some ways, and I am some ways, and I am doing this some ways, I this some ways, and I doing this some ways, and am this some ways, I am this some ways, I am going do this some am doing this some I can Then Prabhupada reached to him and tell him various things. Finally Prabhupada just said, then go and do it. Do whatever you want.

Prabhupada just swam. He was taken aback. And he was also taken aback.

Then afterwards he came back. After he stayed there, afterwards he came back again. No Prabhupada, I don't really want to do that.

I want to stay with you. So the point here is that the mind often paints what we are doing as very difficult and everything else as very easy. So we start thinking this is a difficult thing, other things are easy.

But actually speaking once we start doing any service any service if you want to do it as a quality service in a committed way it's not easy. It requires time, it requires effort it requires planning. So it requires application and that is something which we don't want to do.

And then you have to seek easy alternatives. We think that if I just need some formula then I will be able to march forward. But actually there is no mechanical formula.

There is a purification of the heart that is required. And that requires effort. So this searching for alternatives it can go in various ways.

For example we may think that we are going for a regular program. This preacher doesn't give me good trust. My temple president is very authority.

It can go to any my spouse is not good, my this is not good, my that is not good. We always start comparing ourselves unfavorably with others. See in the stage of first stage is what? The stage of Utsamayi, we compare ourselves favorably with others.

Now I am better than everyone. But now we start feeling sorry for ourselves. And actually self-pity is not humility.

Self-pity feeling sorry for oneself that is not humility. That is simply self-centeredness. Now I am not saying that there can be situations where changing externals can also help.

Sometimes some devotees may just not get along with them. And it may be that working with some other devotees who are like-minded, that might help us to progress steadily in life. But that is a decision which has to be taken not on the impulse of the mind.

It has to be taken with mature consideration based on intelligence. Here, in the state of Uduvika the mind is simply wanting to flip from one thing to the other. Maybe that is good.

And you know comparing our situation with that of others is one of the easiest ways to make ourselves miserable. Comparison comparing us. Because what happens is the nature of the world is that from outside everything looks easy.

Everything looks comfortable. But if you go inside everybody has their problems. Every situation has its own issues.

So, yes, sometimes change of situation may be required. But here, we start thinking that change of situation is still not the solution. No, the solution is change of consciousness.

The solution is purification. In some cases, purification is easier through a change of situation. So here what happens now sometimes we may be put in a situation where say because of our job, because of our family or whatever it is, we are away from devotees.

May not even come to the temple regularly you are not even associated with devotees regularly. At that time, sometimes even there we can practice bhakti to some extent. We may preach to others and bring them to Krishna and we may create a small spiritual circle over there.

Or we can associate online and get some association. We can associate through social media. Whatever situation we are in we need to practice bhakti in that situation.

Yes, certainly other situations may be better. So, for example, if we are in a place away from devotees and we would like to come to a place closer to devotees that is a good result. But it is not that when we are away from devotees we are constantly lamenting why am I away, why am I away, why am I away.

No, even at that time we can practice it. And we can also strive to improve the situation. But here the improving the situation becomes the mind's escape way for not improving the disposition.

For not improving the attitude. Improving the consciousness. No, we can always focus on improving our consciousness.

Along with that we can make some efforts for improving the situation also when it is necessary. And the the the mind is always for all practical purposes in our life we can make an equation. Maya is equal to the mind.

Philosophically Maya is an energy and she is Krishna's energy, she works for fulfilling Krishna's purpose. But for practical purposes Maya is equal to the mind. Now it is not that everything that the mind says is Maya.

Sometimes the mind may say good things also. But quite often Maya acts through our mind. So commitment.

Commitment means to do what we can with what we have now. To do what we can with what we have now. I have only this much time.

My job takes so much time. So I have only… Ok fine. Do what we can with what we have now.

Prabhupada for 40 years when he was preaching had practically no assistance at all. So he did what he could with what he had then. Last year when I had gone to America I went to you know up to the Lower East Side 26th Avenue where Sri Prabhupada had the first center.

So that was like a dream for me to go to this western pilgrimage center. So when I went there the first reaction was actually disappointing when I had built up the idea that it is such a wonderful place. But then when I went there it struck me that this is just another place in the neighborhood.

There is nothing special, nothing spiritual about that place. Of course the management there renovated it to make it look more modern. So that traditional feel of 1996 is also not there.

But the thing is, first I felt there is nothing special about this. Then it struck me that Prabhupada did not wait for anything special for his preaching to start. Now there was nothing spiritual about the circumstances which he was in but without waiting for anything spiritual he started on his preaching.

He did not wait for funds, he did not wait for followers, he did not wait for contacts, he did not wait for organizational support. He just continued preaching. That was his commitment.

If we wait for inspiration we are waiters. We are not devotees. Yes, we all give inspiration in our life and if there are some devotees who are inspiring, some services that are inspiring, some situations that are inspiring, we can see those situations.

But we cannot let our pause till we get inspiration. We do bhakti with whatever commitment we have. And on Krishna's inspiration we use that inspiration to increase our commitment.

So if we keep waiting for inspiration then that wait can go on for all of eternity. Because ultimately bhakti is our choice. Our spiritual master can help us, Vaishnavas can help us, but it is we who have to choose Krishna.

And that choice nobody else can do that choice for us. And when the mind goes to this thinking of you would have become oh maybe this would have been better, this would have been better, this would have been better. Now we can turn on the mind and say it's bhakti, it's my life, and it's my choice.

Nobody forced me to practice bhakti. I have chosen to practice bhakti. This is the situation I am in.

Now it's up to me. Do I want to practice this or not? Now if suddenly we are told stop practicing bhakti, most of us understand the value of bhakti enough to not give up its practice. But the mind tricks us.

The mind won't directly bring the sense gratification in a very gross way which will make us fall away from bhakti. What the mind does is, it doesn't make us give up bhakti, it makes us give up our enthusiasm for bhakti. So we are there in bhakti, but like sometimes there are small children, they don't want to go somewhere.

But they say I am not going to come. Then the parents will force them. So they come along, but while they are coming along, they are just dragging their feet.

So the parents come to me and force them all and come, come, come. And that way, they make up, pretend that I am doing what my parents have warned me to do, but they are not actually doing it. So the mind does like that.

The mind doesn't say I will not practice bhakti. No, but if only I had a more understanding of bhakti, I would practice bhakti. If I had a more understanding of family, I would practice bhakti.

If I had better health, I would practice bhakti. If my financial situation was better, I would practice bhakti. So the mind comes up to make these excuses.

Now all these can be genuine problems, and they need to be tackled. But we didn't have to stop practicing bhakti for this. So mudanikalpa means basically the mind comes up with alternatives, by which it says I will not practice bhakti because of this, this, this.

Then the next stage after that is vishaya sangraha. Vishaya sangraha means fighting with the sense objects. Sangraha is fighting.

Sangraha. So vishaya sangraha is we fight with the sense objects. So quite often we may blame others.

So for example, what happens is, say if I overeat, there is gulab jamun, I ate 10-15 gulab jamuns. And after that, gulab jamun, why did you come in my plate? You know. We can't blame the sense object.

It is we who indulge in the sense object. So like that, when we are fighting with the sense objects, what happens is, we start blaming others. Because of you, I fell down.

Because of you, this happened. Because of you, that happened. So Krishna, when he talks about lust, he talks about it in 3.30-3.40. So there, in 3.40, he talks about the vocation of lust.

Interestingly, he says, indriyani mano buddhe, asyadhishtha nukshate etai moha yuktesha, jnanam avartate hinam. He says, indriyani mano buddhe, the senses, mind and intelligence. This is where the lust is situated.

So this means, Krishna is saying that lust is not situated in the sense object. He says, lust is situated in our own senses, our own mind, our own intelligence. And that's why the process he says for purifying is, we have to purify our own senses, our own mind, our own intelligence.

So we can't blame others for our weaknesses. When we start blaming others, then that, basically, we alienate others and further, we start shifting the responsibility from ourselves to others. It doesn't work like that.

We have to recognize that, yes, there are just like certain sights, certain, people may dress inappropriately and that may trigger lust within us. But we have to understand that trigger, pressing the trigger in a bullet, in a gun, will have no effect if there is no bullet in it. So, others, the sight of the sense objects may trigger lust within us.

But that lust is already there within us. We can't blame them for it. The point is that if we start blaming others, then we shift the focus from purifying ourselves to just blaming others.

We keep, there are certain, I'll talk more about triggers and how to deal with the triggers. But before that, it is important to not blame others for our struggle with the sense objects, with the senses. So, I answer questions on my website and because people can ask, and sometimes people may not ask questions openly in a class, but they ask questions privately because they don't have to tell their views.

So, once I got a question from a mother. She said that she and her sister, they were from a childhood very religious people. And they have decided that we will marry a woman who is devoted to God.

This is in India. And then she said that my sister, she had a workplace, she met a devoted Christian man and she developed a relationship with him, she married him. And she said, I met a Hare Krishna devotee.

I found him very serious in his work. So, she said, I married a Hare Krishna devotee. And she said that you know, my sister's husband, his religion teaches him to see a good wife as a gift of God, as a blessing from God.

But, she says, my husband always treats me like a temptation was deviated from God. Is this the way I am meant to feel throughout my life? So, sometimes I feel as if my life would have been better if I had a Christian husband of Hare Krishna. So, then I gave an elaborate answer.

Actually, this is a complete misunderstanding of the Ganasthashram. In the Ganasthashram, the husband and wife, they are partners. They are not opponents.

And, overall, both, it's not that the husband and wife, they are temptations for each other. It is rather husband and wife are together fighting temptations. So, if we, the family life is essentially a partnership.

And, yes, it's not only that the wife is a temptation for the husband. The husband can also be a temptation for the wife. The Bhagavatam talks both ways.

Usually, the scriptures are written from a male perspective. That's why, often, a woman may be talked about as a source of temptation. But, in the fourth canto, it also says, for a woman, a man can be a temptation.

He talks about it just as a deer being attracted by a snail, by the sound of a flute. So, like that, a woman can be attracted by a man and a snail by a man. That example also comes in the Bhagavatam.

The point is, temptation is gender neutral. It is not temptation is gender specific. Whichever gender we belong to, temptations will come to all of us.

And, as a couple, we have to together fight temptation. So, if we start blaming others for our weaknesses, then, we are creating in what is meant to be a partnership an understanding combat. So, that means that the husband and wife, when they are practicing bhakti, the four, see, the Bhagavatam talks about, say, a wife being a temptation.

But, the Bhagavatam also talks about the kingdom being a temptation, property being a temptation. Everything can be a temptation. We have to remember, the Bhagavatam has spoken to Pankaj Maharaj who has renounced the world and is about to die.

So, at that time, everything in the world is a temptation. Everything in the world is a distraction. But, it is not that, say, Ram and Sita are in the forest.

Ram is not a Sita. You are a temptation. No, no.

So, if we are living in Granth Ashram and we are functioning in the world, we function as partners. So, if we start blaming others, the blaming can be generic. You know, people dress in such obscene ways.

That's why I can't control myself. Or, it can be specific way. Any kind of blaming, it is a mind's strategy to avoid responsibility.

Now, having said that, we all need to… So, we have to see that vision of Shiva and Parvati, they are together. What is that called? Ardha? Ardha Narayana Shiva. So, basically, the husband and wife are like two people who have come together.

So, they are partners. That should never be forgotten. Having said that, we all need to recognize that there is… our own consciousness goes through various areas.

So, in our consciousness, we can roughly draw a category. There is safe zone, there is temptation zone, there is danger zone and there is relapse or pausing. What does that mean? Just like a simple photographical example.

Say, there is a steep mountain cliff from which there is a fall. Now, people may go on top of a mountain to see the sight over there. And if one is at a sufficient distance from the cliff, from the cliff's edge, one can see the sights without any danger.

That's the safe zone on that mountain cliff. But if one starts going too close to the cliff, then that, that is the danger zone. And then, if one just goes right to the edge of the cliff and one leg has gone down, then that's the fall zone.

So, like that, for us, in dealing with our consciousness, our consciousness also goes through these different zones. So, there is always some agitation of consciousness. But that agitation is usually a tolerable agitation.

It is not an agitation that is making us so wide and restless that we have to immediately realize our consciousness. So, we, normally, we situate ourselves in the safe zone. Okay, if I am doing these activities, most of the time we find that if we are busy, if we keep ourselves busy, not just physically running around, but mind absorbed, then we are not always agitated.

So, absorption in Krishna is the safe zone for our consciousness. Not just absorption in Krishna alone. Actually, it can be absorption in anything constructive also.

Even in our job, if we are absorbed, then we can stay safe. So, that is a safe zone for our consciousness. So, we need to identify what is a safe zone and absorb ourselves in that.

And then, especially within our own bhakti, we can find out those things which enable us to absorb ourselves easily. And this is also a big subject in itself, the concept of Rasa. But in the Bhakti Samut Sindhu, Rasa talks about something called the Uddhipan.

Uddhipan means spiritual stimulus. So, all of us, I talked about Uddhipan in the Holy Name Sriman. How many of you were there for the Holy Name Sriman? Oh, okay.

So, Uddhipan basically is spiritual stimulus. That means, for all of us, we may find that say, a particular detail, or a particular picture of the deities, a particular tune of the Hare Krishna Mantra, maybe a particular Vaishnava song, a particular shloka, or a particular place, its picture, its memory, that will trigger spiritual emotion within us. And when that spiritual emotion is triggered, we become absorbed in it.

So, then, here, we all need to find out what is our Uddhipan. That may vary from person to person. Some people, they just go and look at the deities and say, Oh, this is just like Hare Krishna.

Everything is here. And we feel very prayerful and very emotional when we look at the deities. Some others, they may find that, actually, when you sit down, Shastra, Shastra, Shastra, and reciting verses, and we feel very absorbed.

So, we have to find out what is our spiritual stimuli. And by that, we can, if we start exposing ourselves to spiritual stimuli, we place ourselves in the safe zone. In the safe zone of the body.

So, now, a part of the safe zone is the danger zone. Danger zone means, that is the time when the agitation starts becoming strong. By the time the desires, they are there, then there is a faint background noise, but then they start coming in the foreground.

That can happen from both ways. That can sometimes happen, sometimes, the sense objects come toward the senses, sometimes the senses go toward the sense objects. That means, that the desires becoming stronger, they may sometimes happen because of external stimuli, or, it may also happen sometimes because of internal, internal, activation of past moments.

So, either way, whichever way it happens, when the agitation starts becoming stronger, that time we know, I am in the danger zone. So then, when we go into the danger zone, we need to have some deepens, some spiritual stimuli ready for us, where we can recite some words, or we can sing some song, we can pray to the deities, have a picture of our deities on the wall, and then, by that spiritual stimuli, we pull ourselves back into the safe zone. That is the danger zone.

And, what I said, there are triggers. So, if this is the safe zone, this is the danger zone. Then the triggers are what take us from the safe zone to the danger zone.

And the stimuli, that deepens, is what takes us back to the safe zone. So, we have to find out what our triggers are also. So, all of us, we all have our standard identity planning, but still, the specific ways in which it may attack us will be different.

So, we have to find out, maybe, say, if I am going from home to office, along the way, there are some hoardings, there are some billboards, there are some nasty images over there. So then, if I see them, I get agitated. Then, I may make a plan.

It may take a few minutes more, but I might just take some other road and go. Or, I might consciously plan not to look in that direction. But usually, when we tell them, I don't look in that direction, what happens is, the more we focus on the negative, not bring something, just like, you know, if your children go into teenage, then there is teenage rebellion that comes.

And then, the very thing we tell them, don't do, they do it just because of that rebelliousness. Not because they like it, but just because the teenage hormones are so rebellious that they want to do it, just because they are told not to do it. So, like that, sometimes, if you tell the mind, don't do this, that's what the mind wants to do.

So, rather than focusing on telling the mind what you should not do, we can focus on what the mind can do. We say, maybe, we can have some nice seeratans going on, or have some absorbing lecture going on in our car itself, or whatever. Then, we are focusing on something constructive.

And if that is the focus, then it's much easier to say no to whatever we don't want to indulge in. So, our focus in bhakti always has to be on the positive. We have to be aware of the negative, what we should give up.

But, our focus has to be on the positive, what I should be doing. It's like, say, if I have this bottle, and if I say that, you know, I will empty this bottle of all air, it's very difficult to keep it empty, to make a vacuum in it. And even if I succeed in making a vacuum, a slight change in the lid position of the individual air will go out.

But if I want to remove the air from it, instead I focus on filling it with water, then automatically the air will go out. So, like that, our focus should be on filling our consciousness with Krishna. And, automatically, the temptations will go out.

But still, we can be aware, if I know, okay, there is a leak in this bottle somewhere over here. Then, I have to make sure especially that that is closed. So, like that, if we have certain triggers, we need to take care that we don't expose ourselves to those triggers unnecessarily.

So, we cannot avoid all exposure in today's world. But, we can, if certain things are especially agitating, we can take special precautions to avoid that. So, for example, nowadays, with internet available everywhere, just by clicking a few buttons, we can access all kinds of nasty sites.

So, if that is a problem, then we can have a net filter, internet filter, which blocks certain sites. So, you know, we are surfing on the net. Sometimes, surfing on the net ends up becoming suffering on the net.

We just get caught in one thing, second thing, third thing, fourth thing. So, we have to, ourselves, know our triggers and we have to protect ourselves from the triggers. This is something which is our own work, nobody else can do it for us.

Because, we have to find out what are our triggers. And in that way, we can have our, those things which protect us, they take us towards Krishna. And the whole thing in Vishaya Sangraha, in the battle of the sense objects, usually, it is that the impulses come very strongly, sometimes.

And when they come very strongly, at that time, for a few moments or a few minutes, our intelligence is completely lost. Now, if at that time, the sense object is immediately available for us, then we may indulge. But, if we can endure those few minutes, when the desire is very strong, then, after that, our intelligence gets restored and says, I don't need to do this.

So, that's why we can create, say, if the sense object is here, I am here. And we can create some blockers between us and the sense objects. Whatever are our triggers, we can create some blockers.

So, the net filter, having a net filter on our phone or having a net filter on our computer, that is basically a blocker. The urge comes to see something on the net. And if I just, if it's so easy, I will just click a button and everything, the whole world of degradation opens up for us.

But, if there is just a filter, there is some blocker in between, then that stops in that time. And if that few moments itself can stop, then, during that time, quite often, intelligence gets restored. So, this is, Bhakti is not just about chanting the holy names.

Hare Krishna Mahamantra is like a machine gun. You know, we have to shoot the machine gun, but we have no whom to shoot with the machine gun. Isn't it? So, we have to know what our allahs are.

And we have to know how we can battle with the allahs. Otherwise, if we don't take these precautions, then we may just go on chanting for a long time, but still we keep exposing ourselves to our triggers and keep on. So, with chanting Hare Krishna is purifying.

But we also have to use the potency of chanting to purify ourselves. We have to find out what our weaknesses are and deal with them. And Vishaya Sangraha is something which as we keep practicing Bhakti, more and more, it gradually becomes easier.

Because, two things happen as we keep practicing Bhakti. First is we start as we keep practicing Bhakti and getting purified, we start relishing Krishna more and more. And secondly, we also start recognizing the staleness of sense objects.

There is nothing great in this. And then gradually that shift of our focus from the world to the sense objects, from the world to Krishna will happen. And during this period, we don't have to become too discouraged or disheartened.

The important thing is, just keep practicing Bhakti. Even if we are defeated in the battle of the sense objects, that doesn't mean that we have to give up. See, we may fall down, but we don't have to fall away.

Fall down means we are on the path of Bhakti and we fall down. We are unable to follow standards. So, we may fall down.

But falling away means giving up Bhakti. So, nothing should make us give up Bhakti. No matter how badly we are defeated in our battle of sense objects, still, that is a fall down.

So, sometimes the force of the mind may make us fall down. But the mind cannot make us fall away. The mind cannot make us give up.

What I mean by that is, let's say, this is our normal state of consciousness, where there is some background agitation, but it is not, we are not like haunted by desire. But within that, sometimes there are, it's like if you see the power, electric current, sometimes power spikes. So, the electric current is at this level, suddenly there is a spike which goes to this level.

And then it comes back. And what happens, when the spike goes to that level, if there is no spike guard or something, then the device will get damaged. But, if there is a spike guard, then normal electricity is essential for us and normal electricity is not harmful.

So, like that, sometimes in our consciousness, there are spikes which come up. And when the spikes come up, we may just become helpless at that. I mean, no matter what our resolutions, whatever our convictions, at that time we just feel overwhelmed by love.

So, the important thing is, that not what happens during the spikes. The important thing is, what happens before and after the spikes. If after the spike, we are just lamenting, why did I do that? Why did I do that? No, during that time, we should be focusing on Krishna.

We should be focusing on connecting with Krishna and purifying ourselves. Then, if we are purifying ourselves back away, then what are we doing by that? We are increasing our strength. And then gradually when the spikes come, we will be able to resist those spikes also.

So, if the spikes come and we fall also because of those spikes, we didn't become that spike conscious. Why did I do that? And we are, so this was for a few minutes or for some time there was a spike. But after that for several days, our consciousness is relatively calm.

But during that time, if we are thinking, why did I do that? Why did I do that? Why did I do that? That time goes away and the next spike comes. And again we fall. And again we are thinking, why did I do that? Why did I do that? Why did I do that? But, how it is, you know, imagine if you have a boss.

And the boss tells you, you know, you go and do this work. And then you do that work and then he says, why did you do that? He says, you only told me. Why did you do that? You should have used your intelligence.

That's a waste of time. So like that, working with such a person would be impossible. Because he tells you to do something and you just tell him to do that.

So the mind is like that. Now first it makes us fall for sense objects. And then it says, why did you fall for the sense objects? So basically, what the mind is doing is, it is using a very deceptive double rule.

First, it acts as a tempter and then it acts as a moralizer. So it first causes us to fall morally and then it just tells us for falling morally. So basically, stop being mind conscious.

Okay, I fell, doesn't matter. Now let me not think about that. Let me think about Krishna.

So what happens during the phases of spikes may not be in our control. But what happens in between those spikes is definitely in our control. And if that we focus on, if that time we are trying to focus on Krishna, trying to intensify our practice of bhakti, then after that, gradually the spikes magnify.

We will be able to tolerate the spikes. We will be able to give them up. So Vishaya Sangraha, building over it is going to be a gradual process.

And then we are battling through it. At that time, there is no need to become too disheartened by it. One big problem comes up is, in the practice of bhakti, is that we become too too temptation centered rather than Krishna centered.

Just the capacity to give up temptation is not the sole marker of advancement in devotion. There can be mayavadis who may be renunciates, but they have no devotion for Krishna. So our process is to develop devotion for Krishna.

And as a result of developing devotion, temptations will also go up. We shouldn't think that my spiritual life begins and ends with how much I am able to resist temptation. No.

There is much more to spiritual life than battling with temptations. And whatever we are, let us go right now and battle with temptations. We keep practicing bhakti, we keep intensifying our bhakti as much as possible.

So, our success in winning against temptation alone doesn't mean that we have become advanced devotees. And our failure in the battle against temptation alone does not mean that we are degraded devotees. Bhakti is defined by many things apart from the battle with temptations.

How much we have committed in our overall service to Krishna. How much we are taking responsibility for Krishna. How much we are attracted to Krishna and purposes of bhakti.

All those are so important. And that's what we should focus on. And then, if we are nourishing ourselves with bhakti, then even though spikes come gradually, you will be able to tolerate the spikes and gradually the spikes amplitude themselves will also start increasing.

So, this is vishayasangana. And then, last stage in this is no, there are two more. Niyamakshama.

Niyamakshama. Shama means capable. Akshama means not capable.

So, Niyamakshama means inability to stick to our resolutions. We will make a resolution. Tomorrow, I will wake up and complete all my rounds in the morning.

And then one week it goes on and afterwards, life comes in the way. And then, we go from completing all our rounds in the morning to leave all our rounds for the night. Now, Niyamakshama means we are incapable of sticking to our resolutions.

Now, when this happens, we have to know that bhakti is very subtle. First of all, resolutions are good. And, even if we are not able to stick to resolutions, we make resolutions just for a few days.

Even for a few days, we are benefited. What the mind does is, because I am not able to stick to resolutions, the mind says, don't make any resolutions. No, that's not necessary.

In fact, see, we all have to deal with our own mind. And, we have to find out what is the nature of our mind and find out a way to make it. Sometimes, I have found that making different resolutions and different lifestyles.

So, if I say, for the rest of my life, I am going to do this. Everyday, I will study one hour, three hour, four hour Shastra. It doesn't work.

But, there are so many things which can improve in our spiritual life. And, we can choose different things at different times. One week, I will focus on the chanting.

Everyday, I will chant in the morning. One week, I will focus on reading Shastra every day. One week, I will focus on having a very nice consciousness and meeting God.

So, that way, the mind doesn't feel what happens is, sometimes, if I have to carry a brick. The brick is not very difficult to carry. It's a small weight.

But, if I have to carry the brick for the next say, 72 hours. Then, the brick starts becoming like a bird. And, when I think I have to carry it for the next 72 hours, it starts becoming a bird and we find it soon.

Because, I think that I have to do it for such a long time. So, sometimes, we think that I make a resolution for a whole lifetime. Then, the mind makes a big bird.

So, instead of making a lifetime resolution, we can make short resolutions. And, that way, the mind doesn't feel you are forbidding me from this forever. But, we make a resolution for a short time and then, later on, we can make a resolution for some other thing.

We are improving various things in our spiritual life. And, the mind also looks for newness. So, if there are some new resolutions, the mind doesn't resent it so much.

So, basically, this may work. I am just giving a strategy about how we can make our resolutions. We don't have to think that just because I can't stick to my resolution doesn't mean I have no determination.

It just means that we have to find out how we can access our determination. We have to find out the way in which we can act in a determined way. It is not the same for everyone.

And, in bhakti, it is important that bhakti is very subtle. Sometimes, our strengths can become our weaknesses. And, conversely, our weaknesses can become our strengths.

What does that mean? Our strengths can become our weaknesses. Say, if I resolve, I will never take sweets anymore in my life. Okay, I make a resolution.

I may succeed in that. But, by that success, I become proud. Okay, I have controlled my tongue.

But, I have also inflated my ego. And then, there is another Ravata. I may be sticking to my resolution.

But, I may not be going closer to Krishna. If my ego has become bigger, I may not be going closer to Krishna. Sometimes, our strengths, those things which we can do well, they can make us proud.

And, they become our weaknesses. Then, what happens? Whatever we are good at, we start taking shelter of that instead of taking shelter of Krishna. Whenever we want confidence, we want inspiration, we start doing that and we don't really think about Krishna.

Somebody who is very good at music, and they can sing very nicely and they can absorb themselves in Krishna. But, sometimes, it becomes if we focus too much on music, then it becomes more of a musical performance than devotional performance. Now, it's not wrong to sing nicely for Krishna.

To learn music for Krishna, that's also good. But, sometimes, music can become a substitute for Krishna. Instead of becoming a path to Krishna, we just delight only in the music without thinking of Krishna.

So, we have to be careful. Just because somebody is able to stick to resolutions, that does not necessarily mean that they are advancing. It can mean that they are advancing, but our strengths, if they make us proud, they become our weaknesses.

In contrast, our weaknesses, some resolutions are just not able to work. Some anarthas are just not able to work. If those anarthas, those weaknesses, they can make us realize our dependence on Krishna.

They can make us understand, without Krishna, I don't exist. I need Krishna. If they can awaken within us that urgent need for Krishna, then they can become actually our strengths.

Because they become the impellers for us to go seriously towards Krishna. So, our weaknesses can also become our strengths. So, if we are trying to stick to our resolutions, we shouldn't simply think that succeeding in our resolutions necessarily means success in God.

Yes, it can and it should mean like that. But it is not by default. It's not a failure in our resolutions.

It's necessarily a failure in God. Sometimes I fail in my resolutions, and that makes me more dependent on Krishna. It makes me more uncomfortable.

Actually, by failing in that resolution, I may go closer to Krishna. And by succeeding in that resolution, I may go away from Krishna. And as per Niyamakshayam, when we make resolutions and we try to stick to resolutions, we also need to… It's very good if we can have what is called an accountability partner.

Accountability partner means if we are planning to do something. Let's say I am planning to study Shastra. If I decide I want to memorize verses.

So, memorizing verses alone is fine. But if we decide… We have some other devotees also who are interested in memorizing verses. And we start to make a partnership.

So, every week I want to memorize a verse. And whenever we meet, we ask, what are the verses you memorized? So, when we meet, that devotee asks us, what did you memorize? And we ask that devotee, what did you memorize? Just that simple thing. And by having somebody with whom we can share our resolutions, what it does is, we are not devotees.

And trying to imagine that we can be devotees right now, that actually keeps us for a longer duration. So, if we tell someone, I am going to do this, then what happens? There is some sense of pride also that I want to do this. Otherwise, what is the reason I should do that? And because of that, we do a thing.

That's not the best motive. But, at our level, beggars are not choosers. So, somehow or the other, fix the Manakrishna.

Somehow or the other, fix the Manakrishna. So, if we have some accountability part done with us, and then, every day, I am going to start memorizing. Or every day, I am going to read the scripture for half an hour.

Whatever. And then we are going to be asking, how much did you read? How many did I read? And then, that way, having some association, that not only brings the two devotees closer to each other, but it also helps us instigate our emotions. Whatever they may be.

So, that way, we can overcome this obstacle of Niyamakshama. And then, the last one is, it is Taranga Rangini. Rangini is delighting.

Taranga is the waves. There is an ocean of devotion, and you want to dive deep into the ocean of devotion. But, at the surface, there are waves.

And we delight in the waves. That means, we delight in the fringe benefits of Bhakti. What are the fringe benefits of Bhakti? Now, when we are practicing Bhakti, Adalmey, praise us, Adalmey, respect us.

We become popular. And, that is what gives us great joy. So, that is, Bhakti offers these benefits also.

Now, we say, We don't want any of these things. But, actually, when we practice Bhakti, quite often, Krishna sends these such things to us to test us. So, at that time, what we need to do is, we need to remember our purpose.

So, we are practicing Bhakti for right now. Ultimately, we want to practice Bhakti for loving Krishna. But, right now, we practice Bhakti for purifying all.

Not for productivity, not for popularity. Productivity is, you know, how many books I have distributed, or how many this I have done, how many people I have made into devotees, or how many people come for my class. All these things are external.

Actually, if we strive for purity, productivity and popularity all will follow afterwards. But, if we pursue productivity and popularity, then we will lose purity. So, we have to put first things first.

Put purity first. And, certainly, as devotees, we want to preach. We want to share Krishnams with others.

But, the sharing should be because of, we are connected with Krishna. We are happy in our Krishna Consciousness. And that's why we want to share with others.

Yes, Krishna Consciousness is also wonderful. Why don't you also practice it? But, sometimes, instead of, you know, we are not practicing Bhakti seriously. We are not remembering Krishna.

And we are not happy in our Krishna Bhakti. Then, our outer preaching becomes a substitute for our inner preaching. Inner preaching means we are meant to preach Krishna.

And, we think because so many people appreciate my singing, because so many people come for my lectures, because so many people like myself, like whatever I am doing, they praise what I am doing, that's why I am a good devotee. No. Certainly, this can be the sign that I am a good devotee.

But, the primary sign that I am a good devotee is I am connected with Krishna. I am remembering Krishna. I feel satisfied in the remembrance of Krishna.

So, in the fringe benefits of Bhakti, if we delight too much, we can't, we can't, we don't have to make it a rigid rule that I will not delight in these things. It doesn't work like that. No.

Bhakti is a composite package. If somebody gives a class in which they crack a joke, at that time, you should be thinking, am I laughing for my picture or Krishna's picture? No. No.

That's funny. But, we should not rate spiritual wisdom based on the laughter test. That means, you know, if somebody's class has a lot of jokes, good speaker.

It's a good class. And no jokes, boring speaker. Now, spiritual wisdom, we can't rate it based on the laughter test.

But, in the process of giving spiritual wisdom, if there's entertainment, if there's humour, it's wonderful. So, it's not that, so, I'll conclude with this point. Like, this is a circle of things that give us pleasure.

And say, this is a circle of things that give Krishna pleasure. There are devotional activities. Now, it's not that the two are entirely non-intersecting.

It is not that in order to selflessly serve Krishna, Krishna wants us to be miserable for the rest of our lives. Not like that. So, the thing is, there is a significant intersection between these things that we like to do, that give us pleasure and the things that are in the realm of bhakti and give Krishna pleasure.

Now, we we will be naturally happy when we are situated in that circle. Say, if we are of intellectual orientation and somebody who is very intellectually appealing class, we like it. If we like music very much and somebody sings very nice, beautiful music, we like that.

If we like aesthetic decoration and somebody dresses the deities very beautifully, we will naturally feel absorbed in that kind of decoration. Now, this is good. So, this is where we are situated in an intersection.

And the whole principle of Vahidashram is actually to be situated in an intersection. Now, if I am a Brahmin, I do Brahminical work for Krishna. So, we should situate ourselves in an intersection.

But at the same time, within what we like, there are things which are outside the realm of bhakti also. So, we shouldn't just seek those things and give up bhakti for that. And second thing is, there are things in bhakti which are not necessarily in our liking.

If our service requires us to do those things, we should do those also. It's not that we have to go out of our way to do the things that we don't like to do. Not like that.

Just like a simple example is prasad. Now, suppose in prasad, there is some item which you like or don't like. Now, it is not that in order to practice bhakti purely, I should not eat the things that I like.

It's not like that. You know, if you like that, then that is if there is some item which we like and that comes at an intersection of what is connected with Krishna and what is likeable to us. We can eat that.

But, suppose there is prasad which you don't like. Say, I'll not take prasad. I'll take non-prasad because I don't like this.

Then, that is not good. So, what we need to do is, if we can situate ourselves at an intersection of the two, that is fine. But, if we can't situate at an intersection, then a bhakti requires us to do something which is not necessarily according to our liking.

If we have to do it for some time, we will be able to do it. But, it's not that we seek the material benefits that come from bhakti and neglect the process of bhakti. When that happens, then there is a serious problem that comes up.

So, tarantara giri is something which we can avoid if we are doing sadhana properly. Because, especially our chanting and even our spiritual study, now that keeps reminding us of our purpose. In chanting, really there is not much fringe benefit that we can get.

In kirtan, actually there is some music, there is some other thing. Maybe we are dancing. There are other things which we also can't focus on Krishna.

In chanting, there is not much we can focus on other than Krishna. So, when we are doing the core devotional activities, giri and chanting, that reminds us of what is the sagar and what is the tabanga in the sagar. What is the real ocean of bhakti and what are the vayus that are moving on the surface of that ocean.

And that way we can reorient ourselves towards the ocean. And, it is said that when an airplane is moving, say, if I came from Canberra to here, so when the airplane is flying in the air, 95% of the time, the airplane is off track. But, how does it get to the destination? Because the pilot repeatedly keeps getting it on track.

Now, of course, nowadays in airplanes, there are also machine mechanisms by which because of the wind, because of the pressure, the airplane goes off track and it comes on track. Goes off track, comes on track. So, we shouldn't feel disheartened if we find ourselves going off track.

Rather, when we go off track, we get ourselves back on track. When we go off track, we get ourselves back on track. And by then, we keep moving onwards.

If we just become disheartened because we are going off track, that's the way the mind is. We don't have to become disheartened. We have to be prepared for it.

That way, it's easy to conclude. Just feel good. No, we are not.

The mind, one of the ways it works is, you are so far that you can never become normal again. That means, the mind, the mind is saying that you, how the magnitude of your impurity is greater than the magnitude of Krishna's purified goodness. What can be a bigger ego than that? This might seem like humility.

I am very humble. No. But that is a very big thing that I am so humble that even Krishna can tell me.

It's like somebody says, you are a little dirty. Why don't you go and take a bath? It's a big, nice river. No, I am so dirty that by going into that river, the whole river will become dirty.

Well, it's not going to happen first of all. It's just an excuse for not remaining. So, like that, you should never think that we are too fallen to practice.

Whatever happens, we can always keep practicing bhakti and in due course of time, we will move on. And especially when I first read this, first I read the Bhakti Samastitam in 9 stages, that itself inspired me very much. But when I read Madhya Kadam for the first time, it struck me.

The first thing that struck me is that my battles are not my battles alone. It's not that I am going through some special problem that nobody has gone through. Yes, a specific problem is a problem which is special, maybe distinctive to me.

But overall, the problems are others have weathered the same storm and by the time I say process of bhakti, they have gone through the storm. And we too can go through the storm. We just have to keep practicing.

Keep practicing. No matter what happens, we just keep continuing in our devotional service and in due course of time, we will attain Krishna. So, to summarize, we started with talking about bhakti is a spiritual journey, inner journey and that we needed a map for that.

So, what the map is? It's described in the Bhagavatam in brief in 5 verses, 16 to 20. So, we have to go back. So, how this map is first described in the Bhagavatam and it's further described in Narottama's Hindu and there were specific stages of that.

Now, we can describe it in Andhra Kadam. We will discuss that further. 9 stages of how from favourable curiosity through the association of devotees, through the practice of bhakti, through the removal of adalatas, we come to realized conviction.

From the faith of a banyan tree to the faith of a banyan tree. And then from there, there is positive interaction towards Krishna. First, we attach to the process of bhakti.

Then we attach to the first we get taste in bhakti. Then we get attached to the person, the object of bhakti. And we start experiencing divine emotions of connection with Krishna.

And then we will be filled with love for Krishna. And this, these are not discrete steps, they are overlapping steps. And they are, in this, the long series of Anandamruti.

In that Anandamruti, we analyze the Mahabharata in Krishna Chakravarti, the 6 stages. Go ahead. So, we have the 6 stages.

Utsahamayi, where we are enthusiastic to practice bhakti. But it is more of a fad for us. That externally, we want to show what are you doing, not internally purify us.

And because of that, we often become judgmental towards others. And we elude others. So, we have to be careful that bhakti is meant for our inner truth, not just for outward intentions.

And this is why we never make laws. When we start realizing that actually we have to purify ourselves internally, we understand it is not so easy to do. So then, sometimes we are very enthusiastic, sometimes we become very apathetic.

So for that, we have to recognize our feelings are not necessarily our feelings. It's like, if somebody tells me to surf a site, how do you think, should I open the window or not? If something just pops up, I'm just going to go there. So, like that, sometimes something pops up in our mind, and we just do that.

We just let out that feeling and act on it. But you know, just like that pop-up window is not our desire. Similarly, whatever pops up in our conscience is also not necessarily our desire.

What is within us is not necessarily our desire. So, by recognizing the mind is also external to us as souls, we can evaluate what thoughts are coming in the mind. And, if they are not what are favorable to us, just keep them at a distance, and they will grow.

And, if we don't dwell on the feelings, they won't grow. If we dwell on them, they will grow. So, the inner sine wave will be there, but by our distancing ourselves from the feelings that come within us, we can avoid that causing the outer fall for us.

Then we look for easy alternatives in the process of bhakti. We start feeling that whatever I am doing, that is just a problem. Something else could be there.

But, there may be sometimes an external situation may, change of external situation may improve our facility for practicing bhakti. But, even wherever we are, we keep practicing bhakti, I also can try to improve the situation. We shouldn't focus so much on the external situation that we don't practice bhakti at all.

So, commitment is to do what we can, with what we have, now. And, then after that we discussed Vishayasana, that we discussed elaborately, that we shouldn't blame others for our own unorthogonal, our own temptation, our own weaknesses, that we are having some, we can ask them to understand by observing our consciousness, what is the safe zone, where the agitation is in a tolerable level. And, when we go to danger zone, when it becomes intolerable, it's going to become intolerable, and then there is a fall zone, a relapse zone, when we actually succumb to something wrong.

So, in that time, our triggers are those things which take us from the safe zone to the temptation zone, to the danger zone, and from there to the relapse zone. So, if we find out what our triggers are, then we can create protection for us. We don't have to expose ourselves to those triggers in this scenario.

And, conversely, there is a force that takes us away from here to there, so we try to avoid, minimize exposure to that and try to create blockers in the sense of, and even we try to create some obstacles between, like a neck filter on our phone, if somebody is browsing a wrong site. Then, there is also a deep one, the stimuli, that take us from here to there. So, they take us from wherever we are towards the safe zone, and they take us deep into the safe zone of absorption.

You can find out what are our spiritually stimulating stimuli produced in the past, and you can keep those readily accessible for us. And, in the Vishaya Samhita, we should not make the success in the battle against sense gratification the sole barometer of our spiritual advancement. Our spiritual advancement depends on overall how we are practicing bhakti, and no matter how we are failing in our battle against the sense objects, we focus on practicing bhakti, and gradually.

So, the important thing is, the spikes when they come, they may be intolerable, but we don't have to be dwelling on the spikes after or before them. At that time, we are practicing bhakti. So, the mind sometimes, first makes us do wrong, and then justifies us for doing wrong.

So, we don't have to fall for the trick of the mind. In the remaining time, we can be Krishna conscious. We make resolutions, but we never stick to them.

And, when this happens, we shouldn't think that I don't have determination, but rather, we have to find out our way to access our determination. Sometimes, having short resolutions for short periods, that may help. Or, we can have a contemplative partner with whom we can be able to stick to resolutions better.

And, we know that even if we can't stick to resolutions, that again is not a failure in bhakti. Because, if we succeed in the resolution and become proud, then we are going to Krishna. Our strength is becoming our weakness.

And, if we fail in the resolution but didn't come out of it as Krishna, then our weakness is becoming our strength. And then, lastly, we discussed about Tarangaragini. Bhakti gives us fringe benefits.

But, these fringe benefits can distract us from bhakti if we focus only on them, or if we practice bhakti only for them. So, we can situate ourselves in the zone where some of the things that give us pleasure and things that are in the realm of bhakti also. But, if this requires us, then we need to do things which we may not like to do also.

And, if the temptation comes that we can do things just because I like them and there is no connection with bhakti, then we have to resist that temptation. And, our outer preaching should be a result of our inner reaching of Krishna, not a substitute for inner reaching of Krishna. And, lastly, whatever we are doing, whatever we are initially fighting in our path, we may fall down, but we don't need to fall.

Just keep practicing bhakti. And, in due course of time, we will pursue bhakti in work and we will march onwards towards Krishna. So, thank you very much.

So, how many of you have questions on this? Not now. Not now. But, we will have, we have a third session going to the question and answer session.

So, at that time, some of the questions yesterday and the questions today also will be there. Just one second. How many of you have questions? It's a lot.

Okay. We will announce whether we will have the next session of question and answer or we will have session after the question and answer. We will announce on this.

Thank you.